So I noticed there is a distinct lack of Penumbra fanfiction on this site, even if all of which are pretty good, and yet it seems to be a pretty popular series with a decently-sized fanbase. I intend to help rectify this issue by adding my own two-cents' worth in to the meagre list.

This is my first 'real' fanfiction written in prose instead of 'theatre script-type' dialogue format, and heavily inspired by superxXxSAMURAI 's Penumbra one-shot Birth, which in itself encouraged me to write my own fanfiction and I strongly suggest you check it out.

Please enjoy~

"Whoops!"

Philip stumbled over the rubble and debris, teetering and arms flailing before landing heavily with a dull thud, managing to wind himself.

He ignored Clarence's sniggers in the back of his head.

"Lost your footing there, monkey?"

Philip didn't bother dignifying the virus' taunts with an answer. Bastard had blinded him.

"Aw, you silly billy, haven't you learnt how to take a joke yet?" Again, the virus was ignored, his host choosing to look around instead and cracking open a new glowstick.

He had no idea where he was whatsoever.

"Do you ever, monkey?"

He wished suddenly that he'd looked a bit harder at the map he had passed in the hallway earlier on, before charging on to crawl through some vents until he reached his current location.

"Maybe you did see that map, but your silly monkey brain has forgotten it already."

After a bit of exploration, Philip discovered that one: half the hallway to the left of the vent was caved in, most likely because of the large worm-shaped hole in the ceiling. Secondly, this area was a lot more modern and better-lit than the rest of the facility, and thirdly...any and all doors were keycard-enabled.

Fantastic.

This probably meant he was going to have to wander around blindly until he either found a away to disable the doors, or, god forbid, the corpse of some dead scientist who oh-so-conveniently has the appropriate keycard.

"Or just crawl around on all fours like the monkey you are in yet more dusty vents," Clarence piped up, "Ooor, better yet, let me take the reigns for a while. You can have a nice little sleep for a while...I'm preeeeeeeetty sure I can remember what was on that map..."

Philip resisted the urge to snap back a reply, it'd probably only encourage the obnoxious twat of a virus even more. Instead he decided to concentrate on getting out of his current predicament, find Amabel, get rid of the Tuurngait virus-

"Hey! I'm not just some virus you can cure with a bowl of chicken soup and an aspirin-"

-And finish what his father failed to do.

He stepped resolutely over the rubble scattered down the corridor and carefully opened the only door without a keycard slot, peering in and ready to bolt if anything hostile lurked within.

Nothing, except a couple of desks and filing cabinets.

He let out a relieved sigh he hadn't even realised he was holding in and entered the room proper, making sure to close the door securely behind him; he certainly didn't want a repeat of the incident back in the mines when he found himself trapped by a dog because he'd forgotten to shut the door.

Checking the cabinets and desks, he only found a bottle of painkillers and a load of old paperwork relating to various projects: substances 63 to 77, artefacts, infection protocol, poker night schedules, cryo-stasis and regeneration units, cloning...the list went on and on.

"Useless," he grumbled, instead turning his attentions to the lone computer in the room and fiddled with it until it hummed to life. Maybe this would provide to be more helpful.

"Not with your luck, monkey." Clarence drawled, sounding bored.

Welcome to the Shelter Network

He clicked on all the files at random in hopes of finding something, anything, remotely useful, a program popping up eventually on the bright screen.

Would you like to deactivate the security locks? (Y/N)

Philip thought for a moment before tapping the "Y" key. The computer hummed, froze for a few frustrating seconds before emitting a loud beep.

Error has occurred. Emergency protocol already in effect. Only door(s) 25, 26, 27 could be deactivated.

...We apologise for any inconvenience caused. Have a nice day :)

"Your technology is really shitty. But with your tiny, singular minds I'm not surprised that you can only think so much."

...Ugh. Just shut up.

The virus just snickered. If viruses could leer, Clarence most probably would be doing so at that moment.

"Fine, monkey. I'll be quiet- if you need me I'll be going through your teenage memories again. I need a good laugh."

With that, his voice went silent.

Philip sighed in relief. Finally.

"Juuuuuust kidding, monkey!"*

Fuck.

After searching the room again quickly, Philip exited the dusty room and stepped back out into the corridor.

Then, for a moment, the world went black. He blinked rapidly in surprise, shaking his head.

...What doors had been opened again?

"Got a little...memory problem there?"

Clarence's unfortunate host groaned in annoyance. He was just getting somewhere, damnit!

