So I was re-inspired for this story. I stopped writing for a little while because I had no idea where to go with it after everything with the show happened.

Thank you for those of you who stuck with me along this journey! It's been grand.

Kate was glad her phone hadn't rung, informing her of a dead body. She didn't think she would be able to handle the harsh lights of a crime scene and the tons of people asking her questions and conversing with her as if nothing was wrong.

Everything was wrong. Her entire world had just been flipped upside down and somehow the rest of civilization seemed to go on. She walked home because she knew if she was left to her own thoughts in the back of a cab, she would break down.

Now, finally home, she allowed the tears she had kept so carefully bottled up to flow freely down her face. She tried her best to see reason. Yes, Rick had been doing it with good intentions in mind, but the "Damn it" he whispered as soon as he realized what she had discovered in his office was the only indication she needed that he knew all along what he was getting into.

He knew she wouldn't have wanted this. Anyone who knew her even a fraction was able to figure out that they shouldn't touch her mother's case. Joanna was hers to deal with and hers alone. Why couldn't Rick comprehend such a simple idea when he was the one man in her life that she truly needed to understand.

Above all else, this was why she had put so carefully placed so many walls around her heart. This exact feeling of despair and disappointment was why she had held off on admitting her feelings for so long. No matter what happened in her life, everyone always left. She had no constant. Not anymore.

She hated how small this made her feel. The fact that she had finally opened herself up to someone after all this time and to have it all come crashing down so soon… it was devastating.

Checking her watch, she realized she had wasted the entire day drowning herself in her misery and a rather expensive bottle of scotch. This fact hit her hard and fast when she rose from her couch and the apartment began to spin around her.

Glancing at her phone, which was now vibrating for what seemed like the 50th time, she realized that despite her emotions, something horrible could have happened to Rick. Maybe, he wasn't calling her for his own reasons but because he truly needed her help.

That's what she told herself, at least, as she finally picked up her phone to answer.

"Hello?" She whispered, trying her hardest not to slur her words. She had given up on walking to her bedroom as walking in a straight line was clearly an impossible feat.

"Kate?" Rick's panicked voice sounded on the other line, "I know you told me to wait before I called, but I couldn't. Kate, I'm so—"

"You shouldn't call me so many times like that!" Kate said, lying awkwardly on the couch while pointing a finger at nothing in the air. Yes, she was extremely intoxicated. "I only picked up because I thought something might be wrong, but now that I know there is nothing, I'm just going to…"

"Ka—are you okay?" He said, hardly comprehending what she had just said due to the slurring in her words. "Are you drunk?"

Kate laughed a little at that. "What do you care, Ricky? Maybe you can finally learn your lesson!" She paused, sitting up now and holding her head at the spinning it caused. "I can do what I want with my life. If I want to do something, that is my choice. So yes, I am drunk and to be honest, I feel a hell of a lot better than I did when I wasn't." She smirked, feeling as though she proved a point.

"I'm coming over. Don't do anything stupid, please." He sounded desperate and genuinely worried. Maybe this was a lot more irrational than she thought.

"You are not stepping one foot through my front door! Don't even think about coming over here, I do not want to see your face right now!" She wasn't even thinking before she spoke anymore. The words were just flowing out of her mouth, whether or not they made sense.

Kate waited for a response before realizing Rick had hung up on her. "What an ass!" She exclaimed to no one in particular. Getting up, Kate moved to the door and after a few tries, finally succeeded in locking it. Smiling at her handy work, she flopped down on the floor a little away and succumbed to her sadness once again.

Rick made it to Kate's apartment in record timing. He didn't even hesitate to reach for the spare key above the doorframe and enter the apartment with ease. "Kate?" He called out into the seemingly empty room. He started to worry that she had left when he heard a moan coming from his right.

Looking over, he found his girlfriend sprawled out on the floor, cheeks wet with the tears she had clearly been shedding for a while.

"Get away from me!" She screamed as he began to approach her. This version of her was so much different than the Kate Beckett he was used to, he almost feared her.

"You know I can't do that." He continued toward her, raising his hands now in a sign of surrender.

"I don't want you here." She slurred, trying (pathetically) to get up and move away from him.

"Why would you do this to yourself?" The writer kneeled down on the floor in front of her, slowly reaching out to take hold of the face he had long ago memorized.

"I have nobody, Castle." She sobbed, irrational from the alcohol she had consumed but expressing her inner thoughts all the same. "There is nothing left for me. I—I don't know what I am fighting for anymore." A lone tear now streaked down her face.

