…but he promised the next day he would be back and explain everything to his Birdie.

Next Day

When matt woke up the next day, he was confused. His head hurt, his arms hurt, his mind was a little fuzzy. When he opened his eyes he was in an unfamiliar white room. Matt started to panic when he realized he had no idea where he was. That is when he noticed he is strapped down to a bed. Matt started to thrash more trying to free himself but to no avail.

Once matt calmed down a bit he stopped to really think about what happened and where he was. 'The last thing I remember is falling asleep in my bathtub…. my life was almost over why!' matt thought as tears slowly slide down his face. 'I cant even kill myself right! I'm such a failure!'

As he looked around the room he noticed no one was in the room. 'Great…. I bet Alfred and dad are to busy with their lives to even come and visit me… why am I such a fuck up…' The tears continued to fall from Matt's eyes.

'how did I even get here…. Obviously dad and Alfred didn't bring me…who found me…?' thought matt. His question was answered a few minuets later when gilbert shyly walked though the door with some flowers for the young Canadian boy.

At first Matthew paled when he saw the albino man walk though the door. He had though gilbert didn't care, that's why he had walked away from him and hadn't spoken to him in school. Then matt was just confused, why had Gilbert brought him flowers? Its not like it's his fault this happened…well maybe a little.

"w-what…." Asked Matt

"I…I'm sorry birdie…. For walking out on you the other day…. It was totally un-awesome of me…and I… Should have known something was wrong and something like this would have happened I'm sorry…. W-when I found you in your house…pale and d-dying I ….I was so worried." Gilbert continued to ramble until matt slowly reached forward with his one free hand to grab hold of the flowers and Gilberts hand.

"…It's…. ok Gill…. but… why did you save me…. no one cares about me… you should have let me die…" said Matthew softly not meeting Gilberts eyes.

"I care! I do matt even though I just met you…I care…" Gilbert said taking hold of Matt's hand and holding it.

Matt just sat there in the silence not sure what to say to Gilbert. Instead he just put a little pressure and squeezed Gilberts hand in his own.

"Birdie…. Let me explain why I…. why I ran away from you house the other day…. Please?" asked gilbert, begging with his eyes to explain him-self. Matt could only nod and watch the albino.

"Ok…so…I have a younger Bruder, I mention him before he kicks me out of the house as well as my Vatti. You remember?" asked gilbert, again matt just nodded. "Have you seen him? At all in passing or at school?" this time matt shook his head no, he hadn't.

"Okay…. well he is totally un-awesomely…. taller then me…. by a few inches…. He's like 6'3! He's also really strong looking, big tough guys, German looking to the T. Blonde slicked back hair, and blue eyes. Can scare the crap out of any one who looks crossly at him. Here I have a picture" gilbert pulls out a picture of Ludwig from his wallet and shows matt.

"Wow…this is your little brother?" Matt's eyebrows were raised to high they were covered by his hair.

"Yea yea. …Back to the point.." Gilbert said as he blushed a bit in embarrassment. "Anyway…. A few years back … He came out of the closet… and my Vatti didn't take it so well…. originally. By this point I had already told him I was bi. But He saw me as so much as a screw up that he didn't care. But his precious perfect son Ludwig gay…. He just lost it." Gilbert started to look down by this point and hesitated but was determined to finish the tale.

"By this point…. I was already drinking, and being a rebel, I just wanted his attention, even the negative attention. Pretty Un-Awesome of me I know, but hey. I was loud obnoxious and got in a lot of trouble, but it wasn't until Ludwig came out that I was brought back down to earth."

"When he first came out I was not there for him, I protected him from Vatti by being even worse, but I did not protect him. I would just tease him and then leave to go drinking…"

"After a year went by I started to notice Luddy would only ever wear long sleeves, even in the summer or when he would work out. I thought nothing of it, he was a strong kid, barely 15, and so I just let it go. A few months after that…. I got the call."

"It was June 9th… I was being my normal self, out drinking and partying with my friends when I got the call from the hospital that…. that Ludwig was there… he, he had tried to kill himself. I rushed over there as fast as I could and it…was horrible. He had these horrible ugly…. ligature marks on his neck…. He had…. tried to hang himself he couldn't…take being alone and ignored. A big strong guy like him… and it…hurt me, I was changed. After that Vatti and I…. took great care of him. But I had changed."

"I stopped partying and drinking ever night, I took to being in my room. I blamed myself for what had happened. If only I had paid better attention to him…. If I hadn't ignored him…. Maybe he would have been happier? So…. I also started to cut…. and…. I did until Ludwig discovered it. He was disappointed in me and gave me a talking to but…. Then he hugged me and he helped me though it…." By this point a few tears had fallen from Gilberts eyes, as well as Matthews, and they held each other's hands tighter as the story drew to a close.

"So…the other day when I saw your wrists all the marks I just…. freaked, and all the memories flew back to me and I just did what I do best…. I ran away." Admitted Gilbert softly. He looked at the wall he couldn't look his birdie in the face.

Matt gently rubbed circles with his thumb on the back of Gills hand. He was still processing everything that he was just told.

After a few moments of silence Gilbert spoke up again "Please don't do this again Matt, I care about you…. And I don't want to see you hurt like this again, its…. totally un-awesome…."

Matt stared at gilbert for what seemed like forever before he finally spoke. "I-I…I'll Try…. If…. you don't leave me… I will try." Promised Matt.

A slow small smile broke out over Gilberts face, he gently cupped matts chin and placed a small soft kiss on kiss lips, his face quickly going red and looked away. Matt's face exploded into a bright fiery red when Gilbert kissed him. His heart monitor jumped, causing him to be more embarrassed.

"Keseseses glad to know you liked it Birdie" Gilbert said smiling happily down at Matthew. He promised from this point on he would protect Matt.

A/N: NOT THE END. Ok just…putting that out there this is not the end of the story yet. I still have a few things planned that will bring everyone in to the story again. So yea, Reviews are loved. If I don't get enough reviews then I wont update. oh btw the title means Ray of Hope in french, i think i used a translator.

Hasta la Pasta!~