A/N: Ok, ok, first chapter finished! It kinda sucks, though... Oh, well, I promise next one will be better, I've got some ideas for it! :D

Sorry for my English, I guess I've just a talent to attract grammar mistakes:)

Enjoy!

Ah, and, Shizuo, please, can you write a disclaimer?

Shizuo: Tayani-kun, are you asking that solely because you want to throw me into a conversation?

Me: Not so much, not so much, Shizu-chan~ It's just kind of tradition.

Shizuo: DON'T CALL ME THAT! *taking his cigarette and preparing to throw it on the ground*

Me: Oi, stop that! *taking cigarette from him and forcefully sticking it in his mouth* Fine, I'll do it!

Disclaimer: I'm not the author of Durarara!, nor I have any rights for it. It would be more interesting if I had, though:)

!R&R!

Chapter 1

Human under bruises

Izaya was confused. He was feeling dizzy, for some reason, and couldn't think stright. That has never happened before, in his entire life. He was Izaya, the best informant in the whole Tokyo, if not the world. He knew everything and everyone, he was like a god for those silly little humans he claimed to love so much. Yet, sharp as he was, he realised there was something wrong. With him. And the entire situation. He felt fever in his body, his heart was beating too fast. He was positive that there was some kind of poison involved, too.

It all has started some hour... - no, maybe half an hour before. He was eating ootoro – God, that was delicious – and then, and then... Ah yes, there was a special piece Simon claimed to be extremely spicy, and he made a bet with some other guys in Russian Sushi that Izaya would not be able to eat it. And Izaya was certainly going to prove him wrong.

He ate it, and it WAS spicy as hell, and then one of those cheering men gave him a bottle of water...

Crap!

That was it! He couldn't believe he was so stupid! He let them drug himself! More, he has happily said thanks to that bastard! Oh, they're going to regret this...

"Oya, oya... If it isn't Orihara Izaya-sama..." The voice was ordinary and stupid, and Izaya was hating every single sound of it. Also, the honorific was said in such a sarcastic manner, he was nearly 99,7% sure that was the person who drugged him. He smiled, though, taking his knife in hand.

"Now, now, Izaya-sama, aren't you a little too eager to fight? You know, I've got a back up here..." there were others. He could see them. Twelve... no, fourteen. They made a circle around him, and he knew already that he didn't stand a chance.

So he threw his beloved knife, and as it delved into leaders chest, and as his head was meeting the first angry hit from others, he was able to think just one thought:

"Fourteen of them... And for just one man, drugged, on a top of that. What a disgusting band of cowards..."

And then everything faded to black.

"Fuck."

Waking up with such a word as a first thought in the morning was certainly considered as a deadly sin somewhere. Not that he minded.

His head was spinning; blond locks disheveled; his clothes twisted. That was freakin' three o'clock in the morning, and he'd just got back from work. And. He Was. Sleepy.

Ring, ring, ring.

That merry little tune again, that was the thing that dared to wake him up. He tried his best not to throw the blasted cell phone away.

"Yes."

"Shizuo-kun, you're certainly in a bad mood. Sorry for waking you up."

"Shinra, it better be something important, or you can tell Celty that there is going to be another head missing in the Ikebukuro." he was so annoyed. It was just the doctor. Not that he didn't like him in a way; he was kind of a friend. But that was definitely too early for friendship at that hour.

"Shizuo-kun, I know it's not the best time for waking up, but that's an emergency. Izaya-kun is in a hospital."

Shizuo was startled. He was so annoyed at the beginning of conversation that he failed to notice just how concerned Shinra sound. But, all that aside, he couldn't care less.

"Shinra, you know perfectly well that I'm not in any way interested in that pest's health. Thanks for calling."

"Shizuo-kun, wait. I know you don't really like each other, but you should show at least a little bit of compassion. He was nearly killed back then, his condition is really bad; they didn't let me examine his body properly, but I think he's on the edge of death, and..."

"Killed?" Shizuo interrupted. Not that he was concerned, but HE was the one that should have killed Izaya. The thought of someone practically stealing that position, that status from him was definitely frustrating.

