Author's Note:

All standard disclaimers apply. Rated T for sexual themes. If anyone wants me to change it, just let me know and I will be happy to comply. Waahh so please refrain from suing me for I have not a penny to my name!

This is about Lucy and how she hasn't been able to actually tell Gray she loves him yet. It takes a stormy night and remembering a painful memory for her to realize that she no longer has to be afraid of the future. Hope you enjoy! :)

Lucy awoke to the sound of rain. She never was very fond of the rain. To her, the rain represented her sadness in a way that words never could, and on nights like this, she was afraid the darkness in her heart would rear its ugly head and swallow her whole. Of course, it was absurd to think such a thing could happen and she was aware of the fact, but sometimes she was just too tired to keep her smile up and her eyes bright, to laugh with the people around her and at their crazy antics. In truth, she was so terribly sad she cried herself to sleep often more times than not, the trails of hot tears on her cheeks reminding her of what she missed more than anything: love. Of course she was loved by all the members of Fairy Tail, as well as numerous men around the nation of Fiore, but that love was not the particular love she was wishing for.

Lucy ached for the warmth of her mother's love, to once more be able to feel her mother's arms around her and for them to hold her tight as she cried about all her worries. She missed her mother, and her father too, even though they had never been a proper family. It had been years since she had last seen either of them.

Lucy sighed and supposed she was being selfish. Oh, who was she kidding, of course she was being selfish! How could she think like this, as if she was this poor pathetic girl who had lost everything in life and had nothing more to wake up for? She thought of her beloved teammate, Erza, and how the beautiful and fierce woman had grown up a slave. A slave! Erza had escaped from Hell by herself and had carved her place in this world as the feared Titania of Fairy Tail. Lucy's pampered childhood did not even begin to compare to the horrors Erza had faced at such a young age. Lucy should be thankful she was able to know and love her parents at all.

The rain battered the window furiously, almost as if it was screaming at her because of how pathetic she was being tonight. Indeed, pathetic would be one of the best words to describe her state right now. But even still, just because there were people far worse off than she did not mean she wasn't allowed her own sadness every once in a while.

Lucy wiped the sleep from her eyes, only slightly surprised to find that she had been crying while she slept, as she pulled away from the warm arm currently wrapped around her waist. With a quick glance at the clock telling her it was 12:52 in the morning, she carefully and quietly crawled over the lightly snoring form beside her. She sat off the edge of the bed for a moment as she watched the boy sleeping beside her, and she tilted her head to take a long look at him. The dark night seemed to paint his skin a cool blue. Fitting, she thought, since his branch of magic was one that was all based on ice. Brushing the dark hair out of his face, she briefly wondered how he had ever fallen for such a sap like her. Even after knowing all of her secrets, her dreams, and fears, he still wanted to be with her. She stood up and shook her head. What a strange boy he was.

She often awakened in the night, so she missed not a single step in her routine as she silently padded across the dark bedroom. Her blonde hair was tangled and stuck out in every different direction as she attempted to pull it up into a knot, watching herself in the mirror as she did so. Only after her hair was secure did she notice that she was naked, but this was not a surprise to her either.

A cotton robe hung off a hook in the wall and she grabbed it to place over her bare curves. Crossing her arms, Lucy moved over to the window where the rain fought desperately to come in. The fight was not in vain, apparently, since a leak was doing a fine job of soaking the windowsill and all of her various knickknacks that rested upon it. Sighing, she removed each one individually, silently musing at how she was now able to put things near the window without fear of them being crushed by not-so-careful intruders. Natsu had long since stopped climbing in through the window.

She picked up one of her small figurines off the sill and was reminded of the very last time Natsu had burst through that window, giddy as ever, shouting about how he had the perfect job that would pay enough to cover Lucy's rent for that month and the next. He had jumped in, making a mess of things as usual, when he abruptly stopped talking as he took sight of Lucy in a rather compromising position with a certain dark haired ice mage. Natsu had only stood blankly as the pair scrambled to collect their clothes, their flushed faces betraying their activities so blatantly even the ever unobservant Natsu couldn't misunderstand.

