A/N: Wow guys...I'm sorry. It was a ridiculous break, which I shall hereby declare "The winter break where Molly's grandma's Alzheimer's got worse, Molly got strep, and had to plan an entire recital instead of a half one." I am so sorry it's taken me so long to get something up. I promise that I'll try to write more now! As always, your reviews mean a lot to me (sorry I haven't got to the ones for An Awkward Talk, life has been...hellish.), as do your favorites, so thank you all so much. If you all weren't so awesome, I wouldn't write. :) Also, if you want to translate things, go ahead! Just send me the link once you have so I can put it in my profile!
As always, tumblr is thataway: goodgollyimmolly(.)tumblr(.)com-I love when people ask questions, leave prompts, love, or anything else. Friendly prodding to write is also appreciated!
Also, this is reposted as it was lost in the void that is cyberspace earlier this morning! Sorry loves! Thank you for your kind reviews and favorites though, they made my day!
Cooper knew something was off when he came home and all the lights were off. He knew that his parents were gone for the weekend, but really, Blaine's been afraid of the dark since he was like seven and Cooper hid under his bed and grabbed Blaine's ankle when he got up to use the bathroom.
"Blaine," Cooper called into the seemingly deserted house. "Oh Blainers!"
Nobody answered, but as Cooper walked up the stairs, he began to hear grunting noises, and what sounded like skin slapping. Shit. He was going to walk in to Blaine masturbating, something that had never happened, and Cooper really didn't want to think about happening. Also, nothing against Blaine, but he hadn't seen any gay porn in his life, and really didn't want to start now. He knocked lightly on Blaine's door.
"Blaine," he said, then grinned mischievously. "Are you watching porn in there?"
Nothing.
"Oh Blainers! I'm gonna tell mom and dad you're watching dirty movies!"
Still nothing. Finally, Cooper started to inch the door open, and peeked in.
"Oh shit, you're not Blaine," he said, stopping dead in his tracks, eyeing the naked boy that was lying in Blaine's bed with Blaine writhing on top of him.
"Oh my god, no!" he shrieked, throwing Blaine off of him and grabbing the comforter lying on the floor to cover himself.
"Holy fucking Christ," Cooper said, laughing.
"Kurt, what's wron-Cooper! Get out! Have you heard of knocking," Blaine yelled as he got up off of the floor, reaching for the robe that was draped over the chair next to his bed. "What is wrong with you?"
"So this is Kurt?" Cooper asked, eyeing a bright red Kurt curiously.
"Yes, this is Kurt, now get out Coop!"
"Hey, I came down from Columbus to get some guy bonding time in with my little bro-I wasn't expecting him to be having some guy bonding time of his own," Cooper laughed. "I don't know if I can call you that anymore, you seem to be well on your way to becoming a-"
"Cooperpleaseshutup," Blaine said.
"Hey Kurt, I'm Cooper," Cooper said, sitting on the foot of the bed. Kurt gave a small squeak, and attempted to move even further up the bed.
"Cooper, GET OUT!" Blaine said, taking Cooper's hand and trying to pull him off the bed.
"Blaine, I'm just trying to introduce myself, I think-"
"COOPER! Get up," Blaine said, grunting as he attempted to pull him up. "I'm going to kill you if you're not out of here in two seconds."
"Oh Blainers," Cooper said as he finally let Blaine pull him up. "You're so cute when you're angry!"
"I am not," Blaine replied indignantly, trying to shove Cooper out of his bedroom door. "And don't call me Blainers!"
"Whatever you say, Blainers," Cooper said, turning around and ruffling Blaine's hair. "I'll be waiting downstairs, I'd love to meet your boyfriend, I'm assuming he talks more with his clothes on?"
"God, just go," Blaine said, rolling his eyes and slamming the door in Cooper's face.
Twenty minutes later, a clothed Blaine and Kurt entered the kitchen, where Cooper was busy making dinner.
"So baby brother, were we having a good time? Also, it took you two twenty minutes…did we continue our fun?"
"Shut up Cooper."
"Oh Blainey, you know that's not going to happen," Cooper teased, attempting to ruffle Blaine's hair. "Jeez Blaine, lay off the gel. You've got a helmet going on!"
