Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. There may be new characters created of which will be mine!

A/N: This story will be written in Edward's POV unless otherwise stated! Hope you enjoy.

Chapter One

Darkness

My legs couldn't carry me as fast as I had wanted them to. I knew I was going at the fastest speed I was capable of, but my legs, my legs felt like concrete holding me to the ground. My mind was racing with memories of the days that had destroyed me. I had to sacrifice myself, my happiness, to protect my Bella. My mind wandered as I was running, hunting, tracking. The visions of Bella in the forest wouldn't leave my mind. I could feel my dead heart ripping from my chest as I walked away. I hated myself for every word I had spoke to my Bella. Watching the pain behind her eyes, stopping her from touching me when she reached out to me, I hated myself. I had never wanted to bring her so much hurt, but it was the only way. I couldn't exist anymore, not to Bella. My love for her, the feelings I had felt for her, had put her into so much danger. Too much danger. Too many times.

I had been trying for days to rid myself of the guilt, the pain I had caused. My mind, my immortal mind, had so many thoughts to focus on. All of those thoughts were surrounding my Bella. I could no longer call her my Bella. I had given up that privilege. I could no longer be her protector. I wasn't her protector. I was her death sentence. Images of James, Victoria on the hunt for her. Images of that fateful night of my Bella's birthday party. It had been my fault. I had brought her, a helpless little human into our home full of vampires. She had had a simple finger cut, a cut that wouldn't have been any issue if she had been with anyone other than me. I had sent my brother flailing across the room, pushing my Bella away, causing more damage when she came crashing down. I was not safe for her. I had to leave. We had to leave. I couldn't continue to expose Bella like this. I loved her too much. It was far to selfish of me to stay with her. I couldn't do that to her. Bella Swan deserved to live a life, a long life, to graduate and go to college, to have a career, to maybe someday be a mother. If Bella was with me, she wouldn't be able to do all of those things and live a normal life. There was nothing normal in my existence. Nothing was normal as an immortal.

I could smell the mountain lion as the wind blew it's scent in my direction. My heart was not in the hunt. I found myself trying to allow my instincts to take over but nothing. I slumped against the tree whose limb I was dangling high above the ground from. I watched as the mountain lion sauntered below me, looking for its own prey. The thoughts of the night I almost caused my love to lose her life were blaring in my head. I could hear Jasper's thoughts. He was giving himself over. It had been harder for him than any of us to abstain and even with knowing that, I had brought Bella into our home. I cursed myself for Bella and for Jasper. I was angry with him, willing to destroy my brother to protect my Bella. I cursed myself for it. I had brought Bella into our home, surrounded her by us monsters, knowing that it was a risk. I had taken the risk. Her simple cut almost led to her demise and even though I wanted to hate Jasper for it, I knew it wasn't his fault. I had taken Bella home, already sure of my course. I knew what I had to do, what my family had to do. I would suffer, sacrifice my happiness to protect those I loved. We had to leave. Immediately.

When I arrived back home, Carlisle and Esme greeted me as they had been waiting at the door. Alice had known I would be returning rather quickly that night, but it would be brief as I would return back to Bella. I had wanted to go up to Bella's room, stay with her as she wanted, as we had become accustomed to, wait until the morning to begin my discussion with my family. I even had wanted to tell her no at the same time. I agreed to go after I saw her eyes, pleading. I would have to sneak away momentarily. I needed to talk to my family. I knew what I had to do. It was for the best that I began to break the ties that held us together. Carlisle and Esme embraced me as soon as I arrived. "Carlisle, Esme," my voice cracked with agony. I knew they could hear the pain in my voice as I watched my mother's face crumble. She loved it here in Forks, loved Bella, but she knew what was coming. Alice had seen what my course of action would be. "We must…" I was unable to finish my sentence.

Carlisle pulled away, leaving his hand on my shoulder to reassure me. "Edward, we are your family, we will do whatever you decide," he spoke. "Alice told us of the vision she saw." Edward, son, are you sure this is the right decision? Can you leave? Can you live without Bella? I knew these words were something he didn't want to share, not in front of my dear mother. Esme wouldn't be able to handle the truth.

I looked at Carlisle, staring into his eyes. I could give him no answer. I could not even attempt a simple gesture as Esme would see it. But I didn't have to send a gesture to Carlisle. He knew me too well. He had created me in this life. I watched as his eyes fought back the pain, Carlisle wouldn't want to me to know how I was hurting him. Esme took my hand in her hand. She squeezed. The smile on her face was obviously forced. "We are a family, Edward, and we will be there to help you," she spoke. Dear Esme was trying hard to keep a good front for me. I knew it was tearing her apart inside, knowing what was about to approach.

