Chapter 17: Battles of the Mind and Soul

Kakashi grimaced as he clutched his wounded arm.

"Stay still and take it like a man," Kurenai snapped as she applied a bandage to the man's arm. The two were sat watching over their Genin as Asuma and Shikamaru argued strategy. Jiraiya had gathered all of the available forces to discuss a plan while Naruto kept Orochimaru busy.

The Invaders had been defeated, thanks to the assistance of Suna and the skill of the Konoha forces. Now all that was left was to patch everyone up and sort out the giant snake.

"Ouch!" Kakashi whined, "Can't you be a little more careful?"

"How about no?" Kurenai tightened the bandage earning a curse of pain from Kakashi.

"Any news from Jiraiya?" Kakashi asked.

"No," Kurenai shook her head as she finished bandaging the Jounin, "All I know is that Naruto is still alive, and the Kyuubi is still there."

"That is obvious to everyone," Gaara stated simply as he approached the two. "I bring news that Naruto is low on Chakra though, and it looks as if the Kyuubi is just about finished.

"And Anko?" Kakashi asked.

Gaara frowned.

"MUHAHAHA!" Anko grinned evilly as she plunged another kunai into the scaled hide of Orochimaru.

"Get a grip woman!" Naruto growled as he raced towards the head, Kyuubi-Kei biting into Orochimaru's flesh.

They had leapt from Kyuubi to deal as much damage as possible to the giant snake, hoping to force him to release his soul, but no matter how much damage they dealt, Orochimaru just regenerated.

"He can't have many followers left," Naruto muttered as he brought Kyuubi-Kei around in a wide arc, "Amaterasu!" The black flames clung to the snake, but seemed to have next to no effect on the creature.

"You are like little gnats…" Orochimaru shook his body furiously, trying to dislodge the two nin, who held on like grim death.

"Rasengan!" Naruto slammed his palm into the monster, hoping to drill his way through the body, but Orochimaru's scales were far harder than any organic material had right to be.

"This is getting old," Anko drew a Kunai and smeared a pasty white poison on it, before plunging the poisoned Kunai into Orochimaru's hide.

"CHAKRA BLAST!" Kyuubi launched another blast of Chakra at Orochimaru, tearing a huge chunk out of the giant snake before it simply regenerated.

"YOU NEARLY HIT ME!" Naruto roared as he continued climbing the scaled skin to reach Orochimaru's head.

"Damn…I missed, I mean oh I am sorry," Kyuubi responded.

"Tch," Naruto focused on the head of the giant snake. "I only get one shot at this." He reached into his pockets and pulled out a three pronged kunai, which he had taken from the crater where Minato was defeated and threw it, aiming for the giant snake's eye. He was rewarded with a foul shriek as his attack connected. "Hiraishin no Jutsu!" Naruto raced up the snake in a yellow blur and arrived on Orochimaru's head, staggering slightly. The Jutsu always did use up a lot of Chakra and made you incredibly dizzy.

In hind sight using a Jutsu that required several moments to recover from using was not such a good idea, as in the instant Naruto staggered, he was thrown into the air by Orochimaru then swallowed whole.

"Oh crap…" Kyuubi scowled and dismissed herself, allowing her to channel what little Chakra she had remaining into healing Naruto.

"Huh?" Anko realised that the odds had taken a drastic change for the worse and leapt to inform the village of the change in events.

'Well this is down right disgusting.' Naruto scowled as he took in his surroundings. He was sat on a wet spongy surface. Various lumps of pulsing flesh surrounded him and provided an eerie green illumination.

"Gross," Naruto used Kyuubi-Kei to cut away the flesh that hat started to crawl up his body but watched as the cut flesh recovered as Naruto stepped away.

"Who goes there?" Naruto yelled as he sensed someone approaching.

There was no reply.

"Damn it," Naruto scowled. 'I am too low on Chakra to consider anything super powerful…although I would love to see what my Capital punishment technique would do to his stomach. Maybe I can make him sick?' Naruto scrapped that idea as he walked further into the stomach, finding all manner of debris scattered around. 'When did he eat all this?'

There was a rumbling and Orochimaru's stomach started to contract.

"Oh great," Naruto eyed the stomach's walls uneasily. 'I thought stomachs were full of acid…but I don't see any acid anywhere!'

"Having fun, Naruto?"

Naruto dived out of the way of an acid projectile.

"Fast aren't you?" The flesh rose up until it formed the shape of Orochimaru's former form.

"Wow…" Naruto sighed, "And I thought this place couldn't get any worse."

"Don't worry, soon you will die and be absorbed into me. You should be honoured! You will live on as a part of me!" Orochimaru chuckled.

"I think I'll have to turn you down," Naruto charged Orochimaru, cleaving him in half with Kyuubi-Kei.

Another found of flesh rose up and formed into Orochimaru, "My, was it something I said?"

"Don't you stay dead?" Naruto scowled.

"No, I see no point in lying down. I would much prefer to stay alive," Orochimaru grinned.

"The Shinigami isn't so happy about that," Naruto stated.

"I am aware, but the God of Death cannot interfere in the mortal plane without a mortal calling him." Orochimaru grinned. "And the cost for that is your soul."

"My soul huh?" Naruto rubbed his chin, "Well I am always up for a good trade."

"Your threats are empty," Orochimaru stated.

"They are?" Naruto scowled, "We shall see, RASENGAN!" Naruto charged Orochimaru, once again tearing the fleshy lump to pieces, only to see another chunk of flesh form into the Snake Sannin.

"Continue to waste you chakra, it will make your absorption that much easier." Orochimaru grinned.

"Don't fuck with me!" Naruto growled. "I will kill you, you way or another!"

'Kill…'

"Is that so?" Orochimaru grinned.

"Of course," Naruto gained an evil grin. "I can't die just yet. I have too much to do. I will kill you and I will enjoy it."

