Alternative ending

Hello Dreamers! This is basically the alternative ending, thus the sad ending. I posted the happy ending, as most of you asked for, and now I am posting the alternative, the sad ending. The sad ending goes back to the time of Edward's serious car accident. Bella is at the hospital waiting to hear more about his condition. And you will read the rest. It is a sad ending, so grab some tissues.

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Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything else that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. Only the story idea belongs to me.

XXX

~Bella's point of view

XXX

Once I reached the hospital, I parked my car at the first empty spot I found and rushed in. I headed to the receptionist.

"Hello Miss."

"Can you please tell me, in which room do they have Edward Cullen? They brought him a while ago."

She checked her computer. "Oh yes. He is undergoing a surgery right now. He will be transferred in the intensive care after the surgery is over, so I don't think anyone will be allowed in. But, you can wait for the doctors to give you more information."

I moved my head. "Ok. Where should I go?"

She gave me directions and I left for the first floor, where Edward was fighting hard to stay alive.

I reached the room, where the surgery was being done. I saw some seats and sat there. I put my hands on my legs and my head in my hands. Thoughts flooded me. Ominous thoughts that scared me, like a nightmare makes a child wake up from its sleep and search desperately for some consolation and any proof that its nightmare was all gone.

It was only a bad dream…

But mine wasn't. Mine was real. Excruciatingly real. And I had to deal with it. I had to push away all these thoughts which silently spoke in my head that I might lose Edward forever. I had to be strong. For him. For me. I knew he could feel my presence here. I was sure he was asking for me. Even now, that he was probably sleeping from the induced coma. I wouldn't leave him alone though.

Suddenly, scenes from my nightmare in Paris penetrated my mind like a bullet threatening to kill me. The fear, that bad feeling which had nestled in my heart and soul since then. The way I ran towards Edward, who was begging for my help. The way I couldn't stop my tears from running that day at the airport in Paris, when I had to say goodbye to Edward before I would head back home and he to Montréal. That continuous awful feeling that something bad was coming.

"Bella…" I felt a hand over my shoulder. I lifted my head up. I was consumed in my own thoughts, that I hadn't heard Alice and Jasper arriving. Alice was standing next to me and her pity look made me feel even worse. "How are you feeling sweetie?" She asked and stroked my back, while she sat next to me.

I tried to speak. I wanted to talk. But no word could come out of my mouth. Every word that I had in mind was lost in the emptiness and shallowness of my sorrow.

More tears appeared on the edge of my eyes, threatening to drown me in an endless sadness. Alice saw my devastated, heartbreaking expression and stroked my hair putting some, which was falling in my face, behind my ear. I couldn't hold myself anymore. I fell in her arms and poured my soul and emotions out to her.

"Alice…" More ugly sobs. "I swear, if anything happens to Edward…I…I…" My voice broke from the tears and my sobs. I gasped, as I tried to breathe and put some oxygen in my lungs.

"Sssshhh… Don't think like that. Everything is going to be ok. You'll see." She tried to console me.

"But…But it's all my fault! MY FAULT!" I yelled and grabbed her shirt tight, as I hid my face over her left shoulder.

Alice looked me in the eyes. "No, it's not your fault. It was just a bad moment. Which will pass and leave nothing but a dark memory back."

I moved my head. "I will die if anything happens to him. I have no reason to go on without him!" More cold tears streamed down my face and on Alice's black shirt.

"Bella…" Jasper sat on his knees beside me and took my hands in his. "Listen to me. You must be strong now. For Edward. For all of us."

I nodded trying with great difficulty to see him through my blurry vision.

He was right. I had to be strong.

And then it hit me. "You knew all this." I said turning to Alice. My words were supposed to be heard as an accusation, but I was too exhausted and emotionally drained and the result was just a silent whisper and a frown.

"I am sorry, Bella. I should have told you. I had no right to tell him anything. I already feel really guilty about it." She apologized with sincerity in her voice.

