So I sat there kind of amused and troubled by what I was seeing, two people sitting uncomfortably by the campfire, to my left there was Rei Ayanami, who for the world had the form of the red head girl, I was kind of disturbed by the usual expressionless face that Rei had on Asuka face, those eyes full of fire and determination now had the calm aura of Rei, she was there sitting beside the campfire stoically as ever, never showing discomfort, Rei Ayanami the same as always, but different in many ways. I then turn to look at the person on my right, he had a downward glance on his face, I could feel what he was thinking, I mean come on, I am him, I know that he's feeling response for the whole event that happen, and I guess me beating the living daylight didn't help him deal with that guilt, I could see that frustration, that pain on his face, that echoes my own pain, I should apologize to him for beating him, it wasn't his fault after all. He was just an unknowing clone that was a pawn.
"Ah.... Shinji," I began "I..um... I meant to say..." why am I having a hard time apologizing to myself? I apologize a million time before, I guess I'm a different Shinji than I was before. Shinji looked up to me, I could see the hatred, the despair, the angst, I had inside of me, which I no longer had. His eyes were reds, since he was crying, not that I could blame him...
"What do you want?!" he said I could tell there was both sadness and hatred for me and himself.
"Ikari-kun," Rei said coolly to my clone... hah my clone.. "I believe what Ikari is trying to say," she look at me stoic as ever, those eye seeing someone she know.... "That he apologize for any grievance towards you." I would like to think that she can read my mind... but nah, I know that isn't true.
I nodded "Yeah, what she said" he looked at me for a moment, then turn to look at Rei, I knew him looking at her was kinda awkward as it was for me when I saw him flinch.
But I knew that I was suppose to do something else, so I stood up came up in front of Me, and kneed down, my head cast downward "I, Ikari Shinji, do hereby offer my sincere apology toward your name and honor" There I said it, I just apologized to myself, I still kept my head downcast, I could feel Ayanami's eyes on me and my clone as I kneed there on the sand.
I looked up when I heard laughter and I saw Shinji laughing, I started laughing also "Apology accept Shinji-kun" he said, as you can see I ... we found it kinda funny apologize to ourselves, though it was just the two of us, since Rei just watch us, I wasn't sure if she was puzzled or amused with our behavior.
"I guess, that old saying is true" I said aloud, stilling laughing, till I lost balance and fell to the sand, that made the laughter go up a bit.
"What .. the ... old...saying?" he asked between his laughing, he wipe a tear off his face.
"If you accept and forgive yourself, anything is possible.." I said holding my sides as I laugh
"I know I have to forgive myself but this is ridiculous!" he exclaimed, he fell backward laughing.
I look up to Rei, "Hey Rei why aren't you laughing with us?" I asked
"Why?" she replied with her face puzzled "Is it necessary?"
I shook my head that it added to the laughter, she made a joke which out knowing it, "Rei...Rei... Because it's fun and good for you, makes you more human!"
"Yeah Rei, laughter is good for the mind and soul," Shinji say getting back up, he had a hard time getting up after hearing what Rei said.
Rei had amusing expression on her face as she tried to understand, it was cute on her face, even if it was Asuka face, but I think that made her more human then not. "ha..ha...ha..." she tried to laugh,
We stop laughing, I knew and he knew that we were in good term again, I just can't explain it, I just felt a bond between us happen and we understand each other, we were like twin... like brother.... BlaH!! Anyways back to Rei, she tried to laugh, we stop laugh and stared at her.
"Di...Did I do it wrong?" she asked a bit concerned, I.. well we were surprise, I had a feeling I was the leader of this particular ground since I knew Shinji... no offense Shinji wouldn't want to be the leader and I knew that Rei would follow without question if it was a right choice.
I smiled, for a moment I felt something of the old Shinji in me grow again, I think it was ... compassion for others, I though I lost it.... I shook my head "I think that was perfect for the first time, Rei."
"Yeah Rei, that was perfect, the only thing you're missing though.." My counterpart began, having trouble saying the sentence, since you know how /he/ is "is...is.. you-"
Rei looked at Shinji, with interest, and wanting understanding, she didn't move and just kept her attention on him.
By then I figure out what he was trying to say "Your smile, Rei, your smile" I said, she turn her attention from Shinji to me, she looked blankly at me first, then she gave a small shy smile.