And that was it. The game was over.

After months of being so careful, hiding their relationship from their friends and the rest of the guild, the game had come to an end. They were caught, and no amount of well thought out explanations would get them out of this. The entire guild, if not all of Magnolia, would know of this, of them, within hours. Natsu might not have spoken to anyone of this little incident, but the little blue tomcat flying in circles around the dragon slayer's head, Lucy knew, could never be silenced.

"Luuuuuucy, Luuuuuucy!" Happy had yelled while bouncing around. "I knew it, I knew it! It's because Gray gave you a fish, isn't it?"

Lucy's blush had darkened to a shade that rivaled Erza's hair color as she pulled an old white shirt over her exposed breasts. She refused to look at either of the males in her bedroom, afraid she might cry because of how ashamed she was. Of all the people to find her and Gray, why did it have to be Natsu? She had known that he had feelings for her, hell, everyone knew, but she couldn't bear to break his heart and instead had hidden her relationship with the ice mage from everyone. Not that Gray had any qualms about the relationship being hidden, no, he had been the one to suggest it to begin with. Natsu was Gray's best friend, even if they did brawl daily and slung insults back at each other that could make even Cana's toes curl. Gray didn't want to hurt him. He couldn't.

Gray and Lucy both had hoped that the dragon slayer would eventually move on back to Lisanna, for that girl was absolutely in love with him even if he rarely acknowledged her. Lucy risked a glance up towards him. But he and Lisanna weren't meant to be, apparently, if Natsu's darkened features were anything to go by. Gray had by now pulled his pants back on and was a mere foot away from Natsu, looking at him pleadingly, but his friend's eyes were cold and unforgiving. How could they have not known that this plan would backfire?

Natsu looked over at Lucy, who was leaning against the wall for support, tears in her amber eyes. "Natsu, please…" she begged. His eyes moved down to her breasts, and Lucy covered them with her arms in embarrassment, only to realize which shirt she had hastily put on. Oh, god, as if this couldn't get any worse, she was wearing one of Natsu's old shirts that he had left over after sleeping at her apartment one night. He had told her to keep it when she tried to return it, smiling when he said she now had a piece of him she could hug when she missed him. Gods, Lucy was ashamed of herself! Here she was, just having been caught with his best friend for goodness sake, and she was wearing his shirt with nothing under it. How could she? How could she have done this to him? She should have told him about Gray, she should have let Natsu down easily because he deserved as much and she loved him.

Yes, she loved him, but only as if he were her brother. With Gray it was different. Gray was calm, collected. He understood the things Lucy couldn't say aloud, and he made her feel more than alive, as if she was floating with the stars themselves. With Natsu… Well, he was clumsy and reckless, he only ever did what he was supposed to at the last minute possible, and he was so unbearably, obliviously happy, always, always happy. Like a child. That was what it really came down to, that Natsu was still a child, where Gray was a man.

And here she was, right in front of him, comparing them! Lucy put her face in her hands and sobbed. She was so stupid, so careless, and now Natsu would probably never speak to her or Gray again. She could see it in his eyes, the hurt and betrayal so incredibly immense, she wished with all her being that she could fix this somehow, some way, but it was impossible now. He would be so deeply wounded by this forever, and there was nothing Lucy or Gray would ever be able to do to repair the damage done. Team Natsu would be torn apart by this, if Erza didn't tear her and Gray apart first.

"Lucy!" Happy yelled, jarring all three of the humans from their thoughts. "Gray liiiiiiiikes you! He liiiiiiiiiikes you!" Happy suddenly stopped twirling in the air and stuck his paws up to his mouth, a mischievous grin playing upon his face. "Or…" he paused, "does he loooooove you?"

