What's Wrong With Diplomacy
"If you want to go to Kyoto that much then go. Hurry up and get yourself killed," Saito sneered and turned away.
Sanosuke glared after him, ignoring the banter exchanged between Yahiko and his friend. How dare Kenshin treat him as a weakness?! How dare he treat all his friends as weaknesses?! "That's not how it works," Sanosuke said out loud.
"What?" Yahiko asked.
"Friendship," Sanosuke scowled into empty space. "Kenshin called us his comrades. But he thought of us as his weaknesses so he left all three of us behind. That's not friendship. That's. . . annoying as hell. Yahiko!"
"What?" Yahiko repeated.
"What were you saying about Kaoru?"
"She's a wreck," Yahiko responded promptly. "She needs help."
Sanosuke nodded grimly and fished the money he'd just borrowed out of his jacket. "I won't be going to Kyoto. Thanks anyway," he tossed the bag back to his friend, picked up his bag, and turned on the road leading to the Kamiya Kashin dojo.
The woman from the beef stew restaurant and Yahiko's friend were trying to talk Kaoru around when Sanosuke and Yahiko returned to the dojo. They were trying to be nice and get her to get on with her life gently. The poor girl had just had the person she cared about most in the world removed from her life. It wasn't the first time this had happened to her, Sanosuke knew. The girl had lost her parents and then all her students. The only decent thing to do was to politely and gently encourage her to move on, right?
Wrong. Sanosuke knew better.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF BED RIGHT NOW YOU UGLY, WHINING WENCH!" Sanosuke ordered. When Kaoru didn't make any attempt to carry out Sanosuke's order, Sanosuke grabbed the bottom quilt that she was laying on and yanked it out from under her.
"Ow!" Kaoru whined.
"Stop being such a wimp," Sanosuke snarled. "Not get up!"
"Mr. Sanosuke," The Beef Stew Woman put a hand of Sanosuke's elbow. "I think you should be nicer to her. Someone she loved just left her-"
"I think you should shut up and get back to your restaurant," Sanosuke told the woman.
"Why are you being like this? Is it because we wouldn't let you borrow any money?" Tae demanded.
Sanosuke glared at her. "Come with me. Outside. Kaoru, if you're not on your feet when I come back in, you won't like the consequences." He stalked out of the room with the waitresses at his heels. "You think Kaoru's going to get any better if you bleeding hearts keep pampering her like a lap dog?" he demanded.
"You think she's going to get better if you treat her like dirt?" Tae asked in return.
"I'm not treating her like dirt. I'm treating her like an annoying woman who's fallen too far into the well of self pity to simply be able to grab onto a bucket while other annoying women try to pull her out. Pulling her out by her hair is a much faster and effective way, and not only will it make her better, it will make her stronger," Sanosuke snarled. "I know what I'm doing, woman. Trust me."
"I have no reason trust you Mr. Sanosuke. I'm sorry but-"
"I considered Kenshin my friend. I still consider Kaoru my friend, even though she can't cook anything edible to save her life. I'm not going to sit around and watch while she wastes away. As a friend of both Kenshin and Kaoru, it's my duty to make sure that the one who Kenshin cared the most about is still around for him to come back to if he ever decides to come back." Sanosuke crossed his arms across his chest. "I can see you're not satisfied, and normally I wouldn't care. But since Kaoru's your friend too, I'll make you a deal. In five days Kaoru, Yahiko, and I will come to your restaurant, and I guarentee you, you'll hardly know anything was ever wrong with Kaoru."
"I-"
"Scat," Sanosuke waved a hand at Tae and her charge. "We'll see you in five days and I have a lot of work to do between now and then. Now go." He glared at the waitresses until they turned away, then looked to Yahiko. "Stop trying to spy behind those pannels and make yourself useful. Go draw a bucket of water from the well."
Kaoru curled up into a ball on the floor after her visitors walked out of her room. It was too much trouble to get back into bed. Everything was too much trouble now. All Kaoru wanted was Kenshin, and by now he was long gone. Some time passed. Kaoru didn't know how much and didn't really care. Nothing mattered without Kenshin.
Footsteps sounded on the mats, but Kaoru didn't move. Not until she found herself soaked in cold water, at least. "What?!" she demanded, looking up. Anger cut through her haze of self pity, and increased three fold when she saw Sanosuke standing over her with a bucket in one hand and a cocky smile on his face. "You jerk!" she snapped, narrowing her eyes. "What did you do that for?!"
The smirk on Sanosuke's face grew even more annoying. "Because I felt like it."
"You!"
"Whatcha gonna do about it?" Sanosuke asked, raising his eyebrows at her. "Sit on the floor in that puddle of water looking ugly? You should clean it up. It's a woman's job, anyway."
"Jerk," Kaoru crawled out of the puddle that was quickly disappearing into the woven rice mats on the floor. "Just leave me alone."
"Why? So you can sleep your life away? I don't think so. Or have you finally realized that the world is a worse place when you show your ugly mug and you've decided to keep it hidden behind in this room forever?"
"Leave me alone," Kaoru groaned and buried her face in her hands. "You don't know what it's like."
