Non-Morning People (And Their Irritating Counterparts)

Morning arrives with hideously bright lights, fucking annoying birds chirping and three of the loudest boys in Hogwarts' seventh year wrestling noisily somewhere near the corner.

Let it never be said that Remus Lupin is a morning person.

'It cannot be later than 8am. And it is Saturday. Why the fucking fuck are you two wankers awake?'

This is a question that Remus finds himself asking too frequently, yet one that also never ceases to be necessary.

He cracks one eye open as little as possible, and discovers that, yes, there is indeed a pair of loud seventeen year olds wrestling in the corner, with another fairly rotund seventeen year old sat nearby cheering them both on equally. They all turn to look at Remus as he speaks, frozen in action just like in the Muggle cartoons that neither James nor Sirius understand the referencing of. Bloody pure-bloods.

Remus knows that now he is awake, he will not be able to get back to sleep. Partially due to his sodding brain that apparently hates him, and partially because he knows any second now there will be a great Sirius-shaped entity catapulted onto his until-recently sleeping body.

And oh yes, here comes the bastard now.

"Moony! You're awake!"

Sirius all but yells this statement, rushing excitedly over to Remus' bed at a speed that is unnatural for the too fucking early hour. Prongs is left abandoned on the floor, having been dropped instantaneously by Sirius and thusly emitting a rather painful 'oof' sound.

"Prongs and Wormtail wouldn't let me wake you up – something about grouchy werewolves who hate early-morning mutts – but now you are awake! Awake!"

Sirius is now hovering over Remus, forearms either side of Remus' head and legs straddling Remus' skinny hips. Remus lets out a puff of laughter that ghosts across Sirius' face, and leans swiftly upwards so as to lightly kiss the corner of Sirius' smiling mouth before resting his head back on the pillow. Remus hears Prongs' muttered 'no idea how I didn't figure out you two were fairies much sooner', but knows it comes with a smile and acceptance and so answers it with a lecherous wink in Prongs' direction.

Merlin; he has been spending way too much time up close and personal with Sirius.

"Well, I don't really understand their version of 'not waking Moony up' then, because my version does not generally encompass wrestling less than two feet away from said werewolf's bed."

Sirius only grins wider at this, still staring down into Remus' eyes as if he is still astounded that he is allowed to gaze so gratuitously. Remus stares right back, thinking the exact same sentiment.

"He called Evans a troll,' pipes up Wormtail, now sitting cross-legged beside James.

"Sirius would do the same if I ever said anything like that about you," chimes in James.

Sirius' comment of "too fucking right" mixes with Remus' defiant "I'm not a fucking woman, you twats!"

"Alright, alright! No need to get your knickers in a twist, mon petit werewolf," James continues, looking outrageously smug at having irritated Remus.

Sirius lowers his body onto Remus until they are flush together, touching at every place possible, and replies to James in a throaty voice that Remus is all too familiar with.

"I can assure you, Prongsie my dear, that my Moony is all man."

Sirius rounds off this retort with a cackle, joined immediately by Remus, having caught the horrified look on both James and Peter's faces. Sirius takes the opportunity to drop a sticky, open-mouthed kiss to Remus' neck.

Both James and Peter let out loud affronted protests as they shoot quickly to their feet, hastily advancing towards the door with the excuse of 'breakfast'.

After the door shuts, Sirius and Remus explode into irrevocable mirth. This obviously means moving, and moving whilst one lies atop of the other means a part of each of their anatomies becoming increasingly attentive.

Sirius gazes down at Remus, his expression torn between the leer he wants to wear and a genuine smile that Remus provokes in him. It is an expression that Remus loves in particular; it makes him feel secure and special.

"Padfoot, they're gone now, you can get off," Remus explains, praying to God that Sirius will continue their routine of entirely rebuffing Remus' attempts at sensibility.

"Well, as you said, my dear Moony, it is no later than 8am and it is Saturday. Therefore you have at least an hour to debauch me thoroughly whilst those gits are gone, and you damn well better use the time you are given effectively."

With this Sirius ducks his head and covers his mouth over Remus', silencing any futile protests Remus may try to give, laughing into Remus' mouth as he does so.

Okay; let it sometimes be said that Remus Lupin is a morning person.