The color drained from her face. This wasn't a subject she and Gray spoke about. Did he love her? These past six months had been of stealing kisses when their teammates weren't looking, soft touches that could pass as friendly gestures of comfort, and, of course, fervent, passionate nights filled with unspoken declarations of love. Yes, Gray loved her. She realized that now. She just hadn't wanted to admit it because she knew she would not be able to say it back to him, she was too scared.

Happy yelped when Natsu grabbed his tail and yanked him down from the air.

"Gray." He flinched when heard his name. Lucy was certain this was one of the most painful moments of his life, being confronted by his best friend. The dragon slayer turned his eyes to the floor and ran a hand through his pink mane.

"Gray," he said again. His next words were barely audible. "Do you love her?"

Lucy swore time froze.

A breeze blew Natsu's vest around his body, but still he did not move his eyes from the carpet below him. Everything was silent, save for the swish of Happy's tail as he moved it through the air impatiently. Seconds passed, maybe even minutes, and just when Lucy began to think they would stay like this forever…

"Yes," was Gray's equally inaudible reply.

Happy looked like he had stars in his eyes. The poor cat was so unbelievably oblivious to Natsu's pain over the situation and was making it even worse when he began flying around in circles again squealing, "Gray loves Luuucy! Gray loves Luuucy!"

Natsu had tears in his eyes when he looked back over at her. Her heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces, she was amazed that none of her spirits had already popped out thinking she was dying. She grasped the wall even tighter, but it was pointless as her legs failed to keep her upright and she fell forward onto the floor, sobbing even harder than before, pounding the ground with her fists as if it could make it all go away. Gray didn't run to her. She knew he wouldn't. This wasn't a heartbreak meant to share.

Happy's squealing stopped, and he sat back down on her desk. "Uhm," the Exceed started, clearly confused. "Lucy, why are you crying? You're supposed to be happy! Aye! Gray loves you!"

She only cried harder.

Gray and Natsu remained motionless as they stared at each other, their eyes mirroring each other's pain. Natsu only shrugged his shoulders sadly. "Well," he had said, "I guess that's it then." He didn't bother giving one of his signature grins as he hopped back out the window, leaving the faintest scent of maple behind.

A strong wind blew the curtains back from the window and Gray's already mussed hair into his face. The ice mage sighed and cracked his knuckles anxiously as he began to freeze and unfreeze the belt he held in his hands. Lucy hadn't even noticed that he'd been holding his belt the entire time. She knew he always felt better when he was doing something with his hands. Having things to do would take his mind off of whatever it was he wanted to escape.

A now horribly confused Happy scratched behind one of his ears and prepared to fly off after Natsu. Before he jumped out of the window he turned around to Gray. "Maybe you should give Lucy a fish. Lucy gets happy when you give her fish!" The cat smiled so widely Lucy couldn't believe his little face didn't crack.

The ice mage let out a little huff of air that she knew was a small laugh. "Sure," he said to the cat. "Happy, go tell Natsu I'm sorry, all right? I didn't want him to find out this way."

"Aye, sir!" And with that, the little blue cat was flying away.

Now sitting up on the floor and no longer sobbing, Lucy had watched him glide out and into Magnolia. It was such a bright, sunny day. With what just happened, how could it not be pouring down rain? Gray's back was turned to her and she heard him mutter something, assuming it was an ice make since she saw a frigid puff of air fade off to the side. He turned around and walked to her, with his hands cupped around a small object, and he crouched down to face her when he was close. She looked up into his blue eyes, and he smiled slightly as he showed her what he had "ice made."

It was a small flying fish made out of ice.

Lucy couldn't help it, she laughed hysterically.