"And I hope I never do. If I was as ugly as you are, I don't think I could stand it. I'd find myself a good, durable mask and never take it off."
"You're so mean," Kaoru moaned.
"At least I'm not ugly," was Sanosuke's next quip. Kaoru didn't respond again. She burried her face in her hands and began to sob. "Oh, yes! Cry about it, Kaoru," Sanosuke jeered. "Cry about it some more. Make your face even uglier by adding redness to your crossed eyes and bloating your skin! Cry about it!"
"SHUT UP!" Kaoru screamed.
"Don't stop! Cry some more!" Sanosuke was merciless. "Don't look up from your hands. Keep that ugly face burried in them where it belongs. And cry some more!"
"You heartless fiend!" Kaoru jumped to her feet.
"Heartless fiend?" Sanosuke asked incredulously. "Can't you come up with something better than that?"
"You monster!" Kaoru cried. "You cruel beast."
"Is that the best you can do? Your insults are as pathetic as your looks, Kaoru." Her tormentor rolled his eyes. "Even Yahiko can insult someone better than you, and he's just a kid. I know rocks who can think up better names to call people."
"Bastard!" Kaoru screeched.
"That's a little better, but it's so unoriginal," Sanosuke told her.
"Son of a bitch!"
"Now that insult is ridiculously over-used. Like I've been saying, be original. Call me something like-"
"Male whore!" Kaoru shrieked.
"That's more like it," Sanosuke smiled, "Albeit that was uncalled for. What did I ever do to be called a male whore?"
"You threw water on me," Kaoru wrung out her hair.
"That was justified. You were starting to smell."
"It's been less than twenty-four hours since I last had a batch! I was not smelling!" Kaoru snapped.
"You were smelling. You still are smelling. You need a bath." Sanosuke sighed. "How about this; I'll light the fire outside the bath house and keep it going, and you wash your ugly face and get rid of that gods awful stench? Then you can make yourself useful and cook us some breakfast. Then you need to help that aprentice of yours with his training. He's not going to get any stronger if all his teacher does is mope about like a sick dog- even if she looks like one." Sanosuke had to dodge to avoid being hit by a flying shoe. "That was uncalled for as well. Not only are you ugly, you're also rude."
"I'M rude?!" Kaoru demanded.
"And ugly. Don't forget ugly," Sanosuke reminded her.
Kaoru attacked. She didn't have a sword, but somewhere along the line she'd learned how to punch correctly. Sanosuke didn't bother blocking her attacks. She was nowhere near as strong as he was and therefore couldn't really hurt him. Plus, she needed someone to beat up on right not. Sanosuke didn't mind being her punching bag for awhile if she needed someone to take out her anger on. She was a friend, and she needed help.
"Ah!" Sanosuke gasped as Kaoru landed a punch on his injured shoulder. After reopening that would in his squirmish with Saito, the stab wound hurt like hell. Sanosuke's eyes actually dimmed when Kaoru hit it a second time. Another punch to his stomach, then Kaoru punched him in his injured shoulder again. The woman punched hard! "That's enough now, Kaoru," Sanosuke stepped back. "We're getting blood all over your mats."
"What?" Kaoru came out of her fit and stared. Blood had splattered from Sanosuke's wound whenever she punched it, spraying it onto both their faces, staining Kaoru's hands, and dripping onto the mats beneath them. "Oh my. . ." Kaoru put one hand over her mouth without thinking. As soon as she realized that she was getting Sanosuke's blood all over her lips, she jerked her hand away. "I'm sorry Sanosuke. I'm so sorry. . ."
"You didn't do anything, save give your mats an unnecessary paint job. But now you really need to get a bath. Come on." When Kaoru didn't move, Sanosuke reached out to grab her and pull her behind him. Unexpectedly, Kaoru put her hand in his. He blinked at this, but mentally shrugged it off quickly. "You need to wash your hands at the well first. Then you need to get clean clothes to change into after you bath, so you won't have to walk sky clad back to your room."
"There are robes in the bathroom," Kaoru told him. "You need that wound checked and cleaned, though."
"No, I don't. You need to get a bath," Sanosuke led Kaoru to the Kamiya Dojo's bath house. "Go on inside. The water's clean- I just had Yahiko fill it. I'll see to the fire so that it will be warm." Sanosuke was mildly suprised that Kaoru did as she was told, then realized that she was probably obeying him because she felt guilty about making him bleed. She hadn't really hurt him- Sanosuke doubted than any women were capable of hurting him. They were capable of annoying him though, and Sanosuke had the feeling that before he was able to get Kaoru back to normal, she was going to annoy the hell out of him.
"Sanosuke!" Yahiko's eyes widened as he saw the amount of blood on Sanosuke.
"The little lady punches harder than I gaver her credit for," Sanosuke managed a laugh. It sounded fake, but he didn't laugh often enough for Yahiko to know that it was fake. "I see you've started the fire already," Sanosuke changed the subject.
"Yeah," Yahiko carefully placed another log onto the fire. "Kaoru hasn't been looking too good ever since Kenshin left. If making sure her bath is warm is the only thing I can do to make her feel better, then I'll gladly do it."
