Title: Secrets

Disclaimer: Still don't own Castle.

The air cracked and splint into two. It felt like an hour had passed when the shots only lasted less than a minute. It thundered louder than an air jet and shook the ground just as worse. The partners managed to jump over Carr's desk and hide behind it. The mahogany trapped most of the bullets with the exception of those that burst through the glass windows and ripped apart the curtains.

They pressed into the desk breathing heavily and thinking about their fallen friends. Ryan and Esposito gave their lives for this case and now they needed to repay those men. They were just two more souls collected because of this case. Beckett felt a knot gnarl in her stomach and push its way up her throat. She felt sick at the thought of losing the men, her friends and confidants. Before Castle came around she had them. Ryan and Esposito looked out for her and vice versa. She loved them like brothers and it hurt just as badly losing them as it did when her mother was killed. All of this was Carr's fault and now there were two more bodies added to the count.

The shots silenced and they heard footsteps disappear through the door. There were muttered words shared but not understandable. Castle pressed into the desk taking deep gulps of air. Adrenaline coursed through his veins and pulsed fully through his body. His heart bashed against his ribs trying to calm down after being shot at.

"Thank God for this desk," he muttered breathless and swallowed down more air.

His partner took a deep unsteady breath and rolled her eyes. "Seriously, we're getting shot at and you're making comments about the desk?"

He shrugged and lolled his head to the side to examine his partner. Her bangs swept over her left eye and her mouth was parted trying to get more air to fill her lungs. "This desk saved our lives. One thing I like about Carr is that he has good taste in furniture."

"I know you're trying to help, but shut up." Beckett said peering around the wooden corner. She didn't have a good angle on the men that stood farther back in the lobby. They were close to the door and both held semi-automatic rifles. She turned back and leaned against the wooden desk. "Okay, I don't know how many more rounds they have, but if we move they'll probably get us."

"Well we can't wait here until SWAT shows up." Castle remarked looking at his partner.

She chewed her bottom lip trying to think of a solution. "I know, just give me a second." She looked around the room for an escape. An easy way out like Carr had taken. The only exit was the door leading to God knows where that Carr barreled through. Other than that there were the windows.

"Practice your swan dive lately?" she asked trying to bring humor to the situation.

Castle peered through the window and gulped. "Uh, not lately. Besides, I don't think civilians want to see a human Jackson Pollock painting."

The detective nodded and flicked her tongue against the backs of her teeth. They were sitting ducks until SWAT showed. It was too risky to send a phone call out to dispatch so the detective had texted Gates with an SOS. It was the quickest text she could get off since her hands were shaking and her breathing was ragged. Getting shot was never fun and for a recovering PTSD patient it made the situation worse.

She took deep breaths trying to steady herself and to stop the incessant beating of her heart. Technically, this wasn't beating but more of pounding. Her heart wanted a way out of this trap but was forced to stay and fight.

"You know, this is kind of weird." Castle said turning to his partner.

Beckett scoffed and puffed out a breath. "We're always in trouble. This just seems normal to me now."

He shook his head, "No, Gates and I were talking about this earlier. She said that sometimes I deserve to have a gun but since I'm still technically a civilian," he mocked with air quotes "I can't have one."

The detective reached into her coat at the hip after Castle gave his miniature rant. She twisted around and finally unclipped the gun. The writer just stared at her as she dangled the gun in front of his eyes. It swung back and forth and he followed it.

"Take the gun, Castle."

He looked at her and back down to the gun. "Last time I checked you're the cop and you'll need this for when we find Carr."

She puffed out a breath and pursed her lips. "You really think I wouldn't come in here with a backup?" she questioned raising her right eyebrow.

The writer was a bit baffled and surprised at his partner's words. She always thought ahead but he wondered when she grabbed the spare and where her real gun was.

"Then where's your,"

Beckett pulled aside her coat showing off the shoulder holster and she grabbed the butt of the gun. Firmly grasping it in her right hand she gave Castle a look. He shouldn't have been surprised by now. They had been together for four years and the detective was usually two steps ahead of Castle. It was the same way for cases though he helped significantly with those. Without his stubbornness and eagerness to help, they wouldn't be sitting in Carr's office right now. Sure, they probably wouldn't have been shot at again, but that was just a minor setback that they honestly foresaw the second they stepped out of the car.

He took the gun from her, his fingers softly curling around her left hand. The warmth was gone when their hands broke apart. Beckett cupped her left palm around her right, which held onto her service piece.

