For him, it all started in September.

In all honesty, it had been there long before since September. But it was September first the first time it entered his mind. September first was the very first day he had ever considered the possibility, had ever seen the world this way, with this internal clarity.

What he saw, September first, was her. Her in all her beautiful, quirky, undeniable beauty. Her with her beautiful smile and endless jokes and that look that was just for him. Her, with Kevin's arm wrapped around her. The pain that had danced in his chest was a million times worse than anything he had ever felt when he saw Kevin's arm around his baby girl. Sure, he had seen the scene before, Kevin was her boyfriend, it was expected that they would be seen in the midst of PDA, but he had never experienced their relationship with his newfound epiphany.

It was September first when Derek Morgan realized he was in love with Penelope Garcia.

He had always known he loved her. Hadn't he told her so a million times? Hadn't he shown it to her in a thousand different ways? But knowing her loved her, and knowing he was in love with her was a major different. It shifted his world in a hundred big ways and thousands of small ways. Suddenly, he was noticing different things about her that he couldn't believe he had missed before. He noticed how there were different shades of blonde in her hair, how the right side of her upper lip curled up further than her left, and how she always used the pink pen rather than the purple or green or blue.

It took him several hours to come to terms with this new knowledge. Then, he turned to his next demon. Did he tell her, this love of his life that was there all along, exactly how much she meant to him? Or did he turn away, live with the unrequited love inside of him for the rest of his life? The latter was the obvious choice. Not only was she in a relationship, a perfectly good relationship with a man who loved her (though, Morgan maintained, not as much as he loved her) but he would lose her completely if she didn't want him. It was better to leave it alone, he eventually decided, and let her be happy with Kevin.

But his heart and mind wasn't satisfied with his decision. He began to make tiny contests with himself. If he did this today, or if this happened, or if she did this that meant they were going to be together. He began doing this subconsciously. It started on the first with a tiny thought: if she says hello to Kevin before she kisses him at the end of the day, that means she and I are meant to be.

At the end of the day, he was watching. Kevin appeared at the glass doors and waved to her. She waved back. "Hello!" She called, approaching him.

She didn't kiss him at all.

The second challenge was: if she's wearing flats instead of heels today, that means we're meant to be together.

Garcia strode into the bullpen, dressed, as always, to the nines in bright colours. Morgan checked her feet. Little purple flats with pom-poms on the tips. "Like them?" She had caught him looking. "I put the pom-poms on myself."

"Beautiful," Morgan managed. Just like you, he added silently, the thought tinged with sadness.

If we get called out on a case today, she and I are meant to be.

He got the call at eleven at night, which was cutting it kind of close. "Wheels up in ten. Serial killer in Kansas."

"Yes, Hotch."

If her hair is up today, we're going to be together.

The first thing he saw of Garcia was a tall, curly ponytail bouncing around Reid's desk.

If Reid is eating breakfast at his desk again today, she and I are going to be together.

Reid had a bagel.

If Prentiss is wearing a grey shirt today, we're going to be together.

Black shoes, black pants, black jacket, grey shirt.

If Hotch glares at me today, she and I are going to be together.

He spilled coffee on Hotch. He had never feared for his life as much as that moment. If looks could kill, he would have been dead ten years.

If JJ says Henry has a cold, we're going to be together.

Henry had had the sniffles for three days now. It had blown up into a full out common cold epidemic at his day care.

If Rossi wants Chinese for lunch, she and I are going to be together.

Rossi got extra fortune cookies for the entire team.

If she's wearing a skirt today, we're going to be together.

It was a long thing of a green gauzy material that got caught in the door of her office.

If I'm home in time to catch NCIS on T.V. tonight, she and I are going to be together.

It was only a rerun, but he saw all of it.

If Reid makes a comment about the weather today, we are going to be together.

Reid preached for ten minutes about the dangers of driving in the rain they had been experiencing for the past two days.

If Prentiss mentions Sergio today, we will be together.

Apparently, Sergio threw up a hairball into her favourite shoes.

If Hotch mentions Jack's grades, she and I will be together.

Apparently, Jack was getting A's in all of his classes except science. That was a B.

If we find this victim alive, we will be together.

It took them an agonizing twelve hours, but they finally found Kenny alive.

If the vending machine takes my dollar this time, we're meant to be together.