'Enjoy…'

"Tch…killing you will be as easy as that old fool Sarutobi," Orochimaru grinned evilly. 'Hehehe…I will get that fool to attack me blindly, wasting all his chakra.'

"You…killed Sarutobi?" Naruto spoke emotionlessly, his entire face suddenly wiping of emotion.

"Yes," Orochimaru chuckled, "Danzo asked me to remove that obstacle, and I did."

"…" Naruto started shaking with anger. "I WILL TEAR YOU LIMBS FROM YOUR BODY! I SURE AS HELL HOPE YOU ARE IMMORTAL BECAUSE I WILL PUT YOUR BODY THROUGH TORTURES EVEN THE MOST SADISTIC TORTURER WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO EVEN DREAM OF! I WILL MAKE YOU BEG FOR DEATH!"

Jiraiya shook his head sadly as the Jounin prepared to launch an assault on Orochimaru's giant form.

"I can't believe it…" Kurenai repeated for the twelfth time.

"He was only a Genin," Kakashi pointed out.

"Yeah but," Kurenai sighed, "Naruto was an S-Class Mercenary…I always imagined he would be able to take down Orochimaru without any problems."

"Orochimaru…" Tsunade growled. She had cried when she had heard Naruto's fate. She had thought losing Jiraiya had felt painful, but Naruto, her adopted son's death, was like an icy blade had plunged straight into her heart. After the tears had gone, all that remained was a burning desire for revenge.

"Tsunade-hime," Jiraiya glanced at her, "I think it would be best if you sit this one out, you are emotionally tired right now and…"

"No," Tsunade stated, in a tone that dared Jiraiya to try and force her.

"Guess we should get out the big guns," Jiraiya bit his thumb and Tsunade did like wise.

"Don't worry," Anko patted her friend on the back, "Naruto is still alive."

"How do you know?" Kurenai asked.

"Hmm…" Anko paused slightly. "Because I have faith in him, and I know that he won't die quietly. No, when he dies there will be mountains of corpses and blood everywhere!" Anko giggled. "He will take down an entire army before succumbing to wounds that would have killed a God."

"…Thanks," Kurenai smiled weakly and rubbed her neck. The irritation had died down a little since she had been marked but Kurenai still felt its nagging presence.

Further down the line of Jounin, stood the Genin, who were preparing to charge alongside their teachers.

"Are we going to survive this?" Ino asked her friend.

"Not likely," Sakura admitted. "But if we were afraid of dying, why did we become Kunoichi?"

"Probably because it seemed a good idea at the time," Tenten sighed as she checked her scrolls.

"It was Fate that led us to this point," Neji stated.

"So are we destined to die?" Ino asked.

"Destiny isn't all it is cracked up to be," Neji waved a hand.

"But you said…" Sakura started.

"Is everyone ready?" Haku asked as she walked up to the group, Konan behind her.

"Yeah," Kiba nodded, "Me and Akamaru are just about recovered."

"…" Hinata looked up realising someone was talking to her, "Sorry?"

"Are you alright?" Shino asked.

"I'm fine, I just can't believe Naruto is really…"

"He's not," Haku stated. "He can't be."

"How do you know?" Hinata asked.

Haku tapped her Mating Mark smugly, "If he were dead this would have disappeared."

"Oh," Hinata brightened up.

"This is far too troublesome," Shikamaru sighed, "Why did Naruto have to get himself eaten?"

"I wonder what he tasted like," Chouji frowned.

"Probably Ramen," Sakura grinned.

"Yosh!" Lee exclaimed.

"What?" Tenten looked at him.

"It appears that the others are getting ready to charge," Lee grinned and gave Tenten a thumb up. "Let us show Orochimaru our flames of youth!"

"How about we just kick his ass," Tenten tilted her head.

"That works for me," Hinata stood up.

"He will soon realise that the Hyuuga are the best," Neji stated calmly.

"Say what you will," Sakura rolled her eyes at the stoic Hyuuga, "We all know us Kunoichi are going to save the day!"

"Damn straight!" Ino punched into the air.

"How troublesome," Shikamaru scowled. "But I suppose someone has to keep those air heads alive."

"Yeah," Chouji nodded. "Guess it's up to us to keep them alive."

"Haha!" Kiba grinned. "This is going to be one hell of a fight!"

"It is highly illogical to believe that any entertainment could be gathered from this battle. I believe the best course of action would be to simply focus on defeating him, rather than having a duel with him." Shino stated calmly.

"Enough chit chat," Haku called out, "Get ready to charge!"

"This could very well be my last fight," Konan turned to Haku as the flare signalling the charge soared into the air. "I want you to know," The flare exploded and the nin all charged, "That I would make a far better wife for Naruto-sama."

"Bitch," Haku growled as the two charged side by side.

Naruto was seething. Every molecule of him wanted to tear Orochimaru apart, reassemble him then tear him apart again. "First, you kill Sarutobi, then you have the nerve to insult my father's memory by summoning a watered down form of him!"

"Watered down?" Orochimaru scowled.

"That…impostor was incapable of defeating me. If that was truly the real Minato, I would have been dead before I had even realised I was fighting." Naruto's eyes narrowed. "You had the nerve to summon a weakling version of my own father and sully his memory by getting him to attack Konoha. I could care less about that place, but my father loved it, and getting him to be a tool in its destruction was…" Naruto shook his head.

'Kill him!' Kyuubi's voice sounded as if it were miles away.

'With pleasure!' Naruto focused on Kyuubi's voice, hearing her voice grow clearer.

"What is going on?" Orochimaru scowled, allowing the transformation to continue. 'After all I am immortal.'

"Come on!" Naruto grinned as his body finished the transformation. The red Chakra enveloping him was beginning to react with Kyuubi-Kei, causing it to issue sparks.

"This could be interesting," Orochimaru grinned.

Naruto scowled as he noted his Chakra levels were only just at his usual levels, even in his transformed state.

'You bloody idiot! You did it again!' Kyuubi hissed as Naruto's change in emotions shattered the frail connection they had managed to create, forcing Naruto back into his original form.

