Chapter 6 – Saved By the Litter Box
"Ooooo. Look, our Alpo Lancelot saves the fair feline Guinevere from harm." Q turned toward Malcolm. "Come to think of it, Mordred did not come to a good end in that story, Malcolm. You might want to recast yourself as the stalwart friend. They tend to live longer." Q paused, struck a pose as if he was in deep thought, and with his palm under his chin, started tapping his temple with his index finger. "Then again, Patrocles didn't make it to see the fall of Troy. And there was that character played by Harry Connick in Independence Day – saw that one coming a mile away. Or Sean Connery's 1st officer that wanted to move to Montana in Hunt for the Red October. Now that I think of it, stalwart friends don't have a good survival track record either. You should thank you're lucky stars that security crew don't wear red shirts on Enterprise yet. You'd be a goner by the end of this chapter."
Porthos growled at Q and then made to walk toward Jon and past Q. But just as he was about to walk past Q, Trip lifted a leg and let Q have it…with both kidneys. It was a relief on multiple levels. The Captain had been too preoccupied with the events of the day to take Porthos for a walk.
Q's gaze was still fixed in Malcolm's direction. Q was not alerted to the situation until the dog had completed his circuit around Q and returned to sit at the base of the warp core with as much satisfaction as a Beagle could muster under any given situation and a chuckle rose from the surrounding audience.
"Dogs can be such good judges of character." Q was momentarily speechless at being bested by a dog. Before anyone had an opportunity to react, the cat jumped from the top of the warp core next to Porthos, meowed – and licked him on the side of his furry little head.
The humans heard a me-ow, but Trip heard, "My hero!" And his mouth fell open into a very wide doggy grin indeed.
Recovering, Q plucked at his damp pant leg and moaned, "The sacrifices that I make on behalf of the crews of the Enterprise and interspecies harmony." And in a flash, he was gone.
@@@@@@
The beagle had made it very clear that he was not going to be separated from the cat. So the first step of the day was to take both animals to see Dr. Phlox. Other than exhaustion, both animals had missed several naps that day, the animals seemed to be the normal earth creatures that they appeared to be. Phlox did note that there seemed to be something odd about their brain scans. He planned to review their scans later that day and do some research. He released both animals into the Captain's custody.
"Oh and captain, you may want to acquire a box and fill it with dried bits of hydrous silicate of aluminum – she'll need it soon."
It took Archer a moment to figure out that the doctor was referring to a litter box. Both animals looked tuckered out. So he made arrangements for someone in engineering to fabricate a litter box and deliver it to his quarters. Then he placed the cat on his shoulder and picked Porthos up in his arms, carrying them of both to his quarters. He dropped them off, admonishing both to behave themselves while he was gone and proceeded to the bridge.
"The Captain's final instructions sounded remarkably like those that he gives to us when we are in our bipedal forms," remarked T'Pol as she sat grooming on the edge of the bed.
Trip was sniffing the bed in the area that he intended to lie on and circled it thoughtfully three times before dropping down to rest. "Yeah, I'm beginning to realize what a pain in the ass we can be at times. We work better when were workin' together."
They had finally come up with a plan. Trip had picked up a stylus from the captain's table and typed up a simple message on the PADD that he left on his desk. "Dog/cat =Trip/TPOL. Q did it." Not the most erudite explanation, but try typing with something stickin' outta you mouth, he griped to himself. The PADD had fallen to the floor as Trip had struggled to type the message. Trip checked and it was still on the screen. T'Pol had written an SOS in the litter box that would hopefully help them get Jon's attention so that they could lead him to the PADD.
There had only been a slight snag while they were waiting.
Porthos had heard something that sounded suspiciously like digging. Then T'Pol appeared in the bathroom doorway.
"Uh, T'Pol. Did you just use the litter box again? Ummm, did you remember to rewrite the SOS?" T'Pol shook her head and turned to repair the damage.
"You are quite good at thinking like an animal, Commander."
Instead of taking offense as usual, Trip favored her with as close to a leer as a beagle's face could manage. "Darlin' Human males have been thinkin' like animals since they climbed outta the primordial ooze."
"In that case, I'm am pleased that I have you as a companion in this…adventure."
T'Pol returned from the bathroom a few minutes later. Trip thought she looked like she was on her last paws. "Come on T'Pol. The Captain wouldn't begrudge us a little shuteye. It's been a long damn day."
Trip jumped onto the Captain's bed and nestled into the center. T'Pol contemplated the dog before her and then jumped up as well. What surprised Trip was that she headed straight toward him, gave his head a few licks as he closed his eyes. Oh boy, he thought, I wouldn't mind coming back as the Captain's dog under these circumstances.
As she curled between his front and back legs and laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes, Trip lifted his head and looked at her. Bemused, he said, "Uh, T'Pol. Your OK with this arrangement?"
Without opening her eyes, she responded, "Blame it on feline instincts."
"Good enough for me," he sighed with satisfaction and curled around her a little tighter and gave her forehead a quick lick. The both slept soundly.