It did, although it gave him the BBQ chips instead of the dill pickle ones that he had originally wanted.

If JJ says good morning to me before Prentiss does, we will be together.

Reid said good morning to him first, then Hotch, then JJ, then Rossi and finally Prentiss.

If there's no case today, she and I will be together.

It was a long day of paper work, but he never left the office. Not even for lunch.

If she calls me 'Chocolate Adonis' today, we will be together.

"Hey, Morgan?"

"Yes, Baby girl?"

"Can I have a bit out of that ass, my chocolate Adonis."

If they forget to take the onions off of my burger, she and I will be together.

There were onions.

It took him twenty days to realize he was having these daily contests of fate. Once he did, his first reaction was to try to stop them, although today's competition was already in place. Hotch had to be wearing his purple tie. He also tried to ask himself when he would end the contests. Would he let them go on for months? Years? At what point would the contests end and he put the gears of fate in motion for them being together. He amended his contests.

If Hotch is wearing a purple tie today, I will kiss her at the end of September.

Hotch's tie was purple.

If JJ is wearing blue today, I will kiss her at the end of September.

JJ had a new sweater. It was long sleeved a light blue.

If Reid lectures me on healthy eating today, I will kiss her at the end of September.

"Do you know what is in that over processed food? You should really try organic. It's a lot healthier."

If I don't see Kevin before noon, I will kiss her at the end of September.

He didn't see Kevin until Garcia left for the day.

If the first thing she says is a pick-up line, I will kiss her at the end of September.

"Hey baby, you're so hot even my zipper is falling for you."

If I talk to Strauss today, I will kiss her at the end of September.

"Agent Morgan."

"Ma'am."

If I see a balloon today, I will kiss her at the end of September.

A little boy from his apartment building had let one float to the ceiling.

If Reid has on a sock in one solid colour, I will kiss her at the end of September.

One sock was orange and covered in bubbles. The other sock was solid neon green.

If Rossi complains about paperwork before ten, I will kiss her at the end of September.

"We do this stupid paperwork more than we work actual cases! We could be helping people!"

If I can find a can of beer in my fridge, I will kiss her at the end of September.

It was hidden behind ancient meat, which might have been roast beef.

If she straightened her hair today, I will kiss her at the end of September.

Her hair was straight, framing her pretty face. Although, he admired her natural curls so much more.

It was the day of the last challenge. What would it be?

If she cries today, I will kiss her.

A double edged sword. If she cried, she could be upset. Although, his baby girl frequently cried tears of joy. Still, if one tear leaked from one of her beautiful eyes, he would be there to catch it. He would be there to sweep her into his arms and never leave her side. He would be there to comfort her and kiss her and whatever else she needed.

He was nervous.

She was happy all morning. Around eleven, he cornered her in her office.

"Okay, Miss Smiley, what's got you all giddy?"

"Giddy? Why, Derek Morgan, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play me, Mama. I know something's up. Come on, tell Derek. I know you got a secret."

"Well, last night, Kevin sorta-ish proposed."

Proposed? As in marriage, diamond ring, the whole life together that his emotional stability had been planning out and counting on? "Garcia, you can't sorta propose to someone."

"He got down on one knee and pulled out this ring, it was so beautiful. He said 'Penelope, I love you more than life its self. I would give you anything you ever wanted, but all I have to offer is me. By marrying me, you will make me the happiest man in the world. Will you be my wife?'"

"And?" He prompted. She wasn't wearing a ring.

"And I didn't say anything." She looked up to him, her eyes full of trust. "I didn't know what to say."

"You love him, you've been with him for a long time. It's the natural step."

"Natural maybe, but I don't know if I want it."

"Why? All I hear from you is Kevin praises. You love him and I know the man adores you. Baby girl, you two are great for each other."

"Oh, I know. It's just," she cut herself off. "A silly fantasy. Kevin is the best person. I am happy with him. Marriage will only make it stronger."

"Penelope, what's your silly fantasy?"

He needed to know. He needed to know if her silly fantasy was him, or if that was just his silly fantasy.

"I," she let all the words out in a rush, "I just always hoped that someday you might want me how I wanted you."

And then she started to cry.

I don't own Criminal Minds or NCIS. I am not entirely sure where this idea came from, but I think I like it.

~TLL~