Chapter 1 - Depression Hurts

B.Y.R.: Yeah so I've been kinda depressed lately so I thought I would express my feelings through a story. Ya know, real feelings and thoughts into a story, makes it seem more convincing and emotional. Hope u like it! :)

(It's raining...)

The unhappy brunet was walking sluggishly down the bustling streets of the city. Eventhough it was pouring, there were still humans making their way to the places they needed to go. From a birds-eye view, multiple colored umbrellas dotted the streets. Everyone had something to shield them from the rain. All but one. Izaya didn't even bother grabbing his umbrella when he left his condo. He was in a hurry. The rain poured down on his head, making him shiver from the cold wind that was blowing around him. (I'm defiantly gonna get sick from this. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll die from a cold.) That's all the informant had been thinking about lately; death. He hated his life. It was boring. The same thing happened day in and day out. It was getting easier and easier for him to predict what everyone was doing or gonna do. His beloved humans were disappointing him and he started to hate them. He hated them for not entertaining him like he'd hoped they would for the rest of his life. He hated humans. That's right; Izaya Orihara, hated humans. It was outrageous. But he couldn't help it. The disappointment was putting him under the weather. He could feel his meaning in life dwindle each day. But humans weren't the only reason he was feeling depressed. He'd been hearing rumors. Rumors about HIM. Shizuo Heiwajima, happily going out with someone. A girl. All around him, the brunet kept hearing whispers from by-passers gossiping about the blonde. While he was all sad and depressed, the man he hated was living happily with someone in his life. He could've avoided the downpour by checking the Internet and finding the truth in the comforts of his home, but he wanted to see it for himself. To see if it was really true.

Making his way down the crowded street, he wondered why he even cared if the blonde was going out with someone. It wasn't like this was the first time. Shizuo had gone out with one other girl in high school, but she only used him to make her ex jealous. She dropped kicked the blonde to the curb soon after her ex came crawling back to her. After that, the monster vowed to never go out again. So much for that. The brunet was so caught up in his mind, he didn't even noticed the giant metal vending machine travelling his way. Lucky he kept walking and it missed him by a couple of inches. The loud crash brought him back to reality and he turned around. Knowing the only person who would ever throw something so dangerous at him, Izaya searched for the blonde headed man. And there he was. Standing just feets away, still in the position that looked like he'd thrown something heavy. Straightening up, the ex-bartender fixed his sunglasses and glared at the brunet. But the informant wasn't focusing on the blonde. Instead, he was looking right at the person just a couple of feet behind the monster. A girl, with a pink umbrella, was the only person standing near the enraged male. (That must be her. The girl that's going out with Shizu-chan. But why isn't she scared? Why isn't she running away?) The apathetic looking brunet finally fixed his eyes on the exbartender. He tried his best to put on his sly evil smile, but somehow couldn't.

"Damn flea! I told you to get out of Ikebukuro!"

The raven headed man didn't comment on the larger male's outburst. He was still confused about the girl. (Why? What does he see in her? She's not that pretty. Cute, but not drop dead gorgeous. So why?) He was about to ask those questions to the blonde, but the girl spoke before him. And what she called him, literally made him snap.

"Shizu-chan, let's get out of the rain. It's cold and I'm getting wet."

The larger male growled at the brunet before he answered back.

"Fine."

Returning to the woman's side, they walked away from the informant, leaving him speechless. Seeing them walk away, Izaya felt like he was going to die. His heart was aching as he watched the blonde walk away from him. He really did feel like dying. Standing there in the rain, people passed by without even noticing the brunet. He was being ignored by everyone, even by the man he hated. (It hurts... Why does this hurt? I don't understand... Why am I in pain?) Confusion and sadness overwhelmed his body until he couldn't handle it anymore. Unexpectingly, the informant broke down crying, running home to his condo where he could relieve his tears in privacy. As the brunet sprinted through the wet streets, the rain hits his face, mixing with the tears. Those who caught a glimpse of him running pass them would've guessed that it was the rain on his face, not tears. After all, the prideful informant would never cry in front of his humans. It was a sign of weakness; and at this moment, he was weak. (Stupid stupid stupid! Why are you crying? You're weak! A weak fool who's in love with that monster! That abomination! You're a disgrace to yourself!) The prideful conscience inside his head taunted him as he ran home. He needed to be alone. From everyone, even himself. He just couldn't control hi human feelings anymore.

He made it home, and the tears still ran down his face. Throwing his shoes at the wall, he rushed into his bedroom and stripped out of his drenched clothes. Taking a quick blazing hot shower, Izaya puts on his silk pajamas and jumped into bed. And there he continued to cry once again; the pain never seemed to cease. He cried and cried in his bed until he cried himself into a deep sleep. But even then, his dreams were filled with him crying because he'd lost someone he'd figured out that he loved.

A/N:

Well here it is. My new fanfic. To be honest, I'm trembling in fear. Since my first one was good, I'm afraid that i won't be living up to ppls expectations... I do hope you like this. Reviews make me a better writer!