"Are you kidding? Kate, you still have me! I don't think you'll be able to see it right now, but I was protecting you. I was protecting your life so you would be able to fight for whatever you decide is worth fighting for!" He paused, stroking her cheek out of love and frustration. "I understand your anger, Kate. But this… this is childish and irrational. Please let me get you to bed so you can sleep this off. We can talk in the morning."

Slowly, Kate allowed herself to be lifted up by her writer. He placed an arm firmly around her waist and guided her into her room where she willingly relaxed into the sheets of her bed.

"I'm still mad at you." Kate started; closing her eyes and feeling the world spin around her as she did. She hated this feeling… she just wanted it to end. "But, can you stay with me tonight? I don't want to feel so alone."

Rick succumbed to her wishes. "As long as you don't hit me in the morning." He chuckled, sliding into her bed with ease.

"Promise." She slurred as she began to doze off. Rick reached out and lovingly stroked her cheek. Despite tonight's act, he understood her anger and frustration.

Kate woke up to the harsh pounding of her head and the comforting feeling of a man's arms—wait… she stiffened, realizing the last of her thoughts. A man's arms. She squeezed her eyes shut, remembering the fourth glass of scotch she downed in her conquest to numb her pain.

No, no, no. She willed for this not to be happening. She was furious with Rick, so god damn furious but she still wasn't sure what she was going to do about their relationship. No matter what, he didn't deserve this.

He's going to hate me. She thought, as she slowly slid out of her bed. As the sheets moved off of her, she realized something. I'm still clothed!

Amazed at the realization, she slowly turned her head around to check who the man lying in her bed was. A wave of relief washed over her as she realized that Rick was the one sleeping opposite her.

That wave of relief, however, was quickly replaced by anger. Grabbing a pillow, she hit Rick across the head (admittedly not that hard) and jerked him awake.

"Wha—" He started, rubbing his eyes in a way that, at a time that wasn't now, Kate would have found adorable.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" She asked, grabbing her head from the pain that her outburst had caused.

"Okay, wait. Let me…" He sat up, clearly trying to wake himself before speaking. "I came here to stop yourself from drinking yourself into alcohol poisoning!"

"I was fine!" She protested, appalled. "Besides, what I do is no longer your concern. I thought I had made that abundantly clear."

"Sorry I worry about my girlfriend when she answers the phone piss drunk and hardly coherent!" He exclaimed.

"I appreciate the concern, but it is unneeded. Now, I'd appreciate it if you left me alone." She moved away.

"Wait, Kate. Just let me explain." He paused, hoping she would turn around and rejoicing when she did. "You know I love you." He started.

"You think that's an excuse?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Yes, actually, I do. I will be damned if I love someone more than life itself and I am able to sit back and watch her as she quite literally throws her life away. This past week with you, Kate, it's been amazing. Next to a select few other moments, it tops as the best of my life. You make me happier than any woman has ever been able to, and you can no longer deny that I have that power over you as well." He looked her in the eye, willing her to see reason. "I don't understand how you are willing to give that all away in pursuit of this mission that is doomed to failure."

Kate flinched at his words. "How can you ask me to walk away from her case like that? If you really love me—" Rick interrupted her there.

"Don't even finish that sentence. Don't you dare even insinuate that I don't want what is best for you. I care more about your well being than anyone else other than one person I can name and that other person is the woman who's revenge you are killing yourself for." He reached for her hand, stroking it gently and pulling her forward. "She wouldn't want this for you."

"You didn't know her!" She exclaimed.

"Yes, but I know you! I know you well enough to know that you took every single good quality about your mom and infused it so deep into yourself that no matter what, it could never be touched. I know you, Kate and God forbid it had been you who was murdered in that alley, I know you wouldn't have wanted your mother to give away her life to avenge yours. Please, just understand. I want you to be happy, I want you to be driven, but most of all, I want you to be alive."

Kate let the tears she had been holding back fall. Slowly, she let go of his hand and grasped him in a hug that overwhelmed the both of them. Yes, she was furious. She was more furious than she had been in a long time. But how could she sit here and let this beautiful, wonderful man beg her to stay alive.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered. Holding him, moving her lips to gently press against his. "Rick, I'm so sorry. I'm done, okay?" She stroked her fingers through his hair, reveling in the feeling of his lips pressing desperate kisses against her neck. "All I want is you."

…and the rest is canon!

Thank you so much