"Damn it!" Naruto sighed, "Why is that technique so hard to use effectively?"

"That…was an interesting ability," Orochimaru grinned. "I think I will have it now!"

Naruto leapt out of the way as Orochimaru lunged towards him, the fleshy lump now separate from the stomach lining.

"Rasengan!" Naruto tore the fleshy monster apart and sighed. "Now to get out of here…" He tried to step forward but realised to late that his legs had been fully covered by the pulsing flesh of the Orochimaru clone he had just destroyed.

Despite his best efforts, the slimy skin crawled up his body, surprisingly fast, and when it covered his head, he felt a strong presence tugging him.

"Damn it," Naruto groaned through clenched teeth as he felt the skin tighten in a bid to suffocate him.

Jiraiya grimaced as he helped carry Tsunade to the Med-nin. They had both charged Orochimaru with their summons and had been batted away as if they were mere gnats. The nin who was still able to fight had all joined in the battle but they couldn't win by numbers alone. None of the Jutsu was having a lasting effect on Orochimaru.

"Is there nothing that works?" Kakashi grumbled as he lowered Tsunade to the floor.

"Nope," Jiraiya admitted. "I mean, what we need is some serious piercing power."

"You mean like Raikiri?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah, but first we would have to find a vital spot, a spot that Orochimaru can't live without." Jiraiya nodded. "Otherwise he would just regenerate."

"I see," Kakashi looked up at the giant snake.

"Let me help her," a cloaked nin walked up, helping Jiraiya check Tsunade and healing her injuries.

"Do I know you?" Jiraiya asked, "I don't wish to be rude but I thought I knew all of the Konoha Med-nin."

"I…" The cloaked figure shook her head. "I am new to the Med-nin."

"Your voice is eerily familiar to me," Kakashi scowled slightly.

"Is that so?" The cloaked figure replied, changing her voice slightly.

"…" Kakashi titled his head. "Have we met before?"

"Possibly," The cloaked figure shrugged.

Kakashi shook his head, "I will go and continue the assault, Hokage-sama."

"Understood," Jiraiya nodded. "I will stay back here and think of some kind of plan."
Kakashi vanished in a swirl of leaves.

"Well this is a fine mess we have gotten ourselves into," Tsunade grunted as the cloaked nin repaired her arms. "Nice job," She added to the Cloaked nin, after making sure that the nin wasn't trying to kill her.

"Yeah," Jiraiya chuckled. "Looks bad don't it."

"Yeah," Tsunade smiled. "But I have faith that we will somehow pull through."

"Tell a lie and prove it," Jiraiya chuckled.

"Fine then," Tsunade grinned. "I bet we all die, Naruto, me, you the whole village, and if we don't I'll…"

"You'll what?"

"I'll do anything you say for a day." Tsunade chuckled.

"Hmm…" Jiraiya looked thoughtful, "Since you have bet we are going to die, that means we are all going to survive, even Naruto!"

"I hope so," Tsunade looked up at the snake.

"What shall I have you do then?" Jiraiya smiled.

"…Can I take the bet back?" Tsunade shivered.

The whole world was darkness. All that existed was Naruto himself, hovering in a void. He tried to move but found none of his limbs would respond.

"Kukuku…" Orochimaru appeared in front of Naruto. "Soon I will absorb your power!"

"Damn it," Naruto tried to move again.

"This is your mind…" Orochimaru laughed. "And I have complete control over it! Soon your body and soul will follow!"

"Are you just going to sit there and die?"

Orochimaru span around and realised there were two figures walking up to Naruto.

"Come on! Kick his ass already!" Kyuubi ran a hand through her hair.

"Some Namikaze you are," Hiren stated bluntly.

"What the…" Orochimaru looked confused.

"Going somewhere?" Kyuubi grinned as Orochimaru tried to pull out of Naruto's mind but found himself trapped in a similar situation to Naruto.

"How?" Orochimaru hissed.

"Quiet easy actually." Hiren stated. "You see you projected your soul into Naruto's body, in an attempt to take it over. What you failed to take into account is the Namikaze Bloodline. We were built to store multiple souls. Ever since you entered Naruto's body, his bloodline has been slowly subduing and binding you. In about five more minutes, there will be no more Orochimaru, merely Naruto Namikaze." Hiren finished with a sigh, "And you are supposed to be a genius."

"I will not…" Orochimaru tried to escape but found he couldn't move. "NO!"

The mindscape changed, rather than the black void, Konoha was now the location. Both Orochimaru and Naruto were able to move. Hiren and Kyuubi watched with interest.

"Hmm…" Hiren grinned, "You are challenging Naruto for control of his body?"

"That is correct," Orochimaru grinned. "I still have time to take over him before I am completely sealed!"

"If you say so," Kyuubi yawned, "Shall we help him?"

"Why?" Hiren scowled.

Naruto was the first to attack, closing the distance between the two in a flash of light and striking Orochimaru with the strongest punch he could muster. The snake Sannin was flung back like a rag doll.

"What? Why didn't my Earth Wall Jutsu work?

"In this world, Jutsu are useless," Hiren drawled. "All that counts is willpower and the strength of your soul. Your soul transfer technique has weakened your soul considerably whereas Naruto's soul is fortified by our own. You lost this battle before it even began."

"No!" Orochimaru staggered to his feet. He felt dizzy and was struggling to remain standing.

"It's over," Naruto charged at Orochimaru once again, "Minato Namikaze Rendan!" Naruto proceeded to beat Orochimaru senseless, using the same Taijutsu style as his father had used.

"Damn…" Orochimaru took up a Taijutsu stance. "I guess I will have to get this over with quickly."

Naruto shook his head, "This is going to get annoying."

The two nin charged one another. Orochimaru's style was fast and focused on striking exposed vulnerable areas.

"You do realise that you are both in essence souls?" Hiren stated. "You have no organs to crush, no bones to break. Clinical attacks such as that will have no effect."

