She hadn't known.

All these years and that's what everyone thought. If Jack wasn't already dead she would kill him herself. To come up with and execute such an elaborate lie and for her to fall for it, the most suspicious of the group, really pissed her off.

She absolutely hated her dead husband.

It was a mistake to go along with the finishing touches of the plan. For one thing, everyone already hated her, there was no reason to disappear and two; she knew first hand, that Jack Bass never did anything unless it benefited him.

But she was hurt and couldn't bear the thought of hearing news about Chuck, his new wife and the wonderful life he promised her he would have. Even if she had pushed him into it.

So for the first time since the arrangement was made, Jack got no argument from Blair and she realizes now that's exactly what he had counted on.

She often wondered why no one tried to find her. Why there were no phone calls, no visits, no emails – nothing. It was as if she was dead to them. And just this morning she learned how true that was.

Her husband, whom she hadn't heard from or seen in over 3 years, died last night.

A heart attack.

He hadn't suffered is what they told her but she wished to God he had.

The bastard.

She had done everything he asked of her…broke it off with Chuck, pushed her friends away, married him, moved to Spain, disappeared….

Why did he have to tell everyone she died, that she had committed suicide? Suicide?! Blair Waldorf – yes, she was still a Waldorf that was one thing Jack could never convince her to do, take his last name. When and if she ever became a Bass, it wouldn't be because of him – didn't get depressed and she certainly didn't commit suicide.

Suicide was messy and ugly and she was none of those things.

She rubbed her temples, trying to ease the tension that still remained after taking two of the strongest pain meds she could find. But they weren't helping, nothing was.

Ever since Jack's lawyer told her the news this morning, her head felt like it was going to explode. Hearing of her late husband's death was a relief and for a split second she couldn't help but picture her and Chuck in central park…holding hands, feeding the ducks, talking about nothing, just enjoying each other's presence. But the fantasy was short-lived because he wasn't her Chuck anymore.

And then the lawyer gave her a letter from Jack that was to be delivered to her upon his death and that was just icing on the cake.

Dearest Blair,

I guessing by now you know I'm dead but before you jump for joy, there are some things you need to know.

I don't hate Chuck. I needed him to know what it feels like to lose the one you love. To wake up every morning to another woman, another voice, another touch – he had to know what it felt like Blair.

It's a living hell.

Marrying you was just a bonus, another way for me to fuck with my nephew. And since I'm being honest I think you should know, none of it would have worked it you two weren't determined to destroy one another.

You only have yourself to blame.

I imagine you always wanted a second chance and now you have it. You can back to New York and ruin the happy life Chuck has made for himself or you can let him go. But before you make your decision there is something else you should know.

You, my wife, are dead.

Committed suicide six months after we moved to Spain. I, of course, told your family and my favorite nephew the whole story. Never thought I'd see the day Chuck Bass actually broke down. It really was something.

I always win Blair. Always.

Your Loving Husband,

Jack Bass

Like she said if he wasn't already dead she'd kill him herself.

The lawyer left some hours ago and Blair still couldn't bring herself to move from the sofa. How could she have let this happen. She played right into the bastard's hands and dammit she was smarting than that. She should have known it wouldn't have ended with her moving to Spain.

All afternoon she had tried to figure out how Jack had carried this out. There had to be a funeral right? And funerals had bodies. Unless he had her cemented. But surely her Mother would have wanted to see proof that her only child was dead. And her Daddy, she didn't even want to think about how he took the news.

They were so ashamed. To marry a man twice her age. By the time she left, they weren't speaking. It had hurt, more than she thought it would. Parents were suppose to stand by their children through anything and when hers didn't, she was crushed. After a while, not talking to them became easier and she never once questioned it.

She had felt so guilty – even if it was her that walked away, she never wanted anyone to think she was dead. She was only trying to protect everyone, especially Chuck. His life had never been easy and Jack went out of his way to make it worse and he had no intention of every stopping, unless….unless she married him. She done what she thought was best and in the end Chuck came out of it okay.

He was married to Eva, they were happy.