God... that was the most beautiful smile I ever seen, I would have thought it to be cute, but with Asuka's face.. it was beautiful so....
"Is there something wrong, Ikari-kuns?" she asked concerned about our behavior "Did I do it wrong again?"
At the same time me and Shinji look at each other with the same shock expression on our faces, then simultaneously we said "No, that was perfect!!"
She had a strange wide eyed expression that changed to a blush. We looked at each other and laughed, Rei still looked puzzled, then for a moment she laughed with us, I think it was a kindness of some outside force.
I think this was just to break the ice between me and ....well.... myself. And we laughed cause it was needed, we continued this until late in the night, Shinji just went to bed (after saying good night to me and Rei and the insisted that we would have a big day tomorrow and we'll need to get up early). I laid there looking at the night sky, for once I could see the stars clearly and I smiled at that, then I became sadden on the events that took place, so many people lost because of my bastard father and his stupid SEELE. I sighed the night is so beautiful yet so dangerous...
"Ikari-kun," Rei said "I hope I'm not disturbing you."
I looked up to see Asuka... no Rei, peering down on me, those sapphire eyes shining in the moonlight ... "Not at all...Uh... what can I do for you, Rei?" I said, man I sounded stupid...
"I was wondering ..." she started "If you could tell me about your Rei?"
I looked dumbfounded at her, then I smiled knowing the feeling of needing to know the truth of oneself "Of course, Rei.." so I started when I first met her and continued until I didn't realize she was asleep, I smiled again, and laid down, before I felt asleep, I saw her smile.
*********************************
The Third Children
'Time start over again'
**********************************
Well, awaking up early in the morning is a pain I tell you, but awaking up to the smell of food it's always a good thing. Ah... I could smell the aroma of breakfast, I could see after my eyes adjusted to the sunlight, that it was Shinji cooking, and Rei nearby helping him, I was grumpy "Hey, why didn't anyone wake me?" I said a bit irritated "Would have help out with the cooking" I guess some habit you can't change....
"Sorry... I..I" stammered Shinji, then there habit that is impossible to change. I waved it off, "No need for that, I'm just in the habit of being the cook, you know?"
He chuckled, "I do, Shinji-kun" turning his attention back at the breakfast.
I shook my head, I guess some of my positive attitude is working, I turn to Rei "Morning Rei" I say to her.
She turn her attention from the meal being made to me "Good Morning, Ikari-kun" she said with that sincere voice of her, that one thing I didn't notice that while she look like Asuka, she sound exactly like herself.
I stretched a bit as I moved around, "Ikari-kun, there some water for you to wash up, that me and Shinji-kun found" said Rei. So they went exploring, that would explain the food. I nodded my thanks and went were the water was and washed up. Oooo, the water cold, but who could you blame? I finish washing up and took a minute to see the scenery, the sun was up, the sky was still blue cloudless, but the sea ... the sea was orange, I sighed something to live for a while, another thing I notice was that it was quiet beside that splashing the sea, it was very quiet.
I joined my companions and gratefully ate the meal "Thanks, Shinji, this is the best meal I ever had." I said, beside Misato cooking any meal would have been the best. "Thank you, Shinji-kun, this was quite pleasant." Rei followed my lead, I have to do even thing to bring up Shinji's self-esteem, I think positive compliment helps, I think also being complimented by yourself would bring anyone esteem up.
Shinji blushed as usually and stammering thanks, that it was nothing, I just smiled, and Rei was Rei....
I guess I given him his day, even if we're the last people here he's getting compliment. "Thank you Rei, you also help out with the meal." he said, Ah Shinji always the modest one.
We laid on the sand each one face the others, a circle doing nothing, well for one, I was relaxing after the hearty meal, I can't tell you about the other people in the group, since I ain't them. I then had a funny feeling that the two was watching me for some strange reason, I had my eyes closed at the moment, until I open my eyes to see that I was correction on my suspicion. It was kinda of eerily seeing an expressionless Rei in Asuka body, and an exact clone of yourself stare at you. I was the old Shinji, I probably pissing my pant, and be sweating with anxiety as the two continued to stare at me.
