A/N: For the purposes of storytelling, this story presumes that neither 'iParty With VicTorious' or any iCarly episodes from 'iOMG' and beyond exist. It's not that I don't like them or anything, it's just that this story shows an alternative view. I hope you like it! It is my goal to update at least once a week.
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. i don't own Victorious. I cry myself to sleep at night...but then I eat waffles and everything's OK again.
"The foreign exchange program for this year is hereby cancelled!" announced Sikowitz. "Something about a risk of contracting monkey psychosis. I...didn't really want to know."
"Why not?" asked Jade, whose eyes positively lit up. "It sounds fantastic."
"Also their country is now at war. With Yerba," Sikowitz added.
"Go country-that-isn't-Yerba", muttered Andre, rubbing his neck as he remembered their fateful stay in war zone.
"So...does that mean we're not inviting strangers to live with us now?" Cat asked, visibly disappointed.
"Of course not!" Sikowitz yelled enthusiastically. "The program has been altered, and will now go ahead as a partnership with Ridgeway High in Seattle!" he grinned.
The teens looked at him, bored and unimpressed. Well, all except Cat. They'd signed up for the program months ago, and had pretty much forgotten about it, due to the pressure of various assignments and performances.
"Yay! Seattle!" Cat squealed and clapped, before looking quizzical and asking Robbie, "That's in France, right?"
"That's right," Rex replied for his guardian, "and New York is in Austrailia."
"It is? Wow. The things you learn in school."
"Robbie," Sikowitz warned, "control your plastic pal, please. And everyone, collect your fact sheets about the exchange and get excited!"
Again they stared.
"MORE excited!" Sikowitz waved his arms.
They managed a collective "Woo", grabbed their fact sheets, and made their way out.
/
"But I don't want to stay at somebody else's place!" Sam whined, punching her locker, and then instantly wishing she's punched Freddie's instead.
Carly raised an eyebrow. "You're at my place all the time."
"Mine too," Freddie added. "Well, until my mom banned you after the frosting incident..."
"If she didn't want her pillows covered in frosting, she should have said something."
"Words cannot describe how much I hope that's not a euphemism," Carly shuddered.
Sam produced a can of frosting from her locker. "You want?"
"I'm good."
"Well I'm looking forward to the exchange trip," Freddie smiled. "I heard the school we're going to is like an arts school, and we get to take classes in acting and music and stuff. I think it will even help us improve iCarly."
Carly nodded in agreement. "It does sound fun. Plus it's in Hollywood, which is cool. We can go to the beach and hang out with celebrities and shop and drive open-top pink convertibles!"
"It's Hollywood, Carls. Not Barbie's Dream World," said Sam through a mouthful of frosting.
"Still, the acting classes sound fun. We never get to do fun stuff like that here at Ridgeway. It's all about boring math and science and home-economics. I don't want economics in my home!"
"It will be nice to get a break from our maniac teachers," Sam relented.
Freddie snorted. "I think they'll be glad to get a break from you.
Sam glared at him, then smiled devilishly and sprayed frosting over his head. "Much better. Except now you need a cherry for the top."
Carly sighed at Freddie. "You knew she had the can."
"I know."
"Was it worth it?"
"...There's frosting in my ear canal."
"Ew."
/
"I think it'll be kind of cool getting to meet some new people," Andre said as he put his books in his locker.
"I think we've met enough new people," Jade sighed, casting an evil glance at Tori.
Tori ignored her. "It'll be nice to get some new acting partners for a while. Plus we might even make some great friends."
"Trust you to see the good in everything, Vega."
"I like having friends!" Cat chirruped. "One time I had this friend who used to do duck impressions."
Andre looked at her. "Are you sure your friend wasn't actually a duck?"
"Well...she liked swimming, and bread...maybe she was a duck!"
"What happened to her?" Beck asked as he leaned on the stair railing, an arm around Jade's waist.
"I dunno," Cat looked forlorn. "One day I went to the pond and she wasn't there anymore."
A smirk formed on Jade's face. "Maybe some coyotes came in the dead of night and-" Beck elbowed her, "-took her to a great coyote fairground where they ate candy and lived happily ever after."
"Ooh, I hope so!" Cat clapped.
Beck looked at Jade and smiled in approval. Jade managed to smile back. She had been making a conscious effort lately to be more agreeable with him because for some reason she felt their relationship had begun to fray around the edges. At first she had been eager to blame this on Tori's arrival but now...now she blamed herself. And she hated blaming herself, but she had to let that anger bubble just below the surface. Any displays of her rage were accomplished out of Beck's sight...for the most part.
"Aw man!" Robbie exclaimed, reading his fact sheet. "Some kid called 'Fredward Benson' is staying with me. I wanted a girl!"
"But the girls don't want you," Rex chuckled.
Tori read hers. "I got Carly Shay. Hmm, I think we must have been matched according to our likes. It says here, she likes 'the Internet, her phone, parties and shopping'. I like those things!"
"This Fredward Benson must like being a sissy boy, huh Robbie?" Rex joked.
"That, or he has a thing for wise-ass puppets," Andre suggested.
"Actually his interests are 'the Internet, model trains, tech work and Galaxy Wars," Robbie said, trying to sound defensive.