"Are you here for Mr. Edward Cullen?" The voice coming from the man in white standing next to us made me turn my head and my attention to him immediately.

"Yes, Doctor. I am Isabella Swan, his fiancée." I declared and wiped some tears away before standing up. "How is he? Will he live?"

I saw him pressing his lips firmly. "Mrs. Swan…"

My head started hurting real bad. My stomach turned and I had this awful feeling in my guts. There was something wrong with Edward.

"Doctor, what is happening?"

I felt Alice putting her hands on my shoulders.

"Bella, sweetie…"

"What is happening? Please tell me, Doctor!" I insisted with my voice rising and echoing in the hallway around us.

I saw him sighing and after he refrained from looking me directly in the eyes, he spoke silently and hesitantly. "Miss Swan, I am really sorry to inform you that Mr. Cullen…didn't make it."

"What?!" I shouted and made a move as if to reach for him. "What are you talking about?" I passed my hands over my face. "What did you just say?"

"Oh God…" Alice put her hand over her mouth the moment she realized that the words came out of her mouth. She didn't mean to be heard.

The doctor lifted his eyes up to my face and took a deep breath before repeating his words. "Edward Cullen didn't make it. He had lost too much blood and unfortunately, he had a stroke from the severe hit on his head during his car accident. We tried our best, but… I am really sorry, Mrs. Swan."

I was already devastated, sad, weak. But that pity look in his eyes made me angry, mad too. I didn't want anyone to feel bad for me. I wanted my Edward back! I wanted my reason to live back!

"No… No, I don't believe it." I said and moved my head.

"I am afraid it's the truth." The doctor pressed his lips and stroked my shoulder. "We did our best, but the crash was too harsh."

"No, no, no." I kept repeating and walked around myself hectically. "No, no. NO!"

"Hey, hey, Bells. Come on, dear. Breath." Alice put her tiny arms around my waist and tried to calm me down.

Reality started hitting me hard and gradually. "Oh my God…" I put my hands over my mouth, as a few tears started falling down my face, like the first raindrops falling from the clouds in the sky. "It can't be… No… Not my love. Not my Eddie…"

It was impossible to breathe. I felt as if someone was pressing my lungs so hard, that no air was left inside them and no oxygen could enter them. It was unbearable.

"I am really really sorry." The doctor said again and turned to leave.

"NOOOOOO!" I started shouting between sobs and Jasper came to help Alice hold me back and prevent me from following him.

"Bella, relax! Try to calm down."

But I didn't even pay attention to Jasper.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" I yelled on top of my lungs using the little air that was left inside me. I started sobbing hard and everything around me began getting darker and spinning faster and faster and faster…Till I saw only darkness in front of me and the voices calling my name around me were now heard from a long distance. And the distance became longer and longer with every beating second.

"Bella!" Alice's voice was the last thing I heard, before I felt my knees bending and my body becoming numb.

Edward was dead.

The truth of these words suffocated me and filled the place around me.

And then I felt nothing anymore. No pain. No tears. Nothing at all.

Everything became too bright, like an explosion of light, and then…dark. Only darkness surrounded me now. As if I was lost somewhere in the dark and vast space.

XXX

"Mummy."

"Yes, sweetie."

"Can you tell me a bedtime story?"

"Renesmee…"

My daughter gave me this adorable puppy look and held my hand in hers lovingly. "Pleaaase!"

I tried to deny it to her, but I couldn't. Not only did I love her more than my own life, but I also saw something more in her than just my daughter: I saw Edward too. She had his eyes and his look. Sometimes, I spent hours secretly staring at her and feeling closer to the man of my life. Even if it was for a while. Even if it wasn't real.

That horrible night at the hospital, when Edward…passed away, I fainted. I woke up the next morning disorientated and completely lost. Then, the doctor came in my room and he informed me that I was pregnant. That was the reason I passed out. I was too emotional, too sad, too resigned and my body couldn't take it. Everyone advised me to try and relax, eat something and think about my child. I remember Alice telling me one thing, which has remained in my head and in my heart till now.

