Vampgirl7996: (from shadows) Welcome to the Vampire Diaries "Whatever" Show.
Damon: (sitting in chair) The what?
Vampgirl7996: The Vampire Diaries "Whatever" Show.
Elena: (sitting in chair next to Damon) It…sounds interesting.
Stefan: (sitting in chair next to Elena) It sounds lame.
Stefan crumples to the floor, screaming in agony.
Elena: What's going on? What's wrong with him?
Vampgirl7996: I'm torturing him with my mind. I'm forcing twenty tumors to go through his brain at the moment.
Damon: How can you do that? Who are you?
Vampgirl7996: I'm the creator, Vampgirl7996. I can do whatever I want. It's my world. No consequences.
Damon: That's hot.
Vampgirl7996: Why, thank you. And thank you, Elena, for not dissing my show. Stefan!
Elena: No problem!
Stefan: COULD YOU STOP TORTURING ME? IT BURNS MY BRAIN!
Vampgirl7996: FINE! If it'll get you to shut up! (Stops)
Stefan: Thank you. (Says while glaring and gets back into his chair)
Vampgirl7996: Don't expect me to do it again. Now, on with the show.
Elena: What exactly is the purpose of this show?
Vampgirl7996: Well, people come on, give suggestions, ask questions, give dares, torture people—
All but V: WHAT?
Vampgirl7996: Don't worry! If no one asks for it, none is dealt.
Stefan: Why are we here?
Vampgirl7996: Don't get snooty! Yeesh!
Stefan: Snooty? Seriously?
Vampgirl7996: Is there something wrong with 'snooty'?
Damon: Stefan…
Elena: Don't say anything you'll regret…
Stefan: Well, it's old. Like you probably are.
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!
Elena: Uh-oh…
Damon: Stefan, you hypocrite. This is going to end badly.
Vampgirl7996 steps out of shadows, dressed in camouflage cargo pants, black cargo boots, and an olive green tank top, pointing a crossbow at Stefan. Damon and Elena stare at Vampgirl7996 in shock. Stefan looks nervous.
Vampgirl7996: Care to repeat that?
Stefan: (in a high voice) No.
Vampgirl7996: Good!
The arrow from Vampgirl's crossbow flies across the room right into Stefan's groin.
Stefan: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! WHY?
Vampgirl7996: Oops! My trigger finger slipped! Anyway, answering your earlier question, Stefan, the three of you are here, because you three are the main characters. I need your help to promote the show, so you're going to be here all the time. Yes, even you Stefan.
Stefan: (whimpers and pulls out the arrow)
Vampgirl7996: Now, on with the questions! (Sits in chair next to Damon)
Elena: What questions? This is the first chapter. There aren't any reviewers.
Vampgirl7996: That doesn't mean I don't have some questions of my own. However, we need more people here for that. So please, welcome…Klaus, Katherine, Caroline, Elijah, and Tyler!
Audience cheers as above enter, sitting in chairs provided.
Vampgirl7996: Welcome all of you. Now my first question is for Katherine. Why did you love Stefan?
Katherine: Well…he was sweet and kind. He made me feel special.
Vampgirl7996: If you love Stefan so much, why go after Damon?
Damon: I've been wondering that, too.
Stefan: As have I.
Katherine: Well…I guess I fell for him and his bad boy charms.
Klaus: Called it! Elijah, you owe me 1000$.
Elijah rolls his eyes and takes out a wad of cash, handing it to Klaus, who takes it and starts counting it.
Vampgirl7996: I don't even want to know. Anyhoo…
Stefan: Anyhoo?
Vampgirl7996: SILENCE!
Everyone, including audience, stares at Vampgirl in surprise.
Vampgirl7996: Sorry. When I get angry, excited, or frustrated, my big voice comes into play. Stefan, quit making fun of how I speak! I don't make fun of your horrible hair or your lack of fashion sense every time you walk into the room, do I? No! Now, as I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted, Katherine, we all know you've said that you only have truly loved Stefan, and that you never really loved Damon. Is this true?
Katherine:…
Vampgirl7996: Katherine?
Katherine:…
Vampgirl7996: Katherine?
Katherine:…
Vampgirl7996: Katherine?
Katherine: Yes?
Vampgirl7996: Is it true that you only really love Stefan and not Damon?
Audience leans forward in anticipation. Everyone in the room stares anxiously at Katherine, who slumps in chair.
Katherine: No, it's not true.
Vampgirl7996: I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!
Stefan: NOOOOOOOOO!
Damon just smirks in his chair with his arms crossed.
Vampgirl7996: Alright people, let's settle down.
Stefan is still crying.
Vampgirl7996: Stefan, shut up or I'll get out the javelin.
Caroline: Who keeps a javelin?
Vampgirl7996:…Moving on. So, Tyler, how would you describe your current relationship with Caroline?
Tyler: We're still very close. We're keeping our relationship going strong. I love her deeply.
Vampgirl7996: How nice…but you do know that Klaus has deep feelings for her and has been doting on her?
Tyler: What? Caroline?
Caroline: Tyler?
Tyler: Caroline?
Caroline: Tyler?
Tyler: Caroline?
Caroline: Tyler?
Damon: Damon!
Elena: Really, Damon?
Damon: What?
Vampgirl7996: You just had to do that didn't you?
Damon: You love it, like you love me!
Vampgirl7996: Can't argue with that!
Stefan: Why do you love him? Why not me?
Vampgirl7996: He's awesome and hot. You're lame and scrawny. Enough said. Next question.
Stefan: But—
Vampgirl7996: NEXT question! Klaus and Elijah, you both fell in love with the original doppelganger, correct?
Both: Yes.
Vampgirl7996: What was she like?
Elijah: She was very kind…
Klaus: But feisty too…
Elijah: She was gentle…
Klaus: But sometimes cranky…
Vampgirl7996: So pretty much, she was a mix of Katherine and Elena?
Elijah: Yeah, guess you could say that.
Vampgirl7996: Interesting. Well, we've run out of time.
Stefan: (murmurs under breath) Thank goodness!
Vampgirl takes out her crossbow, loads it, and fires at Stefan. Arrow pierces his groin once again.
Stefan: OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!
Vampgirl7996: Thanks for reading! Please review!