Orochimaru scowled. "So basically whoever soul takes the most damage loses?"

"Hey," Naruto grinned. "Guess what Orochimaru, time's up."

Orochimaru's eyes widened. The last thing he felt was a sudden force as if a giant iron gate had slammed into his face and everything went black.

"RASENGAN!" Naruto burst from the flesh cocoon. "Huh?" Naruto scowled, "I thought I absorbed Orochimaru! Why is this snake still alive?" Naruto flourished Kyuubi-Kei, "This is going to be difficult."

Jiraiya sighed as he failed to think of a plan to take down his former ally. He had moved Tsunade and the cloaked nin into a building that was currently missing its roof.

"Any luck?" Tsunade asked.

"No…" Jiraiya ran a hand through his hair. "I can't think of anything."

"Hokage-sama!" Anko ran over grinning, "He's stopped regenerating!"

"What?" Jiraiya looked up.

"Our attacks are starting to inflict damage that isn't getting regenerated!" Anko chuckled.

"Finally, some good news," Jiraiya smiled.

"Can I go back to killing him then?" Anko asked.

"Sure," Jiraiya turned to the cloaked Med-nin, "So…Rin was it?"

"Hai Hokage-sama," Rin nodded.

"May I ask what you are doing here?"

"Well…" Rin sighed, "I came to check on an old patient of mine, but apparently he got eaten."

"Are you talking about Naruto?" Tsunade asked.

"Hai, I was the one who performed the Sharingan operation on him." Rin nodded.

"Sharingan operation?" Jiraiya scowled.

"The operation to switch one of his eyes with one of Itachi Uchiha's," Rin looked to the distance sadly. "I had hoped I would never perform that operation again, but at least this time both of the patients survived."

"Does that operation carry a high chance of failure?" Jiraiya asked.

"No," Rin shook her head, "But one of my teammates with a Sharingan was killed and his last wish was for his Sharingan to be transplanted to the other member of our squad."

"Who was that?" Jiraiya asked.

"That would be me, wouldn't it Rin?" Kakashi stated calmly as he walked from behind a ruined building.

"Kakashi!" Rin cringed at the glare he sent her.

"I thought you sounded familiar," Kakashi sighed, "I thought you died on a mission!"

"I needed to get away after what happened to Obito…" Rin looked at her feet.

Kakashi shook his head, "Now is not the time for reminiscing. First we will finish of that snake, and then you and I are going to talk."

"I…understand," Rin bowed.

"Good," Kakashi's lazy expression returned, "Now then, shall we take down that over sized snake?"

"Seeing as he is no longer regenerating, it is only a matter of time until we have won." Jiraiya sighed. "At least I hope so."

Naruto stretched out. He was starting to wonder just how much oxygen was in Orochimaru's stomach.

"I may not have much longer left…" Naruto scowled. "What to do, what to do…"

'You could always just Rasengan your way out. If your father was any indication, that's probably what an idiot such as yourself would do.'

"Orochimaru?" Naruto span around, "Show yourself!"

'I can't I have no physical presence.' Orochimaru's voice sounded again.

"Wait…don't tell me you're inside my head!"

'It appears so.'

"Wait a second! Hiren said I can only hear anyone sealed within me when our mental wavelengths were similar!"

'I guess that means you and I think alike.' Orochimaru sounded bored.

"Care to explain why this snake is still alive?"

'I merged with Manda, king of the Snake Summons. It is safe to assume that Manda is still in control of our merged form.'

"Great," Naruto rubbed his brow. "And how do I take it down?"

Why should I help you? Orochimaru sounded peeved.

"Simple, you wanted to live on and become a legend. You can as part of me." Naruto grinned at Orochimaru's cursing. "Of course I could simply expel your soul and allow the Shinigami to have a personal word with you." Naruto wondered if Orochimaru would be able to sense his bluff.

'…Fine. Manda is essentially a summon, but is anchored to my former body. You must find and destroy my physical body and then Manda will be dismissed.' If Orochimaru noted the bluff he gave no indication.

"And where would your former body be?"

'Like I would tell you,' Orochimaru sneered.

Naruto grinned. "I think I know a way to access your mind. He focused on Orochimaru's sneering tone. "I am an arrogant know it all with no morals…" Naruto told himself oblivious to the swirling Chakra that surrounded him. When it vanished Naruto's features had paled greatly, his vibrant hair was now a pale straw colour. His eyes had narrowed and become slits and after some experimenting, Naruto discovered his tongue could extend. Most importantly, he found himself able to access Orochimaru's memories as if they were his own. "Oh, how predictable…" Naruto's voice sounded a lot a happier version of Orochimaru's. "I can sustain the useless form, but should I want to control all Nine Tails, I fail. This bears further study. Did I just say that?" Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Interesting. It appears that using the powers of a sealed soul bestows me with some of their characteristics. Thankfully I seem to lack a Sasuke obsession."

'Haha…very funny.' Orochimaru sneered.

Using Orochimaru's memories, Naruto found himself walking deeper into the snake. The walls were slowly getting tighter, although Naruto filed them as a trivial nuisance and not worth his attention.

Certain memories of Orochimaru came up unbidden, including most of the memories relating to Orochimaru's cursed seal.

"Kukuku…" Naruto smiled. "Interesting, I could use this with my Kyuubi's Embrace seal. Then I will be able to draw their powers as I can with the Mating Mark…of course I will need someone to test it on, I would hate to kill off my allies…I am sure I can find some council members who are tired of living." 'At least when I am through with them they will be.'

"Remind me which of us the villain is," Orochimaru chuckled.

"Hmm…" Naruto dismissed Orochimaru's input as irrelevant. "Here we are…"

Naruto figured he must have been near the centre of the giant snake. There was a tablet with strange markings that were glowing. And in the centre of the tablet was Orochimaru's body.

