I just love the Shinji Hiyori paring! I wrote this back in 2012 right after Hiyori had gotten hurt and I was theorizing who would go back to the SS. Most of my predictions were right, save one urgh like Sherlock, "there's always something!" But anyways, I was going through my stuff trying to get the juices flowing and I decided to edit this story again, hey writers always do that, we're never really satisfied. Anyways hope you like it, and check out my other stuff from the Bleach Uni that I wrote, CANNOT BELIEVE ITS ENDING SOON! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE!...

Moving right along, Love always

DMA

Disclaimer: Do not own bleach or it's characters...yet teeheehee

She had made the choice not to go back. When the old man had offered them full pardons and their positions back in the Gotei, she had instantly known what her decision would be. A resounding and strong "NO", there was no going back, no forgiving the fact that they had been outcast and hunted, no forgetting who they had become and what they had done. Nothing could change that, not the Gotei and their fancy words or decrees. Not their pleads and pardons, nothing, she couldn't go back and she had thought that the rest of them had felt like that as well. She didn't understand how she had been wrong.

She had been sitting on the roof of the warehouse staring off at the horizon of Karakura when she felt Shinji approach. "Hey monkey what are you doing up here? You know you're not fully healed yet, this rain will get to you."

She didn't respond. She hadn't spoken once since he, Rose, and Kensei had announced their decision to return to the Soul Society and accept the pardon from Yamamoto. "Hey did ya hear me?" Hiyori continued to ignore him, she drew the blanket around her tighter refusing to look at him. She kept her eyes focused on the distant horizon. There was silence between them for several minutes.

Suddenly the back end of her blanket was lifted up from behind and warm arms encircled her. His head was on her shoulder and his lips on her ear. "Hiyori…"

"Don't Shinji," she tried to struggle from his grasp, but he held her tightly. Had she been at full strength his grip wouldn't have held her, but she was still healing from Gin's blow.

"Hiyori….."

"I said don't!" her voice was harsher this time and it silenced him. He sighed pulling her tighter against him his legs rising on either side of her, her back against his chest. She didn't want to be held by him. She was angry, she wanted to be as far away from him as possible, but at the same time her heart was breaking and she wanted to be in his arms. Even with the anger she felt she wanted to be snuggled safely with him covering her, his skin on hers, his soft lips on her own, his fingers caressing her neck the way he did when they were alone. She wanted things to be the way that they had been for the past eighty years that they had been together.

Finally he broke the silence, "Hiyori….please don't do this."

She kept her silence. "I'm begging ya, come with me. Forget all the things that have happened put it away, put it behind you and come with me."

She didn't answer him, her gaze fixed on the point she had found earlier. "I don't want to leave you….."

"But you will Shinji, you've already decided that you will, and even if I don't go, even if I asked you to stay and you were tempted for even a moment, you'd still go." His arms tightened around her, bringing her closer to him.

"Hiyori I have to go, the 5th is in shambles because of me, I failed as a Capitan. I let Aizen get the better hand and because of that everything that's happened….it's all on my shoulders….."

"Cut the crap you idiot," she pulled herself away from him and adjusted the blanket. "You aren't responsible for the actions of someone else Shinji, especially not that psychopath Aizen, you were never responsible for him."

"But I saw through him…I knew he was…."

"Yeah yeah and we all knew that Kenpachi would get killed sooner or later, but we didn't stop him from raging into battle now did we. And look what happened Zaraki went and killed him and took his place. We aren't responsible for the actions or other people's decisions Shinji." She felt his lips brush against her neck.

"Hiyori, I can't see it that way," he whispered in her ear. "I'm responsible for it all, for this…" his hands brushed against her stomach where there was now a thin scar that marred her skin.

"Responsible for what?"

"For you almost dying…."

"Peft that's a stupid thing to say. I didn't die, I didn't lose any organs, I didn't lose anything but time….and gained a memory…but you're not responsible for anything. Nothing happened….."

"It did happen Hiyori," his grip on her tightened suddenly. "I gained a memory too. A memory that I never wanted. You lying in my arms bleeding to death, half of you gone, the hope in your eyes fading. I watched as you lost…..and it's my fault that it happened….if I hadn't let you…"

She turned around in his arms and glared at him, "If you had done anything differently, if we had done anything differently things might not have turned out the way that they did. We may have lost more than just time."

"Hiyori…."

"Shinji….my life has revolved around you and this family for a long time….you and them….they're all I have….and now you're leaving because of some stupid feelings of guilt that you shouldn't carry, and I can't ask you to stay because it would go against everything."

"Hiyori….don't…."

"Shinji," her fingers clutched at the front of his shirt. "You're the most important thing I've ever known….and now you're leaving because they failed, not you. They failed to see what Aizen was. They failed to believe in their own people. They failed to believe in you, and they failed in trying to understand. So in my eyes they brought all this upon themselves, and you shouldn't have to carry this burden upon your shoulders. But you do, and even after all this time, no matter what I've said to you, you'll still go because of this stupid guilt that shouldn't be yours."

"Hiyori…." He leaned in and buried his face against her neck, "Come with me. Please?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck, "Shinji I'd do anything for you, but that…..I can't do that."