"This baby is what is left from Edward in this world. Please, don't kill it too."

This was what kept me from falling apart. What gave me strength to try to move on. It wasn't easy. I spent hours crying and sobbing since then. Many sleepless nights praying that a miracle would happen and bring Edward back to me. Days that I woke up wishing falsely that Edward would be there sleeping next to me. Moments when our daughter did something for the first time, like her first laugh or the first time she walked or her first word, and I wished so much that Edward would be there to witness it too and smile widely like I did.

Raising a child by myself wasn't easy. My parents were always there for me. They supported me to the fullest and spent more time with me, now that I had moved back to Forks. They visited me and Renesmee every day and looked after her when I wasn't able to.

Esmee, on the other hand, never forgave me and basically accused me for her son's death. She hadn't even seen her own granddaughter. She had never even called. Only Edward's father called us once in a while and arranged secret meetings with me and Renesmee. He even had a hidden photo of her in his wallet, which he had never shown Esmee. Carlisle had tried to change her mind and explain how it wasn't my fault. That arguments between couples happen and that his accident was what cost his life, not me. He also mentioned the fact that my daughter's name derived from hers and my mother's names. Renee and Esmee. Renesmee. But even that didn't seem to affect her somehow.

Deep inside, though, I understood Esmee and kind of agreed with her. At first, I couldn't help blaming myself for having this unbelievably stupid argument with Edward and then storming out of the house, when what I really should have done was stay there, take him in my arms, kiss him and apologize with all my heart.

But I didn't.

And I will be regretting this for the rest of my life.

Because unfortunately, you can't take back what's already been done. You can't rewrite what's already been written. You can only live with your guilt and regret. And make peace with yourself, in order to move on.

Or at least that's what my therapist used to tell me. Everyone around me thought that visiting him often was a good idea, at least at first, while the wound of Edward's loss was still open and fresh. But I knew and they knew really well that this wound would never heal for me. It would remain open, new red blood coming out of it unstoppably.

It took me three whole years to reach that level of compromise. That point where I realize and accept what has happened and the fact that I am powerless and can't change the past. During all this time, Renesmee was the one thing which kept me sane. She is four years old now and she is the most precious thing for me in the whole world.

I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.

"Ok." I nodded. "I will tell you a story."

She clapped her hands. "Yay!" And she hugged me with this adorable, cute way that only she knew and made me forget of all my troubles.

"Once upon a time, there was a happy little girl with a big dream."

"What was her name, mum?"

"Um… Her name?"

Renesmee moved her head anticipating for my answer. For a writer someone would guess that character names would come easily to me. Well, that wasn't the case as it seems. I hadn't written a word for four years now. Thus, till I lost Edward. My inspiration had run out. Or it simply died, like the love of my life. Maybe he was my inspiration after all.

"Uh, I don't know. What do you want her name to be like?"

"Isabella!" Renesmee announced simply and passionately. "Like you, mummy!"

I pressed my lips and tried to smile. "Ok. Isabella then."

"What happened to Isabella?"

"Well," I put my arm around her and kissed her hair gently, bringing her closer to me and in my arms. "Isabella was living in a small and quiet town. Her parents loved her and she loved them as well. One day, something big happened to her. She travelled to another city!"

My daughter opened her mouth in owe. "Wow! How was that city?"

"It was enormous, with high skyscrapers, their windows shining like diamonds like the bright sunlight, with many cars and people on the streets. It was a majestic place full of new things and opportunities for her."

"Where is this city, mum? I want to go there." She said and batted her eyelashes.

I smirked. "The city is called New York and I promise I'll take you there once you get a bit older." I reassured her and continued narrating my story. "One day, as this girl was exploring this beautiful city, she met unexpectedly a handsome and kind prince."

"Ah! A prince?" She sounded so surprised. She loved princes and all the fairytales which involved them.

I nodded. "Yes!"

"Was he riding a horse?" She asked me and made me laugh.

