When I saw the signs, I shoulda let you go
But I kept you beside me
And if I held you back, at least I held you close
I know things will never be the same
Time we lost will never be replaced
So don't be scared to live again

Scared to Live – The Weeknd

Chapter 55: Tell Me Lies

Lexi

I could hear Seth down the hall, the telltale rustling of fabric giving his fidgeting away. He had asked Alice if she was sure about this ever since she'd presented his tux to him earlier in the day. She'd shushed him, quickly urging him to just try it. He'd been giving her one good natured sigh after another as she helped him get prepared. I met Rosalie's eyes in the mirror and we both tried not to smirk. We both knew how much Alice just wanted Seth to shut up and wear the tux so that she could flit away and do what she really lived to – decorate.

"She loves to create a spectacle," Rosalie muttered as she wrapped a strand of my hair around the iron. "If he's smart, he'll let her dress him and be on her way."

I bit my lip as she released a curl from the wand, her slim fingers arranging it just right.

"I think….this is finished. There!" she touched my shoulders after finishing her work with a light mist of finishing hair spray. That was the one good thing about this whole vampire thing – my hair behaved a hundred times better than it had when I was a human. The humidity barely even bothered it. For the occasion, she'd styled it in voluminous, relaxed curls that shone in the bathroom light.

Something crashed downstairs, and I heard Esme bite back a curse word in the kitchen. I heard Quil's laugh join Seth's, and once again Rosalie met my eyes in the mirror. "Think you can get your dress on without me? I'm gonna go downstairs," she ended with a stout growl.

"I'm fine. Go see what…or who…got broken."

She nodded and offered me a pained smile before darting away. Leaning forward, I surveyed myself in Rosalie's lit mirror at the makeup table. I looked flawless – hair styled perfectly, makeup fresh and edgy, and long, crystal earrings in my ears as I sat in the silk robe in Rosalie's room. The dress we'd found in Bella's cottage closet was unworn and she claimed it suited me far better than it ever had her – the strapless, vibrant violet gown faded into a deep, rich purple that complimented my pale skin and silvery blonde hair perfectly. My eyes had turned so golden that even my vampire vision failed to find even a trace of the eerie blood red of my newborn eyes. I looked good when I tried it on.

I just wished I felt good.

Sliding the sleek little phone over the bathroom counter, I read the text messages from Brady I'd received earlier that day for what felt like the millionth time.

Did Rosalie come by to see u?

Of course I knew she had. She'd told me. And then I'd begged her for every last detail of her visit, shamelessly hanging on every word she'd said about it. She told me their conversation and rolled her eyes before referring to him as a 'wurp with a horrid, cantankerous manner about him.' I'd almost cracked a smile at what I'd dubbed another one of her 'vintage insults' – I never ceased to be amused at the vocabulary of my new family and how it reflected their histories and the eras in which they'd been human. I'd been utterly horrified the first time Emmett had referred to her as a 'hot tomato', but she'd explained to me later.

I chuckled to myself as my stomach seemed to gurgle with nerves. Impossible, I knew, but I still sometimes though I felt phantom feelings of being human.

Yes, she was here

Oh. Are u going to come tonight?

He'd been silent for almost an hour. I'd lost all hope when the phone had finally buzzed, startling me so much I'd nearly crushed it in my grasp.

I don't knw

The three little words on the screen left me crushed. How did he not know? Didn't he know that I wanted to see him? Of course I did. I missed him, and as stupid as I felt for putting myself out there so much, I needed to see him. After all of my time away, I needed to know that he was okay. Whole.

It would mean a lot to me if u came.

I want to talk to you Brady. I have something to tell u.

Please

My last three texts stared back at me. I couldn't even let myself care that they sounded pleading and pathetic. It didn't matter to me how I looked anymore, or who won this battle of wills that had somehow started between us. I didn't want to live without him in my life anymore. It hurt too much to not even be friends. Placing the phone on the table, I stood and went to the closet. Esme had been kind enough to steam the gown earlier that day, and it looked stunning. I could only hope I'd do it enough justice for pictures with Regan and Claire. Of course they wouldn't be able to take any with me or anyone in the family in them – it would be impossible to explain those to anyone, but I knew Rosalie would snap a few I could keep.

