Chapter 1. Through glass

Hey everyone!

This is my first attempt to write a story in here all alone. I have written a whole book in my language and I am in search of a company that would be interested to publish it. In the meanwhile, I love writing stuff and this is something new for me. I use the names that you know from the very famous twilight saga, but I have to inform you, the plot has nothing at all to do with the actual characters and the plot. It's completely different. I hope you'll like it, cause this idea just popped out of my head a while ago and since then, it's been developing and I want to write it. I don't intend to write it all, unless I have readers and reviews. Because reviews makes us better writers (if that's what I am.) So PLEASE review!

P.S. The story will get gradually rated M. It will get kinda...naughty at some chapters. ;-)

LIKE the page of the story at facebook – /BrokenDreamsFanfic (search us at facebook's search machine or copy this and paste it at the end of your facebook homepage link)

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything else that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. Only the story idea belongs to me.

XXX

"I'm looking at you through the glass.

Don't know how much time has passed.

Oh God it feels like forever

but no one ever tells you

that forever feels like home

sitting all alone inside your head."

XXX

"Mrs. Isabella Swan.

We would like to inform you about your book. After a thorough examination and careful reading, we decided that it doesn't suit our company's publishing program.

Therefore, we are not interested in your story.

Thank you for choosing to send your work to us.

We wish you good luck for the future."

I kept looking the mail again and again. It wasn't like I received something like that for the first time. It was the 20th publishing company which had rejected my book. Two years now I kept looking and searching for a company that would accept my novel.

But no matter how hard I had tried, what this book meant for me -it was like my "child" and my friends laughed at me when I called it like that- I still couldn't get what I mostly wanted. My effort, my love for writing wasn't recognized.

I put my mail back in the envelope and threw it on my desk.

"That's it. I'm done. I give up.", I whispered with a silent tear running down my cheek.

I took my mobile phone in my hands and dialed a number.

"Hello?" The girl's welcoming voice on the other side of the line replied.

"Angela, it's me."

"Bella! Hey! How are…"

"My book got rejected again." I stopped my friend, before she could even finish her sentence.

"Oh…" was the only thing Angela said.

For a dew more seconds the silence was awkward and excruciating.

"Bella, dear. Do you want us to meet? My place? Yours? Somewhere else?"

My friend's suggestion sounded more than good to me. It was exactly what I needed. I didn't think about it any longer. "That would be great. What about meeting at the park near your house?"

"That's cool. See you there."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

I was ready to hang up when…

"And Angela…"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

XXX

It took me five minutes to change my outfit, wear my shoes and go to meet my friend. The weather was sunny, but very cold. My black sweater and my woolen jacket helped me stay cozy and warm.

"Hello, sweetie!" Angela gave me a big, warm hug. I couldn't stand it anymore and I burst into tears.

"Bella, come on. It's ok, it's ok…" She tried to console me, but in vain. "I'm sorry about that. Really. But don't lose hope!"

"I…I…just…" A new wave of tears came out of my eyes and I ceased talking.

After a few more moments with both of us standing in the same place, right in the middle of the park and next to the beautiful fountain, me crying on Angela's shoulder, I finally took a deep breath, wiped away my tears and looked at my friend's face.

"Angela, I am really sorry for all this. Really sorry."

"Bella. Be serious, please. No need to apologize."

We walked through the park talking about silly, insignificant things in order to help me forget. People were passing by, families, lovers, friends, enjoying the sunny weather despite the cold.

"You know, they killed my dreams…"

Angela looked at me in surprise without understanding a thing.

"Being a writer, seeing my story published was the only thing I really wanted. And instead, these heartless people keep rejecting me with the same lame excuse; "…Your story doesn't match our publishing program!"" I grimaced imitating the last sentence, still looking at the space in front of us, while sitting on a bench.

"I know. But ignore them! We all like your story! We are your fans!" Angela smiled and winked to me causing both of us to burst into laughter.

"You are a treasure girl. You really are.", I said and looked down playing with my fingers and becoming serious again. "But I don't think I'll go on with this anymore."

"What?" My friend sounded too surprised.

"Yes, Angela. It's over. For good. I'm obviously not good at this. I'm not going on with the pursuit of a dream that's never gonna come!"

"That's silly, Bella! If every person on this world gave up and said what you told me right now, we would all be miserable."

"But we actually are."

"No!", she contradicted to my opinion. "We damn aren't! Think of all these people who got rejected, just like you and they still hoped! And they made it! So many…artists, singers, actors, even writers!"

I turned and starred at my friend.

"Look, I don't wanna give you fake hopes and I wouldn't, if I didn't know how amazing and genuine your book is!" Angela stopped and took a deep breath. "I mean this is what you really want to do, isn't it? What you really love?"

I just nodded. Oh yes. I knew it too well. It was what I wanted to be, a writer.

"Then for God's sake, go for it!" My friend almost yelled in her effort to convince me and give me strength. "Don't let anyone tell you, you can't pursuit your dreams, your chance of happiness."

Angela's words stuck in my mind and settled there. There was a part of me which had abandoned every hope all this time that I had been trying to find a publishing company for my book. But that other tiny part of me wanted to believe my friend's honest words and keep up searching for a company which would be interested in my story.