Gray pulled her up off the floor and held her close to him while she both laughed and cried. It took her a long while to settle down, and when she did she wrapped her arms around his muscled form to reassure herself. Gray loved her. Natsu loved her, too. She had to choose one of them eventually and she was a fool for thinking her choice could be hidden forever. She'd fallen in love with Gray, not Natsu, and as much as it hurt her to know she'd broken Natsu's heart, she couldn't un-love Gray. That just wasn't how the world worked.

By now, every member of Fairy Tail probably knew what Natsu and Happy had found when they went to Lucy's apartment. It was embarrassing and she was shamed to know that they had caught her and Gray right in the middle of the act. She could just see everyone's reactions when Happy told them the news. Cana would spit out the alcohol she was currently drinking, Juvia would burst into tears, Elfman would declare Gray a manly man among men, Gajeel would laugh sadistically, Wendy would blush furiously at hearing of her older friends engaging in such risqué behavior, Mirajane and Levy would be giggling together, so happy that Lucy had finally found a boyfriend, and Erza… oh Erza, Lucy could just see Erza accidentally crushing whatever drink she was holding and demanding a full strawberry cheesecake right at that moment. After finishing the whole cake in a matter of minutes, she would then proceed to stomp on over to Lucy's apartment to scold the both of them for acting like such idiots.

Erza had always held out the hope that Lucy would fall in love with Natsu, Lucy knew. She would be furious that Natsu instead had to discover that there was no hope with Lucy by catching her and his best friend sleeping together.

Lucy rested her head in the crook of Gray's neck, drinking in his reassuring scent. She had always made sure to scrub her body free of any and all scent of him for fear that any of the dragon slayers may recognize it and question her about it. Even though it had come at the price of her friend's heartbreak, they were now free to love openly.

Love?

She thought for a moment.

Did she love Gray?

His hand moved through her hair softly. "Don't worry," he said to her. "It'll be fine. Natsu'll be fine." She took a step back and looked at him. He didn't smile, but he didn't need to. His eyes showed her all she needed to know.

Yes, she loved him.

But she couldn't say it out loud.

And he didn't expect her to.

"I'm in love with you," he said.

She cast her eyes down. "I know."

He didn't need to hear it back, she knew that. He knew she loved him too, and that she was only afraid. She was afraid of many things, mostly losing things. She was afraid that their relationship would turn into that of her mother and father's, one more of convenience than love, filled with anger and hurt. Maybe it was an entirely irrational fear, but that was okay, because he was afraid of many things too. Lucy was the only one who knew how much the days of his childhood haunted him, how he would have such terrible nightmares about the day his entire village was slaughtered that he would wake up screaming and sobbing. She was always there for him when this happened, talking soothingly of other, more trivial things, like the weather or the latest Sorcerer Weekly, to bring his mind back to the present. She was there to caress his face and run her fingers through his hair, reminding him of where he was, of who he was. Sometimes she sang to him, her voice shaking with tears she was trying so hard to keep unshed for his sake. It was horrible, to see the normally strong and impassive Gray Fullbuster in such a wretched state. She wanted him to be happy, just as he wanted her to be happy.

So he could wait. He would wait for as long as it took for her to say it. He had told her as much not less than a week ago.

Lucy took his hand in hers and smiled sadly up at him. She put her other hand on his face and he leaned in to the comfort of her touch.

He would wait for her.

A bright flash of lightning and the deafening clap of thunder that followed violently shook Lucy back to the present, where she stood standing in front of her bedroom window with a small dragon figurine in her hands. The carpet under her feet was damp, the leak from her window having turned into much more than a simple leak, and now the windowsill was severely swollen with water dripping down from it at an alarming rate. How long had she been standing there, reliving that painful, yet beautiful, memory? Hurriedly, she removed her possessions from near the window to the other side of her room. After running into the bathroom to grab a few towels, much more loudly than she intended, she rolled them up and placed one each on the windowsill and on the floor beneath to soak up the water. The third she used to suck up the water from the carpet.

