This story was the result of long conversations about the efficiency of swords against zombies. I hope that you enjoy it. :)

Please review with any ideas you may have! First chapters are always rough, but I've got lots of ideas for this here story.

One of my characters might come out as a boy-crazed woman who's going to become the typical fanfic character who'll automatically fall in love with a man and live happily ever after. Well, that's not the case. All of my characters should turn out to be quite complex.

Anyways, this, being a first chapter, is mostly just setting things up. Introducing characters, explaining the situation, yadda yadda. So, don't expect fireworks! XD

I don't own Lord of the Rings.

"Run, run!"

Ten very hungry, very angry zombies hobbled after my two friends, mouths hanging open in undead groans.

Kat and Lee raced to our old, beat-down car, hauling heavy bags of food along with them. Meanwhile, I was standing through our sunroof, shooting at the zombies as best as I could without shooting my friends.

They have food. Food is kind of important, you know. At least, that's what I've heard. I've never actually tried to live without it. It's far too enjoyable.

Lee dived into the drivers seat while Kat slid into the back seat, earning a sharp yelp from my little sister, Lily.

"You sat on my hand!" She cried out, rubbing her injured limb.

Kat rolled her eyes and slammed the door shut. "Sorry, Lils, but we've got bigger problems right now."

"Step on it!" I kicked Lee in the shoulder, and he slammed on the gas.

Of course, he drove us right into a trash can.

Kat flew into the chair in front of her, a not so friendly reminder to wear a seatbelt. "Damn it, Lee!"

"Hey! Watch the language!" If I wasn't so busy killing zombies, I'd glare at that daft woman. We've got little ears on board!

"Sorry, June!" Kat pulled out her pistol and prepared to fight for her life. "Get this car on the road!"

Lee backed out of the rubbish, nailing a zombie in the gut, in the meantime. He floored our car over the curb and onto the dirty street, leaving the undead behind.

"Yes!" Kat cheered, fist-pumping the ceiling. "We made it!"

Yeah, barely. "Good job, guys!" I let out a sigh of relief while sliding down into the passenger seat. "What'd ya manage to get?" Anything but Ramen, please. I had enough of that in college.

Lee ruffled through his bag carelessly, more focused on the road ahead. "I got some protein bars, a couple of bottles of water, those little cereal boxes... Enough to hold us for another three weeks, at least. What'd you get, Kat?"

"Hmm... Well, I got some shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, gum, cookies... A couple of beers."

Lee rolled his eyes and slapped the steering wheel. "Seriously, Kat?"

Kat held up her hands in defense. "Hey, do you want to have smelly pits and bad breath? Be my guest! As for me, I'm gonna be smelling nice for any sexy survivors we may come across..." She did that little growl of hers and winked at Lily.

I shouldn't have expected anything more from our Kat. Woman's got a great shot, but the poor dear's just a bit too materialistic to survive on her own. Honestly, I'm just a bit worried about the effect she might have on my sister.

"You'd better hope that you got some good toothpaste to cover up that beer breath." I laughed, knowing all too well of her fondness for alcohol.

Completely missing the insult in that, she just smiled as she examined the toothpaste box. "Oh, yeah! This stuff is great. It's that stuff they were advertising back before the zomb- wait a minute... That hurt, June!"

"You're a terrible drunk, Kitty." Lily giggled, pulling out her pet name for Kat.

Kat raised her eyebrow at the eleven year old, a mischevous grin on her lips. "Oh, really? Well, I suppose that a drunk wouldn't share her skittles, now would she?" She pulled out a giant bag of the colorful candy and held it up for the little girl.

Lily all but tackled the bag, her eyes wide with excitement. "I haven't had these in ages! Thanks, Kitty!"

Kat waved it off as nothing, but she and I both know that she's got a soft spot for that little girl. Even the wildest of beasts have their weaknesses, hers just happens to be kids.

So, this is our merry band of misfits. There's me, June Rivers, and my little sister, Lily. Then we've got Leon 'Lee' Rodgers, and the infamous Katherine Bay. If you call her Katherine, though, she'll rant about her 'bloody, old-fashioned' parents. We try to keep the use of 'Katherine' to a minimum.

You've probably already noticed this, but we've got a rather nasty situation on our hands. When I say nasty, I mean nasty. Blood dripping out of the mouth, guts hanging out nasty.

Zombies.

Video game nerds and teenage boys alike have dreamed of this apocalypse since the dawn of the twenty-first century. Everyone has always wondered, 'what would a zombie really be like?'