I cleared my throat "What?" I said at them, I wish sometime that person just say what they want, than just staring at you for something. The two looked at each other, then Rei came up, or rather looked at me, I guess that Shinji still be cautious around me, not that I will blame him, beside I think it would be unsettling to speak to yourself.
"Ikari-kun," Rei started, I get she would be the link or spokesperson for us "Yesterday, you said that we had things to do, and well Shinji-kun.." she looked at him, cause he was squirming "... and /I/ .." you can't notice that wasn't added in, improvisation, "was wondering what did you mean by that?"
They waited for my replied, how was I going to tell my plan, and not have them laugh at my face so to speak, "Well..." I began, then something popped in my head "we're going back to Nerv HQ, to get some stuff there that we'll be needing and then returning here..." I paused to see what there reaction, I saw Shinji have raise his hand, I looked at him "Yes?"
"What stuff? and why do we want to return to this place?" he asked in the Shinji manner that we all know. That low self-esteem, if I don't get that up, I think he'll go into depression, I surprise that he hasn't.
I smiled "That a very good question, Shinji," I saw that was a good thing to say to him "To answer your first question, we're going get some important document, identification, that sort of thing. For the second, we're going to pilot Evangelion Unit-01." I said simply, I shouldn't have said that.. .yet.
"WHAT?! PILOT THAT FREAKING MONSTER AGAIN!?" Shinji shout at me, I would have be piss off with that attitude.. "I'LL NEVER PILOT THAT ... THAT THING AGAIN!?" he looked at me with that hateful eyes, that is always fill with the angst and despair of his.. my life. He began sobbing, mumbling that I was like the rest of them, I wasn't different then anyone else, everyone tried to use him for his own gain.
I stood up and calmly walked toward Shinji, I saw that Rei was half up, her eyes were full of concern, and she was looking down on me, I believe it to warn me not to do anything, though she didn't express any such. I touch Shinji on the shoulder and gently drew him up, and look at him, he was still cried, I had an impulse to slap myself. "Shinji, listen.." I started "The Evangelion, is a horror that shouldn't have been created, that thing stole the life of our mother, it wreck our life countless of time, it hurt, maimed and even killed the one we cared about," he cease cried but continued to whimpered lightly, good at least he's listening to me.
"But in all, it saved countless of lives, it protected you love ones, it protected you, so you could fight, it was our mother's sacrifice, it was our father's legacy," I paused hoping this would reach out toward him "The sole purpose of it is to fight the Angels and protect mankind, which it done." he looked at me "But man like our father, man like that our father work for, they perverted its purpose to protect mankind, and I came to a realization, do you want to know what that was?"
He nodded weakly, his eyes pleading searching something I could provided, if I haven't become strong, I too would have been crying too "My realization was that there was one more angel left, That Angel was SEELE, and logic show it by the deed they have done," he had a wide-eye looked on his face "In every turn they been trying to destroy man in order to evolve to the next evolution... an unified Angel!"
"So.." my voice for some reason became a whisper "you see, my mission and duty as a pilot is to destroy the Angels, and SEELE is the Alpha and Omega and I'll carry out my order to save my mother, my guardian, my friends...and my father."
Shinji looked in disbelief, he felled to the ground, and he screamed, Rei stood up concern she was about to come toward him, but I waved no, she stood where she was. I looked at Shinji, "Shinji, I believe that our purpose wasn't to pilot Evangelion, but to be the Hero or Savior of mankind.." I said softy after he stopped scream and laid there on his knee, I offered my hand toward him "Now if you want to live and save everyone, then take my hand and live."
He looked at my hand for the longest time, then looked at my face, I smiled, I came a long way from what I had become, he smiled too, wiping a tear off his face and grabbing my hand, I lift him up to his feet "So, what do we do.... brother?"
I think that was the first time, that he felt his life was any worth and wasn't as meanless as he believed. I think also that I believe my life was worth something greater. I think we also saw each other as brothers than as a clone and the original, we were a family.
Author Note: Well, here is the second chapter, what did you think? I think I actually enjoying to write this because it present a challenge, how to write without making it crappy, anyways I think that the long period I had was used to think of something good. Oh, about the character view, I made it first-person as you can tell, I think writing like this is better for me, cause I think doing it third-person, I don't get that character input good. As you can figure the main character is Shinji. I think the reason why I had two Shinjis was because I wanted a leader type Shinji, but that would have been too OOC, and I didn't want people complaint about the OOC, so I created a clone of Shinji, and made the clone be exactly like Shinji, to be IC. I think writing how shinji got his clone and why Shinji acts like that would be a good story to right, I think I'll do that instead of tell how it happen. Anyways I don't know how many chapter there will be but I hope it's be a lot. I stopped for a reason also, I need to research something that would be need in the chapter, until then Seeya!