"Do you think," he began but she silenced him instantly.

"Castle, I really can't think about them right now." Though she said the words she didn't mean it. Besides Carr escaping, Ryan and Esposito were also on their minds. Their fallen friends were high up on the priority list, but they would want Castle and Beckett to get Carr and avenge them. "If they're dead then they're dead. I'll handle that once we get Carr." Her words were venom and sharp as she spoke. They dripped from her tongue as it clicked against her teeth to create the syllables and she slightly winced at the thought of the two men sitting in the lobby dead or bleeding out.

She turned slightly against the desk and peered around the corner again. "Okay, you're my only backup." Beckett shifted into a crouch stance still ducking behind the desk.

Castle reached out to her shoulder. "What happened to waiting for SWAT?"

The detective shook her head, "They're not getting here for at least another twenty minutes or so. If Carr is stuck in the building then I need to get him." She peered of her shoulder past her chestnut hair. "I need to get him, Rick."

They shared a look of deep affection and understanding. This was her stance, facing off against the Dragon for the final time and taking him down. The writer saw past his partner and witnessed a spark of Montgomery present in her actions. He took his stance protecting her from Carr's terrible game and knew exactly what he was getting himself into. Castle saw her absolution and that she had made her choice. If she went down now, then it was worth it, and all her time spent, tears shed, and blood spilled to get that close to the man that ordered the hit on her mother and started this all was worth it. Though the writer had never met Johanna Beckett, he could somehow see the light of her shining through his partner. She fought for justice and what was right. Her daughter did the exact same thing and even took it to the next step.

The writer scooted closer to her on the carpet and wrapped his arms around her frame. Though she was crouched and it was an awkward position, he still felt her body relax into his. The warmth from his breath pirouetted against her skin and traveled through her blood. His nose moved across from her ear to her cheek until his lips found hers. It was a soft kiss, no passion or hunger to it. It was simply two lovers and partners sharing a moment with hopes that it wasn't the last goodbye. It was their unspoken way of saying 'I love you' without fooling with the words.

"Promise you won't get shot." He said against her lips.

She swallowed and breathed against his skin. Her left hand came up and cupped his cheek. "I'll try. Promise me that if you see anyone you don't know shoot them. If the two men try and shoot me, you shoot them. Do you understand me, Rick?"

Once again his first name was used to highlight the intensity of the moment. This might have been their last time seeing each other and he was her only backup.

He nodded and cleared his throat moving away from her. Beckett's beautiful hazel eyes were clouded with a combination of fear and perseverance. She wasn't going to let two goons take her down or stop her from taking down Carr. It was her destiny.

"I understand, now go."

Beckett licked her lips and turned ready to jump up and sprint for the door. "On three." She voiced ready to move. "One,"

The air felt thicker and his jaw was tight. "Two,"

Time slowed for a second and he saw each move she made. All her muscles working together as she jumped upwards ready for the door. Her eyes were dead-set on that doorway and whatever lay ahead of her. "Three!" she shouted already moving.

As the detective ran for the door, Castle's head came up behind the desk and he perched his hand on the desk. The two men at the door only saw Beckett as she ran and the hail of bullets descended upon the room again. They were only pointing at his partner as she dodged the bullets and went through the door. The writer managed to pop off two rounds, one of which hit one goon's shoulder and made him stop for a moment. Once his partner made it through the door, he went down into his hiding place again.

He curled against the desk in case more shots fired and they did. It was two shots in total and neither came into the room. His mind went spinning and hoped that it was SWAT that showed up. But there weren't heavy footsteps parading through the room and examining the area. He only heard one pair of footsteps that came closer to the desk. Castle was ready to jump and shoot whoever came near him. It was on Beckett's orders and he made a promise.

As the footsteps came closer the writer gripped the gun in his hand and kept his breathing leveled. Now was not the time to freak out or worry about who it was. If he didn't know them then he had to shoot, plain and simple. He counted off in his head and took a breath per second. He tried to space out the imaginary numbers until he reached three. On three, the writer stood ready to shoot at the intruder that stood in front of the desk. The only problem was that it wasn't an intruder at all but a friend.

"Knight?" he questioned breathlessly still holding up the gun. "What the hell are you doing here?"

The man pointed to the gun, "Better question, who trusted you with a gun?"

Castle looked down into his hands and back up. The barrel lowered after he knew who confronted him. "Kate had a spare, and you didn't answer my question."

