20. Love and Modernization

Jointly, John and I are the perfect example of modernization, love, and modern love combined:

We drive one another up the walls,

We constantly send texts,

We borrow each other's computers,

We speak through Skype calls on occasion,

We don't always get dressed in the mornings after nights spent tangled and naked,

We forget to buy milk,

We get into plenty of arguments,

We make up eventually,

We're married but both male,

We are compatible in nearly every way without even trying to fit,

We sit and laugh about the silliest of things sometimes,

We laugh at all the wrong times (at a crime scene; in Buckingham Palace; etcetera),

We steal longing glances at each other,

We touch frequently in public without caring about what others think,

It took us a long while to realize we both wanted the same thing,

And took us just as long to get together;

We're outside the norm but somehow perfectly an example of it,

We function in our own way;

John blogs,

I have my own website,

Our cell phones are relatively up to date with current technology,

We buy each other things now and then (John more than me; I don't shop much),

Music fuels me,

John owns a gun,

John was in the current conflict in a faraway place (in this case, Afghanistan),

I am the only man in the world with my job title (Consulting Detective, thank you),

And, last but not least,

Through all of the hardships, criminal struggles, lies, truths, pains, fights, family, co-workers, friends, strangers, clients, cases, ignorance, dry spells, experiments, temptations, technology, questions, guesses, puzzles, misunderstandings, and joys, we remain with one another.

We stay, even when we don't have to, and even when we leave because we want to, we always come back because we have to.

And that is precisely how we like it.

And as far as my knowledge extends, that is precisely how modern relationships should (and do) function, in one way or another.

"…Sherlock? Did you say something?"

I smile.

"No, nothing. I'm just explaining something to Mr. Skull on the mantelpiece."

"I thought I had replaced that thing? Whatever it is, you can run it by me, you know."

Smiling wider.

"I know, John. I know. But this is something for the vaults of my Mind Palace, a memento of sorts, so I needed to say it aloud, but it isn't something you need be bothered with," I explain swiftly as I turn and leave the living room, headed for my room, where John sits on the left side of the bed, looking up from his book.

"Well, alright, then. Sleeping tonight?"

"Just for a bit," I nod as I slip off my robe and slide into bed. The sheets are cool, but soon warm from my body heat combined with John's. He smiles over at me and settles down into the pillows more, returning to his reading.

"I'm going to leave the lamp on for a while longer, if that's fine with you. I want to finish this chapter tonight."

"Go right ahead," I insist, rolling onto my side to face him. I slide a hand under the sheets and brush my fingers across his thigh, running them up over his hip and under his pajama shirt. He squirms, scolding me for distracting him, but I simply close my eyes and keep my hand there, pressed to the warmth of his belly.

"You nutter," John whispers affectionately. He frees a hand from his book to raise my hand on him to his lips. He replaces it where I had it and resumes reading. When he's finally finished, I hear John shut off the lamp, set aside his book and reading glasses (they make distinct thuds and clicks), and lies down, presumably facing me, because he's bringing me close, and I can feel his lips on my forehead. "Love you. Goodnight."

But I don't reply. I'm already drifting off, my breathing slowing to a nice, even pace. John wraps an arm around me and rests his chin atop my head, tucking me into him. I sigh contentedly and wonder, vaguely, when I got so accustomed to having this nearly every night, and why, even more vaguely, I never thought to have this comfort before, why it seemed so useless to me before.

But I already know the answer to the latter curiosity: It's because I've never had John in my life before.

What are you holding out for?

What's always in the way?

Why so damn absent-minded?

Why so scared of romance?

This modern love breaks me

This modern love wastes me