"Ah.... Shinji," I began "I..um... I meant to say..." why am I having a hard time apologizing to myself? I apologize a million time before, I guess I'm a different Shinji than I was before. Shinji looked up to me, I could see the hatred, the despair, the angst, I had inside of me, which I no longer had. His eyes were reds, since he was crying, not that I could blame him...
"What do you want?!" he said I could tell there was both sadness and hatred for me and himself.
"Ikari-kun," Rei said coolly to my clone... hah my clone.. "I believe what Ikari is trying to say," she look at me stoic as ever, those eye seeing someone she know.... "That he apologize for any grievance towards you." I would like to think that she can read my mind... but nah, I know that isn't true.
I nodded "Yeah, what she said" he looked at me for a moment, then turn to look at Rei, I knew him looking at her was kinda awkward as it was for me when I saw him flinch.
But I knew that I was suppose to do something else, so I stood up came up in front of Me, and kneed down, my head cast downward "I, Ikari Shinji, do hereby offer my sincere apology toward your name and honor" There I said it, I just apologized to myself, I still kept my head downcast, I could feel Ayanami's eyes on me and my clone as I kneed there on the sand.
I looked up when I heard laughter and I saw Shinji laughing, I started laughing also "Apology accept Shinji-kun" he said, as you can see I ... we found it kinda funny apologize to ourselves, though it was just the two of us, since Rei just watch us, I wasn't sure if she was puzzled or amused with our behavior.
"I guess, that old saying is true" I said aloud, stilling laughing, till I lost balance and fell to the sand, that made the laughter go up a bit.
"What .. the ... old...saying?" he asked between his laughing, he wipe a tear off his face.
"If you accept and forgive yourself, anything is possible.." I said holding my sides as I laugh
"I know I have to forgive myself but this is ridiculous!" he exclaimed, he fell backward laughing.
I look up to Rei, "Hey Rei why aren't you laughing with us?" I asked
"Why?" she replied with her face puzzled "Is it necessary?"
I shook my head that it added to the laughter, she made a joke which out knowing it, "Rei...Rei... Because it's fun and good for you, makes you more human!"
"Yeah Rei, laughter is good for the mind and soul," Shinji say getting back up, he had a hard time getting up after hearing what Rei said.
Rei had amusing expression on her face as she tried to understand, it was cute on her face, even if it was Asuka face, but I think that made her more human then not. "ha..ha...ha..." she tried to laugh,
We stop laughing, I knew and he knew that we were in good term again, I just can't explain it, I just felt a bond between us happen and we understand each other, we were like twin... like brother.... BlaH!! Anyways back to Rei, she tried to laugh, we stop laugh and stared at her.
"Di...Did I do it wrong?" she asked a bit concerned, I.. well we were surprise, I had a feeling I was the leader of this particular ground since I knew Shinji... no offense Shinji wouldn't want to be the leader and I knew that Rei would follow without question if it was a right choice.
I smiled, for a moment I felt something of the old Shinji in me grow again, I think it was ... compassion for others, I though I lost it.... I shook my head "I think that was perfect for the first time, Rei."
"Yeah Rei, that was perfect, the only thing you're missing though.." My counterpart began, having trouble saying the sentence, since you know how /he/ is "is...is.. you-"
Rei looked at Shinji, with interest, and wanting understanding, she didn't move and just kept her attention on him.
By then I figure out what he was trying to say "Your smile, Rei, your smile" I said, she turn her attention from Shinji to me, she looked blankly at me first, then she gave a small shy smile.
God... that was the most beautiful smile I ever seen, I would have thought it to be cute, but with Asuka's face.. it was beautiful so....
"Is there something wrong, Ikari-kuns?" she asked concerned about our behavior "Did I do it wrong again?"
At the same time me and Shinji look at each other with the same shock expression on our faces, then simultaneously we said "No, that was perfect!!"