"No, he didn't sweetie. Not all princes ride horses. Most of the times, they are ordinary people like me and you. But what makes them princes is their really good manners and how beautiful they are in their heart…" I put my hand over her heart, which was beating so fast against my skin. "…and minds." I added and touched the left side of her forehead.

"And what happened with the girl and that prince?"

"The prince was charming and the girl couldn't take her eyes off of him. But the girl was also very beautiful and sweet and he won the prince's heart instantly. After that first day they met, they became really good friends. They went to the park for a walk, they ate ice-cream and drank hot chocolate together and they were inseparable. They fell in love with each other deeply and after some time, the prince asked the girl to marry her. She was so happy and she loved him too, so she said yes with all her heart. And the girl married the prince and became a princess."

"Did they live in a palace?"

I giggled. "Yes, yes, they did. A very big, beautiful palace with a huge garden around it, where their kids, who they loved very very much, could play for the whole day!"

"There was a small lake too? With ducks?" She added and made me proud. My four-year-old girl was already making up her own stories. Maybe she was going to follow her mother's footsteps and become an author as well.

"Of course there was a lake too. With white and brown ducks. Swans too. And they lived happily together for many many years. The prince loved the princess and she loved him too."

"Mum?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

"Was daddy a prince too?"

My heart stopped beating for a second. I had showed her many photos of Edward, but nothing could replace her father's place. Nothing could bring him back for her. For both of us.

I moved my head and pressed my lips trying to talk as calmly as I could. "Yes, he was a real prince. He was kind and sweet and a gentleman."

"So, this prince's name was… Edward?" She asked me so simply and sweetly.

I breathed in. "Yes, it was Edward."

Renesmee seemed to be thinking about something and then spoke. "Would daddy love me if he was here? Like that prince loved the princess and their children?"

I swallowed hard and tried to hold back my tears. "Of course he would my sweet sweet girl! Because, you are a little princess too. And I know that daddy sees you from the sky and protects his little princess every single day."

Renesmee looked me in the eyes and smiled to me. "I love you, mummy." She told me and hugged me tightly.

"I love you too, Renesmee. Always."

"To the moon and back." She added.

"To the moon and back. Where daddy lives." I repeated our special mother-daughter moto. It was like our thing. I had told her that Edward was now living on the moon and he was looking after us and smiling to us happily.

My little girl yawned and I gave her a warm kiss on her forehead.

"Time to sleep." I whispered to her and took some locks of hair away from her eyes and stroked her white, soft face gently.

"Ok…" She managed to say and barely kept her eyelashes from shutting. "Will you tell me the rest of the story tomorrow, mummy?"

I smirked watching and admiring her secretly. "Of course I will my precious little angel. Now, go to sleep."

She didn't reply and I turned around ready to get up from her bed and let her rest. But then a tiny, soft hand grabbed my arm. Once I lifted my head up again, Renesmee fell in my arms forcefully, almost throwing both of us off the bed (luckily, I regained my balance the last moment) and hugged me tightly. My heart stopped and I could feel it melting under the strong light of the sun that was my daughter's love for me.

"Goodnight, mum!"

"Aw, goodnight, Renesmee!" I kissed her hair and put her back in bed. Afterwards, I put her pink and purple blanket over her to keep her warm.

Once I got out of the room, I put my hand over my mouth and prevented a small shout from coming out of it. My body was aching so bad. My heart even more. I put my hands over my belly and slowly slid down till I was sitting on the floor. I hid my face in my hands and let my tears appear and fall on me, like the rain which washes away everything.

Half an hour. That is how long I was crying and sobbing silently, right outside of my daughter's bedroom. I always thought that the wound would heal in time, but the past four years, I realized that this would never happen. When you lose someone, that scar remains open for a lifetime. Bleeding and reminding you of what you lost. Perhaps, after a long long time, that bleeding will diminish somehow. But it will never stop.

