A/N: Well, I haven't abandoned my other books, but me and my friend, rkolover, got together and decided to write this. Please enjoy, and review!
Summary: Takes over at the end of Season 4, when Sookie and Eric have the conversation when he gains his memory back. After everything that they have been through, can they gain it back? And if so, is it worth it?
Rated: M, just in case.
SPOV= Sookie's Point of View
EPOV= Eric's Point of View
SPOV
I would never get over how much this house had changed. The suede couch that Eric and I were sitting on was the dark color of chocolate. In the hallway there was a white tiger-skin rug, all of the new decorations reflecting Bill's station as the king of Louisiana. I couldn't help but think longingly about how this house had been before. True it had been unkempt, and dusty, but it had felt like a home. Now it felt fake, sterile. That seemed so long ago, so much had changed. I suppose my changed feelings for the inhabitant of this house might cloud my perception of it now. Eric sat next to me, his elbows on his knees, staring into space. No doubt he was listening to the conversation going on between Bill and Nan in the next room. Suddenly he spoke. "I remember everything… Us…nothing's changed."
I played with the cuff of my fuzzy heart sweater, which now seemed incredibly juvenile and I resolved to throw it into some dark corner of my closet when I got home. I wanted to believe him; I wanted to believe that the Eric I had known, that I had loved, was still in there. He looked at me, expecting me to speak, "except you."
"I haven't changed, I'm just…more." I could feel him trying to catch my eyes, the blue orbs trying to burrow into my soul like that had so many times before. After long seconds of silence, he continued. "The other Eric is still here."
"Uh-huh," I muttered half-heartedly, fearing he was just trying to please me.
"Sookie…" I looked anywhere but at him, knowing that the second I saw those eyes I would crumble. I felt him scoot closer to me, and I could smell him. He smelled of the ocean in winter. I tried to hold back tears that threatened to overcome me and drew my arms in close, not wanting to touch him. If I touched him, it would being back so many memories, memories I couldn't deal with right now. "Look at me." I gave a small shake of my head, my resolve waning. Gently he reached up his hand to touch it to my chin, turning me to face him. "Can't you see him in my eyes?"
I searched. I looked into his eyes and looked for that Eric, for my Eric. He was smaller, fainter, but I could see him, see his love. I smiled a little, despite myself, and I felt minutely relieved. "Yes."
With one finger he stroked a small line form my cheek to my chin, his eyes never leaving mine. "So what's the problem?"
The tears I had been fighting welled greater and I removed my eyes from his. "I'm afraid."
"Of what?" He mumbled lightly at me, as if he spoke any louder, it would break me, break this thin moment of time where he just might have me.
"I'm afraid that you will keep him hidden. Eric, you have to understand. For those few wonderful days I was yours, but more importantly, you were mine too. If I were ever to love you, all of you, I would have to know that I wasn't just some possession. You would have to love me too. I don't know if you can do that anymore."
EPOV
I stared at her, guilt,and nervous edge that I hadn't felt in a long time attempting to take over. Who knew this little human girl that I stared at would pull out these simple emotions that I hadn't felt in centuries, much less in the last decade. Her hazel eyes echoed the fear, the hesitancy that came with a person like me. Someone who has let the years age them not physically, but mentally, and that allowed the ice brick of a heart of mine to harden. All it took to break it was a blond haired human with a habit of getting in to bad situations.
"What can I do Sookie? You haven't given me the chance to prove anything to you, much less that I'm even capable of such a menial emotion as love!" Harsh, I know, but the knowledge that she was once again walking away from me, without the knowledge of if she was going back to Bill was heartbreaking.
SPOV
I recoiled as if slapped. My chin trembled, but I refused to cry, especially in front of him. I scooted back from him, all the way against the arm rest, and despite myself angry tears streamed down my face. A list of things I wanted to scream at him ran through my mind. "You...you...asshole! You just proved my damn point! I can't believe I loved you, God I was so stupid. You're no better than Bill!" I stood and ran. How dare he scold me like some child! As I slammed Bill's door behind me all I could fear was anger. I stormed indignantly across the lawn, not caring that only Bill's guards could see me. My legs moving almost of their own volition, I arrived at Gran's grave within seconds. I fell to my knees in the grass, tears dripping from my face as I traced the letters of her name with my fingers. "Gran...Oh Gran I'm sorry. I tried to follow my heart, I did. I thought it wanted Bill, maybe it did I don't know. But then he betrayed me. He hurt me so bad Gran... When I found Eric on that road...I felt..." I stared down at the grass underneath me. "I miss you...I wish you were here. I love him...God help me I love him. But I'm so scared."
EPOV
I watched as she stomped off in a storm of fury, leaving me in the wake of what had been pleading. She was never going to change, and why I thought I had a chance with her, I'll never know. I sighed, running my hand through my blond locks, attempting to get control over the many emotions that flowed freely through my body, along with the knowledge that she was out there hurting.
"Where is she, Eric?" I turned to face Bill, someone I had come to view as a nemesis in my attempts to gain the trust and love of Sookie. I let the smirk rest on my face, the one that seemed to unnerve him, leave him upset with me.
"She ran out of here. Said something about me being no better than you. Sinking to new levels, lately, Bill?" I sneered, not allowing the glare to affect me.
"God, damn it, Eric, can't you get over yourself for once in your life? Sookie just ran out without protection!" I glared openly at him, taking in the fact that she had calmed down from hurting to anger in her moments of running.
"She seems to be handling her own pretty good to me, Bill," I looked out the window, taking in how close it was getting to morning. Bills eyes stayed on me, burned in to my back as if that would change the course of actions in the past half an hour.
" You're staying here until I say otherwise," I glanced back at the man, rolling my eyes.
"Are we going to make love under the darkness of day, Bill? Miss me?" I turned and faced him, smirk settled, arms spread out.
"You sick pathetic -"
"Why thank you," I stated, showing him my most charming smile.
"You are staying here. I order you to." Bill snapped, leaving me beyond frustrated, and so tired of this bull shit.
"Yes, my king," I stated with the most sarcastic dry response I could come up with.
"Good." Bill stomped out in a similar fashion to Sookie. That man was more woman than man at times. I stared out the window, counting down the hours to dawn. My, it was going to be a long day. Too long to say goodbye.
SPOV
After a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself and lying in the grass I pulled myself to my feet. My sweater and jeans were filthy, and it would probably take a few washes to get the grass stains out. Wrapping my arms around myself I walked among the headstones, my feet moving on autopilot. When I reached my porch I moved up the steps, not seeing anything around me. I pulled my keys from my pocket, unlocking the wooden door and closing it behind me. I walked through the living room directly to the stairs. As I walked I kicked off my shoes and threw off the sweater, feeling better as the cool air hit my skin. I walked to my bathroom, deciding that a hot shower would be good. I started the water so it would warm up, and walked to my bedroom to strip and grab my robe. The door to my room was closed, which should have been a sign to me that something was wrong. When I opened my door I froze, seeing that I wasn't alone. Sitting on my bed, with her long-haired lackey beside her, sat Marnie. "What are you?" She had to have seen me break her spell, she knew I wasn't human. I turned and ran, but I did not get to the end of the hall before something hit me in the back and everything went dark.