The day Rachel left, Sebastian realized just how much he had fucked up. Her note on the kitchen counter, written in her girlish script, complete with a gold star regardless of how pissed and upset she was, nearly stabbed him in the gut. He knew Blaine would be pissed, would lash out, and while a part of Sebastian almost wanted him to react that way in his direction, Sebastian ultimately decided to flee for himself, taking residence in some girl whose name he'd never figure out completely because he just didn't care to.

It went like that for a few weeks, Blaine angrily slamming doors shut in a way far too reminiscent of the girl they'd lost, when he wasn't busy pouting and looking sorry for himself. Sebastian tried to take it in stride, tried to pretend that Rachel's sudden disappearance meant nothing to him, but the truth was it did. It hurt more than he could have ever admitted to himself, or to Blaine, or even to Rachel. He could see the looks Blaine shot him sometimes, the ones that were buried beneath layers of rage and aggression, where Sebastian worried he might actually give in to the desire that clearly tempted him, worried his fist would actually end up in Sebastian's face one day. And most of the time, Sebastian wanted him to do it too.

He didn't know how to tell Blaine that he missed Rachel too, that he missed Blaine, and he didn't even know how he had gotten to the point where he missed either of them. Somewhere along the lines, it had stopped being a game to even him, and he was reminded of why he kept emotions out of sex, because it never ended well for anyone involved.

Deep down, he knew that the way things had unraveled fell on his shoulders. Blaine and Rachel may have worked things out on their own, had he not interjected himself onto both of them. It was him that undid any real possibility for the two of them, and that realization was the worst. His own selfish desires had ruined all three of them, and none of them were whole enough to pick up the pieces.

Blaine didn't let him apologize when he tried, instead the two falling back into the same pattern they had before, and even if the sex wasn't the same-there was something missing, he knew, even as they went through the motions time and time again. He knew his feelings for Blaine were more than sexual, more than friendship, and he knew Blaine felt the same towards him. But without Rachel around, a part of their lives-it wasn't the same. It was like they both needed her there to be themselves, to feel the happiness they once had, to remind themselves of who they were.

The three of them, he realized, needed each other. And it was weird, and it was fucked up, but he couldn't have one and not the other anymore, and he suspected the same came true for them. There was only so much of the moody Blaine he could take before he broke himself, but it wasn't Blaine's place to find Rachel and fix things.

Sebastian knew that fell on his shoulders.

He didn't know where she was living, but he knew it was up to him to go find her. He tried the theater she worked at, only for them to turn him away. He tried waiting for her to appear outside it, cup of tea in hand as a way to get her to even acknowledge him, but after two hours he came to the conclusion that she knew he was there and was adamantly refusing to come out. That, or she'd left out a side door he didn't know about.

It took him nearly a week before he found her, and when he did, it was purely accidental. She was walking up the steps to a brownstone he vaguely remembered one of her co-stars lived in from a party a few months prior, and when he shouted her name, she nearly dropped everything in her hands.

"Go away," she stated, making sure her voice was clear as she glared at him. "I don't want you or Blaine anywhere near me ever again." Her words stung, deep and harsh just as her slap had done that first day. Still, he persevered, not one to give up after one jab.

"Rachel, hear me out, please," he tried again, handing her the notebook she had dropped at his appearance.

"I said, go away," she hissed, managing to open the door and attempting to slam it in his face, only for him to push through it regardless. She huffed, letting out a loud noise of disgust before storming away from him, Sebastian quick to follow.

"No, because you deserve an explanation, and unless you can tell me this past month has been fucking rainbows and sunshine, I'm going to demand five minutes of your time until you listen to me," Sebastian retorted, quickly finding his stride back in himself, the quick remarks and wit all falling back in place. He hadn't realized how out of sync he felt with himself until she was there, ignoring him and trying once more to slam another door in his face, his retort of "We really need to get all doors out of your path one day," falling easier than anything else had in months.

"Shut up about the fucking doors Sebastian!" she yelled, dumping her stuff into a room that was only half as large as the one she had waiting for her back at their apartment, the one that had been untouched since she left. She whirled around to face him, hands on her hips and fire in her eyes as she glared at him. "Fine, you have five minutes, talk, and then leave!"

Sebastian took a deep breath, moving closer to her only to have her move away, his eyes rolling as he brushed past her to sit on her bed regardless, making himself comfortable. "You might as well join me," he remarked, but her eyes stayed narrow in his direction, her entire body looking as if it was ready to flee at any point in time, and he finally gave in, bowing his head for a moment before he started. "You need to come back, Rachel, we've-well, we've barely been able to cope without you around. And before you start yelling again-I know what an ass I was, that it was my fault. I was jealous and petty that Blaine got you when I couldn't, that you got him when I couldn't, and so I made a bet with him."