"Don't be like that," Sanosuke said sharply.
"Huh?"
"Right now the worst thing we can do for Kaoru is to be nice and sympathetic to her. She'll never get better if we continue to let her drown in self pity and pamper her. Right now angering her will give her more strength than being kind and caring to her. Make her mad, Yahiko. Make her scream in anger and act like her old annoying self. Once her anger kills her self pity, then we can begin to encourage her. Understand?"
"Yeah. I guess," Yahiko scratched his head.
"Keep the fire going for Kaoru. I need to wash this blood off me."
Kaoru felt terrible. Sanosuke hadn't deserved the pummeling she gave him no matter how annoying the stupid oaf was. There had been so much blood on both of them. Had Sanosuke had any blood on his jacket before she'd begun to hit him? Kaoru couldn't remember. Had she single handedly reopened the wound that could have killed him?
The water in the bath was warm, as though the fire had been heating the water for awhile, but Kaoru didn't allow herself the luxary of enjoying it. She felt too terrible about everything. Kenshin was gone, maybe forever. If he turned into the Battosai again, she was sure that he'd be lost to her forever. And Sanosuke was injured, and she hadn't helped him in the least by making him bleed. Hadn't the former fighter-for-hire lost enough blood in the past few days?
"Everything's so messed up," Kaoru sighed as she climbed out of the tub and pulled a robe out of one of the cupboards. She put it on without bothering to dry herself, tied it quickly, and left the bathroom. "I'm finished," she announced, looking around for Sanosuke. "Why don't you get a bath now? The water's clean enough-"
"I don't need a bath," Yahiko told her.
"Where's Sanosuke? I was trying to talk to him," Kaoru said.
"He went to the well to wash up. But he said it wasn't his blood that he needed to wash off- it was your cooties," Yahiko told her. "I can sympathize with him you know-"
"Shut up, you insubordinate little brat!" Kaoru snapped, turning toward the well. Sanosuke wasn't there, but he had left his jacket on the ground beside the well. It was badly stained, and it would be hard work to get the blood out, but it was possible. Kaoru picked it up and folded it over her arm, then went to look for Sanosuke again.
She found him in her room, scrubbing his blood off of her mats. He'd bandaged his injured shoulder.
"Sanosuke?"
Sanosuke started, then jumped to his feet, trying to hide the piece of bandage he was using as a rag behind his back. "Now what? Shouldn't you be cooking breakfast, woman?" he demanded.
"It's almost noon time!" Kaoru snapped. "And why do you always come here expecting to be fed, you pig?!"
"Pig now, is it?" Sanosuke asked. "That's an insult used by six-year-olds with vocabularies limited to about two hundred words. And the first meal of the day is called breakfast. It's not my fault that you were so lazy that you refused to get out of bed and get your work done. Now go cook something before you get any more behind schedule!"
"I don't take orders from you!" Kaoru snapped. "And I'm not hungry!" Just then her stomach growled.
"Not hungry, huh?" Sanosuke sneered. "Yeah. And I'm a cat."
"No, you're a cow!"
"You have advancted to seven-year-old insults," Sanosuke clapped his hands, mockingly applauding her. His eyes widened suddenly. "But do you know what a cow is?"
Kaoru's face turned red with anger. "Of course I know what a cow is!"
"Then spout it out right now," Sanosuke ordered.
"Huh? Uh. . ."
"Don't even know what a cow is," Sanosuke said with a smug grin.
"Takes one to know one," Kaoru shot back.
"Not bad," her tormentor said with what sounded like approval. "Now go cook breakfast."
"How many times do I have to tell you?! I don't take orders from you!" Kaoru screamed.
"Then don't cook," Sanosuke shrugged. And winced. The movement must have stretched the skin around his wound. He didn't make his wince obvious- in fact Kaoru doubted she would have noticed that Sanosuke was in pain if she hadn't known what to look for. But she had. And maybe it was her fault that Sanosuke was in pain. Maybe she had delayed his healing by reopening his wound. The least she could do to make up for that was to make sure that Sanosuke had a few healthy, if not tasty meals under his belt so that his strength returned.
"I'm doing it because I want to, not because you told me to," Kaoru said defiantly, turning away.
After Kaoru served a lunch to her two friends that Sanosuke was sure was some sort of poison, Kaoru began to lapse back into depression. Sanosuke was not about to stand for that though. By teasing her, jeering at her, and blatantly insulting her, he was able to get Kaoru to train with Yahiko, weed her garden, and throw rocks at him. Then it was time for her to cook dinner.
Ever after, Sanosuke would shudder at the thought of that dinner. It was Kaoru's way of getting revenge on him for all he had done to annoy her that day, with enough left to carry over what he did to her that night.
Sanosuke pretended to leave, but snuck back into the dojo after Kaoru went to bed. He waited until he heard her start to sob softly in her room, then quickly left to find half a dozen stray cats. He put them in a crate and moved the crate onto the roof of Kaoru's room. The sounds of the cat fight drifted down to her and interrupted her crying. It went on and on for half the night, making Kaoru angrier and angrier until she'd finally had enough.
