Yep, a new story from me. You heard it here first! And...OH EM GEE, it's not a horror story for once! You see, I wanted to do something other than stories that involve death, excessive amount of blood and swearing for once. So, I decided that it shall be a comedy story since that's my third favorite genre. (First being horror, obviously, and second being mystery...obviously). This fic won't contain any adult themes (okay...well, it MIGHT but I'll keep it under control), only minor language, and the violence would be like cartoon violence like you see in your typical Mario game or that show called Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. Now enough of me blabbing on, let's start the fic!

NOTE: If you take this fic seriously, you will die in 7 days.

NOTE 2: Thanks to ACT II for the inspiration!

NOTE 3: All your base are belong to us.

Chapter Uno

It was a bright, beautiful and sunny day up at the Mushroom Kingdom. Brothers and sisters were screaming at each other, there were riots going on at Target, Exploding Banana City is now under control of a princess named Your Mother, and there was a car crash in the streets every 5.324937393 seconds. Yep, it couldn't be more peaceful!

In Mushroom City, there was a city meeting where Town Hall was. Hundreds of citizens were there including reporters, camera men, milkshakes, slime monsters and Miley Cyrus' evil twin.

"...And that's why we all need to take precaution whenever we go outside after midnight. We don't want anymore people getting hurt..." Toadsworth said.

"...Or do we?" He snickered.

Everyone gasped at what Toadsworth said.

"YOU RACIST!" A koopa yelled out.

"Woah, calm down folks! It was just a joke, heh heh heh..." Toadsworth blushed awkwardly.

"Excuse me, Mr. Toadsworth, but what are YOU planning to do about the recent wave of crimes and danger falling upon our city?" Asked a Toad reporter.

"Oh me? Well, when times get rough, I can just get on my private jet and fly all the way to Sarasaland! Hahaha!" Toadsworth laughed. In fact he laughed so hard, everyone thought he was gonna explode.

"That wasn't even close to being funny. Is he mentally deranged or something?" Wario asked.

Toadsworth stopped laughing as soon as he realized no one was laughing with him.

"Umm...anyways, we will have police watching each neighborhood thoroughly, providing more security to the citizens." Toadsworth answered.

"Toadsworth sir! There are rumors that King Bowser Koopa may possibly be behind all of this. Do you believe that it's true?" Asked a Noki reporter.

"I've never heard of that rumor, but knowing Bowser, it probably is true. I'm thirsty, does anyone have any Gatorade?" Toadsworth asked.

"I do! But I'm not gonna give it to you so HA!" Donkey Kong laughed and drank all his gatorade. He then spit it out all over Dixie Kong because he realized that the Gatorade was Cool Blue flavored, not Cherry flavored.

"Oh my god...I'M DRENCHED IN GATORADE! MY WISHES HAVE BEEN GRANTED! YEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Dixie cheered and danced like there was no tomorrow.

"Grrrr! Curse you, you...you...uh...ugly monkey? Yeah! Haha, I am the King of Insults!" Toadsworth laughed in a supernatural way.

"Toadsworth sir? I have another question to ask you. Is it true that you divorced your wife to marry a watermelon?" Asked the Noki reporter again.

Toadsworth gasped at the question. And so did Paratroopa, who was right near Toadsworth, but he only gasped because he found out they're making a Super Mario Galaxy 6.

"Who-who told you that?" Toadsworth demanded.

"Why, it was Princess Peach!" She said, pointing to Peach who was in the middle of the crowd.

"Yo." She said.

"Peach...? Why on earth would you say this for?" Toadsworth asked.

"Because when you were at my house to stay over, I sneaked into your room at night to steal 50 coins but when I saw you in bed, I found you holding a watermelon tight in your arms!" Peach yelled.

"That's it. Undeniable proof that Toadsworth is a scumbag!" Waluigi said and laughed demonically, which creeped people out.

"That doesn't mean anything! I was hungry for a snack so I got up from bed to get a watermelon and brought it back to bed with me to eat it, but then I fell asleep while eating it! I swear on my life!" Toadsworth yelled back in defense.

"OKAY! YOU DON'T NEED TO FREAKING YELL! GOSH!" Daisy screamed.

"OH THE IRONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY." Tiny yelled in angst.

"Well, that concludes this city meeting. Now go scram back to whatever the heck it is you were all doing." Toadsworth said.

"WAIT! I WANNA SEE WHAT'S BEHIND THE SHY GUY'S MASK!" Diddy Kong called out.

"Shy Guy? Wha...?" Toadsworth said in confusion and looked around and spotted a Shy Guy that was right next to him. "WOAH! Where the heck did you come from?"