When I returned to my bedroom, I felt horrible. I had cried my eyes out and I was really tired. I got in bed slowly and laid my head back on my lonely pillow. My eyelashes flickered and the first colourful images of my dreams appeared in front of me. But at that exact moment, something happened and everything faded away in a split of a second. As if something had scared these images away.

"The phone?" I wondered, as I took my mobile phone in my hands and saw an unknown number calling me.

"Hello?"

No answer.

"Hello? Who is it?"

It was late and I was definitely not in the mood for jokes.

I was ready to hang up when…

"Bella…?"

Was I hearing right? It couldn't be.

"Yes…?"

There was silence again. "It's…me. Esmee… Esmee Cullen."

"E-Esmee?" I stood up on my bed, my back against the headboard.

"I'm sorry for calling at this time of the night… I…"

"No, no. It's ok." I hurried to reassure her. "I wasn't sleeping." I lied.

"I'm glad."

There was this awkward silence again and I couldn't understand what was going on. What was the reason for Edward's mother night call?

"How…How are you?" She asked hesitantly.

I didn't know what to answer. I mean, what do you reply to the deceased love of your life's mother, when she asks you something like that? 'I am devastated.' 'Heartbroken.' 'It's hard.' 'I miss Edward. Every day more and more.'

But instead I settled for the usual "We are…fine. I guess."

"And…how is…Renes-Renesmee?" She hesitated spelling out her name. As if she was afraid of something.

"She is doing really well, thank you." I replied to her and bit my lip trying to remember to breathe. "How are you doing? Carlisle?"

"We are…surviving I suppose." I heard her sighing. "Carlisle is out of the house most of the time. He spends hours in his company. You know. Work as a way of forgetting your pain."

I moved my head. I wish I could do that too… I was drained out of inspiration. Of ideas. I hadn't even touched my notebook for…well. Actually, for four whole years. For as long as my muse is gone.

"The reason I called you is…" She stopped talking. "You see… I found this photo of Renesmee that Carlisle has hidden in his wallet." She snorted. "The silly man thinks that I wouldn't find it. But I know him too well." She confessed and I tried to contain some new tears from appearing.

"He has it in his wallet?"

"Yes. And…she is so beautiful, Bella!" Her voice broke into millions of pieces. I could imagine her putting her hand over her mouth and being on the verge of crying. "She reminds me so much of Edward."

I nodded. "She looks a lot like him, yes." I wiped away some tears from my cheeks. "She is a wonderful little human too, you know. She is so sweet, kind, clever. She is adorable."

"I can imagine…" Esmee's voice was barely heard. "Bella, I-I am so sorry…"

"Esmee, you don't have to…"

"Please, listen to me." I ceased speaking and paid attention to what she had to say. "I am sorry for blaming you for Edward's accident. It wasn't you. It was…fate, I guess. And I am sorry for not talking to you for all these years. For missing all this precious time with my granddaughter. And with you. I wish I could somehow gain back that time…"

"And I wish I could turn back time." I admitted with a broken voice and passed my hand over my nose gently. I was crying. "I wish I could go back to that terrible night and prevent that fight with Edward from happening."

"Oh Bella…" Esmee remained silent and I knew that she was crying too.

I've never been so close to my mother-in-law, than in this very moment. The moment when we practically shared the exact same emotions. Pain. Devastation. Relief. Missing someone we both loved deeply.

I wanted to reconcile with her. I wanted her to be part of my daughter's life.

"Esmee…I was thinking…" I started talking trying to put it the best way possible, in order to not scare her away. "You and Carlisle could come and visit her anytime you want." There was silence for a while and I was afraid she didn't like what I was implying there: to basically start talking with me again and try to forget our bad past. Therefore, I added: "If you want to that is. No pressure."

"Bella," She replied immediately. "I definitely want to see my granddaughter. And I for sure want to talk to you again."

I moved my head and felt happy and relieved. So relieved. As if the burden of carrying the whole world on my shoulders was lifted over me at last. "Then, my house is open for you. Anytime you can, we'll be here waiting for you guys."