She had a strange wide eyed expression that changed to a blush. We looked at each other and laughed, Rei still looked puzzled, then for a moment she laughed with us, I think it was a kindness of some outside force.
I think this was just to break the ice between me and ....well.... myself. And we laughed cause it was needed, we continued this until late in the night, Shinji just went to bed (after saying good night to me and Rei and the insisted that we would have a big day tomorrow and we'll need to get up early). I laid there looking at the night sky, for once I could see the stars clearly and I smiled at that, then I became sadden on the events that took place, so many people lost because of my bastard father and his stupid SEELE. I sighed the night is so beautiful yet so dangerous...
"Ikari-kun," Rei said "I hope I'm not disturbing you."
I looked up to see Asuka... no Rei, peering down on me, those sapphire eyes shining in the moonlight ... "Not at all...Uh... what can I do for you, Rei?" I said, man I sounded stupid...
"I was wondering ..." she started "If you could tell me about your Rei?"
I looked dumbfounded at her, then I smiled knowing the feeling of needing to know the truth of oneself "Of course, Rei.." so I started when I first met her and continued until I didn't realize she was asleep, I smiled again, and laid down, before I felt asleep, I saw her smile.
*********************************
The Third Children
'Time start over again'
**********************************
Well, awaking up early in the morning is a pain I tell you, but awaking up to the smell of food it's always a good thing. Ah... I could smell the aroma of breakfast, I could see after my eyes adjusted to the sunlight, that it was Shinji cooking, and Rei nearby helping him, I was grumpy "Hey, why didn't anyone wake me?" I said a bit irritated "Would have help out with the cooking" I guess some habit you can't change....
"Sorry... I..I" stammered Shinji, then there habit that is impossible to change. I waved it off, "No need for that, I'm just in the habit of being the cook, you know?"
He chuckled, "I do, Shinji-kun" turning his attention back at the breakfast.
I shook my head, I guess some of my positive attitude is working, I turn to Rei "Morning Rei" I say to her.
She turn her attention from the meal being made to me "Good Morning, Ikari-kun" she said with that sincere voice of her, that one thing I didn't notice that while she look like Asuka, she sound exactly like herself.
I stretched a bit as I moved around, "Ikari-kun, there some water for you to wash up, that me and Shinji-kun found" said Rei. So they went exploring, that would explain the food. I nodded my thanks and went were the water was and washed up. Oooo, the water cold, but who could you blame? I finish washing up and took a minute to see the scenery, the sun was up, the sky was still blue cloudless, but the sea ... the sea was orange, I sighed something to live for a while, another thing I notice was that it was quiet beside that splashing the sea, it was very quiet.
I joined my companions and gratefully ate the meal "Thanks, Shinji, this is the best meal I ever had." I said, beside Misato cooking any meal would have been the best. "Thank you, Shinji-kun, this was quite pleasant." Rei followed my lead, I have to do even thing to bring up Shinji's self-esteem, I think positive compliment helps, I think also being complimented by yourself would bring anyone esteem up.
Shinji blushed as usually and stammering thanks, that it was nothing, I just smiled, and Rei was Rei....
I guess I given him his day, even if we're the last people here he's getting compliment. "Thank you Rei, you also help out with the meal." he said, Ah Shinji always the modest one.
We laid on the sand each one face the others, a circle doing nothing, well for one, I was relaxing after the hearty meal, I can't tell you about the other people in the group, since I ain't them. I then had a funny feeling that the two was watching me for some strange reason, I had my eyes closed at the moment, until I open my eyes to see that I was correction on my suspicion. It was kinda of eerily seeing an expressionless Rei in Asuka body, and an exact clone of yourself stare at you. I was the old Shinji, I probably pissing my pant, and be sweating with anxiety as the two continued to stare at me.
I cleared my throat "What?" I said at them, I wish sometime that person just say what they want, than just staring at you for something. The two looked at each other, then Rei came up, or rather looked at me, I guess that Shinji still be cautious around me, not that I will blame him, beside I think it would be unsettling to speak to yourself.
"Ikari-kun," Rei started, I get she would be the link or spokesperson for us "Yesterday, you said that we had things to do, and well Shinji-kun.." she looked at him, cause he was squirming "... and /I/ .." you can't notice that wasn't added in, improvisation, "was wondering what did you mean by that?"
