Later that night he leaned back against the headboard and waited for Shepard to come out of the restroom. "Come on! You lost fair and square, so pay up!" Joker called.
"I hate you!" Shepard grumbled as the door opened.
"No, you don't." He smirked and devoured her as she moved to the stairs. "Now say the line."
"Joker." She sighed heavily.
"Just once?" He pouted.
She sighed heavily again. "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope." She then frowned at him. "Wasn't she with that other guy? And wasn't Obi-Wan dead?"
"Shepard, stop talking. You're killing me. We are so going to have a marathon as soon as we have some shore leave."
She made her way to the bed and posed for him. "Is this good enough? Can I take off the ridiculous outfit now?"
"No, I…wait, yes. By all means, take off the outfit." Joker smirked and sat up. "And being such a good guy, I'll even help." Joker loved the fact she liked him enough to wear the slave outfit and her hair in the buns. He had decided that the first time she'd done it the fact she would was the best part of it. Not that he'd tell her that.
"You know I'm still mad at you, right?" She asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
"It worked, didn't it?" He said and kissed her neck. She leaned her head back to give him more access and wrapped her arms around him.
"I guess it did."
"What was that? Can you say it again? This time with a 'you were right, Joker'?"
"You were right, Joker." She said and narrowed her eyes at him as she shoved him onto the bed. "Just remember this moment when I get even."
"Get even?" He asked worriedly, but then she was climbing over him and he lost all thoughts but about how lucky he was that he got to be here with her.
-0-
Months went by and nothing came of Shepard's threat. Or so Joker thought and had relaxed his guard. Shepard joined him shortly before his shift was over and leaned in for a quick kiss. They were getting the hang of their relationship pretty quickly.
"So I was thinking that maybe while we're docked in Illium, maybe we should do something." Joker said wondering if he'd lost his mind. He was asking his commanding officer out on a date. It felt weird, but he'd realized they'd never done anything together other than watch some vids in her room, eat a meal together in the mess or her room, and well, a lot of really awesome things that involved her room but a gentleman would never say those out loud.
"Are you asking me out on a date, or are you telling me you need me to do something on Illium?" Shepard asked.
"I guess it was stupid." He sighed.
"No!" She said quickly. "It wasn't. It isn't. I just wasn't sure. I've not been asked out too many times." She quirked her mouth to the side realizing that was probably something you shouldn't admit.
"Their loss." He smiled at her. "So?"
"That sounds good. Have something in mind?" She asked.
"Well, I do believe I told you once dancing was out, but I thought dinner somewhere that didn't involve the rest of the crew. Maybe catch a concert or something."
"How about you take care of the details, and I'll pick out what to wear." She teased him. He was trying to think of something clever to say when EDI butted in.
"Commander, the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plains." EDI said.
"What?" Joker asked looking from Shepard to EDI. "I think it's finally lost it."
"Shepard." EDI said simply.
"The rain…OH! Operation Payback is a Bitch is a go!" Shepard said having completely forgotten their code in the excitement of Joker's asking her out.
"Operation…what the hell has gotten into the two of you?" Joker asked watching Shepard. He then glanced around as the level of noise behind them rose in pitch. All the girls were laughing and looking at the men. Joker looked back to find Shepard pulling something out of a small crawl space.
"Remember how you wanted a mirror up here so you could see when people were hovering behind you?" She asked.
"Uh, huh." He said worriedly. He didn't like her grin at all.
"Ta-dah!" She sang and presented him with a mirror.
"That's, um, nice of you." He said and then looked in the mirror. "What the hell?" He cried as his face began to change to a hot pink color. He rubbed it, but it didn't come off. He then shrieked as he saw his hands were the same shade. "What did you do?" He yelled as he looked around. All the men were turning pink and the girls were laughing.
"I did warn you we were going to pay you back for it, right?" She asked and sat back on his console. "And you guys had so much fun with all your scheming, I didn't think it was right that we girls didn't get some of our own. So we devised a plan to pay you all back."
"By turning us pink!"
"Yep." Shepard laughed.
"How? How do I get it off?" He asked.
"Oh, it will eventually wear off." Shepard shrugged.
"Shepard, what the hell?" Garrus demanded through her com.
"Just a bit of payback, Gar. Don't toy with it or…"
"SON OF A BITCH!" Garrus shouted.
"It will get worse." Shepard finished with a laugh. Joker shoved around her and pulled up the surveillance vids of the main battery. Garrus wasn't only bright pink. Now he had purple polka dots.
"What have you done?"
"Well, we tried to come up with what to do, but it was difficult. It had to be all of you, and it had to be as big as what you all did. Kasumi thought we should leave all of you only women's underwear to wear. But we thought that wasn't good enough. Kelly was the one who suggested turning you all funny colors. Samara suggested putting it in the men's showers, but we knew that wouldn't work. Some of you men have access to private showers. And we needed you all to turn at the same time. So Tali and EDI came up with the plan to put it in the water systems. It's nanites that they programmed to only color the males of the ship with a command from EDI. We've just been waiting for every male to shower. Grunt was the hold out. He doesn't shower too often."
"So now that you've all got your revenge, you're going to turn it off now, right?" Joker asked trying not to panic. There was no way Shepard would make them all go around pink, would she?
"Remember that moment in my room? I told you to remember it when I got even. Well, I'm getting even."
"That's not fair! You distracted me with sex, and I had no idea you were going to do something so devious!" Shepard just grinned at him. "Come on! Turn it off! I was a jerk. I never should have thought up the panty raid even though it worked." She arched her brow at him. "Alright, that was a bit assy. I shouldn't have rubbed it in when I won the bet." She stood up and kissed him.
"Thanks for that." He whirled around as she walked off.
"Hey! I'm still pink here!" He called.
"I'm not the only girl on the ship you offended."
"I'll send out a mass apology letter to the others. Just turn it off now!" He begged.
"That still leaves EDI."
"You're letting a machine decide my punishment?" He yelled and glanced nervously at the blue orb. He couldn't say for sure, but it seemed a bit smug as it shimmered.
"Sister solidarity, Joker. You offended her too."
"It's a machine!" He yelled.
"And with that attitude, Mr. Moreau, you will stay pink." EDI snipped at him.
"Come on, EDI! I was joking. EDI? EDI!" Joker yelled as she winked out.
Shepard laughed as she made her way through the ship, nodding to the crew as she went. There was good-natured arguing and teasing going on all around. She had to give it to Joker and his out of the box idea. Seemed panty raids were a good way for teambuilding. They were ready for whatever the Collectors threw at them next. Even if half the crew was pink.