"Damn cats!" she screamed, charging out of her room, wooden sword in hand. Sanosuke grabbed the crate of cats and lept onto the wall surrounding the dojo, then over it, into the street below, where he got a surprise.
"Aoshi," Sanosuke hissed, tossing the crate of cats. It shattered and the cats escaped. "What are you doing, creeping around here in the middle of the night?"
"I could ask you the same question," Aoshi reguarded Sanosuke coolly. "After all, perhaps I am just walking casually to a tavern. You, on the other hand, are scaleing walls with a crate full of alley cats. Which one of us is really more suspicious?"
Sanosuke gave a cold laugh. "The cats were to keep Kaoru, assistant master of this school, awake and angry. The reasons that I want her to be that way are confidential. I suppose your reasons for prowling around this school are confidential as well?"
"I have been waiting for the Battosai," Aoshi stated. "Where is he?"
"At the moment? I have no idea," Sanosuke leaned against the wall. "But if you're looking for him, you're wasting your time hanging around here. He left- he left Kaoru miserable. We do not know when he's coming back, if he ever is."
Aoshi's eyes narrowed. "Where has he gone?"
"To knock off some guy named Shishio for the government," Sanosuke spat on the ground. "Damn the government. You want to know what the problem with the government is? Those damn government officials!"
"Your qualms against the government are not my problem," Aoshi told the ex-fighter-for-hire. "What I want to know is where the Battosai is going."
"So you can challenge him?" Sanosuke crossed his arms. "Don't answer that, I already know the answer. Have you ever heard of this Shishio guy?"
"I have," Aoshi glared at Sanosuke.
"You like him?"
"Mere words cannot express the extent of my dislike for him. However, it is the Battosai that I want to challenge, not his successor."
"You think the world would be a better place if Shishio bit the dust?"
"Tell me where the Battosai is, or I will kill you," Aoshi said softly.
"I already told you, at the moment, I have no idea where he is. Eventually, he will be in Kyoto. You could probably catch up to him on the road if you hurried. He's got more than twenty-four hours on you," Sanosuke sighed. "However, even if you don't want to challenge Shishio, you might as well do it while you're in Kyoto- if you want the title of the best, that is. Some people have been saying that Shishio's stronger than Kenshin. Wouldn't it suck to beat Kenshin only to discover that he was no longer thought of as the most powerful? You'd have to go kill another guy as well."
"You're trying to recruit me to help the Battosai in his crusade against his successor?" Aoshi sounded amused.
"Of course not," Sanosuke put his hands behind his head. "You're going to do whatever you want no matter what I say." Kaoru's angry curses at the cats made him wince. "I'm getting out of here before that crazy broad comes outside the wall. See you around, Aoshi- and good hunting."
Aoshi didn't respond. Sanosuke didn't need to turn around to know that he was gone. He continued walking until another familiar figure materialized in front of him, out of the shadows.
"Saito," Sanosuke scowled. "What do you want? I trust it's no coincidence that you're out here tonight?"
"It's not," Saito agreed. "I took an interest in the man who was stalking around the Kamiya Kashin Dojo, young fledgling. I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."
"Bet you could," Sanosuke scoffed.
"And for once you would win money for that," Saito agreed.
"So what do you want? I'm not going to Kyoto so there's no point in fighting me again."
"In beating you again, you mean," Saito corrected. Sanosuke glared but didn't speak, so Saito continued. "I've seen what you've been doing to Himura's woman. Why?"
"Why what? Why am I doing what I am? Because she's my friend, and Kenshin's my friend, and I'm making sure that when Kenshin comes back, Kaoru will still be here for him to come back to."
"So you harrass her and keep her angry every waking hour?"
"Better she's angry and bitching than sad and sobbing," Sanosuke responded. "Do you really have anything to say to me, or can I leave? I'm tired. You don't know how straining it is on the mind to keep that woman angry."
"I suppose it can be stressing on the body as well," Saito commented. "She made you bleed an awful lot, Sanosuke Sagara."
Normally this conversation would be making Sanosuke furious. Right now he was too tired to care too much. "If I'm successful, she'll make me bleed even more tomorrow," he said, smothering a yawn in his hand.
"Then you had better get your rest, fledgling," Saito didn't quite sneer at Sanosuke. "One thing that I can commend you on, though, is your diplomacy."
"I hate diplomacy," Sanosuke wasn't really thinking as he spoke. "You know what's wrong with diplomacy? Diplomats!"
"I think that you may have convinced Aoshi to join the fight against Shishio. If not, he's not too far from being convinced. If so, you've done Himura quite a service."
"What are friends for?" Sanosuke fought against another yawn. "May I leave without being beaten for insolence? Or do you have anything else to say?"
"Fly back to your nest, fledgling," Saito turned away. "Careful not to fall from the sky on your way there."
"I won't. And next time you come around here we'll have to fight again. I'll have gotten in enough training by then to catch up with you guys who were old enough to take a real stand during the revolution."