Knight sighed, "You really thought I would leave you and the cops to take down Carr? This is my fight too, kiddo."

He felt like a child with that nickname though his mother called him that. It was probably since he held a gun and felt older holding it. Though he was well in his forties, the weight of the gun alone felt heavier than usual. Granted, he didn't typically hold a gun.

The man cocked his head to the side where the open door was. "Did Carr get away?"

Castle breathed and nodded, "Yeah, Kate went after him." He looked past Knight through the open double doors. He couldn't see Ryan or Esposito and needed to know. "Are—are Ryan and Esposito alive?"

Knight nodded sliding his arm against his side. "Yeah, Irish saw the goons first and tackled his partner. Esposito is out cold though from being tackled. Ryan is sitting with him in case more guys show up."

The writer gave a breath of relief. Thank God their friends were still alive, but that didn't answer why Knight was here. "How'd you get here?"

"I followed you guys and waited until I saw Carr's goons head up here. I saw the guns and was thankful I came prepared." He held up his pistol and grinned.

Castle's brow furrowed slightly. "Did you kill them?"

He nodded, "Yes, they were a little busy pointing their guns at me. I call it self defense and plus they shot at you first."

The writer nodded and swallowed past the lump in his throat. He looked through the open door in the wall again and looked back at Knight. They both were turned to the door.

"You ready to get your girlfriend?" Knight questioned extending his hand.

Castle stepped forward, "I prefer the term partner."

They walked together through the door that led to a long hallway. The writer looked at Knight and nudged him along. The men walked along the hallway in silence. Neither spoke, and the only sounds were their breathing. Castle was breathing heavier than the ex agent who had been properly trained for situations like this. Finally, the long hallway ended as they entered to a large room. They were still on the same floor of the building but unsure where. The room had floor to ceiling shelves that extended out in rows. The shelves were six feet wide, metallic, and with large brown boxes or crates stacked on them. The writer and Knight walked about slowly in case Carr was in the room.

"Do you think he got away?" Castle questioned in a whisper.

Knight shook his head with his gun ready. "Your girl would have come back for you." The man halted and grabbed the writer's shoulder to stop him.

Past the last shelves there was a small clearing where Beckett and Carr stood with their guns raised and pointed at one another. Castle felt his breath catch in his throat and he suppressed the urge to run toward his partner. She seemed so calm about the situation and unfazed as she held the gun at Carr's chest. This was much better than the last time she had a gun pointed at her, but the writer hoped that the bullets stowed away in Carr's gun would not pierce her skin and rip her life away from her body again.

Knight set up on the shelf where there was an opening. He pointed at Carr and took a steady breath. His finger rested on the trigger ready to fire.

"You're not going to kill him are you?" Castle pleaded with the man. He crouched slightly behind the shelf so he still had a good view of Beckett and the Dragon.

"He's got a gun pointed at your partner and I'm going to promise you that he's going to shoot her." Knight stated calmly. "It's either him or Beckett."

Castle took a deep breath and surveyed the situation. Both stood squarely and at least ten feet away from each other. Their lips were moving but their words fell on deaf ears.

"Just wait," Castle asked breathlessly. "They're talking."

"Rick," Knight sternly said.

"Just trust me." The writer threw back. "She needs to hear it from him rather than your cliff note version."

The man sighed but stayed at the ready to fire. The silence allowed their ears to hear the conversation occurring between Beckett and Carr, which was surprisingly calm.

"Why'd you do it Carr?" Beckett questioned stoically pointing at him. Her gun was level in her hands and looked weightless.

The governor smirked. "What does it matter? You probably already know."

The detective's nostrils flared and her arm rose slightly. "It's different. You're the man that ordered the hit and since Coonan refused to tell me it's your turn." She took an even breath and coolly exhaled. "Now tell me."

Carr's eyes sparkled with contempt for the detective as he held his pistol one-handed. That horrendous half smile cracked on his face splitting it in two. "Your mother thought that she was so good at her job. She loved hearing praise and being the envy of all her colleagues. Johanna always stuck her nose into other people's business. She didn't need to answer Pulgatti but felt it was necessary. I met her, twice actually. Both times she would not shut up about how people deserved justice and that's what mattered most." He scoffed. "Your mother thought she could change the world. When she proposed cleaning the streets I wasn't even worried about it until Simmons called me. I told him not to worry because she would be taken care of soon." Carr smiled again and stared down the detective. She was about to burst with anger but conducted herself well. "Pulgatti pointed her to Raglan, he then turned on Simmons, and Simmons planned on stabbing me in the back. I told him just wait, Johanna Beckett would be dead soon and then we could keep making money and circulating the drugs. That's when I hired Coonan to kill her and make it look like some hoodlums got her." He shrugged showing his teeth in a cocky manner. "There, that make you feel better?"