"Hmm…I could have sworn I saw Anko-chan cut that up," Naruto scowled as he accessed Orochimaru's memories. "Oh…so that's how it was done. You used the flesh creatures you can summon inside this stomach and then shrunk and hid yourself in the flesh clone."

'Something like that,' Orochimaru replied.

The body of Orochimaru looked strangely peaceful. His arms were crossed over his chest and there was a hint of a smile on his features.

"Must resist urge to dissect…" Naruto muttered aloud. "Must save that job for Anko…"

'I hate you…'

"And I hate you," Naruto grinned. "Where is Kusanagi?"

'Inside that body,' Orochimaru chuckled.

"I guess I'll leave it as a present for Anko, a bit like a Piñata." Naruto picked up Orochimaru's body, causing the runes to waver. "Shouldn't Manda have dispersed by now?"

'He still has some Chakra, just hurry up and get out of here…' Orochimaru sighed.

Naruto closed his eyes. "Hiraishin no Jutsu!"

Jiraiya and Tsunade stood together, preparing for another assault against the giant snake, when a large chunk of flesh exploded from the creature and a yellow flash streaked out of the Snake's mouth. There figure wrenched a Kunai from the snake's head and threw the kunai at Jiraiya, who caught it.

"The Yondaime's…" Jiraiya started when a streak of yellow suddenly thundered towards them.

"Thanks for that," Naruto reclaimed the Kunai and dropped Orochimaru's corpse.

"OROCHIMARU YOU BASTARD!" Jiraiya and Tsunade took up fighting stances.

"Huh?" Naruto scowled, checking his reflection in the Yondaime's Kunai. 'Oh crap I look like the freaky snake guy!'

'They think you are me!' Orochimaru laughed his creepy little laugh.

"I am Naruto!" Naruto exclaimed. "He's Orochimaru!" Naruto pointed to the corpse.

"You sound like Orochimaru, look like Orochimaru and act like him!" Tsunade laughed, "You may have taken over Naruto and gained some of his features but I would know my own son even if he is not blood related, we are mother and son!"

"…" Naruto rubbed his forehead. "How can I prove that I am Naruto?"

Jiraiya pulled out two pictures. "Which of these do you prefer?" One of them had a naked Anko on, whereas the other had a naked Kakashi (his was still wearing his mask).

"Disturbed…so very disturbed…" Naruto shivered at seeing the Kakashi picture.

"Well we know he isn't Orochimaru," Jiraiya grinned, "Orochimaru would have been all over that picture like…" Jiraiya blinked, "I don't know what."

'Ahem…maybe you should get a hold of that picture.' Orochimaru suggested.

"Hell no!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Hell no what?" Jiraiya scowled.

"…" Naruto scowled, 'I need to break the mental link…ah ha!' "Excuse me," Naruto turned to Anko.

"Er…yeah?" Anko was unsure how to react to someone who looked so much like her hated sensei, even though the aforementioned was lying dead.

"Sorry about this," Naruto stuck his head between Anko's breasts.

Jiraiya, Tsunade and Anko froze when a burst of Chakra issued from Naruto, revealing his original form.

"Sorry about that," Naruto grinned running a hand through his revitalised blonde hair.

"Feel free to do it again," Anko beamed realising who it was.

"Why?" Tsunade asked.

"Can I?" Jiraiya asked, before Tsunade hit him.

"Simple, my bloodline allows me to merge with any souls I hold, but to break from their control I must break the mental link between me and the soul I am using. TO break a mental link I must do something that the soul I am linked to would never do."

"Your bloodline…I guess you found out more about it then?" Jiraiya asked,
"Yeah, my bloodline defeated Orochimaru," Naruto grinned, "He tried to possess me and ended up simply becoming a part of me."

"A part of you?" Tsunade asked after crushing Naruto in a hug that threatened to finish what Orochimaru has started.

'Ugh…I feel sick. How could you shove your face there?'

"Damn…" Naruto rubbed his temples. "I wish I could have Kyuubi's voice bugging me rather than yours, Orochimaru!"

"Huh?" Tsunade looked worried, "You can hear his voice?"

"Yeah," Naruto smiled. 'Best not let them know about the similar mental states.'

"What is he saying?"

'Check out that ass, I see Jiraiya is still as firm as ever.'

"You do not want to know." Naruto shivered. "Mind soap…I need mind soap. Oh Anko, I got you an Orochimaru Piñata, inside is something I think you will like," Naruto tossed the Yondaime's Kunai to Anko, "Have fun."

"Hai!" Anko grinned and set to work cutting Orochimaru's corpse up into pieces. When she found Kusanagi she jumped up and down like a school girl. "Wow! Something sharp and pointy! How'd you know this is what I wanted?"

'It didn't take me to work that out,' Orochimaru chuckled, 'I am sure even an idiot such as yourself could figure that one.'

Naruto ignored the jab.

"What are we going to do about that giant snake? And if Orochimaru is inside you then why is the snake still attacking?" Jiraiya turned to Naruto, hoping that he had the answers.

"Call everyone back," Naruto grinned. "I'll sort this out."

Jiraiya sounded the order and all of the attacking nin fell back.

"I hope you know what you are doing," Tsunade muttered.

"No worries," Naruto grinned.

"Why does that make me worry even more?" Tsunade sighed.

'Why are you ignoring them?' Orochimaru asked.

'Ignoring who?' Naruto responded.

'Kyuubi and the other guy? They are talking to you as well.'

'I can only hear you…'

'Oh…in which case Kyuubi says rip that snake into bite size chunks and the other guy says…Hey that's my line you blonde-haired bastard! Oh yeah? You and what army? I am a Sannin and you boy are but the dwindling remains of a once proud clan. Just because you are cute doesn't mean I won't kick your ass!'

'Orochimaru…are you fighting with Hiren?'

'…He says that he wants you to give you a taste of true power, as a little incentive to mastering the Namikaze arts.'

'And what would that be?' Naruto frowned.

'He calls it the Namikaze Secret Art: Kon-Kai' Orochimaru sounded impressed. 'It can do that? Really? That is kind of impressive.'