"I come from Planet Gorbulon 8." Shy Guy answered.

"Congratulations. Now, people want to see what's under your mask so do it or else I'll get Chain Chomp to chase you down all over the city!" Toadsworth demanded.

"There is no Chain Chomp." Shy Guy replied.

"Huh? Why do you say that?" Toadsworth asked.

"Because I ated it." Shy Guy answered.

"You ATED it? You...ATED IT? YOU ATED IT? YOU FREAKING ATED IT? ATED IT? ATED IT?" Toadsworth screamed and was literally turning red from his blood boiling.

Toadsworth then exploded into a bunch of party streamers and balloons.

"Okay...that was really weird...and mystifying..." Rosalina commented while eating Canadian Bacon.

"COME ON! WE WANNA SEE UNDER YOUR MASK!" Everyone yelled at the exact same time.

"Are you sure you wanna see?" Shy Guy asked.

"YES! JUST SHOW US ALREADY!" They all replied at the exact same time again.

"Okay, okay! Calm down, jeeze!" Shy Guy said.

"Sorry. We didn't mean to seem angry." Everyone said at the exact same time yet again.

Shy Guy put his hands on his mask, took it off, threw it to the ground and revealed his face for the world to see.

Everyone screamed in disgust and terror and said things such as "OH MY GOD THAT IS SO GROSS!", "Ewwww! He looks like Britney Spears in her 70's!" and "Huh. That's weird. I wonder what they're selling at Funcoland today."

In fact, Shy Guy's true face was so gross that it made Mario throw up on Daisy, which made Daisy throw up on Luigi, which made Luigi throw up on Yoshi, which made Yoshi throw up on Yoshi, which made Yoshi throw up on Yoshi again, which made Yoshi throw up on Peach, which made Peach throw up cotton candy and rainbows on Birdo, which made Birdo throw up toxic waste on Toad.

And as if things couldn't get any worse, a gigantic monster was seen and heard stomping throughout Mushroom City and it was getting closer to the crowd.

"Oh my god, what is that thing?" Birdo screamed.

"IT'S GODZILLA! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!" Daisy screamed and everyone scattered in every direction.

"Huh. Godzilla looks weird. He looks more metallic. And he looks a lot like Bowser too. And since when did Godzilla grow red hair and horns? Oh well, I'm hungry. I'm a get some McDonalds." Shy Guy said, putting back his mask on and skipped off.

"Come with me, you guys! I'm almost positive I know who is behind this!" Mario announced.

"Kay kay." Answered the Mario Crew at once. Then they all followed Mario while 'Godzilla' was breathing out fire on to the 'Building of Fluffy Stuff Such As Pillows and Clouds'.

Everyone followed Mario all the way to a mysterious looking house. In fact, the house was so mysterious that Peach almost had a heart attack.

"TOO...MUCH...MYSTERIOUSNESS!" Peach yelled, trying to control her breathing.

"Oh shut up and eat some grass, Peach!" Wario yelled.

"Oh! Don't mind if I do!" Peach cheered and kneeled down to eat the grass.

"Alright guys...here it is...the house of 1000 corpses...oh wait, that's a different house." Mario said. He knocked on the door and waited for a response.

38126348 seconds later, someone answered the door. They all gasped at who it was, except for Peach who was still eating grass.

"Oh my god...IT'S ROSALINA!" Everyone screamed, except for Peach of course.

"Wait a second, how can Rosalina be there when she's right over...there!" Toadette pointed to the other Rosalina.

The other Rosalina sighed and zipped down her costume from the back and got out of it. Everyone gasped...except for Peach of course.

"OH EM GEE, IT'S BOWSER JR.!" Everyone screamed at the same time.

"Grrrrrr! And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling adults!" Bowser Jr. pouted.

"Wait, why were you disguised as Rosalina in the first place?" Birdo asked.

"So I can steal Peach's iPod! I've been begging for my dad to get me one, but he says I can't have it until I'm 30!" Bowser Jr. complained.

"Okay...? And we should care, why?" Waluigi asked.

"You're boring me. Bye bye." Dixie said, getting out her rocket launcher and blasted Bowser Jr. into a pile of dust.

"...ANYWAYS! Now, REAL Rosalina, why did you send Godzilla out to attack Mushroom City?" Mario interrogated.

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything that involved Godzilla...yet..." Rosalina smirked.

"Okay, we believe you. See you tomorrow, Rosalina!" Daisy said and waved.

"Hasta luego!" Rosalina said in Spanish.