Once dressed, I twirled in front of one of Rosalie's many mirrors and smoothed the gown into place. A knock on the door made me turn.

"Yes?"

Emmett's dark head popped in, a sheepish look. "Can I escort you downstairs?"

My face broke into a grin – I couldn't help it. Emmett never ceased to make me smile, no matter what I was going through. He was still more like a big brother to me, but I knew he thought of me as the daughter he'd never have and I didn't mind one bit.

"You look killer," he joked, ducking his head as he led me downstairs. I elbowed him, making him squawk. I was so thankful for Emmett – I needed to tell him. While Rosalie had taught me control, poise, and how to get through this existence, Emmett had done so much to show me how to live it. Unlike some of my other adopted family members, Emmett wasn't particularly upset about being a vampire. Of course he maybe had once, but he, like Alice and Bella, seemed to thrive in it. The rest of my family could sometimes speak of our life with less than kind regard, but those three had embraced their vampire lives. On more than one occasion Emmett had urged me to shake off propriety and enjoy my vampiric talents. He'd taught me to fight, he'd urged me to make hunting more of a challenge, and he'd shown me that there was nothing wrong with just stepping back and having fun.

Once we reached the bottom of the steps, he turned to face me, his expression warm. His golden eyes sparked like they did before he said something that would earn him a groan of disapproval from Rosalie.

"That joker of yours coming tonight or what?"

I laughed. "He isn't…we're just…." I fumbled for the words, but stopped when I knew Emmett didn't expect me to come up with a label.

"Alright, alright," he chuckled. "Whatever he is, is he coming tonight?"

Shrugging, I took another glance at my phone before slipping it back into the jeweled clutch Alice had loaned me. "I asked him to, but…"

Emmett nodded, his eyes shifting to speculative. "You sure there isn't anyone else you'd rather have here? Cuz I can call him. Pretty sure he'd show up."

I shook my head, knowing he was referring to Fred. "Fred and I are just friends, Emmett. We talked it through and we're in a good place. I couldn't give him what he wanted, we just-"

He held up a hand. "No reason to explain it. When I first laid eyes on Rose that was it for me. We're a 'forever' kinda group, ya know? We have what we hope is endless time with that person, so don't make nothing into something just to not be lonely. That's a long time to be unfair to someone."

I mulled his words in my head as Fred's kind, pensive face appeared. He'd been crushed when I finally admitted I wanted to just be friends with him. Never one to be rude or callous, he'd accepted my rejection of his offer to be my mate with a gentlemanly grace that reminded me of Carlisle. We'd parted ways as friends but I knew I'd hurt him. I wasn't sure I'd ever be okay with that.

"That's why I did it…I didn't feel for him what I felt for…" I trailed off, shrugging again. It still felt wrong to utter his name while things with Fred were so…fragile. I'd hurt him with my confession that I didn't see him as more than a friend and I hated that I had. I didn't want to be responsible for anyone's pain, especially Fred's. Shy, thoughtful, and kind, he wasn't someone to take risks. As difficult as it had been, I couldn't force feelings for him. Especially when I knew what things could feel like. My mind drifted back to Brady and the undeniable spark I'd felt that night on the beach when we'd met. I'd hated the idea of him but couldn't deny the attraction and pull towards him. I just didn't feel that way for Fred, and I thought too highly of him to force it.

"You gotta good head on your shoulders, you know that kid?"

I smiled. "If I really did, don't you think I'd be able to get over, you know?"