Archer returned to see both animals curled up and soundly asleep. What did surprise him was found in the bathroom. Checking to see if he needed to do some scooping, he was startled to see what seemed to spell out an SOS. Archer, you're loosing it, he thought. Maybe worrying about his two senior officers was getting the better of him. He approached the sink and contemplated the haggard reflection in the mirror. He splashed some water on his face and returned to the living area. He found his PADD on the floor and turned it on to make sure that it was not damaged.
Enlightenment soon followed. As did Q.
"About time that you figured this out. I'd like to be around when you and your Chief Engineer talk about scratching his belly. That should be interesting."
"Turn them back Q. Now. I mean it."
"Hmm. I have to give this some thought. The writers depend on me to get them out of trouble from time to time. Whatever would they have done if I had not introduced the Borg? Movie revenues, toy licensing? I ask you?"
"Borg?"
"Uh, forget I said that. You're going to get into enough trouble on your own without opening that particular cube of worms. Hmmm, I think the writers will have more fun if Spot was a female. We sure did? Didn't we? Back she goes." Q waved his arm in the general direction of the pair sleeping on the bed. "Viola"
The pair stirred slightly on the bed, but remained asleep.
The Captain's dog was now at his feet wagging his tail appreciatively. Archer glared at the being before him and through gritted teeth growled softly. "Clothes… NOW!"
"Et tu Jonathan? You Starfleet Captains take all the fun out of being an omnipotent being." And with that Q disappeared, leaving two fully clothed bridge officers napping in the center of the Captain's bed.
THE END
Question: Spot - Male or Female?
Answer: Yes, actually both…
Spot (played by the feline actor Liberty) made it through almost 3 seasons from his debut in season 4 with his masculinity intact. His last episode as a male, "Phantasms" included the hilarious scene of Data instructing Worf on the care and feeding of said cat:
Data: "And you must talk to him. Tell him he is a pretty cat and a good cat."
Worf: "I will feed him."
Data: "Perhaps that will be enough."
Thirteen episodes later, viola as Q would say, Spot was giving birth to a litter of kittens in "Genesis."
So that is my little twist in the tail so to speak that I tripped over as I was researching one of the other stories. As always, my most sincere admiration to the STNG and STE writers who have delivered so many seasons of entertainment. No infringement intended. For more info about the pets of Star Trek, stop by this terrific site Section31.com and specifically:
http://www.section31.com/covert-com-122101.shtml
Hope you enjoyed my temporary insanity. Remember reviews, both critical and complimentary, are the catnip that keeps writers like me on this site, uhhhh – writing.
"Ooooo. Look, our Alpo Lancelot saves the fair feline Guinevere from harm." Q turned toward Malcolm. "Come to think of it, Mordred did not come to a good end in that story, Malcolm. You might want to recast yourself as the stalwart friend. They tend to live longer." Q paused, struck a pose as if he was in deep thought, and with his palm under his chin, started tapping his temple with his index finger. "Then again, Patrocles didn't make it to see the fall of Troy. And there was that character played by Harry Connick in Independence Day – saw that one coming a mile away. Or Sean Connery's 1st officer that wanted to move to Montana in Hunt for the Red October. Now that I think of it, stalwart friends don't have a good survival track record either. You should thank you're lucky stars that security crew don't wear red shirts on Enterprise yet. You'd be a goner by the end of this chapter."
Porthos growled at Q and then made to walk toward Jon and past Q. But just as he was about to walk past Q, Trip lifted a leg and let Q have it…with both kidneys. It was a relief on multiple levels. The Captain had been too preoccupied with the events of the day to take Porthos for a walk.
Q's gaze was still fixed in Malcolm's direction. Q was not alerted to the situation until the dog had completed his circuit around Q and returned to sit at the base of the warp core with as much satisfaction as a Beagle could muster under any given situation and a chuckle rose from the surrounding audience.
"Dogs can be such good judges of character." Q was momentarily speechless at being bested by a dog. Before anyone had an opportunity to react, the cat jumped from the top of the warp core next to Porthos, meowed – and licked him on the side of his furry little head.
The humans heard a me-ow, but Trip heard, "My hero!" And his mouth fell open into a very wide doggy grin indeed.
Recovering, Q plucked at his damp pant leg and moaned, "The sacrifices that I make on behalf of the crews of the Enterprise and interspecies harmony." And in a flash, he was gone.
@@@@@@
The beagle had made it very clear that he was not going to be separated from the cat. So the first step of the day was to take both animals to see Dr. Phlox. Other than exhaustion, both animals had missed several naps that day, the animals seemed to be the normal earth creatures that they appeared to be. Phlox did note that there seemed to be something odd about their brain scans. He planned to review their scans later that day and do some research. He released both animals into the Captain's custody.
"Oh and captain, you may want to acquire a box and fill it with dried bits of hydrous silicate of aluminum – she'll need it soon."