"Jasper?" I asked. I knew if I listened, quit blocking the thoughts I was hearing, then I would know where Jasper was. I was trying hard not to hear his thoughts. I didn't know if I could bear it.

Carlisle glanced to Esme then back to me. "Jasper is upstairs. He wont let anyone in to the room. Not even Alice has ventured in there. She is with Emmett and Rose in the study," he answered.

I nodded my head as if to let him know I understood and I made my way upstairs. I knew I needed to speak with all of my siblings, especially Jasper. I walked in to where Emmett and Rosalie and Alice were sitting. All of them were quiet, not moving. Their statue poses would have fooled most. They looked like mannequins on display. Not blinking, not breathing, just staring into the distance. "Edward," Alice spoke softly, standing away from her chair. She came over to me, throwing her arms around me. I could tell that if we weren't so unchanging, so immortal, Alice have been in a fit of tears. "I'm sorry. Jasper is sorry. I know it. I saw…"

I hugged Alice. Alice was the only of my siblings that truly knew all the feelings I felt for Bella. I had been more honest with her than with the others, than with myself, about how I felt early on about Bella. Her persistence, her visions had made it more than impossible for me to continue staying away from her. I watched in Alice's mind the vision that she had while I was taking Bella home. I saw myself telling Bella that I wouldn't be staying and that she couldn't go with me. The others had left already. We will be fine, Edward, I saw it. But do you really not want me to keep a watch for Bella's future? Alice thought to me.

I nodded slightly, saying nothing. I didn't want Alice to watch Bella, I didn't want Bella's life to be complicated. If I didn't exist to her, the least I could do was to try and not live my existence obsessed. I had to do the same for her that I was going to insist she do for me. "So this is it?" Emmett asked. I could feel, hear the distaste in his words. Emmett had grown to love Bella as a little sister. He didn't want to leave. Forks was the one place we could somewhat live a normal life and because of me they were going to have to leave it behind. "The end of the road."

"Emmett, I'm sorry," I said. "Its my fault. I know you liked it hear." I looked to Rosalie. I could see the anger building in her. She wasn't thinking anything too loud, was controlling her thoughts around me. "Rose, I'm sor…"

Rosalie held up one hand, cutting off my sentence. "Please, Edward, I don't want to hear your apologies," she croaked at me. I knew she hadn't liked the idea of my being with Bella, she had hated me for it. She had been jealous, worried all at the same time. She was jealous I would choose a human over her, worried that I would expose our family as to what we are, bring down wrath upon us. "And don't try to read my thoughts, its not what you think." Her voice was full of disgust.

I grew angrier at Rosalie than I had thought I would. "Rosalie, please do not start tonight, not tonight of all nights."

Emmett looked up to me and the look on his face was one I had never saw. Rosalie stood. "Edward, you risked her life! I may not agree with the relationship that you have chosen to have with a human, risking all of us, but you risked her!" Rosalie's words shocked me. I had known she would be angry over the risk I had exposed us to, outing us to what we are, but Bella's life. "Our family protects, preserves human life, and you brought Bella here knowing that simple incident couldn't ruin it for all, for everybody. And now, because of your selfish ways, we all have to leave Forks, a place we enjoy being, where we can somewhat be normal. All because Jasper cant control himself around the humans! All of this is your fault, Edward! I don't blame Jasper, I blame you! You almost caused Jasper to kill Bella. If you hadn't insisted on dating a human, bringing her around here, we could have avoided all of this!"

Rosalie's words hurt to the core. The words stung, making every part of me break. Rosalie was right. It was all my fault. I wanted so bad to blame Jasper for lacking the control the rest of us possess, but how could I? I knew our nature, I knew Bella's smell. I was the tempter, the greatest of all. I was a terrible monster. I had brought Bella around our family, knowing the draw her blood could bring. I had caused all of this. It was too late to undo anything, but maybe, possibly, I could fix it, save us, save Bella. I watched Rosalie and Emmett stalk out the door. Rosalie being upset with me didn't bother me. I had grown use to that over the course of my relationship with Bella. Rosalie and her tenacity. I sighed and looked to Alice, who nodded once again. I hadn't had to ask. I knew she had already seen it.

I crept at human pace down the hallway to Jasper's room. Well, to the room he shares with Alice. I knocked ever so lightly. "Jasper, can I come in?" I asked.