Rex laughed. "You're not really selling it."
"Who'd you guys get?" Tori asked.
"I couldn't sign up," Andre sighed. "I mean, I wanted to, but I'm staying with my grandma right now, and you know how she gets around people she doesn't know."
"Totally neurotic and crazy?"
"You got it."
"I didn't sign up either," said Jade. "There's already too many people in my house I don't like. Why risk adding another?"
"It's only for a month, Jade. You didn't
think it might be fun?"
"It would be fun to mentally torture someone new, I guess...depends on the person."
Tori stared at her for a moment. "Moving on..."
Cat looked deflated as she read her fact sheet. "Aw, fudge puppies!" she cussed as best she could. "I only get to be a reserve. I only get a new friend if they suddenly can't stay with someone else! No fair!"
"It's OK, Cat. You'll still get to meet the exchange peeps at school and everything," Andre reassured her. "You get to meet new people and not have to put up with all their annoying habits at home!"
"Thanks!" said Tori and Robbie in unison. Andre just shrugged at them as Cat looked decidedly happier.
"Well I guess nobody's staying with you either then, huh Beck?" Tori said.
"Actually, they are."
Everyone stared at him, but none with as much intensity as both Jade and Tori.
"You signed up and didn't tell me?" Jade asked in shock.
"Well, yeah. I didn't know it was going to be such a big deal."
"It isn't, but I'd have thought you'd have told ME!" she frowned, pulling away from him.
"You're making it a big deal."
"IT ISN'T A BIG DEAL!" she shrieked.
"Er, are you letting your guy stay in your R.V.?" Tori interjected, trying to extinguish some of the building tension.
"Sure, why not? What's wrong with it?"
"Yeah," Jade glared. "What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing! I just-"
"So what's this guy like?" Jade interrupted. "What did you have in common? I might be able to tolerate him."
"He says the same as me, really. 'Hanging with my friends and eating stuff'."
"That's all it says?" Jade asked. "And also...that's all you put under likes? Where am I?"
Tori gave a small laugh. "Like he's going to be able to find another human being who likes Jade West." She looked at Andre and Robbie for approval at her joke. They looked at their shoes.
Jade's dark eyes narrowed at her.
Tori gulped, immediately realising her mistake. "You're going to hurt me, aren't you?"
"We'll see," she smiled unnervingly, before peeking at the fact sheet Beck was holding. "So? What's this dude's name?"
Beck pointed. "Sam Puckett."
/
"I wish I was going on this exchange thing. It's not fair!"
"Nobody wants a Gibby to come stay with them," Sam yawned as she lay upside down on the Shay's sofa.
"Wait, why aren't they letting you go?" asked Spencer, removing his safety goggles.
"Because I failed one of my classes," Gibby grumbled.
"Which class?"
"Social studies."
"...People fail social studies?"
"Gibbys do," Sam explained.
"Aw, it's OK, Gibby! You can have an exchange trip here!" Spencer proclaimed. "You can help me build this giant mechanical mongoose!"
"Don't pity me," Gibby said flatly.
The elevator pinged and out stepped Carly, grin on her face, and luggage in hand. "I am officially ready for Hollywood!"
"Alrighty," Sam rolled off the couch and jumped up, "let's get this chizz rolling."
"Are you packed?" Carly asked.
Sam grabbed her trademark checkered bagpack. "Yup!"
"Sam...we're going for a month!"
"Right..." Sam sauntered over to the Shay's fridge and pulled out a large ham. "Ready! Let's get the nub and run."
Spencer helped Carly with her bags as Sam marched off to retrieve Freddie.
Freddie was already in the hallway along with three huge suitcases and his mother. "...Mom! I'm going to be fine, honest!"
"But are you sure? What if your rash flares up? Did we pack enough ointment?"
"I think a vat is enough, mom!"
"What if you get cold? I'll get your fleecy footy jammies..."
"I'm going to California!"
"You need more sun lotion!"
"Mom!"
"You'll crisp up like a marshmallow!"
Sam watched the scene with a smirk, greatly amused. Freddie glared at her as his mother plonked a floppy yellow sun hat on his head.
"Fetching," she commented.
"Shut up," he growled.
"I'm gonna miss you guys," Spencer said sadly as he hugged his little sister. "A month is a long time in Spencer years."
"We're gonna webchat every day!" Carly giggled. "It'll be like we were never gone. Plus you have Gibby to keep you company."
Spencer looked back into the apartment. Gibby licked the mechanical mongoose. Spencer looked at Carly. "Hurry back."
Freddie's phone chimed. "That's our ride. Well, I guess this is - eurgh!"
Mrs. Benson clamped him in a suffocating hug. "Be careful, my sweet Freddie. Remember to text me every hour!"
"I will, mom," Freddie scrambled out of the grip and headed down the hallway with the others.
"I LOVE YOU!"
"Me too, mom."
With that, the team headed off to Hollywood.
A/NII: I know this was very dialogue-heavy, but I just kind of wanted to get the whole scenario set up. They'll be more description in the next chapter as the gangs get to meet each other, so be sure to check it out! Right, I'm off to get some snackage...