It had been the hardest day of her life, watching those three walk away. Despite all they had been through, despite all the pain they were causing by choosing others over their family. Lisa had refused to say goodbye to them, but Hiyori knew she was watching them leave from her window. She wouldn't have been able to forgive herself if she hadn't watched Rose leave. Hachi had bowed to all of them and wished them well with his gentle nature and sad smile of understanding. Love had shaken their hands and nodded to each of them with respect. He had promised to look after everyone, and to make sure they all stayed out of trouble. Hiyori suspected that a part of him wanted to go with the three of them, she didn't know what had held him back, but she was thankful for it.

For the first time in her entire life Mashiro had been silent, not a peep had been heard from her since the sun rose that morning. Not even when Kensei had stood before her demanding that she stop moping. Even with his yells and jabs she had refused to look at him, or when he had taken her chin in his fingers gently and forced her eyes to his. Nor even when he had kissed her gently on the lips and then the forehead. Not a word came from the green haired women. Before departing Kensei had whispered something to her softly, run his hands through her green hair hesitating only for a moment, then turned away from her and didn't look back.

Shinji had yet to speak to Hiyori, he had been silent since the night before. Neither of them had slept, instead they had silently stared at each other, memorizing every detail of the other's face. She had run her fingers over his face committing every look, line, scar, freckle, and wrinkle to memory. He had traced her body with his lips, each time he touched her she felt his kiss burn into her skin. She had played with his hair her hands counting the strands of hair on his head. He had absorbed the few silent tears that had fallen from her eyes.

That morning he had sat next to her at breakfast and his fingers brushing against hers more often than usual. When they had all stood around the entrance to the warehouse delaying the inevitable his hand wouldn't leave the small of her back, and he was never then a few inches from her. But now he was standing far away from her, bidding Love a strong farewell, and he wouldn't look at her.

He turned away with Rose and Kensei and began the short walk towards Kisuke's Shop. They all watched them until they were out of sight, not one of them looked back.

Things were quiet during the first weeks they were gone, but soon Mashiro regained her vigor, though Hiyori noticed the green bombshell was slightly less perky than before. Lisa rediscovered her passion for dirty smut, but she didn't read them with the others around instead she hide away in her room. Love turned back into himself, however he often joked less. Hachi remained the stoic silent giant that he had always been, yet upon closer inspection Hiyori saw the small lines of sadness etched on his face.

As for her, Hiyori sought no one's comfort. She kept to herself and continued her training. She ate with the others, watched them joke as best as they could, she made sure to spend time with them, they all took to going to the public baths together in the early afternoons, and watching movies on Friday nights. But like everyone else she too had lost the playfulness that she had always had when Shinji was around.

One day while walking in downtown Karakura, she had spotted Ichigo Kurosaki. He was staring through a window at a display and didn't notice her, but from where she was standing she saw him. He was alone, no longer was the small black haired Death God trotting alongside him. He was by himself and his face was somber. It wasn't the usual scowl that she and the rest of the world knew, this one was sadder. A lonely face that spoke volumes about him and how he was dealing with the loss of the girl who had changed his world.

Finally after a while he stood up straight and pressed on leaving the display behind him. Hiyori watched him go then made her way over to the display case to see what he had been looking at. She gave a small laugh when she saw it was a large Chappy the Rabbit doll dressed in a magician's outfit, a large strawberry clutched in its left hand. Hiyori watched Ichigo's retreating back, his shoulders slumped, his hands in his pockets. It was the posture of defeat.

She looked back at the doll, she knew why he had stared at it for so long, it was obvious. It was the same reason why Hiyori had stolen one of Shinji's shirts before he had left. Why she hid it in the back of her drawer and would pull it out to inhale the scent of him. She understood Ichigo Kurosaki's feelings better than anyone else because like him she too felt as if she was only half of a whole. As if the entire left side of her was missing, and that there was no hope of ever getting it back.

It was Mashiro who came to her finally. She had been once again sitting on the roof of the warehouse staring out over Karakura, incidentally in the direction of the Kurosaki clinic. "Hiiiiiiiiiyoooooriiiii!"

The hyper and perky voice jolted Hiyori from her silent vigil. "Yes Mashiro?"

The green haired visord plopped down next to her, and crossed her legs. "Nothing, just wanted to sit with you."

There were several minutes of silence between them, in which Mashiro fidgeted endlessly. Finally Hiyori sighed, "Mashiro did you want something?"

"The sky doesn't seem so sad."

Hiyori glanced over at her, "What?"

"Don't you think so? I mean it's so big and vast and wide and stretches on forever and ever….it's like it's telling us that no matter where you go it will still be there," she said with a smile.

Hiyori raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about Mashiro?"

"Well if it never ends then maybe…..maybe it's also over Kensei and Rose and Shinji…..at least I'd like to think so. Which kind of makes me feel better knowing that no matter where we go we're all under the same sky, which is like we're all still together in a way."

"That's dumb Mashiro you know that the Soul Society and the Human world aren't in the same dimension."

"There are more things in heaven and earth that are dreamt of in your philosophy," Mashiro said.

Hiyori knew the passage, she had read it before, but to have Mashiro Kuna sitting next to her repeating it was like a brick to the stomach. "Where did you hear that?"

"I read it once…one of Kensei's books, he didn't know but I read what he read, made us closer," she rocked back and forth with a smile. "So think Hiyori we'll see them again, the Soul Society doesn't hate us anymore and we're all under the same sky, so for sure we'll see them again."

Hiyori looked up at the sky, the sun was setting and it was painting the atmosphere violet and pink, and a golden color that reminded her of his hair. "Yeah, that's a good way to think of it. We'll see them again, someday."