I could hear Jasper's thoughts, feel his emotions. I felt a surge of panic, anger with himself. His thoughts were all over. "Sure," he responded.

I opened the door and went inside. I shut the door behind me, knowing that it was useless as the others would hear our conversation anyway. I thought with the door shut, it would make it easier on the both of us. If one of the others passed, at least we wouldn't have an audience. "Jasper, don't be upset with yourself. I'm not," I said. "Not anymore."

My mind was telling me to deny any animosity that I had felt, but knowing Jasper, he would know and would want the truth anyway. Jasper was sitting on a sofa, head in his hands, facing the window. He finally turned to look at me, doing so slowly. He looked to me, his eyes darkened from thirst. "Edward, I didn't mean to," he started explaining. "I tried terribly hard to deny it. I smell their scents all the time, and I want them. My throat is always aflame. Usually I can just think of Alice, my life with Alice, and I can overcome it. But when I smelled the fresh blood…"

I had heard his thoughts when he was on the attack. I had even felt his thirst, coupled with my own. I knew that he too would have felt both of them. I had known what it was like. But for Jasper, he wasn't in love with Bella and giving to his instincts wouldn't have had the same consequence as it would have for me. I could fight the scent, the thirst, because of the love I feel for her. The same love I would use to walk away. I would have to walk away because of my love for her. "Jas, I know, I know," I tried to reassure him. Carlisle had known I would be the only one Jasper wouldn't listen to. "Its not your fault, Jasper. Its not your fault what we are, what our instincts are. Its all my fault and I don't want you to blame yourself anymore."

Jasper looked at me, his voice deepened. "No, Edward, it is not your fault. Its nobody but my own. Look at Carlisle. He can be exposed to blood, he is everyday that he works in the emergency room. He refrains every day. And, me, I couldn't this one time. If you hadn't been there…Its not your fault, Edward. It was you who stopped me."

I could hear the desperation in my brother's voice. He didn't want me to blame myself for something that weighed so heavily on his conscience. But still, it weighed on mine too. The guilt was apparent as I watched Jasper shift. "It is, Jasper. I exposed Bella to us. She wouldn't have been here if I could have made myself stay away from her. If I could have not been so selfish, wanting her to be mine. It is my fault, Jasper."

Jasper shifted, "No, Edward. I will not allow you to blame yourself for my actions." I shrugged my shoulders. I wouldn't argue with him, not with the state he was in. There wasn't any use to argue. I knew that Jasper and I would be feeling the same feelings regardless. He as a result of his emotion gift, myself because of my mind-reading. We would have to learn to deal with it. "This is not your fault. I feel terrible. And I heard the others talking. Are you sure?"

I knew, I heard Jasper's thoughts. He didn't want to state the obvious. He didn't have to. "I don't see any other way. I cant give Bella a normal life. I had thought I could protect her, but I cant. I cant protect her from what we are. Its not safe for her, and its not safe for us. I cant be selfish. We have to leave, Jasper. Its truly the only way." Jasper's eyes moved to the floor. I felt sadness, grief overcome me. "Jasper, its not your fault. Regardless, we would have to leave in a couple more years anyway. We can't keep the façade up forever in one place. Its time to move on. Its best to do so now."

The knock at the door came. Edward, I see Bella waking soon. Can I at least tell her goodbye and can I come in now? Jasper looked up to me. "Yes, Alice, you can come in now," he spoke.

I shook my head, denying Alice the chance to speak with Bella. This was the only way. We needed to just leave. The sooner the better and without all the formalities. I would speak to Bella and tell her goodbye.

My thoughts snapped back into the present at the sound of the mountain lion moving. I had only been distracted from the present for less than thirty seconds, the memories flooding back faster than I had wanted or would have cared for. The flames lit my throat. I had done little of anything in the couple weeks since leaving Forks, rarely venturing out for anything, even hunting. I felt the struggle beneath me as I landed on the mountain lion, my teeth over the precise point on the cat's neck. I needed a plan. I needed to do something to take Bella from my mind. Did a plan as such even exist and even be possible? I would have to try. I had to for my sake and for Bella's. I would have to protect her the only way I knew how now. I had to pretend she didn't exist, just as it would be for her. Did she feel like I hadn't existed now? Had my love, my reason I existed, forget me yet? The unending darkness of my existence had begun. I couldn't imagine ever seeing the daylight I once did when I held my love in my arms. With that thought, I hoisted myself and ran deep into the forest, bounding nowhere, somewhere.