He shrugged. "It's not like you guys ever broke up. You didn't get any closure." He sighed, looking around the elegantly decorated foyer. "So you invited him and he might show, he might not. Either way, don't let him ruin your night. Have a kick ass prom. We won't have one until we move again, and that could be a few years away yet," he added softly, dipping his head to catch my gaze. I caught the warning in his kind words – we wouldn't be able to remain in Forks much longer. The risk of being discovered was too great and it was dangerous that we were here to begin with.

"Sometimes living well is the best way to make someone jealous."

"That sounds like something Rosalie would say."

"Where do you think I learned it?"

"You're crazy about each other," I laughed.

He shook his head. "When I was first turned, I was too hot on getting fed. Couldn't pay that damn any attention. Well, she made me pay alright. Let's just say it didn't take me long to come around. I knew a girl like that didn't come a knockin every day. He smirked. "But that's a story for another day."

"I can't make him jealous…I don't want to do that…" I admitted.

"Maybe not, but it would certainly make him sorry. I'm just saying have a good time, yeah?"

"Yeah, I will. Promise."

"Save me a dance, kid," he bumped my shoulder and made his way over to where he'd set up his speakers and laptop. He would be our voluntary DJ for the evening. I had to hand it to Alice – everyone always talked about her ability to throw together a party, but I'd always known she was so much more than a shopaholic, party planner. However, this was….over the top. She had a gift. A vision, I giggled to myself. Music was already playing softly in the background, something mid-tempo and upbeat as she flitted around the room hanging one last strand of twinkle lights. Edward's grand piano room had been emptied (How on earth had they moved a piano?!) and it had been transformed into a mini-dance hall. The white walls and shiny marble floors shone beneath the swanky looking globes of light that hung from the ceiling, slowly fading into different colors every few moments. Three small tables, draped in white, stood set up along the tall windows overlooking the backyard. I stood against the window, staring out into the black forest beyond the lights of the house. Would he come? My last texts to him sounded so desperate and so unlike me, but I couldn't deny the aching I felt in my chest when I thought about Brady.

Maybe our imprint bond was dead, but I could no longer refute that I missed him. I missed his touch, his smell, his chaotic ways, and the cocky tone of his voice. I missed him.

It didn't matter to me that we were two different species destined to hate and hunt each other. It didn't matter that my world had fallen apart and been taken from me. I didn't care that I should let him go and let him live a normal life. I'd told myself dozens of times that I shouldn't interfere with his life anymore, to let it go.

I'd tried to walk away, but I just couldn't.

Quil's grumbling broke my thoughts, and my instincts were on high alert as he stomped into the room. His eyes quickly scanned the room, surprise clearly written on his features as he took in the space. Meeting my eyes, he gave me a solemn nod before fiddling again with his tie. The light clacking of Rosalie's heels on the marble floors almost made me laugh; she followed closely behind him, reaching for his tie.

"I already did it twice-"

"-It's choking me!"

"But it looks great! Just stop…"

Her efforts to help him were clearly in vain. I'd seen Rosalie tie a tie before, and the haphazardly knotted thing around his neck was clearly not her handiwork. A snort escaped my mouth as he waved her off again.

"I still don't understand why you need to be here, helping me…"

"Because Lexi is still in her newborn year. There will be two human girls here tonight and I want to be here for her in case she's tempted, that's why," Rosalie snapped. "Besides….if anyone has a chance at restraining a semi-newborn vampire, it's my husband."

I ignored the brief jab of pain as it sliced through me. I couldn't imagine murdering my best friends for a meal, but she was right. I didn't fully understand my body or its urges yet and it was better to be safe than sorry.

Emmett walked up behind her as she re-tied Quil's tie, a amused smile on his face. "Imagine, me as the chaperone. Crazy, right?"

"Yes dear," she patted his stocky shoulder, "You are so much more used to being the cautionary tale!"

Emmett just coughed a laugh into his hand as Rosalie threw up her hands and stalked off to find something else to 'fix'.

Quil made a face as Emmett laughed at his own joke, his wide shoulders shaking with very un-manly giggles. I rolled my eyes and tried to calm myself as I prepared to wait this out.