"Of course, fledgling."
"If you want to go to Kyoto that much then go. Hurry up and get yourself killed," Saito sneered and turned away.
Sanosuke glared after him, ignoring the banter exchanged between Yahiko and his friend. How dare Kenshin treat him as a weakness?! How dare he treat all his friends as weaknesses?! "That's not how it works," Sanosuke said out loud.
"What?" Yahiko asked.
"Friendship," Sanosuke scowled into empty space. "Kenshin called us his comrades. But he thought of us as his weaknesses so he left all three of us behind. That's not friendship. That's. . . annoying as hell. Yahiko!"
"What?" Yahiko repeated.
"What were you saying about Kaoru?"
"She's a wreck," Yahiko responded promptly. "She needs help."
Sanosuke nodded grimly and fished the money he'd just borrowed out of his jacket. "I won't be going to Kyoto. Thanks anyway," he tossed the bag back to his friend, picked up his bag, and turned on the road leading to the Kamiya Kashin dojo.
The woman from the beef stew restaurant and Yahiko's friend were trying to talk Kaoru around when Sanosuke and Yahiko returned to the dojo. They were trying to be nice and get her to get on with her life gently. The poor girl had just had the person she cared about most in the world removed from her life. It wasn't the first time this had happened to her, Sanosuke knew. The girl had lost her parents and then all her students. The only decent thing to do was to politely and gently encourage her to move on, right?
Wrong. Sanosuke knew better.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF BED RIGHT NOW YOU UGLY, WHINING WENCH!" Sanosuke ordered. When Kaoru didn't make any attempt to carry out Sanosuke's order, Sanosuke grabbed the bottom quilt that she was laying on and yanked it out from under her.
"Ow!" Kaoru whined.
"Stop being such a wimp," Sanosuke snarled. "Not get up!"
"Mr. Sanosuke," The Beef Stew Woman put a hand of Sanosuke's elbow. "I think you should be nicer to her. Someone she loved just left her-"
"I think you should shut up and get back to your restaurant," Sanosuke told the woman.
"Why are you being like this? Is it because we wouldn't let you borrow any money?" Tae demanded.
Sanosuke glared at her. "Come with me. Outside. Kaoru, if you're not on your feet when I come back in, you won't like the consequences." He stalked out of the room with the waitresses at his heels. "You think Kaoru's going to get any better if you bleeding hearts keep pampering her like a lap dog?" he demanded.
"You think she's going to get better if you treat her like dirt?" Tae asked in return.
"I'm not treating her like dirt. I'm treating her like an annoying woman who's fallen too far into the well of self pity to simply be able to grab onto a bucket while other annoying women try to pull her out. Pulling her out by her hair is a much faster and effective way, and not only will it make her better, it will make her stronger," Sanosuke snarled. "I know what I'm doing, woman. Trust me."
"I have no reason trust you Mr. Sanosuke. I'm sorry but-"
"I considered Kenshin my friend. I still consider Kaoru my friend, even though she can't cook anything edible to save her life. I'm not going to sit around and watch while she wastes away. As a friend of both Kenshin and Kaoru, it's my duty to make sure that the one who Kenshin cared the most about is still around for him to come back to if he ever decides to come back." Sanosuke crossed his arms across his chest. "I can see you're not satisfied, and normally I wouldn't care. But since Kaoru's your friend too, I'll make you a deal. In five days Kaoru, Yahiko, and I will come to your restaurant, and I guarentee you, you'll hardly know anything was ever wrong with Kaoru."
"I-"
"Scat," Sanosuke waved a hand at Tae and her charge. "We'll see you in five days and I have a lot of work to do between now and then. Now go." He glared at the waitresses until they turned away, then looked to Yahiko. "Stop trying to spy behind those pannels and make yourself useful. Go draw a bucket of water from the well."
Kaoru curled up into a ball on the floor after her visitors walked out of her room. It was too much trouble to get back into bed. Everything was too much trouble now. All Kaoru wanted was Kenshin, and by now he was long gone. Some time passed. Kaoru didn't know how much and didn't really care. Nothing mattered without Kenshin.
Footsteps sounded on the mats, but Kaoru didn't move. Not until she found herself soaked in cold water, at least. "What?!" she demanded, looking up. Anger cut through her haze of self pity, and increased three fold when she saw Sanosuke standing over her with a bucket in one hand and a cocky smile on his face. "You jerk!" she snapped, narrowing her eyes. "What did you do that for?!"
The smirk on Sanosuke's face grew even more annoying. "Because I felt like it."
"You!"
"Whatcha gonna do about it?" Sanosuke asked, raising his eyebrows at her. "Sit on the floor in that puddle of water looking ugly? You should clean it up. It's a woman's job, anyway."
"Jerk," Kaoru crawled out of the puddle that was quickly disappearing into the woven rice mats on the floor. "Just leave me alone."
"Why? So you can sleep your life away? I don't think so. Or have you finally realized that the world is a worse place when you show your ugly mug and you've decided to keep it hidden behind in this room forever?"
"Leave me alone," Kaoru groaned and buried her face in her hands. "You don't know what it's like."