But Jack was right, this was her second chance…she had two options, go home and explained what really happened or she could let it go.

Would she be able to give up the life she made for herself?

Costa Blanca wasn't that bad once you got used to it. The beach was beautiful and the people friendly but she'd be lying if she said she didn't miss the shopping and night life of New York. Though the night life was more Serena's style, she still missed it. Things were just different here – there was no Gossip Girl and she was no longer rich.

Her doing.

Jack offered to take care of her but she promised herself, shortly after they were married that she wouldn't take another thing from the man and so she hadn't. She got a job and an apartment, and later a house but it wasn't easy and she still struggled. No more shopping sprees, no more maids, and no more designer anything. She couldn't afford it.

Blair Waldorf had grown up.

It wasn't the life she always fantasized having but it was hers and she was happy. Usually she had no trouble believing it, but things were different now. She had options today that weren't there yesterday.

Disappearing was one thing but being dead – she couldn't live with that, they were still her family.

She hadn't step foot in New York in seven years.

She expected things to be different but even she was surprised at how much. Even the smells had changed. The city seemed lighter somehow, like the fog was gone or maybe she was just lighter, older. And other than her mini melt down on the plane ride over, she was happy to be home again.

She had decided before landing that she wouldn't head over to her Mother's penthouse just yet. It was a little after three now and she needed to check into her hotel and unpack, maybe even grab a bite to eat.

She booked a room at the Holiday Inn. It was a nice hotel but it was nothing like what she was used to growing up. But then again, money wasn't that important to her anymore. When Jack died, he left her his millions - something he knew would piss her off. Every last penny of it had gone to charity, she could just picture him in hell fuming at the mouth. She couldn't help but smile at the thought.

It was late March and still very cold outside, not cold enough for snow but definitely different from what she had come accustomed to. Buttoning her coat more securely around her small frame, she shivered.

If she was smart, she would have taken a cab instead of walking but her funds were limited and walking helped to clear her head.

She laughed at the thought. The old Blair Waldorf, would have rolled her eyes and insisted on private transportation.

After unpacking and eating a quick sandwich, she decided to explore. And by explore, she meant stage a meeting between herself and Nate.

She surprised even herself by deciding to seek Nate out first. Deep down, she knew why he was her first choice. He wouldn't let emotions overtake his judgment. He would tell her like it was. If he thought her being back was a bad idea, especially for Chuck, then she would leave.

She knew after reading up on him that he was a lawyer now. A surprising career path for the once spoiled, play boy. He practiced mostly in criminal law. Occasionally doing pro bono work for those who couldn't afford a good defense.

It would seem as if she wasn't the only one who grew up.

She thought about calling his office for his whereabouts but decided it was useless. They were never going to tell her where he was.

She had to find him another way. And since Gossip Girl no longer existed, she did the next best thing.

She followed him. And somehow she ended up at the Empire Hotel. Chuck hadn't owned the hotel in years and she hadn't step foot in it since that night, but even now seven years later, it still felt wrong to be here. There was where it all began.

Funny how just the sight of the hotel could still make her sick to her stomach.

She supposed she could always wait for him to leave but really what would be the point in that. The longer she waited the more likely it was someone was going to recognize her. And while she looked and felt different, she was still Blair Waldorf and it was only a matter of time before someone realized that.

Throwing caution to the wind, Blair heads straight to the bar. She isn't sure how she knows he's there and not in one of the rooms above, but she does.

Taking a seat on a stool, she takes in her surroundings. The Empire had always been a beautiful hotel. And Chuck wasted no expense in decorating it, but then again he never did.

A few minutes later, she finally sees him. He is seated towards the back with a young woman. Blair had hoped he would be by himself, but given it was a work day, it was probably too much to ask for.

"White wine," she barks to the bartender. Might as well have a drink while she waits for the woman to leave.

"Serena you should take my advice, I'm only trying to help you." Acting as your ex-girlfriend's divorce lawyer was never a good idea but they were old friends and he still cared deeply for the carefree woman. Sometimes entirely too much. His feelings for this woman, had gotten him into more trouble than he cared to remember.