'It does what?' Naruto asked

'Hiren says wait and see. He is grinning smugly if it counts for anything.' Orochimaru chuckled.

'How do I use it?' Naruto asked as he approached the Giant snake, who singled out Naruto and was watching him with reptilian patience.

'Hiren says think of all three of those stored within you.'

Naruto did so.

'Then you need to focus Chakra on the images of us in your mind.'

Naruto focused his chakra.

'…And call the Jutsu's name will forming the Ram, Cat, Monkey, Cat, Ram, Monkey seals.'

"Here goes nothing," Naruto went through the hand seals. "Namikaze Secret Art; Kon-Kai (A/N: Soul Release)!"

There was a burst of smoke, and three figures looked around bemusedly.

"I have a body again?" Orochimaru grinned.

"Why didn't you tell Naruto how to use this earlier?" Kyuubi growled. She was in her two tailed form, although it merely appeared that way. She had enough Chakra in her current form to perform one attack.

"Because he couldn't hear me and when he could hear me, he only had two souls and this Jutsu lacks effect if you use it with so few souls." Hiren looked up at the Giant snake. "This summons us to perform one attack each on your target. Unfortunately you have no say in our attacks, only our target."

"Can I use this Jutsu to summon you to talk to and that?" Naruto asked.

"Yes…but we are like normal Kage Bunshin right now, one hit and we are gone." Hiren nodded.

"Right," Naruto pointed at the giant snake who had apparently inherited Orochimaru's curiosity and was sat watching to see what would happen next, "Well…sick him!"

"Let's do this," Kyuubi grinned. "Katon: Rasengan!" She merged her fire with a Rasengan, creating a small sphere that burned with the intensity of a sun.

"As you can see, we are capable of using any of your Jutsu as well, modifying them as we see fit," Hiren held both arms out in front of him, "Doton: Chi Yari!" A huge chunk of Earth rocketed towards the giant snake, although Hiren's form disappeared as soon as the attack was launched. It collided with a sickening crunch, indicating that the giant snake had at the very least broken a few ribs.

"Kukuku..." Orochimaru held out his hand, "Rasengan."

Both Orochimaru and Kyuubi charged at the giant snake, Rasengan in hand, while Orochimaru's did less damage than Naruto could using the same Jutsu, Kyuubi's detonated tearing a huge chunk out of the snake, although both Orochimaru and Kyuubi had already dispersed before the detonation shredded the very earth around it.

The giant snake screamed in pain as it lunged towards Naruto, who leapt over the clumsy blow. "Time to finish this off," Naruto grinned as he called on the last of his chakra reserves to summon a thousand Naruto clones, each with a Rasengan in each hand.

"Here comes the good part!" Anko grinned.

"Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze Finisher: Rasengan Overload!" Naruto called out as the clones hurled their Rasengan into the air. "Oiuchi: Shikei." Naruto clapped his hands together as the spheres rained down onto the giant snake's head, forming a giant sphere where the head was until recently. When the sphere cleared there was nothing but a bloody stump that poofed out of existence.

"WOOHOO!" Anko cheered clapping loudly, "Gory deaths for the win!"

Kurenai slowly joined in, followed by the two Sannin and the rest of the nin. When Naruto collapsed from Chakra exhaustion, the last thing he saw was the smiling faces of the Konoha-nin and hearing them chant his name.

Jiraiya was pissed. In fact, he was so pissed he was approaching calm from the other side. "I am not executing the boy! He saved the village!"

"He is a threat to us all," Five of the twelve surviving civilian council members stood in the Hokage's office. "I say kill him now while he is still out cold! You saw him summon the Kyuubi! He has made a pact with the demon fox and should be…"

There was a sickening crunch and the speaker fell dead.

"What is this?" one of the survivors turned around.

"Oops, sorry I smelled snake and acted out of reflex." Tsume Inuzuka grinned, showing her sharpened canines. "I believe you called me Hokage-sama?"

"The demon must be kill…" another council member was dead before he hit the floor.

"It appears that a fatal disease is killing off the council members," Tsume commented.

"I hear stupidity is contagious, we should be careful less it become an epidemic." Hiashi Hyuuga stated calmly as he walked over the man who had just found out how deadly the Jyuken could be.

"You think you can threaten us?" The three remaining councillors hunched up.

"This is a ninja village, it is to be run by ninja," a cold figure stated emotionlessly.

"Hey you're the missing-nin Itachi Uchiha!" one of the Council members exclaimed. "You've done it now Jiraiya! I will have the entire civilian sect rebelling against you for recruiting such a criminal." The council member showed the survival instincts of a lemming when he stared into Itachi's eyes.

The other council members flinched as the man screamed and proceeded to take his own life.

"I will not let anyone threaten the safety of this village," Itachi stated.

The two remaining council members realised that shouting off would not be a wise idea, so decided to bow and scrape their way out of the office alive.

"Bastards," Tsume growled as they fled.

"I trust you had a good reason for summoning us?" Hiashi turned to the Hokage. "And for recruiting that criminal," Hiashi nodded in Itachi's direction.

"Itachi was never a criminal," Jiraiya sighed, "It looks like Danzo and the council gave the order for the assassination of the Uchiha clan."

"What?" Tsume scowled, "How come I wasn't there when this happened?"

"That would apply for me too," Hiashi nodded.

"It looks like the civilian council went behind your backs," Jiraiya shook his head, "I am disbanding the council as of this moment. I will decide in the future whether to establish a nin only council, but until that time Konoha will follow the orders of the Hokage and the Hokage alone. But that is not why you are here. I trust you heard about Sasuke?"

"Yes," Hiashi nodded.

"Got himself kidnapped, didn't he?" Tsume responded.

"Yes, I wish to request the best trackers from both of you. The Byakugan and the Inuzuka's abilities as trackers are second to none but I cannot afford to send any Konoha nin out, as I need all my forces to protect Konoha. Itachi will be leading the ones you select to go to last reported sighting of Sasuke and they are to proceed from there." Jiraiya looked at the two.

