Hey, super sorry I haven't updated, but I have a lot of things going on. I may have bitten off more than I can chew, you could say…

Okay, so, I have received a review, and I would like to reply to it. You can skip over this if you would like.

Anonymous-I'm sorry you don't like my interpretation of Ravenclaws, but this story is just a parody-something that is meant to make fun of things, but in a silly way. I appreciate that you told me how you felt, though-it helps me to understand my viewers. I am sorry if anyone else felt offense to the Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw perspective, but these are told by the Trio, remember-the view of the houses are going to be slightly warped. **SPOILER** Especially this one on Slytherin, as Harry is telling it, and he doesn't like the snakes very much. Again, sorry you felt that way, I will try better next time.

Anyway, here our story draws to a close…only one chapter left after this.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

If Harry was a Slytherin

Harry Potter sat on the stool with his eyes closed. Thoughts raced through his head as he wondered what house he would be in. Thinking of the Hogwarts Houses, he considered Slytherin. Sure, they seemed like an evil lot-Malfoy certainly wasn't helping their image-but were their evilness facts, or merely opinions?

Thinking about Slytherin, are you?

Harry was slightly shocked to hear this strange voice in his head. Umm…yeah.

There was a sound that sounded rather oddly like a chuckle. Alright, alright. Rather interesting you would be thinking of this house. You don't think it's evil?

I don't know.

Well, I've been looking through your head-no need to be alarmed-and I see you posses a wit among you, and are quite loyal, yes, but your other qualities-bravery and ambition-outweigh those. So it's either Gryffindor or Slytherin for you. Which house shall it be?

Well…I don't know. I'd be interesting to see if Slytherin is as evil as it sounds, but my friend wants Gryffindor…

That's fine. Normally, one would say take all the time you need, but I can't really say that, with more children waiting to be Sorted. Don't rely on what you friend thinks-how do you even know if they get sorted into Gryffindor? Ronald Weasley could get sorted into Hufflepuff, for all you lot know-

How did you-?

I told you I can see into your mind. Hmm…this is interesting…I see a certain slyness, charm, and ambition about you.

That's fine. Yell it out.

Alright. If you're sure then you're SLYTHERIN!

As the hat was taken off his head, Harry looked around the Great Hall, and noticed it was silent. It was shocking-A Potter? In Slytherin? Harry stood and slowly walked over to the Slytherin table, ignoring the stares. Little did the young Potter boy know, life in Slytherin would be harder than he thought.

Ron Weasley didn't know about having a friend in Slytherin, and besides, he was too scared to get close to Harry anyway. So those ties were severed. Instead, Harry made friends with his dorm mates-Theodore Nott, Zabini Blaise, and, surprisingly, Draco Malfoy, Gregory Goyle, and Vincet Crabbe. Malfoy accepted Harry into his gang right away. Past things were forgiven, now that Potter was in Slytherin!

Harry hardly-if ever-spoke to anyone in the Gryffindor house. Instead, he stuck mainly with Draco and Theodore, also making friends with Daphne Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson (though Harry could hardly stand Pansy, with that shrill laugh of hers and her vulgar personality).

Severus Snape had a troubled relationship with Potter. He rather favored him, because he was in Slytherin, though still disliked him because of his father. Because of this, they had an okay relationship, and Harry no longer went through (too many) insults in Potions, letting him find a talent for it.

Harry still visited Hagrid on and off, and Hagrid liked him okay, despite the fact that he was a slimy snake now. Neville Longbottom had taken to hanging out with Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, and now they were a trio, while Harry's own was Draco and Theo. Harry, without knowing it, had become…different. Because of the bad influence of Slytherin House, Harry was no longer the boy he would be in Gryffindor, but harsher and angrier. He was still 'good', though.

The Sorcerer's Stone was stolen because Neville Longbottom, even though he tried, was not The-Boy-Who-Lived, so Quirrell escaped with Voldemort. In year two, The Chamber of Secrets, Dobby did come, but his warning meant little to Harry because he had already spoken with Draco, and the plan made no difference to him. Harry had become dark. This was the cause of being a Slytherin. So The Chamber of Secrets was opened, and Ginny Weasley went down into the Chamber, and Neville Longbottom had to go and rescue her, as Harry was occupied with other things (such as being evil). He managed to become the Slytherin Seeker, though.

Sirius Black escaped prison, and was rather dismayed Harry was an evil Slytherin, but still set out to kill Pettigrew, anyway. Sirius had been unable to get into the Gryffindor boys' dorm, because Neville was no longer the forgetful boy he was. So Sirius left Hogwarts, but not before visiting Professor Lupin (whom Harry had a student-teacher relationship with). The meeting was okay as Sirius had to stun Lupin and explain his story, but eventually they forgave each other. Harry had a rather uneventful year.

Crouch Jr., after taking over the look of Mad-eye Moody, found out Harry was an evil Slytherin git, and quickly told his master, Voldemort. Voldemort was pleased, and planned to recruit Harry. So Harry was entered into the tournament and went through the tasks, but at the end, after using Harry's blood to resurrect his body, Voldemort explained he would like Harry to join him, and Harry agreed.

Sirius Black, with the help of Remus Lupin, managed to re-create The Order of the Phoenix. Harry was working for Voldemort as Junior Death Eater this time. Umbridge came and went, and treated Harry just fine (he was a Slytherin). Eventually there was the battle at The Department of Mysteries, and Harry went with Voldemort, eager to retrieved the prophecy (Harry had little to no relationship with Dumbledore, despite the Headmaster's attempts). Sirius Black lost his life in that battle.

In sixth year Harry became interested in girls, and began to date Daphne Greengrass. Meanwhile, Draco had to do Dumbledore's task, and Harry helped. They eventually let the Death Eaters through, and Dumbledore was killed that fateful night.

Neville, Ron, and Hermione set out to destroy Horcruxes, even though the attempt was futile since Neville was not The Chosen One. Harry remained at Hogwarts and was a Death Eater alongside Draco, fighting Dumbledore's Army. Eventually, during The Battle of Hogwarts, Neville dueled Voldemort, but was sadly killed since Harry was the only one that could defeat him. Voldemort rose and killed Muggles and Half-bloods alike, keeping the purebloods and Harry with him. As time wore on, though, Harry Potter began to realize a world that Voldemort ruled was, no, not the best idea. And Harry mourned, thinking back to all those years before with the Sorting Hat. Harry now knew the answer to the Sorting Hat's question-'Gryffindor'.

As Harry finished, Hermione and Ron stared at him in amazement, Ron gaping like a fish. "Wow, Harry," he finally said. "That was…interesting."

"Yeah," Hermione agreed. "I'm glad you're in Gryffindor."

Harry smiled. "I'm glad I am, too." He then gave them a serious gaze. "But no more stories, okay? We need to focus on the Horcruxes."

Ron cleared his throat. "Er, right. Stories like this…especially that one…are for another time."

Hermione smiled and stood up. "Okay. Who's on watch tonight?"

Whew. That was the most depth I put into the 'If Harry was' chapters! Anyway, my apologies if I offended any Slytherins out there. Next chapter will be the last, and I promise you can expect it soon.

~D