Seth walked in, and I could tell by the smirk on his lips that he'd heard the whole exchange. He shared a mirthful look with me as he walked into the room looking dapper in his own suit. Something about their dark hair and coppery skin made the sharp white and black of their suites look extra debonair. He tossed Quil a reproachful look.

"Just give it a rest. They wanted to do this for us so that we could have one night. Remember last year? Bitching and moaning in the bushes?"

Quil responded with a wolf-like growl, but didn't argue. Seth met my eyes and I had to laugh silently to myself. He made his way over and beamed at me, his mood shifting like the drop of a hat. Then in a move that showed his never-wavering faith in my kind, leaned over and gave me a lose hug.

"So, um…how do I look?" I asked, suddenly self-conscious. I smoothed down the purple and violet gown, swallowing my nervousness.

Seth gave a whistle. "You look like a million bucks. You're sure you're wanting mangy old Brady as your date?"

I looked away, suddenly shy. What if I looked too much like a freak for him? Of course he'd seen me briefly since my change, but I wasn't ignorant to the changes in my appearance. I didn't look alien, but I didn't look human either. "I hope so. I texted him and asked him to come here tonight. Just as friends, but…I wanted to talk to him. It's been awhile."

"He'd be silly not to come, Lex. Seriously, you look great," he offered, walking closer to grasp my hands. We both jumped slightly at the contact, but Seth brushed it off and simply offered me one of his heart-stoppingly beautiful smiles. Shit, I was nervous. "You look beautiful. Really. Brady would be a fool to…well, he at least needs to talk to you."

"I know. I invited him here just to see…. well, if he would even entertain the idea of being friends. I mean…I know I've changed, but I still….have lingering feelings."

That felt weird to admit, but at the same time relief surged through me to say it out loud.

"I'm sure he does too. Regardless, you guess need to chat. He'll be here Lex, don't worry."

"I hope so. All I do these days is think. And hunt. But mostly think."

He squeezed my hands again. "You'll do fine. Just don't eat my date," he snickered.

I burst out laughing at that, shaking my head. "Well, Rose and Em took me on a hunt earlier today, and I pretty much gorged myself. I've been out in public a few times since we got back, and I didn't kill anyone then. Besides…make sure you get enough wolf sink on your girl, and I won't want to touch her anyway," I winked at him. He chuckled again, releasing my hands.

"Deal."

My head jerked towards the driveway as three heartbeats suddenly came into my range of hearing. One normal, two frantically beating with excitement. The normal one would be the driver, and the two excitable ones would be Regan and Clare. They were clearly looking forward to the evening.

"Deep breath," Esme whispered, giving me a reassuring grin. "Take it one second at a time."

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I reassured her. "Just…excited."

The entire Cullen family was dressed to the nines and ready for the evening to start. Quil and Seth waited upstairs, dutifully patient and excited themselves for the night to start. Pictures, then dinner, then dancing were all planned to give Regan and Claire a normal of a prom experience as was possible. The car pulled up and stopped, two pairs of heels hitting the driveway. Esme raced to the front door with vampire speed, only to calmly open it with a dazzling smile and a warm, "Welcome!"

My friends entered the house, their eyes immediately going large at the sight of all the Cullens standing in the foyer, dressed impeccably and looking more like they were going to some grand ball rather than a simple dance. Claire spotted me and dashed to my side, barely pausing before pulling me into a forceful hug, even for a human girl. She barely flinched at my skin as she embraced me. I held my breath and remembered to touch her like I would a butterfly wing –barely at all.

"You…look…AMAZING!" she gasped, standing back to take me in.

I smiled, carefully covering my teeth with my glossy lips. "Thank you."

"I missed you," she whispered into my neck, hugging me like her life depended on it.

"I missed you too," I whispered back, gently releasing her. She beamed at me before grasping Regan's hand.

"We're back together, finally"," she gasped, her voice already tight as if she was going to cry. I laughed and released the breath I'd been holding, barely noticing the burn in the back of my throat. Their heartbeats were positively pounding but I tried my best not to notice and smile instead.