"Well, if you let me take the reigns for a little while- oh, don't look so horrified- I might be able to remember those doors for you...we could even have a little fun afterwards if you like..."

There was a small pause as Philip took in the last part of that sentence.

"...What?" he almost squeaked.

Did that idiot just... come onto him?

No, no.. the blonde shook his head. Clarence's idea of "a little fun" was most likely his host's face getting intimate with a rusty axe.

"Well if that's your thing..." The virus practically purred in response.

Philip made a mental note to smash his head into a wall the next time he heard something like that from him again. The latter only snickered quietly, then returned to silence.

He decided to look around for those doors; he knew he had opened at least three and he was going to check every single one if he had to.

Bastard Tuurngait, just what the bloody hell is he playing at?

Moving on down the hall to another door, marked as twenty-five. Had he opened this one? A little green light was lit on the keycard slot, so surely that meant it was unlocked now? He tried the handle and it opened with a soft 'click'.

It was mostly dark inside except for a faint, sickly blueish light emanating from a far corner, its source obstructed by a screen.

Holding up his glowstick he ventured further into the room. In the dim light he made out thick cables snaking across the ceiling and down the walls like vines, feeding into odd cylinders line along the wall to his far right. A couple of dead computers remained upon desks still scattered with yet more paperwork of varying levels of uselessness (just what the hell is a 'stasis unit' anyway?) as if the owner had just stepped out to grab a coffee.

Philip rifled through any and all desks or places one could stash things in in his immediate vicinity, finding only some more painkillers (oh, joy of joys) and the keycard to enter the room with (again, redundant now). Disappointed with the lack of anything informative he moved through the odd room, inspecting the cylinders -each one large enough for a single person to lie in comfortably- which were dotted with various lights, odd symbols, buttons and switches, all of which save a couple being unlit. Eventually he moved on to investigate the faint glow from behind the screen.

Well, damn.

Yet another dead scientist.

The man only seemed recently dead, slumped over the desk whereupon stood a large computer with a series of switches nearby, its screen glowing brightly in the gloom.

Philip carefully tread closer to the body, examining it from a safe distance.

Surely if he were infected he'd be wandering around by now, crowbar in hand, right?

Bending to look he noticed no visible wounds on either the hands nor face, nor any obvious blood-spill. Gingerly he moved somewhat closer, still very wary, then suddenly spotted a gun on the floor, glinting dimly in the fluorescent light of the glowstick, noticing as he did the smell of bitter almonds clinging to the man. He bit his lip and reached for the abandoned gun and withdrew quickly whilst still keeping an eye on corpse, then checking the cartridge for bullets.

Empty.

He groaned in exasperation. Who the hell kept a handgun but no bullets? A quick search of the desk drawers and the man's pockets revealed none either.

Well there went his hopes of finally finding a weapon he could actually defend himself with in this hellhole (he barely knew how to use it other than aim it and pull the trigger, but still). With a small sigh of disappointment he focused his attention on the computer, once again clicking around at random on the various files and executable programs until he found a word document.

"Last will and testament...To whomever finds this... "

He quickly scanned the pages, then jotted down anything deemed important in his worn notebook for future reference.

"Blah, blah, so the monkey killed himself cause he couldn't see any way of escape, boo-hoo," Clarence piped up, sounding rather unimpressed by it all. "What a mess he left this place in, too."

For once Philip felt inclined to agree.

The only thing the man had left behind was a will and some research notes, again referring to the workings of the 'stasis units' and the progress of the 'cloning program'; nothing useful unless he wanted a clone of himself running around.

"One of you is enough, monkey~"

Philip stopped. He didn't like the tone of that voice at all. Come to think of it, the virus had been suspiciously quiet for the past half-hour...

"M'not doing nothing," the virus paused, "Except watching your most intimate moments with your first crush. You monkeys really are obsessed with getting laid... Although I never knew you were such a player, monkey! I'm rather impressed - Oh, OH, your face right now! Aahahahaha ! Am I embarrassing you? 'Cause your face is the same colour as your jacket."

The blonde stopped and snarled in aggravation.

"Get out of there, you arse!"

Clarence merely laughed maniacally at Philip's reaction, "Make me, monkey-boy."

The blond facepalmed.

So, my first ever published chapter. Love it? Hate it? Thoughts on the progression? Want to flame and tell me I shouldn't continue? Feel free to express your opinion in a review! :P