They waited for my replied, how was I going to tell my plan, and not have them laugh at my face so to speak, "Well..." I began, then something popped in my head "we're going back to Nerv HQ, to get some stuff there that we'll be needing and then returning here..." I paused to see what there reaction, I saw Shinji have raise his hand, I looked at him "Yes?"
"What stuff? and why do we want to return to this place?" he asked in the Shinji manner that we all know. That low self-esteem, if I don't get that up, I think he'll go into depression, I surprise that he hasn't.
I smiled "That a very good question, Shinji," I saw that was a good thing to say to him "To answer your first question, we're going get some important document, identification, that sort of thing. For the second, we're going to pilot Evangelion Unit-01." I said simply, I shouldn't have said that.. .yet.
"WHAT?! PILOT THAT FREAKING MONSTER AGAIN!?" Shinji shout at me, I would have be piss off with that attitude.. "I'LL NEVER PILOT THAT ... THAT THING AGAIN!?" he looked at me with that hateful eyes, that is always fill with the angst and despair of his.. my life. He began sobbing, mumbling that I was like the rest of them, I wasn't different then anyone else, everyone tried to use him for his own gain.
I stood up and calmly walked toward Shinji, I saw that Rei was half up, her eyes were full of concern, and she was looking down on me, I believe it to warn me not to do anything, though she didn't express any such. I touch Shinji on the shoulder and gently drew him up, and look at him, he was still cried, I had an impulse to slap myself. "Shinji, listen.." I started "The Evangelion, is a horror that shouldn't have been created, that thing stole the life of our mother, it wreck our life countless of time, it hurt, maimed and even killed the one we cared about," he cease cried but continued to whimpered lightly, good at least he's listening to me.
"But in all, it saved countless of lives, it protected you love ones, it protected you, so you could fight, it was our mother's sacrifice, it was our father's legacy," I paused hoping this would reach out toward him "The sole purpose of it is to fight the Angels and protect mankind, which it done." he looked at me "But man like our father, man like that our father work for, they perverted its purpose to protect mankind, and I came to a realization, do you want to know what that was?"
He nodded weakly, his eyes pleading searching something I could provided, if I haven't become strong, I too would have been crying too "My realization was that there was one more angel left, That Angel was SEELE, and logic show it by the deed they have done," he had a wide-eye looked on his face "In every turn they been trying to destroy man in order to evolve to the next evolution... an unified Angel!"
"So.." my voice for some reason became a whisper "you see, my mission and duty as a pilot is to destroy the Angels, and SEELE is the Alpha and Omega and I'll carry out my order to save my mother, my guardian, my friends...and my father."
Shinji looked in disbelief, he felled to the ground, and he screamed, Rei stood up concern she was about to come toward him, but I waved no, she stood where she was. I looked at Shinji, "Shinji, I believe that our purpose wasn't to pilot Evangelion, but to be the Hero or Savior of mankind.." I said softy after he stopped scream and laid there on his knee, I offered my hand toward him "Now if you want to live and save everyone, then take my hand and live."
He looked at my hand for the longest time, then looked at my face, I smiled, I came a long way from what I had become, he smiled too, wiping a tear off his face and grabbing my hand, I lift him up to his feet "So, what do we do.... brother?"
I think that was the first time, that he felt his life was any worth and wasn't as meanless as he believed. I think also that I believe my life was worth something greater. I think we also saw each other as brothers than as a clone and the original, we were a family.
Author Note: Well, here is the second chapter, what did you think? I think I actually enjoying to write this because it present a challenge, how to write without making it crappy, anyways I think that the long period I had was used to think of something good. Oh, about the character view, I made it first-person as you can tell, I think writing like this is better for me, cause I think doing it third-person, I don't get that character input good. As you can figure the main character is Shinji. I think the reason why I had two Shinjis was because I wanted a leader type Shinji, but that would have been too OOC, and I didn't want people complaint about the OOC, so I created a clone of Shinji, and made the clone be exactly like Shinji, to be IC. I think writing how shinji got his clone and why Shinji acts like that would be a good story to right, I think I'll do that instead of tell how it happen. Anyways I don't know how many chapter there will be but I hope it's be a lot. I stopped for a reason also, I need to research something that would be need in the chapter, until then Seeya!