Where Regan had carefully wanted to ease back into things, Claire jumped in, full speed ahead, right there in the foyer.

"What happened with Brady? Where is he? Is he coming tonight? He's been such an ass lately, I swear-"

"Claire!" Regan gasped, lightly slapping her arm. "Don't."

"It's fine," I assured her. "I invited him, but…"

Claire's angelic face instantly turned stormy. "Oh, he'd better come or I'll pummel his ass, wolf or n-"

She stopped as Quil appeared at the top of the stairs. My vengeance forgotten she let out a squeal of approval and flew towards him. I laughed as Claire practically launched herself at Quil, her excitement palpable. He lifted her into a tight hug, burying his face into her long, perfectly curled locks. He was scenting her, I realized. My heart fell slightly as I pictured Brady doing that to me – surely his lungs would burn and his body would threaten to phase as the scent of vampire filled his nose, fueling his body into a rage-

"Time for pictures!" Alice trilled, interrupting my thoughts.

Once outside, Esme and Alice arranged all of us for pictures, snapping away. I stepped to the side when it was time to use Claire's camera, but she understood. Rosalie had gotten one of the three of us together again, and I'd even held my breath and clenched my teeth long enough to have Regan and Claire squish in beside me for a selfie style picture of all three of us. The fresh air made it easier, but my lungs still burned anytime they got too close. Turning away towards the forest, I let my pain show for a moment as I silently wished for the dry, aching burn to go away, even just for a few hours. But even I knew that was a futile wish. My throat would always burn because I didn't hunt humans and that was a choice I'd made. I didn't want to be a murderer, so I'd damned myself to an eternity of an aching throat. My friends were doing pictures with their dates as I gripped the back deck railing, trying to avoid getting emotional about everything. Between the discomfort around humans and the idea that I was a very noticeable outsider and third wheel, my newborn like emotions were getting the better of me. Damn it, I thought. I'd wanted tonight to be fun.

"This is a hundred times better than last year," Claire sighed happily, posing for another picture with Quil.

I still had my back turned to the group when I heard Edward speak, his voice low. He must have heard Seth's questioning thoughts about me.

"She's fine. She's more worried about Brady than a meal."

I closed my eyes in misery. The night had barely started and I wished everyone would just forget about Brady and try to help me cope. Behind my eyelids, I struggled to conjure up the memory from last year's Prom. Had Brady gotten a tux? Or just a nice shirt? I couldn't even remember what he'd worn that night he'd crashed the Prom. Pain laced through my chest as I fought to remember the tiny details of that night. That was the night he'd started chipping away at my steady resolve to hate him and it hurt that I could barely even picture it anymore.

A tiny spring breeze blew across the deck, bringing with it a familiar scent. Brady. My face twisted in pain as I opened my eyes and gripped the railing. Was this something from a memory? I was drawn from my silent torture as I realized all conversation on the deck had halted. My head whipped around to follow their gazes.

There, at the edge of the yard, stood Brady.

A ragged breath left my lungs as my eyes widened, staring at him. Someone coughed awkwardly behind me, but I didn't hear it. I didn't hear the stuttering human heartbeats, the birds in the trees, the whispers of my family…..

Everything else faded away. It was like that first night on the beach all over again. No sounds, no distractions, just him. He stared at me, unblinking from across the yard. Slowly, he put one foot in front of the other as he made his way over the wet grass. The silence continued as he crossed the yard and made his way up onto the deck.

He was in defensive mode; I could tell he was ready for whatever came at him. I gripped the railing of the deck with one hand and stared at him as he scanned the scene before him. Rosalie growled under her breath, but I could tell it was more annoyance than aggression; I heard the slap of a hand as money was pressed into someone's palm with a snort. Pushing all of that aside, I made myself speak.

"Brady…you…you're here."

He nodded coolly, his eyes returning to mine.

