Shepard sighed as she flopped down onto the half wall beside Joker. He tore his eyes off his screens to check on his woman. He grinned as he thought it. He liked thinking it, but he liked being unbroken so he'd never tell her that.

"So things didn't go as smoothly as you thought they would, did they?" He asked working on keeping the smugness from his voice. If he was smug, she might make him sleep in his bunk tonight.

"Not really. Apparently the Cerberus crew doesn't have any common sense that would tell them that old earth vids about aliens would be insulting to oh, say, our alien crewmembers."

"They didn't!" Joker said turning to give Shepard his full attention then. He was all about playing jokes on people, but he knew when not to cross a line.

"Oh, yes. Yes, they did. Mild mannered Samara and Thane, not so mild mannered when pissed." Shepard said and rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"I'm surprised Garrus didn't beat someone bloody." Joker said reaching out to lay a comforting hand on Shepard's leg.

"All he did was give me a look and shake his head. He said it was little wonder we'd fought with the turians if that was how humans thought." Shepard groaned and shook her head. "All I wanted to do was unite the team a little. I know they would all follow me into hell, but I need them to have each other's backs as well. I need to know if something happens to me this time that they…" She trailed off and caught Joker's hand. "I'm sorry." She said quickly.

"Don't even think it. You are not leaving me again, do you understand me?" He ordered and stood up so he could awkwardly give her a hug. They still weren't too sure how to go about being a normal couple, but each was committed to trying. "And as to teambuilding, maybe you need to think outside of the box."

"Gee, thanks, Joker. I feel so much better now." She pouted but gave him a quick kiss. "Thanks for the effort though. Maybe I was foolish to believe I could make anyone work as a team here. There is too big of a line to cross. There's my team and the Cerberus team." Shepard hung her head. "I'm going to my room. I have a bunch of apologies to try and come up with before tomorrow. See you in a bit."

Joker couldn't stand to see her so defeated. He caught her arm. "I think I have an idea. Don't ask questions. You are just going to have to trust me." He said as she gave him a look.

She sighed. "So long as it doesn't offend anymore of my friends, fine." She started off and turned back to him. "And it better be legal."

Joker smirked at her. "You want results?"

"I'm going to regret this." She sighed. "Fine. Do your plan."

-0-

"You want us to what?" Garrus asked looking at Joker as if he'd asked him to dance.

"You heard me. It's a competition. You all owe me massive amounts of credit. This is a way to earn it back. Each pair gets a certain amount of your debt forgiven. Unless you'd rather pay me." Joker smirked at the grumbling room of men. They'd been playing a week long game of Skyllian Five.

Shepard thought the game his way of making them a team and had shook her head about his 'out of the box' thinking. But it was just a ruse to get to the team building part. He'd worked his skills for days now and had them all right where he wanted them.

"This seems…juvenile. I do not see why you would even want them. Are you unhappy with Shepard?" Thane asked cocking his head to the side and blinking at him with his double lids.

"I'm more than happy with Shepard. That's not what this is about. It's a game. It will be fun. Trust me."

"Thane's right. This is juvenile." Garrus agreed. "Shepard would never approve."

"It was her idea." Joker added and hoped they didn't call his bluff. It had sort of been her idea. She wanted them to work as a team and had told him to go ahead with his plan. All the men eyed him suspiciously.

"What the hell? Hanging around this blasted ship is making me antsy. At least this is a hunt of sorts." Zaeed said with a nod. "All you pansy ass wimps can stick to your it's too juvenile crap and hand over your manhood with your coin. Or you could grow a pair, or four and hunt!"

"It could be an interesting diversion." Mordin said looking away thoughtfully. He cleared his throat as all looked at him then. "For science of course. Study different cultures and rituals. Yes?"

"This is a competition for our Battle Master. We will do this. We will prevail!" Grunt said slamming his fist into his hand as he bounced on the balls of his feet. Grunt loved nothing more than competing especially if it was for his beloved Battle Master.

"I still think this is a set up, but what the hell? You only live once right?" Jacob said nodding to the Cerberus men in the room. "There needs to be rules about if you are in a relationship with the girl, they don't count."

"Agreed. This is about the hunt and challenge. Come on, Garrus." Joker pleaded. The others would all fall in line if he did. He was Shepard's right hand man.

Garrus drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Alright. I'm in. But when this goes to hell, I'm not taking the blame."

"Alright. You all have two hours. Get as many as you can. Remember only one per girl counts. We'll meet in the hold in two hours to tally up your finds. Good luck." Joker nodded to them. The men stood around nervously chatting for a few minutes. But finally some good-natured ribbing started and they all split.

Joker grinned and sat back in his chair. EDI popped up to dampen his happiness. "Commander Shepard will not approve of what you've done." EDI warned.

"She won't like my methods, but she'll like the results. If you ruin this, EDI, I swear I will find that wire to cross and hurt you." Joker threatened her.

"I look forward to watching this play out. Good luck, Mr. Moreau. It has been nice working with you."

"She'll understand when it's all over!" Joker protested, but EDI just disappeared. "She will." He insisted to the empty room.