Summary: Kol is bored, and when Kol is bored, he needs entertainment. Elijah and Rebekah are not pleased with what he comes up with.

Elijah and the Penguins

Chapter 6:

Warning: hints of Rebekol in this chapter.

Previously on Elijah and the Penguins

"I'm not going," Klaus said

It was amazing how such a simple sentence could so completely stop the increasingly loud argument between his two siblings.

Elijah looked at him, puzzled. Niklaus was standing near the door, as far away from the cages as possible.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm not going," Klaus repeated firmly.

Rebekah looked at him, annoyed to have been interrupted in her tirade about the importance of privacy and keeping your younger sisters happy because they know where your room is and are in possession of a flamethrower.

("How would you like to go around naked after I burned all your clothes brother?"

"Why sister, if you wish to see me naked all you need to do is ask." Kol shot back, smirking.)

Rebekah's patience – always in short supply – appeared to be running out. "What do you mean, Nik, of course you are going."

"No, I'm not." Klaus replied stubbornly.

"And why not, exactly?" Elijah asked, frowning.

"I don't like penguins," Klaus stated, resolutely not looking at Kol. Elijah's youngest brother was currently attempting very hard not to smile and failing miserably.

Elijah briefly closed his eyes at that, trying to keep his patience. Why did he have to be related to these people?

"Niklaus, no one likes penguins," he began after taking a deep breath and then paused, "except Kol apparently."

"Yes," Kol said enthusiastically and completely missing (or quite possibly ignoring, Elijah could never quite tell with Kol) the deadly glare Rebekah sent his way. "These birds are amazing! Did you see them move? And they don't walk, they waggle!"

Klaus shuddered.

"And besides," Elijah said loudly, ignoring his youngest brother's interruption, "we are still linked together as one. These birds pose a threat to use, and everything they do to one of us they do to us all."

Klaus shifted uncomfortably for a moment, before turning to Elijah, his eyes seeming to lock on to the stains on the front of Elijah's suit.

"Brother," Niklaus began with a smile that was even more insincere than the charming smiles he used to give the upper-class ladies he seduced back in the day.

(Elijah could never understand how people didn't immediately become suspicious when his brother smiled at them like that, but then again they didn't know about Niklaus' tendency to get people in trouble. Mikael had not appreciated his sons losing all the arrows in the woods after Niklaus had finally convinced Elijah to show him how to handle the bow. Elijah had resolved to never listen to his brother after that.

The next week Niklaus had smiled at him and asked if Elijah could show him how to track animals through the woods. They were several hours lost in the woods by the time Elijah remembered why listening to Niklaus was a bad idea.)

"I believe you are in need of a change of clothing. Shall I see if I have a suit that fits you?"

Elijah stared at him.

(Next to him, Kol leaned over to whisper in his sister's ear. "Speaking of a change of clothing, how did you manage to stitch your dress back together, dear sister? I feared your gown might be permanently damaged considering how rough the Salvatore boy was."

"You would know," Rebekah said sweetly, with an undertone of menace, "how long did it take for your neck to heal again?")

Klaus glared back at Elijah, daring him to make his move. Centuries ago, when Elijah was still his brother's right-hand man, they had designed a special code to be able to communicate without their company becoming suspicious. Apparently his brother wanted to talk to him in private about a matter. Klaus was becoming increasingly agitated however, as Elijah failed to respond in the usual manner.

Elijah took a moment to watch is younger brother squirm (no one could ever accuse him of being nice, and to be honest he still felt a little annoyed with Niklaus. Also, it wasn't often that you would see Klaus like this, and Elijah was all for enjoying the moment) before finally taking pity on him.

"Rebekah, why don't you and Kol try to locate the penguins," he announced, interrupting the staring contest his two siblings seemed to be holding. "Niklaus still owes me five suits, and I intend to collect. Kol, you will pay for the suit to replace this one. Your pets, your responsibility."

"They're not pets, Elijah," his brother protested. "They're penguins. Everyone knows you can't keep penguins as pets."

Kol was looking at his brother as if Elijah had just claimed that there was ice in the desert. (A faulty metaphor, Elijah acknowledged in his mind, since at night temperatures in the desert could drop to below the freezing point of water.)

"Your penguins, then," he allowed, too tired to argue with Kol on such irrelevant matter. "It doesn't matter, you will still pay for the suit, but first you will use your security cameras to locate the penguins."

With a pang of irritation he realised Klaus was tugging on his sleeve, urging him to come with him to a more private setting.

"Please try to find the birds as soon as possible, I want this penguin business done and over with."

Rebekah nodded, barely glancing their way as she was typing away on one of the keyboards. Images were flashing by at speeds a human's brain was not equipped to handle. Kol appeared ready to argue further, but then he noticed what his sister was doing.

"'Bekah, what is that?! How did you get into the security system?"

He seemed vaguely upset his sister had managed to do so in such a short time, and Elijah reminded himself to never underestimate Rebekah again. Their sister had a temper worse than Niklaus' and a mean streak that equaled their father's. It was only wise to remember she had familiarised herself with modern technology within a week.

By now Niklaus' tugging had become harder to ignore and finally his brother's patience seemed to have worn out as he just grabbed Elijah's arm and steered him towards the door, dragging him along.

"Elijah let's go," Klaus hissed.