"I keep telling him that he only needs the size of a dime," Kurt blurted out before slapping a hand over his mouth. He glanced at Blaine then mumbled, "Sorry."
"I like him," Cooper grinned, putting an arm around Kurt, who jolted, then gave a little smile. "So, have a seat, tell me about yourself Kurt! How do you put up with little Blainers here?"
"I told you not to call me that!"
"I know," Cooper replied, eyes twinkling, before he turned towards Kurt. "You allergic to anything? I'm making tacos."
"No, that's fine," Kurt said as he sat down at the kitchen island.
"What are you doing here Coop?" Blaine said, taking a seat next to Kurt.
"Honestly, you're not making me feel very welcome, Blaine, what with the 'GET OUT!' and 'Leave me alone, I'm trying to have sexytimes with my boyfriend!'"
"I did not say that!"
"I think that was implied, seeing as you were both naked."
"We were playing strip poker," Blaine said quickly.
"Bullshit," Cooper snorted. "You know, strip poker doesn't require you to jerk off your-"
"So Cooper," Kurt squeaked out, "what brings you back to Lima?"
"Well, mom and dad wanted me to check on Blaine and make sure he hadn't burned the house down, and that he wasn't having oodles of sex in every room of the house."
"They did not!"
"No, but they said to make sure your boyfriend wasn't over, since you'd agreed to that," Cooper smirked as he threw some tortillas in the microwave. "And to think, you're supposed to be the perfect prep school boy."
"Shut up," Blaine said, turning bright red.
"Again with the warm welcome," Cooper said, putting lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese into separate bowls. "I'm sorry, but I think I'm the one who should be scandalized. I never expected to see my baby brother fucking his boyfriend." Cooper pinched Blaine's cheek.
"I hate you, and we were not having sex!"
"You do not, and that was some type of sex."
"Hateyousomuch."
"Love you too," Cooper said, setting the food on the island and taking a seat next to Kurt.
"So, is he always this belligerent?" Cooper asked Kurt as they started to assemble their tacos.
"Maybe," Kurt laughed as Blaine glared at him. "But he always looks cute when he pouts," Kurt said, kissing Blaine's cheek.
"As if you have room to talk Mr. Bitchface."
"You love my bitch face and you know it," Kurt said, sticking out his tongue.
"I do," Blaine said, bridging the gap between them with a soft kiss.
"Oh my God, you guys are sickening," Cooper groaned as he bit into a taco.
Blaine pulled away from Kurt and stuck his tongue out at Cooper. "You're just jealous because I have an awesome personal life."
"Gap attack," Cooper coughed into his napkin, and Kurt dissolved into giggles.
"Hey, you're supposed to be on my side!" Blaine said indignantly, squeezing Kurt's shoulder.
"I am, it's just I can't believe you would give your brother that kind of ammo against you," Kurt laughed.
"I was upset and couldn't talk to you, obviously!"
"Shh, calm down, I still love you," Kurt said, grabbing Blaine's hand and squeezing it gently.
"Again, sickening," Cooper said.
Once they had finished dinner, Kurt and Blaine did the dishes while Cooper told them about working at the capitol, and what it was like being an assistant to the attorney general, which he summed up by saying, "It's like being tied down and whipped, but you ask for more because you know you'll eventually be the jackass with the whip."
They all eventually settled in the living room, and decided on watching Moulin Rouge, since it had scantily clad girls for Cooper, and Ewan McGregor for Kurt and Blaine. As they were watching, Cooper glanced over to the loveseat where Kurt and Blaine were curled up with Blaine between Kurt's legs, their joined hands rested over Blaine's heart, both fast asleep. "Sickening," he muttered to himself.
When Cooper got up to call his parents, they asked if Kurt was over, to which he replied,"Of course he wouldn't have his boyfriend over! That would be irresponsible. Nope, he and I are watching Transformers. Yep, a regular old guys' night," Cooper said, winking at Kurt when he realized he was up.
Cooper walked out of the room to keep talking. Kurt kissed the top of Blaine's head, rousing him slightly.
"Whussamatter?"
"Nothing," Kurt whispered. "You have the best brother ever."
"He's okay, I guess," Blaine muttered, burrowing into Kurt's chest.
A/N: Sorry for the sucky ending...but I hope you liked it!