"Well…" Tsume scowled. "I guess I could send Hana, she is one hell of a tracker and is technically not a listed nin."

"There are many branch members who I could send," Hiashi stated.

"Excellent, please send them as soon as possible, Itachi is desperate to find his brother." Jiraiya smiled as the two left.

"What are we to do?" Itachi asked. "With Orochimaru's death they have no reason to hold Sasuke…what if they kill him? I could never live with myself if I had failed him…"

"Don't worry," Jiraiya smiled, "I am sure that he will be fine."

"I hope so," Itachi mumbled as he left the office.

Jiraiya nodded to Tsunade who smiled at him as she removed the corpses. Watching Tsunade's figure, Jiraiya nodded to himself as he filled in Zabuza's request to join Konoha. Life was good.

"WE MEET AGAIN, NARUTO NAMIKAZE." The Shinigami spoke.

Naruto merely nodded. He had no idea where he was, but it all seemed slightly irrelevant. When the Shinigami is in front of you, everything else becomes a minor detail.

"I SEE YOU WERE SUCCESSFUL. OROCHIMARU IS NOW BOUND TO YOU, SHOULD YOU DIE SO WILL HE."

"Yeah, I guess so," Naruto nodded.

"IT IS TIME FOR YOUR REWARD; I AM HEREBY GRANTING YOU THE TITLE OF STOMACH OF THE SHINIGAMI!"

"What bonuses does that give me?" Naruto asked.

"YOU CAN STORE SOULS!"

"I can do that anyway," Naruto scowled.

"THE SOULS YOU STORE YOU CAN MANIPULATE TO CALL ON THEIR POWERS!"

"I can do that anyway," Naruto repeated himself.

"…YOU ARE HARD TO PLEASE," The Shinigami chuckled to itself. It's plan would finally be realised. "THEN I SHALL GIFT YOU WITH A FREE SOUL!"

The Shinigami faded away. 'Finally…after all these years, I have got rid of that Ramen Obsessed idiot without making myself look like less of a powerful deity! This way it looks as if I am a generous Deity who has gifted a mortal! If I had known that he would be so annoying…I would never agree to take his soul in exchange for the Kyuubi's sealing. Finally I can go back to being dark and mysterious, without hearing the words 'I'll never taste Ramen again! Boo hoo'.'

For the Shinigami existence was good.

Naruto awoke in a hospital bed, surrounded by gifts and presents for the saviour of Konoha. The nurse came in with a smile.

"Ah, you are awake, Naruto-sama." The woman smiled.

"Hai," Naruto nodded.

"You have a gift from a mister Ichiraku," The nurse placed a large Ramen meal before Naruto, whose eyes started to water.

Life was good.

Minato watched through his son's eyes as Naruto devoured the whole bowl of Ramen.

"That's my boy." Minato smiled.

"Hey, Blondie," Kyuubi poked him. "Are you in?"

"Huh?" Minato was drawn back into the current game. Those bound to Naruto had found a good way of passing the time. Playing card games with one another. Currently they were playing strip Pontoon (Minato didn't understand Poker, so they figured he could handle a simple game where all you had to do was try and reach a total of 21).

"Stick," Minato glanced at his cards.

"Nineteen," Orochimaru put down his cards, which were a nine of clubs and a Queen of spades.

"Eighteen," Kyuubi scowled and put down the nine of Hearts and the nine of Diamonds.

"Twenty," Hiren stated as he placed down the Jack and King of Diamonds before turning to Minato, "What have you got oh traitorous one?"

"Twenty One," Minato placed down the Ace and the King of hearts.

"…Damn," The three other players scowled.

"Winner chooses and item for the loser to take off," Orochimaru sighed.

"I choose…your bra," Minato grinned.

"Damn cocky bastard," Kyuubi scowled as she removed her bra. All that was left was her underwear. She seemed to be terribly unlucky at card games.

Smiling as they looked on Kyuubi's figure, Minato and Hiren both gave a satisfied sigh. Life was good.

Several moments later when Minato lost and Kyuubi demanded he take off his shirt, Orochimaru and Kyuubi took in his muscular chest and nodded. Life was good.

Anko grinned as she walked into the Interrogators office.

"Good job you showed up." Ibiki chuckled, "We have plenty of Oto-nin to talk to, and I won't be able to watch over you so I won't be able to stop you interrogating them however you want."

Anko beamed. Life was good.

All in all, for pretty much everyone, Life was good. Even Shikamaru allowed himself a small smile at the current state of affairs. This state of affairs lasted approximately…five minutes.

"Yo, Ero-Sennin," Naruto charged into the office after finishing off his Ramen.

"Yes?" Jiraiya sighed as Tsunade left the room to dispose of the corpses.

"I need permission to leave the village."

"No," Jiraiya shook his head.

"Listen, I relied on Kyuubi too much and now I can't call on her powers…I need to go to Iwa and learn my family Jutsu!"

"Oh…so you want me to let you go to a country we are currently icily polite with to learn some new attacks? Alone?"

"Namikaze Secret Art: Kon-Kei!" Naruto focused on his four allies.

"Aha!" Minato exclaimed. "Twenty-one again!" He suddenly realised he was stood in the middle of the Hokage's office, wearing nothing but Kyuubi's thong. Orochimaru was completely naked and Kyuubi was wearing his bow. Hiren was completely clothed.

Naruto saw his father and Orochimaru and shivered. Life was not good.

Jiraiya saw Orochimaru and wished his life was over.

Kyuubi was indifferent.

"First of all put some damn clothes on!" Jiraiya hissed.

There was a puff of smoke and all of the Souls were dressed in their usual attire.

"Right," Jiraiya turned to Minato, "Is that really you?"

"Yeah," Minato nodded. "How are you Ero-Sennin?"

"…" Jiraiya hugged Minato, who exploded in a poof of smoke.