Esme cleared her throat, resuming her role of gracious party host. "Everyone, let's…let's go inside. Dinner should be about ready!" she announced. I heard the shuffling of everyone as they went into the house, Rosalie and Emmett hanging back.

Glancing backwards, I nodded. "I'll be fine."

Rosalie nodded gravely, but Emmett gave a rather vampiric glare in Brady's direction that gave me a tiny smile. Their support didn't change things, but it gave me hope.

The door to the deck closed with a soft click, and then we were alone. I looked back to Brady and suddenly didn't know what to say. I'd had weeks and months and countless hours to think about what I'd say to him in this moment, but my tongue was inexplicably stuck.

"You wanted to talk? Let's talk," he muttered, nodding his head in the direction of the forest. "Don't need a stinking audience."

My feet moved to follow him before my mind even really comprehended what was happening. I hastily chucked my heels into the deck before I followed him down the steps and back through the wet grass. He wove through the ferns at the edge of the yard, heading through the trees and down to the river. The bubbling water flowing over rocks was enough to mask our voices from anyone inside, I suddenly realized. He didn't look happy to be there, but I was silently grateful for the tiny gesture.

Brady jammed his hands into his pockets, and I suddenly snapped out of my stupor and really looked at him. He was thinner than he'd been the last time I'd seen him – his body was still large and muscled, but he'd lost some weight. The white, wrinkled dress shirt he wore hung a little too baggily from his frame, and his black dress pants were a little loose. His hair was shorter, as if it had been freshly cut. He'd put enough effort into it to arrange it into the spiky style I'd always known him to have, but it looked different. His skin was no longer the vibrant tan color I'd always loved; instead, it looked slightly sallow like he'd been ill. His eyes, while still intense, seemed dull and listless. They roamed over my face and frame with some interest, but he was clearly guarded.

I took a cleansing breath of the fresh air and swallowed my insecurities. I heard his heart rate increase as he waited to gauge my control. His dark eyes met mine and followed my every move as I took another deep breath and tried to focus.

"Hi."

He swallowed, his striking jawline flexing.

"Hi."

I twisted my hands together nervously, trying to think of something else to say.

"T-thank you," I stuttered, licking my lips. "Thank you for showing up."

He took a deep breath, kicking at a rock by his foot. The river babbled by merrily behind him, oblivious to our discomfort. "Yeah, well….I figured I should."

"Yeah."

"Yeah," he echoed awkwardly. "So you're back?"

"Mmhmm," I nodded. "For a while. I obviously can't stay here, but….I wanted to come back and see you. And…and make sure my dad is-"

"I've been watching over him myself," he interjected quickly, his face softening slightly. A flash of something familiar showed in his expression, and I felt my shoulders relax.

"You have?"

"Every night. We patrol his house and watch him and Patrick. Nothing will touch them, Lexi, I promise you that."

The quiet, gentle resolve in his voice softened my dead heart. I relaxed a little at the idea that Brady had been patrolling around my family and keeping them safe.

I smiled. "Thank you."

He almost smiled back, but sobered, his expression hardening once more. "It's my job."

I nodded. "Of course it is, yeah….um…well I was worried about him. And Patrick…but I can't go near them. Not even to check on them."

He looked at me curiously, so I continued.

"I tried to go back, before we left and…Patrick is my singer. My blood singer. And I think you know what that means…"

He nodded shortly, his jaw clenching. He'd hung around enough vampires to know what that meant for me. He grimaced slightly before straightening his expression.

"It's really not a problem. Like I said…it's my job."

I twisted my hands again and tried to smile.

"So I knew I had to stay away. I couldn't risk hurting someone…"

There was a long, lingering pause as his face searched mine. His eyes were alight with concern and an unspoken question.

"So you haven't…"

"No!" I gasped, answering his silent question. He wanted to know if I'd killed anyone. The one shining beacon of light in this whole mess was that I hadn't. I'd never killed a human and given into my bloodlust.

