(a very long) A/N: BELATED HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Right, I started this in mid-November, would you believe? Some days I managed to add miniscule (like, 12 words or so. Yeah, no lie.) amounts to it. The other days, I didn't manage to add anything. It's a very long, slow-baked process, courtesy of the usual Uni deadlines and also this latest shitty saga going on at home, eating away at all my holiday time (-_-)'

Right, this was originally meant to be a oneshot, but it's becoming much longer than I expected it to be. So I'll upload what I have so far in parts, and then finish the last few bits whenever I get the chance to do so. Dunno how many chapters it's going to be ATM *shrugs*

For those of you waiting on the next chapter of GD...please continue to be patient, and I hope this may be received as some form of literary compensation . with everything going on in terms of uni, and home stuff, I am actually very, very surprised that this has been completed. I don't think I'll be able to post anything anytime soon, perhaps not even til the summer holidays begin :(

Also! If, for some (highly unlikely) reason you've accidently made it here, without meaning to, this fic is rated M for all the reasons big, grown-up people read M-rated fics; there is swearing, (some) violence and hot, steamy man-sex. If it's not your cup of cocoa, please kindly use your back button and navigate away from this page. Everyone else, enjoy ;)

And no, I do not own Naruto, the characters, or anything etc etc, blahblahblahhhh, unless I wake up tomorrow and my name is Masashi Kishimoto. Hmm.

Lastly, and most importantly, this fic is dedicated to the one and only MoonShadeRF, without whom it would have simply been an unfinished, jumbled stash of ideas, festering away in some random corner of my mind O.O thanks again for helping me bring it to life! I love you~! ^.^ - x

Ok, rant over. ONWARD!

Barista ("Baa-REES-tah"): a person who makes and serves coffee in a coffee bar. In Italian, it literally means 'bartender' :)

"Number twelve?" Naruto called once, and then tried again. "Number twelve, small hot chocolate!"

"Oh, here!" waved a girl by the counter, stepping forward.

The blonde smiled, handing her the warm, polystyrene cup. He turned his attention back to the long line of receipts pinned to the wall above his head, and selected the closest one. 27 - Medium latte, the slip dictated. He moved towards the coffee machine.

It was a chilly Friday evening in the last week of November, and the Roast coffee house was packed. Scores of people were queuing up, determined to grab some form of steaming beverage for their journey home. 5pm for a barista signalled the final peak time of the day; everyone seemed to flood in either first thing in the morning - usually the addicts who couldn't actually function without the daily refills of caffeine simmering through their systems - lunchtime, or after work. Now, every employee would be on their toes until the place closed at six thirty.

More than a fucking hour away, Naruto thought, checking the clock above the door. He sighed, exhausted. Today had been his long shift, and he'd been serving, pouring and flipping for nearly nine hours straight. His cheeks ached from smiling almost non-stop, and his feet seemed to scream over the chatter and noise, begging for a break. He ignored his body and focused on the task at hand.

Naruto did one of his usual scans across the entire floor, noting the table occupants - lone businessmen and women in suits, catching up on whatever was going on in the world via newspapers. Students huddled around in laughing groups, or alone, completely absorbed in their laptops. Couples shared a slice of cake, unable to tear their eyes from each other for more than a minute.

Routine as ever, he decided dryly. It was the same scene every day, and he knew it would be almost identical this time tomorrow. After working at Roast for nearly a year, the blonde had gotten used to practically everything about the place.

"Naruto!" his co-worker called from the till. "Check that Panini, would you? I think it's ready."

"Busy, Sakura!" he shouted back, preparing another order. Steam billowed out from the machine as it emptied its contents into the waiting container below. He craned his neck over the crowd of customers and noticed the third barista heading towards the counter, an empty plate in his hands. "Oi, Uchiha," he grunted. "Get the Panini."

Well, nearly everything. He still had to get used to their newest recruit.

The taller male sidled past a waiting man and approached Naruto. The blonde turned away, busying himself with finding a lid for the cup. He hoped he wasn't fidgeting. For some reason he could never pinpoint, he always got nervous whenever the other boy was close. And his attitude didn't help things either.

"Why should I?" Sasuke replied, cocking his head slightly. He seemed completely at ease, like the crowded coffee lounge were his own living room. "I don't want to. You do it."

"Have you seen these orders?" Naruto gestured to the list of receipts once, and then faced the crowd. "Twenty-seven, medium latte!"

"Thanks." The man who had been waiting left with his drink.

"Go." Naruto titled his head in the direction of the grill.

"Who graduated and made you boss, Uzumaki?" Sasuke smirked down at him. "You get it. I'll do the coffees. Mine turn out better than yours do, anyway."

It took a lot of willpower not to respond to that taunt. "I'm doing them, just fucking go already!" Naruto cried, grabbing two more receipts.

"Language!" Sakura shrieked, handing change to another customer. A few people were looking at him now. "And get to the grill!"