Everyone gasped at what she said.

"OH MY GOD, ROSALINA SPOKE ANOTHER LANGUAGE!" Toad screamed.

"GET OUT OF OUR COUNTRY, FOREIGNER!" Dixie yelled, charging up her rocket launcher and blasted Rosalina into a pile of dust.

"Now that Rosalina is taken care of, who do we interrogate next for the Godzilla mayhem?" Tiny asked.

"I know just the guy!" Peach answered, her mouth full of grass.

Peach brought everyone to another house, but it didn't seem as mysterious this time which made everyone nervous for some reason.

Peach banged on the door and waited.

The door opened and out came Toadsworth.

"What the heck do you guys want? Can't you see I'm busy here!" He yelled.

"Um...not really." Yoshi answered.

"Alright Toadsworth, give it up, we all know you sent Godzilla to Mushroom City to destroy everything, including the Pancake Factory! CONFESS NOW OR ELSE I'LL...DO SOMETHING EXTREME AND WEIRD!" Daisy yelled, trying to seem threatening but failed.

"Why would I do that for? What proof do you have?" Toadsworth asked.

"This is mafia. We don't need proof." Wario said and put on sunglasses to make himself look cool.

"Shut it, Wario!" Toadette yelled, slapping him in the face.

"Well...you see...we don't exactly have any proof...heh heh..." Luigi blushed.

"Then you are simply wasting my time. GOOD DAY!" Toadsworth said and slammed the door on Peach's foot.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Peach screamed so loud that Planet Jupiter exploded into a billion pieces.

After a few more hours of interrogating various people, the Mario Crew decided to take a break and have dinner at Burger Queen.

"OH EM GEE THIS SHAKE IS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!" Rosalina squealed in a fangirlish way.

"What the hell? When did you get here?" Wario tragically asked.

"39 minutes ago." Rosalina responded.

"So let's see here...if the person who made Godzilla come crashing through Mushroom City isn't Rosalina, Toadsworth, Wiggler, Dora The Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants, Shigeru Miyamoto or Your Mother then who the heck could it be?" Luigi said.

"Well it can't be Bowser since Bowser is too smart to have Godzilla destroy the city. It has to be someone who's stupid...someone who always gets defeated by a short guy no matter what...someone who's evil plans always fail...and someone who thinks they're so evil, but they're really just a joke." Luigi said, thinking hard.

"Ooh! I've got it, I've got it! It has to be...DOCTOR EGGMAN!" Diddy cheered.

"OH MY GOSH! OF COURSE! We are so stupid! Doctor Eggman...it has to be him! It makes perfect sense! We need to go over to Planet Earth to stop him!" Toad cried anime style.

"BUT WAIT! How are we suppose to get to Earth anyway? Should we just sprout wings and fly there?" DK asked.

"Nah, only pigs can do that. I think I know where a teleporter is that can teleport us to Earth. Follow me everyone!" Luigi gestured.

"NO!" Everyone yelled at once.

"Wh-wh-what? Bu-but why?" Luigi stuttered in shock.

"Just kidding Luigi, of course we'll follow you. But let's finish up our food first, okay?" They all said at the exact time, which brought chills down Luigi's spine.

After all that, Luigi lead the group through Death Plains where meteors hit the area every 30 seconds.

"Okay guys, we're almost there! Oh, and watch out for the falling meteors. We don't want anyone to die!" Luigi said.

"Or do we?" Wario snickered evilly.

"Well I know I do." Toadette said.

"GASP!" Everyone gasped and turned towards Toadette.

"Just a joke, just a joke!" Toadette said in defense.

"Oh okay. That makes everything better then. Now Luigi, where is this teleporter at?" Peach asked in tragedy.

"Over there, by Bowser's Castle!" Luigi pointed out.

"OH MY GOSH! I NEVER KNEW BOWSER LIVED HERE! Let's pay him a visit before we go to Earth!" Daisy squealed.

"But I don't wanna!" DK complained.

"WELL TOO BAD!" Daisy screamed, attempting to slap DK but for some reason, she slapped herself instead.

"INCOMING!" Mario yelled, pointing at the falling meteor that was getting closer to them. Everyone scrambled except for Toad who just stood there.

"Ooh! That's a pretty rock! Hey, why is it getting clo-"

BOOM!

The meteor impacted into Toad and exploded, killing Toad and everything within a .500000 mile radius.

"Oh my god! Is Toad alright?" Birdo asked.

"Does he LOOK alright, Birdo? DOES HE LOOK ALRIGHT?" Diddy yelled.