I heard her sniffing and then she talked again. "Thank you, Bella."

"You don't have to thank me for anything. I forgive you and I hope you forgive me too." I said full of regret and basically hoping that she won't bare a grudge anymore. We need to bury the hatchet for Renesmee's sake. We must be united at least for her.

"There's nothing to forgive you my dear." She sighed heavily. "It pains me, it hurts knowing that I will never see my son again, but I have come to terms with the fact that it wasn't your fault. I guess…I was just trying to find someone to put the blame on. I shouldn't have. You are in terrible pain, probably more than we will ever know."

"It's been hard…" I admitted. "I don't think this wound will ever heal. It keeps bleeding inside me slowly and steadily."

"I know. I know the feeling. But we have to live with it." She suggested and inside me I knew pretty well, that this was the only way. The only option for us to move on, but in the same time with Edward beside us.

"Thank you for this call. You did me so well." I told Esmee sincerely.

"Thank you for accepting my apology. I promise I'll talk with Carlisle and we'll pay you a visit asap."

I smiled. "And we'll be happy to see you." And it was true. I have talked to Renesmee about her grandparents and she asks me quite often about them. She wants to know them too.

"And Bella."

"Yes?"

"I've noticed I haven't seen any book of yours being published for…years." She didn't mention the number. She knew the reason why. As I knew it too.

"Yeah…I…"

"Start writing again. You have it. You always did. It's inside you. Try to make peace with yourself and put your thoughts, your feelings in words." She advised me and something inside me woke up.

"Thank you for your support, Esmee." I couldn't hide my grin. I put my hand over my heart. "I'll try."

"Goodnight, Bella. Give a kiss to my granddaughter from me."

"I will. Goodnight, Esmee!"

When I hung up and put my mobile phone back on my nightstand, my eyes fell on its drawer. I opened it. The light of the lamp on the wooden furniture was shedding light on the shiny pink cover of my -unused for years- notebook. I smiled slightly reminiscing of how Edward made fun of me for still loving the colour pink, despite my age. I always knew he never meant it though. He was just teasing me.

I took the notebook in my hands slowly. Cautiously, as if it was capable of burning my skin. But it didn't. Once I reached for the blue pen, my hands started moving on their own. It was like they had their own will, their own brain. And they wrote. Words, lines, ideas, thoughts. It was all there. Crystal clear, like the blue waters of the summer sea. It seems that for me, writing was like breathing; I would never forget how to do it.

I lifted my head up towards the ceiling, but aiming for the sky, and I smiled. I smiled widely and contently. After a long long time, I could finally smile again.

"Thank you!" I said simply and felt myself getting emotional.

Who I was talking to? Edward of course. I might be getting crazy, but something in my soul reassured me that he was watching over me and that all these good things that had happened to me those past few minutes -Esmee calling me, my inspiration returning to me- had something to do with him.

"I miss you…" I whispered above me, hoping that my voice could reach him, wherever he was. "I'll never forget you, Edward." My stare fell on our photo on my nightstand. Me and him smiling to each other casually, carefree, happily.

I wished for the millionth time, from the bottom of my heart, that Edward had met Renesmee and our daughter had known her father.

I took our photo in my hands. "I love you, Edward!"

I talked to his figure behind the glass and stroked him with my finger lovingly. His face, his smile, his shoulders, his chest.

"Always and forever."

And I kissed his photo goodnight bringing him close to my heart. Where he belonged.

XXX

Chapter end notes: So, this was it. This was the sad alternative ending. I decided to post this too, so that you have a more spherical view of the two endings I had in mind. Of course the happy ending, the one that's been already posted, is the ending that this story has. For some time, I have to admit, I preferred the sad ending. It made me emotional writing it. Really sad and a bit teary. This is officially the very end of my story "Broken Dreams". Thank you so much all of you who read it and reviewed. Means a lot to me. You made my days many times. Seriously. Please, let me know which ending you prefer. The happy or the sad one? Thanks once again and take care everyone! :)

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