"You could have-"

"I couldn't have done anything. Blaine might have fallen into my charms easily, but it took manipulating both of you against each other for you to give me a shot. And even then, I was still second best to Blaine for you." She bit her lip, looking guilty and he knew the words to be true, but what was more was that he didn't care about coming in second anymore, not if it meant at least having her back. "Blaine was confused, and he was hurt you only wanted him for sex, and I played into the part of him that wants both of us. I played into the part that wanted you, and only you, because it was winner takes all-with you as our prize."

"That's so wrong, Sebastian!" she cried, though some of the anger was fading from her eyes, and it brought a small smile back onto his face.

"You're right," he said, nodding in agreement, and that seemed to startle her more than anything. "And when you started feeling more for Blaine or me, instead of talking about it, what did you do?"

"That's not fair," she accused, and he could only shrug.

"It was where we all messed up, pretty girl," he said, hoping that the nickname would give him something from her, some small reaction, and sure enough a pink flush covered her cheeks momentarily before she seemed to fight it off. "Instead of talking, we kept fucking, and that's what I'm trying in vain to right."

"You hurt me," Rachel said, though her voice was calmer now and she seemed to take a step towards him. "You made me feel used and worthless." It pained him to hear that, and he pulled her down next to him, pleased when she did so willingly.

"And that was so fucking wrong of me, because you're not worthless. You're-fuck, Rachel, you're going to make me get sappy now aren't you?" he asked with a groan, though her smile in return seemed to press him forward. He knew in order to get her back, he'd have to break down some of the walls he kept so well built, that he'd have to show her just how important she was, and that meant being vulnerable, even if he didn't want to be. "I promise you, you're not worthless. I mean, fuck, I'm worthless without you around," he stuttered, wanting to kick himself internally for how stupid he sounded. "You're wonderful, Rachel, and I was an idiot to make you think otherwise."

She gnawed on her lip, her hand intertwined with his own as she looked into the distance. "But, what about Blaine?"

"Funny thing is, I'm pretty sure he wants you back just as much-if not more-than I do," Sebastian shrugged, his own grin returning easily at her flush. "Look, it'll be really weird, all three of us-but, bottom line, we all want each other, right?"

"How is that even going to work?" Rachel asked quietly, Sebastian silently congratulating himself for even getting her to come around, even if it was hesitantly.

"Fuck if I know," he replied honestly. "But, if you want to-"

"I do," she said, quickly, interrupting him, and he could only smile as she found his lips with her own, a strangled laugh coming out of him as she pulled him close. "We'll figure it out, all three of us, together," she said, her eyes shining bright as he pushed a stray hair out of her face.

"Anything for you, pretty girl," he promised, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "Now, let's go get a certain ex-Warbler out of his self-imposed funk."

He made Rachel wait in the hallway, already exhausted after having listened to an entire months' worth of news on the way over from where she had been staying, her mouth moving non-stop even as he zoned out slightly, his hand resting on her knee. He didn't think talking things out would work in his favor so quickly, and while he knew there was a lot the three of them would have to figure out, knowing she wasn't pissed beyond belief was enough for now.

"Blaine!" Sebastian called, finding the other laying on the couch with a book on his stomach, not even bothering to pretend reading it. "I have a surprise for you," Sebastian teased, Blaine rolling his eyes.

"I don't feel like fooling around right now," he replied in the dreaded voice Sebastian had learned to resent with every fiber of his being.

"While I'm usually sure I can turn that phrase around, not what I was talking about," he retorted, waving Rachel in from where she hovered at the door. Blaine was ready to snap something back at him when he sat up, his gaze moving from Sebastian to the brunette next to him, his eyes opening wide and the life looking like it had finally returned to him for the first time in weeks.

"Rachel?" he breathed, and she nodded, barely able to keep the smile off her face.

"Sebastian found me, and he explained everything and-I mean, I know why you did what you did, and I wasn't 100% innocent in how everything played out, and-" Sebastian watched as Blaine stood and moved towards them, wrapping Rachel up in his arms before she could even finish her statement, a small 'oh!' falling from her lips as she wrapped her own arms around Blaine.

"You're back for good?" Blaine asked, eager and desperate, and when Rachel nodded, he could only hold her even tighter, mouthing 'thank you' in Sebastian's direction as Rachel reached an arm out for him, pulling him into their embrace as well.

a/n: thank you all to the wonderful people reading (and reviewing omg i love all your reviews so much ty ty ty) this insanity of a crackship me and the wonderful kira (claddaugh ring-whose fics you DEFINITELY should be reading) made up. and an extra special huge wonderful thank you for the rest of time to kira for reading this all as i went and helping me when i got stuck and to everyone who asked for more.
this is the end of this particular fic, but i am sort of in love with the 'verse in general and have a few oneshots planned for it, which will go in a different fic but will be updated as they come. i hope everyone is happy i managed to make it a happy ending :)