"And I hope I never do. If I was as ugly as you are, I don't think I could stand it. I'd find myself a good, durable mask and never take it off."
"You're so mean," Kaoru moaned.
"At least I'm not ugly," was Sanosuke's next quip. Kaoru didn't respond again. She burried her face in her hands and began to sob. "Oh, yes! Cry about it, Kaoru," Sanosuke jeered. "Cry about it some more. Make your face even uglier by adding redness to your crossed eyes and bloating your skin! Cry about it!"
"SHUT UP!" Kaoru screamed.
"Don't stop! Cry some more!" Sanosuke was merciless. "Don't look up from your hands. Keep that ugly face burried in them where it belongs. And cry some more!"
"You heartless fiend!" Kaoru jumped to her feet.
"Heartless fiend?" Sanosuke asked incredulously. "Can't you come up with something better than that?"
"You monster!" Kaoru cried. "You cruel beast."
"Is that the best you can do? Your insults are as pathetic as your looks, Kaoru." Her tormentor rolled his eyes. "Even Yahiko can insult someone better than you, and he's just a kid. I know rocks who can think up better names to call people."
"Bastard!" Kaoru screeched.
"That's a little better, but it's so unoriginal," Sanosuke told her.
"Son of a bitch!"
"Now that insult is ridiculously over-used. Like I've been saying, be original. Call me something like-"
"Male whore!" Kaoru shrieked.
"That's more like it," Sanosuke smiled, "Albeit that was uncalled for. What did I ever do to be called a male whore?"
"You threw water on me," Kaoru wrung out her hair.
"That was justified. You were starting to smell."
"It's been less than twenty-four hours since I last had a batch! I was not smelling!" Kaoru snapped.
"You were smelling. You still are smelling. You need a bath." Sanosuke sighed. "How about this; I'll light the fire outside the bath house and keep it going, and you wash your ugly face and get rid of that gods awful stench? Then you can make yourself useful and cook us some breakfast. Then you need to help that aprentice of yours with his training. He's not going to get any stronger if all his teacher does is mope about like a sick dog- even if she looks like one." Sanosuke had to dodge to avoid being hit by a flying shoe. "That was uncalled for as well. Not only are you ugly, you're also rude."
"I'M rude?!" Kaoru demanded.
"And ugly. Don't forget ugly," Sanosuke reminded her.
Kaoru attacked. She didn't have a sword, but somewhere along the line she'd learned how to punch correctly. Sanosuke didn't bother blocking her attacks. She was nowhere near as strong as he was and therefore couldn't really hurt him. Plus, she needed someone to beat up on right not. Sanosuke didn't mind being her punching bag for awhile if she needed someone to take out her anger on. She was a friend, and she needed help.
"Ah!" Sanosuke gasped as Kaoru landed a punch on his injured shoulder. After reopening that would in his squirmish with Saito, the stab wound hurt like hell. Sanosuke's eyes actually dimmed when Kaoru hit it a second time. Another punch to his stomach, then Kaoru punched him in his injured shoulder again. The woman punched hard! "That's enough now, Kaoru," Sanosuke stepped back. "We're getting blood all over your mats."
"What?" Kaoru came out of her fit and stared. Blood had splattered from Sanosuke's wound whenever she punched it, spraying it onto both their faces, staining Kaoru's hands, and dripping onto the mats beneath them. "Oh my. . ." Kaoru put one hand over her mouth without thinking. As soon as she realized that she was getting Sanosuke's blood all over her lips, she jerked her hand away. "I'm sorry Sanosuke. I'm so sorry. . ."
"You didn't do anything, save give your mats an unnecessary paint job. But now you really need to get a bath. Come on." When Kaoru didn't move, Sanosuke reached out to grab her and pull her behind him. Unexpectedly, Kaoru put her hand in his. He blinked at this, but mentally shrugged it off quickly. "You need to wash your hands at the well first. Then you need to get clean clothes to change into after you bath, so you won't have to walk sky clad back to your room."
"There are robes in the bathroom," Kaoru told him. "You need that wound checked and cleaned, though."
"No, I don't. You need to get a bath," Sanosuke led Kaoru to the Kamiya Dojo's bath house. "Go on inside. The water's clean- I just had Yahiko fill it. I'll see to the fire so that it will be warm." Sanosuke was mildly suprised that Kaoru did as she was told, then realized that she was probably obeying him because she felt guilty about making him bleed. She hadn't really hurt him- Sanosuke doubted than any women were capable of hurting him. They were capable of annoying him though, and Sanosuke had the feeling that before he was able to get Kaoru back to normal, she was going to annoy the hell out of him.
"Sanosuke!" Yahiko's eyes widened as he saw the amount of blood on Sanosuke.
"The little lady punches harder than I gaver her credit for," Sanosuke managed a laugh. It sounded fake, but he didn't laugh often enough for Yahiko to know that it was fake. "I see you've started the fire already," Sanosuke changed the subject.
"Yeah," Yahiko carefully placed another log onto the fire. "Kaoru hasn't been looking too good ever since Kenshin left. If making sure her bath is warm is the only thing I can do to make her feel better, then I'll gladly do it."