Beckett gritted her teeth and her nose crinkled. "You killed my mother because of your greed. You're the type of person she hated."

"Oh come on," he shouted taking a minute step forward. "You're exactly like her. This entire case never needed to be investigated but you just had to. You could have lived life without taking a bullet to the heart or lying beneath some dirty captain that lied to you since you came to the precinct."

She took a deep breath and released it. Her eyes were dead centered on his and held his unwavering stare. Those black pits were what she imagined as hell but never thought she would see it.

"No, because of my mother's death I was committed to finding you. You are not getting away from me this time." She said through her teeth.

Carr gave that sarcastic smile again but didn't show his teeth. They were hidden beneath his light pink lips that curved into a devious line. "Too bad I don't have a knife or else you could die the same way your mother did." He shrugged and held the gun up. "I suppose this'll do. So let's get this over with detective."

Beckett's gun stayed in the air through their entire talk and she stood unwavering. Her eyes narrowed dead center at his chest aiming at his heart; her finger rested on the trigger ready to squeeze it and release all its firepower. The shot rang out but no fire exploded in her hands. There was no sudden jerk from squeezing the trigger because she hadn't. For a brief second, the detective thought she had been hit and that Carr had the upper hand. Her breath caught in her throat, her heart skipped a beat until it kept going and rattled against her ribs. Carr went down clutching his upper thigh. The gun clattered to the floor a few feet away from him and she stood there stunned and questioning who shot him. Her eyes went from Carr, who was wailing in agony as he held his thigh, to the many shelves. She saw Castle standing in the middle of the aisle with Knight.

"You shot him?" Castle questioned looking at the man.

Knight shrugged, "You said not to kill him and I didn't."

The writer sighed shaking off the thought and went for his partner who was shell-shocked. She took a few ragged breaths in trying to steady herself and understand what just occurred.

"Where—when—why is he here?" she questioned as Castle wrapped his arms around her body. Her arms twined around his neck.

"He followed us here, and Ryan and Esposito are still alive." He said into Beckett's ear and released her.

Knight stood over the governor who wouldn't stop shouting out in pain. His hands were smeared a crimson red that pulsed through his fingers and stained the white pigment. It felt oddly comforting to see him in pain after all the agony he caused.

Beckett swallowed and walked away from her partner. She stood over Carr whose head jerked up her legs and saw into her eyes. Her teeth were still gritted as she stared down into his limitless eyes. "Governor Carr, you're under arrest."

(~)

The writer stood in the conference room sipping his beer. The paramedics showed up along with SWAT and fixed up Carr before being taken away. They checked out Esposito that had finally come to with a large bump on his head. He didn't have a concussion but would need to ice the large goose egg on the left side of his head. When the group got back to the twelfth they reconvened to the conference room for some relaxation after this case. It had been hell and certainly a whirlwind of a week.

Knight was busy giving his statement to Gates while Beckett spoke to the DA. They were going to try and charge Carr with all eight counts of murder since he sent out hits on all the people. It was terrible to think that one man was still behind this entire thing and was capable of such tyranny. He was also going to be charged with drug charges, and a form of blackmailing. Slowly all his friends were coming out from hiding after word broke that SWAT and police showed up at the governor's office in Albany. It was all over the news that played in the lounge.

As Castle sat contently waiting for his partner Knight knocked on the door with his index knuckle. The writer turned and stood as he approached. He knew where this was headed.

"You leaving?"

Knight nodded with a sigh. "Yeah, the agency called and said that I've been compromised. I'm getting a new identity and have been activated again." He smirked with a shrug; "I guess some spies are still too young for retirement."

Castle grinned and extended his hand to the man. "I hope to see you again. And, thank you for everything. Without you we would have never found Carr and Johanna's case would still be an unsolved."

Knight shrugged taking his son's hand. "Don't sweat it, Rick." He placed a small note in the writer's hand as they shook.

When they pulled away Castle examined the piece of paper. "What's this?"

The man waved it off, "Just a note. You don't need to read it right away." He looked away and back at his son. "I'm proud of the man you turned out to be." He didn't give the writer a second to respond before turning his body and leaving through the door.