"Sasuke's doing it!" he yelled back, and then met the other boy's eyes at last. He tried to look tough, and narrowed his bright blue eyes into menacing slits. Sasuke stared back coolly, completely unfazed. Naruto felt something grate away at his nerve endings when he spotted pure, unhidden amusement dancing in those dark eyes. It was pissing him off.

"Am not!" the raven said now, smiling. He tore off a receipt and side-stepped next to Naruto, nudging him slightly. "Go on. Atta boy." Then he winked.

Snap.

Something about the way the bastard had said those last words had done it. The way he'd laced his voice with such ease, such casualness, like he knew - as though the prick had no fucking doubt - that all he had to do was use that tone to get what he wanted. He'd spoken low, almost seductively near Naruto's ear. The blonde clenched his teeth in rage, hands shaking. Why did the guy have to be so deliberately arrogant? It was irritating. Infuriating.

And damn right annoying.

It was that voice, he would later come to decide, which drove his next actions. Not really thinking, Naruto reached out for the nearest thing to him, his right hand closing around the handle of a large milk jug. With a frustrated cry, he twisted his body and hurled the entire thing at Sasuke.

The next few seconds seemed to pass in extra slow-motion.

Nearby customers watched with open mouths as the scene unfolded before them. Sakura had dropped whatever she'd been doing and moved towards them, knowing only too well what was coming next. Sasuke stepped back in alarm, but it was too late; there had only a small space between the two boys. Naruto looked up, feeling raw adrenaline coursing through his veins; the look on the bastard's face now was easily worth any consequence waiting for him. The blonde had never known any sweeter satisfaction than this moment, right here.

Everyone stared as the milk flew out of the jug and rose into the air like a thick ribbon of silk. It seemed to hover for a moment, and then descended, crashing over the raven and covering him with warm, white droplets. It cascaded into his hair, completely flattening it, before trickling down his face. His t-shirt was soaked, and clung to his torso. The liquid ran down his bare arms, over the clenched fists at his sides and dripped noisily to the floor. Even his thick eyelashes were glistening with the stuff when he finally opened his eyes and fixed Naruto with a deadly expression.

Ironically, the black apron tied around his waist remained dry.

There was a sudden hushed "oooohh" from the customers, before Sasuke let out a terrifying snarl and lunged for the blonde. However, the puddle of milk by his feet made the Uchiha skid and he practically fell right into Naruto, causing them both to tumble to the floor.

Neither seemed to even notice.

The two males grappled, kicked, punched, tore, and scratched at each other, grabbing whatever they could and slipping every so often from the mess on the ground. Swear words and insults were exchanged. Hair was pulled at viciously. They rolled around like animals, while Sakura stood over them, yelling at them to stop. Curious (and somewhat brave) customers peered round the counter for a better view. A few actually left the shop, scared. Sasuke had managed to land a solid punch to the other boy's gut, who cried out in pain before clawing at his face, cutting his cheek.

Sasuke howled, and used all his energy to pin Naruto down, slamming him hard against the floor. He was just about to throw another punch to the blonde's face, when a firm hand grabbed his wrist from behind. Before he could resist, he was pulled to his feet with surprising force.

"Enough."

The voice was stern, but oddly calm at the same time. Naruto looked up from the ground and glanced behind Sasuke, guilt slowly creeping into his expression.

"Kakashi-san..." he began weakly.

"Office." Kakashi said dangerously. "Both of you."

The Panini lay smouldering in the grill, forgotten.

"I..." Kakashi began, seating himself behind the desk. "I honestly don't know how to deal with the two of you anymore."

Neither boy met his eyes. They simply stood there, silent and apprehensive. Either looked as uncomfortable as the other, Naruto fidgeting with the fraying strands on his apron, and Sasuke periodically licking his dry lips.

"Sasuke," he addressed the younger male, noting how the raven ever so slightly winced as he spoke. "You've been here just over a month. Naruto has been in doing thirty hours a week for the past year, and I've never had a single complaint from anyone about him. He works ridiculously hard and gets along with all the other staff. He's not given me any cause for concern, not even once. However, on the few days his shift collides with yours, there are serious problems."

He folded his arms, fixing the Uchiha with a calculating look. "Care to tell me why?"

Sasuke swallowed. He could feel it in his fucking bones; today, he would be sent back to the shadowy realm of the unemployed. Goodbye pay check, he thought miserably.

Had it been worth it? Losing his job over something like this? Sure, Sasuke was provided with a never-ending sense of amusement, simply by pissing the blonde off with just a few, innocent words. He made it so fucking easy too. And the reactions! Naruto's expressions were entertaining to say the least; the way his eyes would screw up in annoyance, how his face would start turning several shades brighter, and the sudden nervous mannerisms. It was almost cute, now that he thought about it.

But he hadn't meant for things to go this far. Getting called into the boss's office after a full-on fist fight with another worker had never been part of the plan. It was the first decent job he'd come across in months, and the Uchiha badly needed the money.