"Don't be like that," Sanosuke said sharply.
"Huh?"
"Right now the worst thing we can do for Kaoru is to be nice and sympathetic to her. She'll never get better if we continue to let her drown in self pity and pamper her. Right now angering her will give her more strength than being kind and caring to her. Make her mad, Yahiko. Make her scream in anger and act like her old annoying self. Once her anger kills her self pity, then we can begin to encourage her. Understand?"
"Yeah. I guess," Yahiko scratched his head.
"Keep the fire going for Kaoru. I need to wash this blood off me."
Kaoru felt terrible. Sanosuke hadn't deserved the pummeling she gave him no matter how annoying the stupid oaf was. There had been so much blood on both of them. Had Sanosuke had any blood on his jacket before she'd begun to hit him? Kaoru couldn't remember. Had she single handedly reopened the wound that could have killed him?
The water in the bath was warm, as though the fire had been heating the water for awhile, but Kaoru didn't allow herself the luxary of enjoying it. She felt too terrible about everything. Kenshin was gone, maybe forever. If he turned into the Battosai again, she was sure that he'd be lost to her forever. And Sanosuke was injured, and she hadn't helped him in the least by making him bleed. Hadn't the former fighter-for-hire lost enough blood in the past few days?
"Everything's so messed up," Kaoru sighed as she climbed out of the tub and pulled a robe out of one of the cupboards. She put it on without bothering to dry herself, tied it quickly, and left the bathroom. "I'm finished," she announced, looking around for Sanosuke. "Why don't you get a bath now? The water's clean enough-"
"I don't need a bath," Yahiko told her.
"Where's Sanosuke? I was trying to talk to him," Kaoru said.
"He went to the well to wash up. But he said it wasn't his blood that he needed to wash off- it was your cooties," Yahiko told her. "I can sympathize with him you know-"
"Shut up, you insubordinate little brat!" Kaoru snapped, turning toward the well. Sanosuke wasn't there, but he had left his jacket on the ground beside the well. It was badly stained, and it would be hard work to get the blood out, but it was possible. Kaoru picked it up and folded it over her arm, then went to look for Sanosuke again.
She found him in her room, scrubbing his blood off of her mats. He'd bandaged his injured shoulder.
"Sanosuke?"
Sanosuke started, then jumped to his feet, trying to hide the piece of bandage he was using as a rag behind his back. "Now what? Shouldn't you be cooking breakfast, woman?" he demanded.
"It's almost noon time!" Kaoru snapped. "And why do you always come here expecting to be fed, you pig?!"
"Pig now, is it?" Sanosuke asked. "That's an insult used by six-year-olds with vocabularies limited to about two hundred words. And the first meal of the day is called breakfast. It's not my fault that you were so lazy that you refused to get out of bed and get your work done. Now go cook something before you get any more behind schedule!"
"I don't take orders from you!" Kaoru snapped. "And I'm not hungry!" Just then her stomach growled.
"Not hungry, huh?" Sanosuke sneered. "Yeah. And I'm a cat."
"No, you're a cow!"
"You have advancted to seven-year-old insults," Sanosuke clapped his hands, mockingly applauding her. His eyes widened suddenly. "But do you know what a cow is?"
Kaoru's face turned red with anger. "Of course I know what a cow is!"
"Then spout it out right now," Sanosuke ordered.
"Huh? Uh. . ."
"Don't even know what a cow is," Sanosuke said with a smug grin.
"Takes one to know one," Kaoru shot back.
"Not bad," her tormentor said with what sounded like approval. "Now go cook breakfast."
"How many times do I have to tell you?! I don't take orders from you!" Kaoru screamed.
"Then don't cook," Sanosuke shrugged. And winced. The movement must have stretched the skin around his wound. He didn't make his wince obvious- in fact Kaoru doubted she would have noticed that Sanosuke was in pain if she hadn't known what to look for. But she had. And maybe it was her fault that Sanosuke was in pain. Maybe she had delayed his healing by reopening his wound. The least she could do to make up for that was to make sure that Sanosuke had a few healthy, if not tasty meals under his belt so that his strength returned.
"I'm doing it because I want to, not because you told me to," Kaoru said defiantly, turning away.
After Kaoru served a lunch to her two friends that Sanosuke was sure was some sort of poison, Kaoru began to lapse back into depression. Sanosuke was not about to stand for that though. By teasing her, jeering at her, and blatantly insulting her, he was able to get Kaoru to train with Yahiko, weed her garden, and throw rocks at him. Then it was time for her to cook dinner.
Ever after, Sanosuke would shudder at the thought of that dinner. It was Kaoru's way of getting revenge on him for all he had done to annoy her that day, with enough left to carry over what he did to her that night.
Sanosuke pretended to leave, but snuck back into the dojo after Kaoru went to bed. He waited until he heard her start to sob softly in her room, then quickly left to find half a dozen stray cats. He put them in a crate and moved the crate onto the roof of Kaoru's room. The sounds of the cat fight drifted down to her and interrupted her crying. It went on and on for half the night, making Kaoru angrier and angrier until she'd finally had enough.