I just left a deep, loud sigh.

"Did you tell Jacob?"

I shook my head in reply avoiding eye-contact with her. I felt guilty for some reason. Maybe because things haven't been so well for us lately. We both knew it.

"I think you should tell him, Bella." Angela advised me in a soft way. "I mean…If you still want to be with him and have him in your life…"

I remained silent, lost in my own thoughts. Considering of how incompetent I suddenly felt and how messed up my life was.

"I know, Angela." I finally whispered. "And I will talk to him."

"Good.", my friend replied moving her hand in comply.

XXX

I spent the rest of the afternoon with Angela and when the weather started getting worse -it seemed like rain was coming and it was even colder and windier now- we returned home. After calling my dad, Charlie, and my mum, Rene to inform them about my book's news, I called Jacob Black, my boyfriend. After all, he was a part of my life and he had to know what was going on, if I wanted to give us a chance.

"Babe, I am so sorry to hear that. Do you want to discuss it? I mean…I can…come over there, give you a big hug and keep you cozy in my arms…"

I laughed with his attempt to comfort me. "Well, it sounds very interesting and tempting but…"

"That "but" again." Jacob's frustrated voice felt like a stabbing pain in my heart.

"Jake, there's really no need for that. I'm…ok. I guess."

"You guess? That's not an answer, Bella. I'm coming over there."

"No! Please!" I was begging now? What was wrong with me? In the past I would take advantage of every chance to see my lovely boyfriend. "I just wish to be alone for a while." I merely lied. Only merely. I wanted to stay alone, but there was also that feeling…that distance between us, which seemed to be growing bigger and bigger. And I couldn't stop blaming myself for that.

"OK. As you wish." Jacob sounded resigned. He always listened to my desires, never pressed me too much on anything. "If there is something I can do, just call me. Any time. Or even better, pass by. Billy won't have any problem." There was a slight laughter heard on the other side of the telephone when he was saying these words.

He wanted to see me, that was obvious. But he was too polite to ask me in the condition I was at that moment. And I knew his father Billy wouldn't mind me going there. We had done this many times and his dad was very kind and liked me much. Jacob kept living with his father since his mother had died, almost nine years ago, in a terrible fire that destroyed the factory she worked in and caused grieve to many workers' families. Since then the two men have passed many hard times. Getting over the loss of their beloved wife and mother was more than they could handle. Only the last three years they both managed to completely let Sarah go and move on with their lives. Jake worked at Billy's cars service and he was really good at that.

Jacob and I used to go to the same school and our friendship had already evolved into a relationship a few months before his mother's, Sarah's, death. Since then we have been getting even closer showing affection and love to each other. I felt devastated for what had happened to him and I tried to be there and support him in every way possible. His father, Billy had once told me that I was making his son happy and that was more than enough for him.

That reminiscent was enough to make me feel even more guilty about what I was going to say.

"OK, Jake. I'll have that in mind. Goodnight."

My cold words seemed to give him his answer.

"Goodnight beautiful!"

I hated what I did to him. How I behaved to him. I didn't like it. I had to pull myself together and work things out.

It was 11 o'clock at night and I could get no sleep. My mind was constantly repeating those same words from the letter over and over again:

"We are not interested in your story."

I shook my head trying to throw the thoughts away. OK, I was young. Only 25. But that doesn't mean I couldn't be a writer. I had many fresh ideas for stories. And the English literature studies at my university had given me even more qualifications. The bookstore job wasn't enough for me anymore. Never was it actually. It provided me with the money I needed to pay my own expenses, but I wasn't content. At first I found it charming being among all these books and school equipment, but now… Well, many things had changed now.

I took a warm, fluffy blanket, wore my pyjamas, lied down on the couch at my living room and turned on the TV to watch a movie or anything that would distract me.

And then I saw him. The most handsome man on the planet; Edward Cullen. The remote control dropped from my hands, the exact same time when my mouth fell wide open.

He was gorgeous. Tall, thin and fit with beautiful, big, blue eyes His hair was short, rich and light-brown and he had the most luscious red lips in the world. He was just…indescribable. I couldn't say that I wasn't ashamed for the way I was thinking about him. There I was, a twenty-five-year-old woman being starstruck by a celebrity.

"I'm too old for this stuff.", I kept reminding myself every time I looked at him through the TV glass. I had a life, miserable even though it was, a boyfriend and many dreams. But whenever I saw Edward Cullen, something made me forget all about this and dream away.

I spent the rest of the night in a dream-like state. After the film finished, one of my most favourite ones which I watched for the tenth time and still wasn't bored of, I was so lost and tired that I fell asleep right there, on the couch without realizing it. And nothing changed in my dreams either. Edward Cullen was the protagonist in there too.

XXX

~Chapter end notes~ So guys, that's it. The first chapter of my story. I hope you liked it. I will update soon. I know I made Bella kinda...bad and awful, but she is just insecure. We all feel lost sometimes in our lives and that is her time. The time when all our dreams are destroyed and you try to find out the pieces of you and put them into an order. Enough said. Till next time.

© Copyright Imaginary Witch