"Kakashi-san," he sighed, trying to sound less desperate than he actually was. "Yes, Naruto and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye on a lot of things. But in this situation, I honestly don't believe it's my fault. He turned our usual, completely harmless verbal exchange into something physical, which I wasn't intending. No matter what happens, we've never actually gotten into a fight before. I was as surprised as you were."

Naruto turned to him, enraged.

"Don't you dare, you sick bastard!" he yelled. "Don't act like this was my fault, you know exactly what you were doing to me! It's always you who starts crap like this!"

"You started it with the milk." Sasuke countered softly. It was vital that he remain calm.

"Kakashi-san, don't listen to him!" Naruto cried "He's always making fun of me, or undermining what I do, or some other thing to annoy me! He does it deliberately, I swear, anyone can tell!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Naruto." Sasuke replied, a touch of innocence to his tone. "If you find what I say so irritating, why don't you just say so? It's not like I'd continue knowingly afterwards."

"Just fire him already! I can't work around him!"

"Alright!" Kakashi said loudly, raising his palms. "I've heard enough, and we're not getting anywhere."

He was quiet a moment, rubbing at his temples with long fingers, massaging gently.

"Quite frankly," he sighed, eyes closed. "Someone else sitting in this chair right now would fire both of you for causing such a scene. At peak time, no less! We had to stop serving early because there was no way Sakura could have handled everyone in that queue. God only knows how many customers we turned away. All because you two don't like each other. It's pathetic."

He looked up, and the two boys held their breath, waiting. They felt like lambs being led by the neck to a slaughterhouse. Naruto gulped loudly.

"However..." He continued. "I cannot overlook the fact that Naruto is most likely the best barista I have ever come across. I rely on him more than any of my other workers, and I would be losing a valuable asset if he were to leave."

Naruto could feel himself beginning to relax; he could literally feel the massive weight on his shoulders starting to dissolve away, bit by bit. Kakashi-san, I actually love you, he thought, relieved.

"And Sasuke," he turned to the other boy. "I'm uneasy about letting you go too. For the short time you've been here, you've really grown accustomed to the way things run. I've seen how you handle orders and customers. Every task you do out is carried out flawlessly. And you waste no time in your actions. Though this may not be the most appropriate time to tell you this, things definitely do run smoother with you around."

Sasuke was stunned. Ten minutes ago, he had been expecting Kakashi to ask him for his name tag and apron, before sending him on his merry way; he was not expecting to be praised to the high heavens about the way he did his job. Well, it wasn't exactly something to be complaining about.

Naruto didn't look so impressed anymore.

"The only outstanding issue is regarding your attitudes toward each other." Kakashi said. "So I am hereby proposing a deal."

The momentary relief the two baristas felt was replaced by a sudden wave of unease.

"Next week is the start of December," He began. "And the lounge needs to be done up appropriately for the Christmas season. It's a big task; the windows, walls, ceilings and counter will all need attention. I've ordered a tree, which is currently in the back. It needs to be unpacked and decorated with tinsel, lights and all the rest of it."

Kakashi stood up, resting his hands on the desk, leaning over them. "I want the two of you to decorate the place for Christmas." He said, smiling slightly. "Not only will this force you to work together, and try and get along, but it's also an ideal punishment for causing such chaos in my coffee lounge. I had originally planned for everyone to come in on the weekend and we'd do it together, but I guess that will no longer be necessary. And I'll get to enjoy two days off."

A heavy silence met his words for a few moments.

"Kakashi-san," Sasuke croaked when he finally found his voice. "You're not seriously suggesting that Naruto and I are to stay behind, after work hours, to decorate the entire shop?"

"Alone!" Naruto squeaked. "Boss, if you left us together alone, we'd kill each other!"

"That's the whole point." Kakashi replied, and both boys saw something almost sinister in his eyes. "The only thing putting your jobs in jeopardy right now is this ridiculous inability to work around each other. I am willing to overlook it, if you are willing to prove to me that it won't be a problem in the future. I don't want your little personal issues affecting my business. Co-operation and tolerance are the lessons to be learnt here. It's a shame that it's come to this, but consider it as one final chance to impress me. Do a good job of getting this place ready for Christmas, and I'll let you stay. If I walk in on Monday morning and find the place wrecked..."

He paused dramatically, and smiled to himself when it had the desired effect. "I promise you both, no amount of running, hiding or identity change will offer you any protection from me. I will find you, and you will be sorry. Now, any questions?"

A/N: 'The Roast Coffee House' is based on the place I get my morning and evening coffees almost every day. The staff are AWESOME. But no, there are no hot Naruto or Sasuke look-alikes, sadly... :'( I was waiting in line one day when the general idea just flooded my mind, and I was grinning by the time my gingerbread latte arrived O

Folks, if you've made it this far, please be a star and give me some feedback. It's just another, what, 20 seconds? Please? I'm still pretty new to the world of writing fanfiction! *puppy dog eyes*

Thanks for reading! (^.^) Please review!

TAM