When Bella Swan left our collective lives, it was like the sunshine had drained from the sky. Rosalie and Emmett fought more than ever before, without the requisite make ups that drove us all out of the house. Emmett tried, we all knew he was trying. His jokes would fall on deaf ears, and he felt useless. That was his thing, making us laugh in terse situations. Bringing our spirits up when we were down. Emmett doesn't joke anymore. His dimpled guffaws no longer grace the Cullen household. Rosalie spends all of her time in the garage, when she isn't charading through another year of high school. Esme is throwing herself into her interior design business. She, like Carlisle, is hardly ever home. Her family was falling apart, just like it had in her human life. Melancholy clung to her like an expensive perfume. Carlisle is always at the hospital, pulling double shifts when he can pull it off without losing the human pretense. Alice… Alice left to keep Edward company, and Edward... Edward left to do whatever it was he was doing. I suspected it was tracking Victoria, but he was a terrible tracker. I understood why Alice chose to go with her adopted brother than stay here with me. She would never voice it, bless her heart, but I knew her true feelings. She loved me, but she wasn't in love with me, so she left to make sure her brother didn't do anything reckless.

When I departed from the Cullen coven, it was months after we left Forks. Months still, after Alice and Edward left. There was no other choice for me. I didn't belong with the Cullens when I was with Alice, and I certainly didn't belong when I wasn't. Drinking animal blood was difficult for me. Suppressing over a century of bloodlust wasn't something that came easily. Neither did suppressing the basic of vampire impulses. If I hadn't of spent so much time being the Cullen's weak link, I wouldn't have snapped at Bella. If I had gotten to hunt that morning instead of spending it helping Alice set up decorations… If I this and if I that. I couldn't keep what if-ing all of my decisions. I didn't need to presume I was making the right choice. I knew it. I could feel it in my bones, the second I felt the dry Texas heat on my face, when I felt the wind blow through my tangled blonde locks. I was home.

I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face at the sight of my brother, Peter waiting for me outside his house on the outskirts of Odessa. I haven't been back to Texas since he came back for me and helped me escape Maria. It was entirely too long to leave my roots behind. I had never been to Odessa before, but this Texas was not the Texas I had left over 60 years ago.

"Well lookie here, if it isn't Major Jasper Whitlock himself, gracing us with his long overdue presence." He chuckled at my expense. His wife Charlotte came running out of the house as he spoke and engulfed me in a crushing hug. She pulled away to give Peter his opportunity for a man hug. Already I had seen more life than I had in the last several months with the Cullens. I looked at my brother and his wife appraisingly, noticing how they didn't hide their scars like I had been doing. I felt a flash of guilt, not for hiding my battle scars from The Southern Vampire Wars, but for inflicting so many on the two people closest to me.

"I know, I've been remiss in visiting with my family." I didn't have to say more as I followed them inside. They knew I hadn't visited them often because Alice felt uncomfortable around them, and didn't trust me enough to visit on my own. They probably also knew that Alice fucking hated them. She couldn't see past their red eyes and 'casual disregard for human life'. I wouldn't say it to her face, but I thought she was just being over-sensitive because she didn't remember her human years at all.

"You're damn right about that, brother." We had gathered in the living room. It would have been awkward, except for how well I knew the two vampires sitting across from me. I had created both of them, raised them to be brilliant fighters, and when the time had come, I had released them from the destruction I had brought them into this world for. Peter had told me never to apologize for it, it brought him to his mate. And besides, he had once said, being a vampire suited him far more than being a human ever had.

"I don't know what to do with my life." I blurted out. "Before I had purpose. I trained newborns, directed them in battle, destroyed them when they were no longer of use. Then I followed Alice around, repeating high school over and over for fifty years. I don't know any better. What do I do with myself, now that my use has waned?" I usually wasn't so outspoken or emotional, especially not around the Cullens, but Charlotte and Peter were my family. They saw me at my worst, brought me to my best. I stared at the blonde vampires across from me, the two who knew me so well, and knew what I needed for myself before I did. The two who left Maria's tyranny… And came back for me.

"First of all, your 'use' hasn't waned." Peter rolled his eyes, using finger quotations to emphasize. "Pretending to be human is the exact polar opposite of taking human lives to build a vampire army. You went from one extreme to another. Have you ever just thought of being yourself? I know you were always a Cullen, a Hale, or a McCarty when you were with them, but have you ever tried just being Jasper Whitlock? Not The Major, not Jazz, just Jasper." What Peter was saying actually made a lot of sense. I had only spent a few months with Char and Peter after I left Maria, and even then only a few more on my own as a nomad before I walked into that bar and found Alice. She had seemed so sure of the path I should take and that we were meant to be on that path together. Now she was positive her path was taking her with Edward, to watch out for him. She hadn't said anything about where my path would lead, just that it was split from her own. I had spent so long with somebody directing me, telling me where to go, what to do, how to dress, act. Peter was right. I should stop over-thinking everything and just be myself.

"As always Peter, you're absolutely right." I concluded.

"You do, however, have one choice you have to make relatively soon." He hedged. I just stared at him and waited for him to continue. "Are you going to continue to drink from animals, or are you going to go back to the human diet?" He just blurted out. I haven't even thought about it.

"Animals taste like shit, Peter." I stated bluntly.