It took Archer a moment to figure out that the doctor was referring to a litter box. Both animals looked tuckered out. So he made arrangements for someone in engineering to fabricate a litter box and deliver it to his quarters. Then he placed the cat on his shoulder and picked Porthos up in his arms, carrying them of both to his quarters. He dropped them off, admonishing both to behave themselves while he was gone and proceeded to the bridge.
"The Captain's final instructions sounded remarkably like those that he gives to us when we are in our bipedal forms," remarked T'Pol as she sat grooming on the edge of the bed.
Trip was sniffing the bed in the area that he intended to lie on and circled it thoughtfully three times before dropping down to rest. "Yeah, I'm beginning to realize what a pain in the ass we can be at times. We work better when were workin' together."
They had finally come up with a plan. Trip had picked up a stylus from the captain's table and typed up a simple message on the PADD that he left on his desk. "Dog/cat =Trip/TPOL. Q did it." Not the most erudite explanation, but try typing with something stickin' outta you mouth, he griped to himself. The PADD had fallen to the floor as Trip had struggled to type the message. Trip checked and it was still on the screen. T'Pol had written an SOS in the litter box that would hopefully help them get Jon's attention so that they could lead him to the PADD.
There had only been a slight snag while they were waiting.
Porthos had heard something that sounded suspiciously like digging. Then T'Pol appeared in the bathroom doorway.
"Uh, T'Pol. Did you just use the litter box again? Ummm, did you remember to rewrite the SOS?" T'Pol shook her head and turned to repair the damage.
"You are quite good at thinking like an animal, Commander."
Instead of taking offense as usual, Trip favored her with as close to a leer as a beagle's face could manage. "Darlin' Human males have been thinkin' like animals since they climbed outta the primordial ooze."
"In that case, I'm am pleased that I have you as a companion in this…adventure."
T'Pol returned from the bathroom a few minutes later. Trip thought she looked like she was on her last paws. "Come on T'Pol. The Captain wouldn't begrudge us a little shuteye. It's been a long damn day."
Trip jumped onto the Captain's bed and nestled into the center. T'Pol contemplated the dog before her and then jumped up as well. What surprised Trip was that she headed straight toward him, gave his head a few licks as he closed his eyes. Oh boy, he thought, I wouldn't mind coming back as the Captain's dog under these circumstances.
As she curled between his front and back legs and laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes, Trip lifted his head and looked at her. Bemused, he said, "Uh, T'Pol. Your OK with this arrangement?"
Without opening her eyes, she responded, "Blame it on feline instincts."
"Good enough for me," he sighed with satisfaction and curled around her a little tighter and gave her forehead a quick lick. The both slept soundly.
Archer returned to see both animals curled up and soundly asleep. What did surprise him was found in the bathroom. Checking to see if he needed to do some scooping, he was startled to see what seemed to spell out an SOS. Archer, you're loosing it, he thought. Maybe worrying about his two senior officers was getting the better of him. He approached the sink and contemplated the haggard reflection in the mirror. He splashed some water on his face and returned to the living area. He found his PADD on the floor and turned it on to make sure that it was not damaged.
Enlightenment soon followed. As did Q.
"About time that you figured this out. I'd like to be around when you and your Chief Engineer talk about scratching his belly. That should be interesting."
"Turn them back Q. Now. I mean it."
"Hmm. I have to give this some thought. The writers depend on me to get them out of trouble from time to time. Whatever would they have done if I had not introduced the Borg? Movie revenues, toy licensing? I ask you?"
"Borg?"
"Uh, forget I said that. You're going to get into enough trouble on your own without opening that particular cube of worms. Hmmm, I think the writers will have more fun if Spot was a female. We sure did? Didn't we? Back she goes." Q waved his arm in the general direction of the pair sleeping on the bed. "Viola"
The pair stirred slightly on the bed, but remained asleep.
The Captain's dog was now at his feet wagging his tail appreciatively. Archer glared at the being before him and through gritted teeth growled softly. "Clothes… NOW!"
"Et tu Jonathan? You Starfleet Captains take all the fun out of being an omnipotent being." And with that Q disappeared, leaving two fully clothed bridge officers napping in the center of the Captain's bed.
THE END
Question: Spot - Male or Female?
Answer: Yes, actually both…
Spot (played by the feline actor Liberty) made it through almost 3 seasons from his debut in season 4 with his masculinity intact. His last episode as a male, "Phantasms" included the hilarious scene of Data instructing Worf on the care and feeding of said cat:
Data: "And you must talk to him. Tell him he is a pretty cat and a good cat."
Worf: "I will feed him."
Data: "Perhaps that will be enough."
Thirteen episodes later, viola as Q would say, Spot was giving birth to a litter of kittens in "Genesis."
So that is my little twist in the tail so to speak that I tripped over as I was researching one of the other stories. As always, my most sincere admiration to the STNG and STE writers who have delivered so many seasons of entertainment. No infringement intended. For more info about the pets of Star Trek, stop by this terrific site Section31.com and specifically:
http://www.section31.com/covert-com-122101.shtml
Hope you enjoyed my temporary insanity. Remember reviews, both critical and complimentary, are the catnip that keeps writers like me on this site, uhhhh – writing.