Serena Van Der Woodsen would always be the love of his life.

There was a time when he convinced himself, he was hers but given that this was her 3rd divorce, he somehow doubted it. She wasn't a bad person, just lost. Things had gotten bad after Blair committed suicide. They all blamed themselves, Serena and Chuck more than anyone. Jack had taken great pleasure in providing the details. It was the first time Nate had ever seen Chuck cry.

They say the truth will set you free, but in this case, the truth broke them and in many ways destroyed the woman in front of him.

"I know you mean well, Nathaniel and I appreciate you doing this but how can I just let him win? He cheated, he humiliated me, he used me and now you want me to give him half of my money?" The very idea sicken her. She would rather give it all away than let that unfaithful bastard have a penny of it. "I can't…I won't do it."

"Serena, please…" Didn't she understand. There was no way to win this fight. The judge would rule in favor of her ex-husband. He was legally entitled to half of her net worth, excluding any trust funds. This was explained to her and still she insisted on taking this to the courts. She stood to lose more if it wasn't settled outside the courtroom.

Running his right hand across his forehand, – a habit he had picked up when the stress got too much to handle – he closes his eyes and wills his headache to subside. It would be at least another hour before he could take his meds.

"Nate," Serena reaches across the table and clasps his hand in hers. "Are you okay?"

He could hear the concern in her voice, but found little comfort in it. Her worry didn't go pass friendship and he couldn't afford to believe otherwise.

He gently squeezes her hand and then drops it. Catching her glance and he's surprised to see hurt mirrored there, but it is gone before he can read too much into it. Probably for the best anyways. Like he said, he couldn't afford to go there.

"I'm fine, just one of my headaches."

Serena places her hands in her lap, choosing to ignore the lost of warmth she always seems to find in Nate's touch. "Medicine?"

"At home." Nate is now massaging his head with the tips of his fingers, hoping to ease the pressure but it wasn't working. "Excuse me for a moment. Maybe splashing water on my face will help keep it at bay until I can get home. "

She nods, "Of course."

Pushing his chair back, he stands and his eyes instantly go to the bar. There was a woman there. Her back was to him. He couldn't make out her face and yet, he would have sworn he knew her. Something about this woman was familiar. Without knowing why he begs her to turn around, he needs to see her face. Almost as if she heard him, she turns and he sees her clearly now.

She was older, more mature and her hair was different. But it was her.

Stunned, he falls to the floor and brings half of the contents on the table with him.

"Nate!" Serena cries. "Are you okay?", she is on the floor almost instantly. "Nate," she tries again but nothing. Why wasn't he responding to her. She monitions the waiter over, "Please help me. Something is wrong with my friend."

Blair, but a few feet away sees the commotion and realizes he most have recognized her. She stands up and starts to walk to her childhood friend, but sees the woman at his side.

"Serena," she whispers.

She should have realized who the other woman was. She still had the perfect hair and flawless body and yet something was different about her. She seemed sadder, heavier even. Like life had taken its toll on her.

She knew Serena was on her 3rd divorce. Her first marriage ending almost as soon as the papers were signed. Daniel Humphrey wasn't a bad guy, he just wasn't the right one. She never met the other two, of course, but read they were one night stands that lasted far too long. When she left for Spain, she truly believed the blonde had figured it out and realized what everyone else already knew; Nathaniel was the guy for her. He always had been.

Knocked out of her thoughts by a flash of light, Blair covers her face in pure instinct. This was too soon. She couldn't be photographed yet. No one knew she was alive.

It takes her a few minutes to realize the paparazzi aren't taking pictures of her, but of Nate and Serena. He must have fainted.

How in the world did they get here that fast. It couldn't have been more than a minute. The paramedics haven't even arrived yet. Grabbing her purse, she rushes through the lobby and out the front sliding doors. Careful, not to draw attention to herself.

Talking to Nate would have to wait until another time. Besides she was positive he had recognized her. It wouldn't be long before he seek her out.

tbc...