Yawning, Lucy looked at her handiwork. Nothing fancy, but it would at least prevent more water from coming in until morning when it could be fixed up. She smiled to herself and stretched her arms above her head, when she felt strong arms wrap around her waist. She wasn't startled. She knew she had been just a bit too loud when getting those towels, but still she did feel bad for accidentally waking Gray up.

"Ya'know, I could have just frozen it all."

She hadn't thought of that.

He chuckled softly in her ear as he snuggled his face into her hair. She loved this, the feel of him around her, the comfort he provided, how he always knew exactly what to say to bring a smile to her face. When she was with him, she felt like she could do anything, as if it didn't matter what happened in the world, because he would always be there to comfort her, to love her. He would always wait for her, just as he said he would. It had been so long since Natsu had discovered them, since everyone had discovered them, yet nothing had changed. It might have taken Natsu a long time to adjust, but once he did life seemed to go right back to normal. Team Natsu was still together, travelling all over and destroying everything in their path (albeit unintentionally) and no one treated them any different. Well, except maybe Juvia, but that was a whole different story. They were still the same Gray and Lucy to the guild, just now they were Gray and Lucy in love.

To Lucy, her relationship with Gray seemed complicated. But then when she thought about it, it wasn't at all, really. They protected each other, they helped each other, and they loved each other. What more was there to it?

Turning around to face him, she put her arms around his neck and brought him closer. The rain still beat the window, but Lucy found she no longer cared. The rain wasn't that bad after all, was it? It was only rain. It would come whenever the opportunity arrived, linger for a bit to play in the air, and then it would leave, barely leaving a trace, almost as if it had never come at all. Her sadness was exactly like the rain, she realized. After it had left, there would, without fail, be a beautiful blue sky and a brilliant, joyful sun afterwards. There was no reason to be afraid of the rain, or to resent it as she did. It would always be there, coming and going, and she would remain, forever unchanging.

Why had it taken her so long to realize?

Lucy brought her lips to Gray's and kissed them softly. There was no more reason for her to be afraid of the future, of what she would or would not become. She had him, and he loved her. Now, she was ready to let the future to be what it would. She was no longer afraid.

There would be no more unspoken words after tonight.

"I love you."

Her voice was small and breathless, but the words were real and unimagined. It took a second for him to understand, but then Gray's eyes widened in realization and he placed his hands around her face as his lips met her own. He kissed her so lovingly, so deeply, all she could do was kiss him back. If there was a Heaven, Lucy was sure this was what it was like. She felt as if she was floating above the clouds, away from all her worries and fears. All that mattered was this moment, this moment with a love so pure and a happiness so infinite she had never thought possible. Their lips danced together, conveying all that could not be said with words. She loved him. She was so, so maddeningly in love with this man, this flawed but beautiful man, she was nearly afraid she might faint from the happiness that consumed her whole. Her heart thundered in her chest, each beat feeling as if it lasted an eternity. She could feel Gray's heart thumping as fast and hard as her own, so how were they still standing? How was it not dangerous for such a fragile heart to be so completely overjoyed, pounding so rapidly and so firmly, the beat so determined and unyielding, how had their hearts not burst?

When they parted, he hugged her so securely it seemed as if he never wanted to let go. Lucy smiled. This was her happiness. He was her happiness. If he never wanted to let go of her, then she certainly wasn't going to let him get away from her either.

She would protect him from the horrors of his past, as he would protect her from her fears of the future. They were such imperfect beings, all this fear and anger clouding their lives. But together, Lucy liked to think, they were perfect in every which way.

So! That was my very first fanfiction, EVER! I haven't written anything in a long time, and I mean YEARS, so please be gentle with the criticisms! I'm trying to get back into writing and fanfiction is sort of like an exercise for me, so if you guys like this let me know and I'll think of putting up my others. I'm hoping to become a better writer by doing this. I felt terrible for doing this to Natsu so hopefully, if I write more, he'll get some happy screen time. :D

Thanks for reading!