Shinra sighed, "Yes. Killed. It looks like some gang managed to drug Izaya-kun and beat, as you like to say, the shit out of him. He has some injuries on his head, as well, and his body seems to..." Shizuo stopped listening. He hung up the conversation and sat on his bed, wondering. Maybe he really should pay a visit to that hospital? That pest was apparently knocked out, so he would be able to control himself. Besides, he wondered if Izaya's condition was really that bad. What if he dies? That would be definitely not good in some way – Shizuo couldn't really catch it why exactly, but... Anyway, he definitely has to go to hospital. Beaten Izaya – that should be something worth seeing. And apart from these sadistic, in some way, thoughts, Shizuo found himself quite... worried? No, no, he was not worried, why should he be?

"Anyway," said Shizuo to his empty apartment, - "first, I'm going to get some freakin' sleep."

It was black. And empty. And lonely. And sad.

He was somewhat immobile, couldn't move, but at the same time didn't feel the need to do so.

He was aware of somebody's presence, but they, whoever they were, seemed to be so far away, he didn't really care.

He couldn't hear them.

He couldn't see them.

As if they were behind some kind of a wall, or on the other side of a big lake of darkness.

They couldn't make the feeling of emptiness disappear.

There were also some pictures; floating around, just so far he couldn't see them. He was just feeling them, the pictures of some things he couldn't quite recall.

And words; words he could not hear, different from the irritating noise the others were making. The words, he somehow knew, were his own, but they were so cruel and unpleasant; he couldn't understand their meaning.

It was black. And empty. And lonely...

Shizuo asked himself the same question, over and over again. What the fuck was he doing here? In this hospital, going with Shinra and Celty to see his nemesis? What was he, a good Samaritan? But the urge to see, to confirm yesterday's (well, technically today's) news with his own eyes was too big. And, besides that, he wasn't working today, so that was at least some way to pass his boring free time.

Or so he was saying to himself.

Celty and Shinra were definitely concerned and somewhat sad. He could tell by the way Shinra seemed to lost his eternal smile and how Celty was playing with her cell, trying to keep her hands occupied.

Well, they both were some kind of friends to that pest, he thought. Of course they would be sad after such an accident.

They finally arrived to the door of Izaya's place. They couldn't go in, so they quietly proceeded to big, glassed panel on the door. From that point, they could see Izaya.

Well, the person that was once known as Izaya.

Shizuo was... He was... He couldn't find a word to describe his feelings. He was surprised, perplexed, scared... He was definitely feeling weird.

Because Izaya he saw wasn't the person he has known for such a long time.

He was all covered in bandages, he had his left leg and right arm in a plaster cast, his limbs were connected with all sorts of complicated devices. He also had a bandage around his head, it's white color fighting with aggressive black of his hair.

But what most worried Shizuo was not his body, not his bandages or injuries, but the look he had on his face.

Because his face was pale, and blank. There was no sarcastic smile, no real features on it; it was exactly as if he's been already dead.

Celty and Shinra were looking at him cautiously, as if scared that he would break through the door and try to beat the flea. He looked at them, reassuringly.

"I'm not going to kill him, you know; I'm not interested in finishing somebody's dirty work. Besides, he's already almost dead."

And, curious enough, that wasn't in any way what Shizuo wanted to see at the moment. Izaya on the bed was so... harmless. As if his cruelty, his sarcasm and ego were vanished away, lost in that nightmarish white room. No longer untouchable, he seemed only as a thin and gravely injured human being. Shizuo found out that he didn't feel the urge to kill he felt every time before; he was feeling pity, and just it. The person on the bed no longer required his anger.

He was beaten up.

He was broken.

He, surprisingly, was a human.

Shizuo wasn't sure why, but after the first visit, he was constantly coming back to hospital, to the room 55. He visited at midnight, when other patients were long asleep, and nobody could see him. That became part of his daily routine: he would enter through the back, go straight to Izaya's room and spend few hours just watching. He didn't know why, but only standing there, with his hand on the glass and watching that sleeping face was somewhat comforting. And then he would go back and continue his life as if nothing happened.

But he was changing, he could feel it. There wasn't so much anger in him, not towards Izaya, at least. He was quite enjoying these moments of quiet watching that unchangeable face.

And he has got a sneaking suspicion that change was starting to slip out of his control. What he didn't know was that it was already too late for that thought.