"Damn it, Ero-Sennin," Naruto grumbled, "He was only in a Kage Bunshin.

"Sorry," Jiraiya smiled, "So your father is sealed within you now?"

"Yeah, and when I learn my family Jutsu, I could seal a whole bunch of people! Even you!"

"…" Jiraiya scowled, "I will have to turn that offer down."

"Hehe," Naruto grinned. "So can I go?"

"Well…" Jiraiya scowled.

"My old man says let me go!" Naruto added.

"Fine…" Jiraiya caved into Naruto's demands, but only if you take a small retinue with you!"

"Such as?" Naruto asked.

"You need a scout, a diplomat and a Jounin." Jiraiya listed them off.

"Okay then, I guess Hinata-chan would make a good scout, Haku is good at diplomacy and as for a Jounin…well I guess that either Anko or Kurenai could fill that vacancy." Naruto grinned.

"Are the aforementioned busy?" Jiraiya asked.

"Er…" Naruto shrugged. "I don't know, but I will leave them a letter."

"Huh?" Jiraiya frowned.

"I will set off now and if they want to catch up they can." Naruto brushed some dust from his cloak. "If that is all…"

"Why are you in a hurry?" Jiraiya asked.

"I have a bad feeling," Naruto shivered. "I would like to be prepared for it."

"Well…" Jiraiya scowled. "If you are headed to Iwa, I would recommend," Jiraiya pulled out a map and handed it to Naruto, "That you stop at the marked locations, I have friends there."

"Let me see…hey the Uzumaki Clan HQ!" Naruto pointed at one of the markers.

"That's somewhere where I am not welcome," Jiraiya stated, "That's why it has a black marker. Stay away from there Naruto, they didn't like your mother's marriage and they will sure as hell hate you."

Naruto wasn't listening. 'Hey maybe I have a grandmother or something. I've got to pay them a visit!'

Naruto waved to Jiraiya as he set off to pack for the trip, and also write the letters to those he wanted to go with him. He decided to play it safe and send letters to a fair few people.

Whistling, Naruto walked to his house.

'It's going to be one long trip,' Minato called.

"It is going to be even longer if we are stuck with you," Orochimaru stated.

"How can I be on the same mental wavelength as both my old man and Orochimaru? I'll never understand…"

And with that Naruto headed to his apartment, thinking only of the intense training he was going to go through.

Life was going to be great.

And that's the end of that. The chapters after this will all be put into Twisted Shippuden the sequel. I just did this so I could class Dark Shippuden as finished and focus on the sequel and my other stories.

Thanks to all my readers

-DazBoz

Omake

Who said Orochimaru had no good abilities?

Anko: So…You have gained some of Orochimaru's abilities?

Naruto: Yeah…why?

Anko: Which ones?

Naruto: Just the one to make my tongue longer.

Anko: Let me show you a good use for a longer tongue.

Naruto: *Gets a nosebleed as Anko strips* Life is good…

Kyuubi's Scheme

Minato: Hey Kyuubi-hime?

Kyuubi: Yes?

Minato: How can you stand being locked up with Orochimaru? I mean didn't he cause you to attack Konoha?

Kyuubi: Yes he did…but I have my own ways of getting revenge…thanks to him being sealed with us, I have plenty of time to inflict pain!

Minato: Oh…

Hiren: (She has a point…I guess I won't oppose being stuck with the traitor…)

Tayuya's Problem

Tayuya; Fuck off!

Kurenai: What is your problem?

Tayuya: My problem? If I'm not killed off by the fucking author I become a cheap slut who falls in love with the fucking blonde idiot! Then I end up becoming nicer and fucking redeeming myself in the eyes of the fucking reader!

Kurenai: …You should watch your language.

Tayuya: When Anko stops being a sadistic murderer, I'll stop swearing.

Kurenai: So you're never going to stop then?

Script Complaints

Ebisu: How come I don't have any lines?

Haku: Because you suck.

Kisame: What about me?

Haku: We haven't hit Shippuden yet.

Dosu: And what about me?

Haku: Who the hell are you?

Romance of the Sannin

Jiraiya: I love you Tsunade, I would willing risk my life for you (and have done).

Tsunade: Jiraiya…

Jiraiya; I would climb the tallest mountain and swim the deepest ocean for you…

Tsunade: That's all fine and good, but it doesn't redeem the fact you were peeking!

Jiraiya; Oh well…can't blame a guy for trying.

What's your Favourite Song?

Minato: Flash by Queen.

Pakkun: Who let the Dogs out.

Kyuubi: You'd better get ready to die by Andrew WK

Hiren: The Dumb Song by Psychostick

Itachi: What I've done by Linkin Park

Sasuke: It's raining men…What? It's a good song!

Orochimaru: It is isn't it!

The Original Sannin

Orochimaru: Check out that guy's ass.

Jiraiya; Man that babe has amazing breasts.

Tsunade; Oh say can you see *drunken slur*

Naruto: OK…and these guys are supposed to be our role models?

Sakura; If we take their places then I am glad I am Tsunade, I am a strong women who only has a gambling and drinking problem.
Naruto: Well I'm Jiraiya! *Grins at Sasuke* I guess the rumours about you are true.

Sasuke: …I hate my life.

Sakura: You mean Sasuke is actually Gay?

Naruto: Look at who he is to become?

Sakura: A creepy paedophile?

Sasuke: You are not helping…

Gai and Kakashi

Gai: Yosh, my hip rival! I challenge you!

Kakashi: Did you say something?

Gai: Yosh! Curse your hip attitude.

Kakashi: I was completely underwater for three days, think you can beat me?

Gai: Yosh! If I fail may I walk around Konoha for three days on my hands alone!

Kakashi: And I didn't use any Jutsu.

Gai: *Charges into a pond and fully submerges self*

Sasuke: Are you going to tell him you were in a submarine?

Kakashi: Nope.

Sasuke: He could die…

Kakashi: I am sure he isn't that stupid…right?