"Damn cats!" she screamed, charging out of her room, wooden sword in hand. Sanosuke grabbed the crate of cats and lept onto the wall surrounding the dojo, then over it, into the street below, where he got a surprise.
"Aoshi," Sanosuke hissed, tossing the crate of cats. It shattered and the cats escaped. "What are you doing, creeping around here in the middle of the night?"
"I could ask you the same question," Aoshi reguarded Sanosuke coolly. "After all, perhaps I am just walking casually to a tavern. You, on the other hand, are scaleing walls with a crate full of alley cats. Which one of us is really more suspicious?"
Sanosuke gave a cold laugh. "The cats were to keep Kaoru, assistant master of this school, awake and angry. The reasons that I want her to be that way are confidential. I suppose your reasons for prowling around this school are confidential as well?"
"I have been waiting for the Battosai," Aoshi stated. "Where is he?"
"At the moment? I have no idea," Sanosuke leaned against the wall. "But if you're looking for him, you're wasting your time hanging around here. He left- he left Kaoru miserable. We do not know when he's coming back, if he ever is."
Aoshi's eyes narrowed. "Where has he gone?"
"To knock off some guy named Shishio for the government," Sanosuke spat on the ground. "Damn the government. You want to know what the problem with the government is? Those damn government officials!"
"Your qualms against the government are not my problem," Aoshi told the ex-fighter-for-hire. "What I want to know is where the Battosai is going."
"So you can challenge him?" Sanosuke crossed his arms. "Don't answer that, I already know the answer. Have you ever heard of this Shishio guy?"
"I have," Aoshi glared at Sanosuke.
"You like him?"
"Mere words cannot express the extent of my dislike for him. However, it is the Battosai that I want to challenge, not his successor."
"You think the world would be a better place if Shishio bit the dust?"
"Tell me where the Battosai is, or I will kill you," Aoshi said softly.
"I already told you, at the moment, I have no idea where he is. Eventually, he will be in Kyoto. You could probably catch up to him on the road if you hurried. He's got more than twenty-four hours on you," Sanosuke sighed. "However, even if you don't want to challenge Shishio, you might as well do it while you're in Kyoto- if you want the title of the best, that is. Some people have been saying that Shishio's stronger than Kenshin. Wouldn't it suck to beat Kenshin only to discover that he was no longer thought of as the most powerful? You'd have to go kill another guy as well."
"You're trying to recruit me to help the Battosai in his crusade against his successor?" Aoshi sounded amused.
"Of course not," Sanosuke put his hands behind his head. "You're going to do whatever you want no matter what I say." Kaoru's angry curses at the cats made him wince. "I'm getting out of here before that crazy broad comes outside the wall. See you around, Aoshi- and good hunting."
Aoshi didn't respond. Sanosuke didn't need to turn around to know that he was gone. He continued walking until another familiar figure materialized in front of him, out of the shadows.
"Saito," Sanosuke scowled. "What do you want? I trust it's no coincidence that you're out here tonight?"
"It's not," Saito agreed. "I took an interest in the man who was stalking around the Kamiya Kashin Dojo, young fledgling. I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."
"Bet you could," Sanosuke scoffed.
"And for once you would win money for that," Saito agreed.
"So what do you want? I'm not going to Kyoto so there's no point in fighting me again."
"In beating you again, you mean," Saito corrected. Sanosuke glared but didn't speak, so Saito continued. "I've seen what you've been doing to Himura's woman. Why?"
"Why what? Why am I doing what I am? Because she's my friend, and Kenshin's my friend, and I'm making sure that when Kenshin comes back, Kaoru will still be here for him to come back to."
"So you harrass her and keep her angry every waking hour?"
"Better she's angry and bitching than sad and sobbing," Sanosuke responded. "Do you really have anything to say to me, or can I leave? I'm tired. You don't know how straining it is on the mind to keep that woman angry."
"I suppose it can be stressing on the body as well," Saito commented. "She made you bleed an awful lot, Sanosuke Sagara."
Normally this conversation would be making Sanosuke furious. Right now he was too tired to care too much. "If I'm successful, she'll make me bleed even more tomorrow," he said, smothering a yawn in his hand.
"Then you had better get your rest, fledgling," Saito didn't quite sneer at Sanosuke. "One thing that I can commend you on, though, is your diplomacy."
"I hate diplomacy," Sanosuke wasn't really thinking as he spoke. "You know what's wrong with diplomacy? Diplomats!"
"I think that you may have convinced Aoshi to join the fight against Shishio. If not, he's not too far from being convinced. If so, you've done Himura quite a service."
"What are friends for?" Sanosuke fought against another yawn. "May I leave without being beaten for insolence? Or do you have anything else to say?"
"Fly back to your nest, fledgling," Saito turned away. "Careful not to fall from the sky on your way there."
"I won't. And next time you come around here we'll have to fight again. I'll have gotten in enough training by then to catch up with you guys who were old enough to take a real stand during the revolution."
"Of course, fledgling."