"...Maybe..." Birdo responded dramatically/sexily/crazily/weirdly.

"Eh, I'm sure he'll be fine. Toad is a strong boy, even stronger than your typical Goomba! Now let's go be nice people and visit Bowser shall we?" Mario gestured and they all skipped to Bowser's Castle.

KNOCK KNOCK!

"What the? Who in the world could be knocking on my door?" Bowser said, running to the door. He opened it and gasped as he saw Mario and his friends right there in front of them.

"Hi Bowser! We just wanted to pay you a visit and see how things are going!" Peach said in an extremely cheesy way.

"Oh! Um...I-I'm fine yeah! You don't need to worry about me so just...um...go back to what you were doing heh heh..." Bowser awkwardly said, trying not to let them see what was inside.

"Oh my gosh, Bowser! You're sweating like a pig! That's not healthy! Here, let me come inside so I can cool you down by dumping zero degree water all over you!" Daisy said and walked in.

"NO WAIT! THAT'S HIGHLY UNNECESSARY!" Bowser screamed in slight angst/anger/humor/supernatural.

"Hey! Is that a machine in there that looks highly advanced and possibly suspicious? I WANNA SEE IT!" Toadette playfully said and ran inside.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU MUSTN'T DO THAT!" Bowser roared.

"EEEEEEEEK! I SMELL FRENCH TOAST! I LOVE FRENCH TOAST! I'M COMING FOR YOU, FRENCH TOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAST!" Yoshi shrieked and also ran inside.

"GOD FREAKING DAM...ERRR, I MEAN, TARTER SAUCE!" Bowser yelled.

"You must calm down, Bowser. You are awfully aggressive for someone that has a secretly low self-esteem on himself. Here, let's sit you down." Mario said, trying to talk professionally. Everyone pushed Bowser to the couch of the living room.

"Hey Bowser! Is this machine suppose to be mainly for controls or something? Because all I see are buttons here and some screen too!" Toadette said.

"IF YOU DARE TOUCH THAT I WILL CUT...I MEAN...UHH...I'LL DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY INSANE AND MAGICAL!" Bowser screamed, trying to keep everything as PG Rated as possible.

"STOP SCREAMING! IT'S MAKING MY HEAD HURT!" Birdo screamed.

"Now Bowser, just lay down and relax. Daisy will be back in a minute with the zero degree temperature water." Peach said.

"NO! I AM NOT GONNA HAVE ICE COLD WATER POURED ON ME! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Bowser screamed.

"House? I thought this place was a castle?" Waluigi asked.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Bowser roared, which shook the entire castle.

"Hey Bowser, why is this machine thing here called "Control Panel for The Godzilla-sized Metal Robot Bowser That Will Destroy The Mushroom Kingdom"? Don't you think that name is a little too long?" Toadette asked.

Bowser just facepalmed himself in response.

Then, someone ran in to the room.

"Hey guys! I'm still alive! It's a miracle!" Toad cheered.

"No one cares." Wario replied in disgust.

Toad was so shocked by Wario's rudeness that he had a heart attack and died again.

"Alright Bowser! I have the water!" Daisy said, carrying a bucket of ice water.

"NOOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Bowser yelled, kicking the bucket of ice water onto the control panel. Everything on the panel zapped and exploded like crazy. There soon was a fire starting from it and before they knew it, the entire panel was destroyed.

"! MY CREATION! IT'S GONE!" Bowser cried.

"Oh well, you'll survive!" Tiny said.

"Shoot! It's getting late, you guys! We better get to the teleporter now or else the rush hour will happen where all the monsters from the Silent Hill series will come from nowhere and try to eat us!" Luigi said.

"Okay...that made no sense at all...which is good..." Diddy mystically said.

"Bye Bowser! We'll see you later!" Mario said and they all waved at him.

"HEY WAIT A SECOND! WHERE'S MY PINK HAT AT?" Dixie screamed and looked around all over for it. She then noticed that it was right by where Bowser was.

"YOU! YOU STOLE MY PINK HAT! I AM GONNA KILL YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Dixie screamed and got out her rocket launcher.

"What? I didn't steal your hat! I don't even like the color pink! ...Okay, that's a lie, I DO like the color pink, but why would I steal a hat for?" Bowser said.

But Dixie didn't listen and shot Bowser, who then exploded, which for some reason, made the entire castle explode, which for some reason, made the entire country explode, which for some reason, made the entire planet explode, which for some reason...no wait, that's it.

And they all lived happily ever after!

In the afterlife of course.

EOC.

So, how did you like it? It feels refreshing to do a different genre. Please review.