Elijah shook off his hand, but followed Niklaus as they made their escape from Kol's laboratory. Niklaus really had no respect for proper clothing. This was his best suit, thank-you-very-much, and he liked to keep it that way. Elijah felt a pang of anger when he thought of the ruined suit jacket he had woken up in less than a week ago. Did Niklaus have any idea how expensive good suits were? Getting out blood after four months was nearly impossible, not to mention the hole made in the fabric due to the dagger.

Klaus took advantage of his temporary distraction by leading him to a room Elijah recognised as Rebekah's and then pulling him into the bathroom. Immediately he turned on the sink, the sound of the falling water distorting what they were about to say. Elijah closed the door behind them and leaned against it, leveling a blank stare at Niklaus.

To his credit, his brother didn't fidget, instead preferring to pace in the spacious bathroom.

"Well," Elijah said finally, not wanting to wait any longer before Klaus explained why he had wanted to speak to his older brother in private. "What is it?"

Niklaus glared at him for interrupting his pacing. Elijah raised an eyebrow in response and made a move as if he intended to leave. Klaus stopped walking and turned to Elijah, taking a deep breath, before starting his explanation.

"In 1908, Rebekah and I went to this zoo, and they had penguins, and one of them kept hitting on me."

Elijah frowned, once again leaning back against the bathroom door.

"Surely your injuries were minimal-"

"No!" Klaus interrupted him, now sounding slightly hysterical, "I mean it kept hitting on me. It was constantly bringing me fishes and showing off its diving skills and trying to cuddle with me."

Elijah stared at his brother, who was looking nauseated by the mere memory.

"And I wanted to kill the bird, but Rebekah said she liked penguins, and there were so many people around and then Kol showed up and-"

He took a deep breath, composing himself, while Elijah kept staring at him.

"So you see, I don't like penguins. They are annoying, loud and they stink of fish," Niklaus concluded once he had regained his composure. The glare he shot Elijah told him that should he ever mention his little breakdown to anyone, Klaus had several silver daggers he wouldn't mind using.

Elijah was speechless. Whatever brilliant excuses he had imagined his brother to have, this was not one of them. Nevertheless, he quickly recovered (you don't become one of the most feared vampires without being able to process your surprise quickly) and he rearranged his face into a mildly exasperated expression.

Really? Klaus had been on the run for over one thousand years from their father who was trying to kill them and he chose to be afraid of penguins?

Apparently Klaus couldn't be bothered to wait for his brother to get over his surprise and after staring at Elijah's vaguely disappointed face for a few awkward moments he spoke up. "Well? Aren't you going to say anything?"

"What is there to say?" Elijah asked, raising his eyebrows. "You are afraid of penguins. No doubt Kol knows this already, given your earlier remarks. Our sister presumably does not, which would explain why you insisted on our current location for this conversation."

"I'm not afraid of penguins," Klaus said defensively and Elijah would as much have believed him if he had said he'd never killed someone before. (Although Niklaus had an annoying habit of at occasion acting like he was as innocent as a lamb. It would have been amusing if he didn't suspect Niklaus bought into his own delusions. Sometimes Elijah really worried about his brother's sanity.)

"I just don't like penguins. Also Rebekah doesn't need to know about this."

"I have no doubt she'll find out soon enough anyway."

Klaus narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "What do you mean? You are not going to tell her, brother."

Elijah refrained from rolling his eyes. Was he really the only person in this family capable of putting one and one together?

"Where are we, Niklaus?"

"Rebekah's bathroom," his brother answered promptly. "So, what of it?"

"Do you really think," Elijah replied slowly, as if speaking to a child, "that Kol did not put up cameras in every room in this house?"

Klaus chuckled briefly. "And? Kol already knows and he also knows better than to tell Rebekah."

"Yes and our sister is currently hacking into Kol's security system."

Klaus' eyes widened as he realised what Elijah was implying.

"So like I said, I don't doubt she'll find out soon enough."

"But the running water-" Klaus started.

"Will not actually prevent her from reading your lips on the video footage," Elijah finished for him, before taking pity on his brother. "Really Niklaus, it's not like you could keep it a secret from her forever. It's better if you stop lying to her about matters of import, you know how she got last time she found out you lied."

Klaus glared at him, knowing fully well what Elijah was referring to. He didn't fancy being stabbed by Rebekah's dagger again.

Elijah deliberately looked away, composing himself and completely ignoring the feel of his brother's glare, before walking over to close the running tap at the sink. In the suddenly silence that followed he turned to his younger brother, who had a depressed look on his face that Elijah found it incredibly hard to find pity for. Fortunately Niklaus pulled himself together slightly once Elijah looked at him, unimpressed.

"Shall we go back to the laboratory then? I believe it's time to decide on a plan of action."

A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! Although I suppose technically that was yesterday, but in the Netherlands have two days of Christmas so you can consider this my Christmas present to you all.

For everyone who has been waiting months for this update: I'm sorry. I had most of this chapter written out since August (and some parts even longer), but I couldn't seem to find a good way to finish the chapter. I'm still not entirely happy with it, but I was reading through some of the reviews tonight and I decided that I had to at least update once before I ran out of creativity.

The thing is that I really like this story, but I'm stuck because my views on the characters have changed quite a bit since I started writing and I'm not sure I feel comfortable writing the story I had initially planned out. I might still try, but I think it's safe to assume this will (once again) be the last update for a while.

For anyone who has read or reviewed or favourited or followed this story, thank you so much. I know I've been horrible in replying to reviews, but please know that I read every one of them and that they make me very happy and they are the reason you know get this chapter.