"That's good," he answered, his voice softer. Gazing down the riverbed for a few moments, his eyes returned to mine. "That's really good of you Lex….I'm glad you haven't…"

I blinked. "You're glad I haven't killed anyone? Because…because if I had, you'd have to kill me, then, wouldn't you?" my voice waivered slightly as I spoke. The hard, horrible truth was out there now. The void between us had never felt more tangible than it suddenly did in that moment.

A jolt of shock crossed his face. Had he not considered that? Had I broken the treaty of our two clans and slain a human, he would have been obligated to come after me. And…rip me to pieces. He'd have to kill me.

"What? No, I….I couldn't…." he swallowed roughly, and I regretted bringing it up but how could I not? How could I not discuss the glaringly obvious source of tension between us?

"I couldn't…I couldn't kill you, Lexi," he finally choked out. His expression was pained as he shook his head. "I could never kill you, not even for that."

"That's what you say now…"

"I wouldn't," his eyes flashed. "And I hate that you think that. No, I….even if you killed someone, I wouldn't come after you. And I wouldn't let any of them come after you either," he practically spat, eyeing the direction of the house. I followed his gaze, my eyebrows raising slightly. To say I was surprised was an understatement.

"You…you wouldn't?"

He gave me a reproachful look. Another long pause. There was obviously something he didn't want to discuss, but he was clearly fighting with himself.

"I know you think that whatever bond we had is long gone and dead, but…Lexi, when did you get back to Forks?"

"Tuesday," I admitted. "What does that have to do with you not murdering me?" I was so confused. What was he getting at? Brady wasn't stupid – he was far from it. No, his dry sense of humor and wit hinted to a person whose mind worked quickly and noticed things others did not. It was one of the things I'd loved most about him.

His shoulder slumped, and he looked away. Hands in his pockets again, he stared down at the water as it rushed by. "Makes sense then," he muttered more to himself than to me. "That's when I woke up."

"Woke? You'd been sleeping?"

"Sort of," he snorted, shaking his head. "I….sorta went off the deep end when you were gone. I couldn't think, I couldn't eat, I got mean, I drank," he added that last hobby darkly, his annoyance palpable. "All I could do is either hunt him, or sleep. Both of those distracted me from being away from you. Time just….slipped by me. It's weird, it…it dragged ad felt like a million years, but somehow I tuned it out," he laughed darkly.

My dead heart lurched at the thought of Brady not taking care of himself in my absence. Of course, where would I have been without the Cullens and their help? Probably in a similar state, wandering around the wilderness with the blood of multiple murders on my hands.

"So what happened?"

"Tuesday," he answered, looking up to me. He took a step closer, and then another. He was a mere six feet from me, close enough to smell his scent clearly and hear his heart beating. My body was aware, but not disgusted. I took a deep breath, testing the scent on my tongue, letting it fill my lungs. The answering burn was familiar, but not as horrible as it had been with Regan and Claire.

"I snapped out of it. Started eating, patrolling," he shrugged. "Living again, I guess. But something was different. I was patrolling with Embry that night and I came across your smell in the woods. It was new, and I knew we'd just barely missed you."

"I hunted…well, I've been hunting a lot," I nodded. "But I still don't understand. What difference do I make in all this?"

His gaze held mine, his face softening again. "Something in me knew when you were back in Forks. Something in me made me get up and start living again. I feel like I'd come back from the dead," he laughed, until I frowned at his reference. "Sorry," he shrugged. "But don't you see?"

"No…" I said slowly.

He sighed in defeat. "I don't think whatever was between us is gone, Lexi. Not completely."

If you haven't read 'Love This Pain', a lot of the last few chapters (and some future ones) are very similar - they're scenes I had been dying to write for years! So, what was going on with Lexi while Seth and Regan were going on and on with all of their drama :)

I was on the fence with this chapter - I hoped I got the dialogue right. I didn't want it to drag on and on because we've been waiting for this scene for awhile, but I"m not sure I'm in love with it yet. LOL. What did you think?