Castle watched as the man retreated through the open door and trailed through the busy bullpen. He looked down at the note, which was smaller than a flashcard. It had many creases in it and looked worn. Beckett knocked on the door bringing him out of his daze.

"Hey," she said walking toward him. "Knight leave?"

He nodded, "Yeah, CIA called and said that he's been compromised."

She nodded, "And he gave you a present?"

Castle looked back to the note and shrugged, "Just a note."

"And you're not dying to read it?"

He smirked at her comment. His partner knew him entirely too well. "It's killing me a little bit."

"Uh huh, well have fun with your note. I have to go talk with Gates. Martha and Alexis will be here soon." She said going through the door.

He nodded and went back to the note in his hand. The paper was soft under the pads of his fingers and the ink scribbles were barely legible through the white paper. He unfolded the sheet, which had been creased at least twelve times over and over again. Castle was slightly surprised it didn't tear apart in his hands after opening it. His eyes scanned the page and he began reading:

Dear Rick,

I know that I've already given you an explanation, but I feel like it's a bullshit one. You were much more accepting than I would have ever thought after all these years. It was humbling to know that even though I wasn't involved in your life you could at least have the humanity and kindness to deal with your old man for a few days.

Nearly everything I told you was the truth, but there's been one thing eating away at me. Yes, Coonan did kill Johanna but he wasn't the first person they contacted. I was away in Russia on a mission gathering intelligence for the agency when men were sent to hire me for the hit. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the states at the time and Coonan was hired in my place. After getting to meet Beckett I'm thankful that I wasn't in the states and that I didn't kill her mother. She's a bright woman that never deserved to have her mother taken away from her. I guess that's something you two have in common, the loss of a parent. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, but there is a part of me eternally grateful for not killing Johanna. I know, and you know, that if I had been the one to plunge that knife into her and take her life away from her body and from her family, you would have never forgiven yourself.

Don't worry about the what ifs, Richard. I can't apologize for all my mistakes and actions. I've lived most of my life without regret or even seconding guessing what I did. Now that I have to leave, and after meeting you, I feel different. I hope to come back someday and actually meet my granddaughter. I'm sure she's fantastic since you raised her. Honestly, I'm glad you didn't turn out like me. My father wasn't in the picture when I was younger and I always promised never to turn out like him only to be disappointed when I ran from my family. That action is the only one I regret. Give your mother my love and tell her next time I'm in town I'll treat her to dinner. Tell her it'll be a night between past lovers and old friends who died a long time ago.

Until the next time,

Owen Knight

Castle stood breathless with the sheet of paper in his large hands. He couldn't believe it and couldn't resist being angry with his father. The man, after all he had done for them, still kept a secret. But the writer didn't have long to dwell on the thought as his partner came through the door wearing a smile. He plastered a fake on his face and smiled into the kiss she laid on his lips.

"Thank you," she whispered against his skin.

He nodded giving her another one. "That's what partners are for."

The detective grinned, as they broke apart. "Alexis and Martha are here. I figured we should all go out somewhere. Ryan called Jenny, I called Lanie, and we're waiting for your take on the subject."

Castle's head inclined at the thought trying to push everything else aside. "Yeah of course. I'm starving."

Beckett rolled her eyes and took his hand. "By the way," she said over her shoulder. "What did the note from Knight say?"

He couldn't tell her though they had a pack about no secrets. This one time he needed to. This was the last one he would keep.

"Just an apology for not being present when I was growing up." He said placidly though his stomach contorted and pleaded with him to tell the truth.

"I think he's really changed." She responded grabbing her coat and tossing Castle his.

He nodded sticking one arm through the jacket. "Yeah, I think he has."

This was the last secret he would keep from his partner. If she ever found out, the next time she saw Knight all hell would break lose though he wasn't the one that drove the knife into her mother's body. Castle counted his father as lucky for not being in the states at the time. He wouldn't have to hate the man for the rest of his life and could be thankful for all the things he had done. With this one secret still hidden and weighing on the writer's shoulders, the partners could finally start their lives together.

Author's Notes: Thus concludes Secrets. That's all 140 pages of it. I honestly had a blast writing this story and am very pleased with how it turned out. I'm glad that I could have given you this story.

I'll probably be taking a brief break from writing another story since I have school and everything. Don't worry, I'm sure inspiration will show again soon. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I'm incredibly thankful for those that have been reading along and that have reviewed this for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

KP, aka Ashley