Well, my friend, they're not as exciting as you'd expect. They mostly waddle around, moaning and groaning. The longer they've been zombified, the more disgusting they are, since their bodies decompose like any other dead thing. They're slow, for the most part, but there are those zombies that can do this odd hobble-run, and it's like they never get tired! That's how they get you; they can run on forever, but you can't.

Of course, a zombie apocalypse would have been no problem, had people been prepared. You'd be surprised how many people didn't have guns! It's a mixture of no self-defense, and the heartbreaking thought of killing a human being. When you watch those zombie movies, you don't realize how hard it really is to shoot the zombified versions of your neighbors, or worse; your family.

Lily and I were lucky. She was visiting me on the east coast when it all went down. Kat was the funny friend who lived across the hall in my apartment building. She was always bringing over booze and throwing football parties in her room. Lee, on the other hand, worked at the bar down the street. Oh, I can't tell you how often Kat would come home, muttering about the 'prick' who wouldn't sell her any more beer. He and I got along just fine, though.

All in all, I'd known those two for about... Well... Five years, I guess! Since I'd started university.

Now, we were on the road! Driving around in Lee's beat-down 90's car, doing our best to avoid dying.

Yepp. Living the life.

"So, where are we headed, today?" Kat yawned from the back, stretching her legs out as much as the car would allow.

Lee shrugged, his eyes fixed on the road. "I've got to get some gas, soon. There's a small town about twenty miles north. I was thinking we could stop there, for a bit. Fill up the tank, drive through the night."

Ohh... Not so fond of that idea. "We're headed west, Lee. Can't we just stop somewhere along the way?" I asked, but he shook his head.

"I know these parts. My parents and I used to travel this way to go visit my grandparents. This town was practically abandoned before the zombies. It's more like a truck stop than an actually living area."

"Mmm... Not to sure I like the idea of zombie truck drivers coming after me..." Kat rested her head on the shoulder of Lee's chair.

"I'm not to fond of any zombies coming after me..." Lily shuddered from the back seat, her eyes examining the abandoned cars on the highway.

Agreed, sister.

Unfortunately, Leelee didn't agree. "Come on, guys! Just trust me on this!"

I sighed and looked back to Kat for input.

She shrugged. "Zombies or no zombies. Either way it's a sad experience. I'm up for whatever."

Great... It's up to me, now. Stupid gas guzzling car...

It's never an easy decision, deciding where and when to stop. There's always the chance that a zombie could be out there, just waiting to eat you alive. I've got the welfare of my sister to think of, too...

Still, a car needs gas, and it'd be best if we didn't run out while running from zombies.

"If you say it's safe, then we'll go." I sighed, finally giving in.

Lee laughed, switching lanes to avoid a stray zombie. "It's an apocalypse, Junie. No place is safe."

About twenty minutes later, we pulled off of the highway.

Lee was right. This place was small and isolated. There was a motel, a distant diner, a small grocery store, and the beloved gas station. Lee slowed us down to avoid alerting any nearby zombies, and carefully pulled us into the station.

"Usual drill?" Kat asked, as though we were simply walking through the mall.

"Usual drill." Lee answered, equally as casual.

The two hopped out of the car, guns at the ready. Lee approached the gas station door and peeked inside. He and Kat made their way in, and I could see them making their rounds through the window. Check the aisles, clear the bathrooms, check out the supply rooms... Everything is checked.

Then, we get the thumbs up.

"Alright, Lily. Bathroom break?"

The young girl shook her head rapidly, looking wide-eyed at her surroundings. "Nope. I'm good."

Sigh... "Come on, Lils. I know you have to go. Go and enjoy the luxury of a toilet for once." It sure as heck beats the side of the road while your friends shoot at zombies.

Even though that makes for a good story.

Unfortunately, there's no one to hear it...

Lily let out a sigh and unbuckled her seatbelt. "What if a zombie attacks?"

"Kat will protect you. Go on, sweetie. Grab some candy, while you're at it."

At that offer, Lily practically sprinted for the bathroom. Silly girl... Not even a zombie apocalypse can erase a child's love for sweets.

Well, I'd best get to work.

I climbed up onto the roof of our car and scanned the surroundings. The grocery store sat right across the street from us, its empty parking lot setting me at ease.

At least it didn't look like there were any zombies around. No cars, no houses... Decent. Nice work, Lee.

Soon enough, my friends were back in the car (Lily with bags full of goodies, and Kat with another case of beer), and we were pulling out. A successful day! We got a full tank of gas, lots of food and sweets, and a ton of booze - unnecessary booze, but hey! It's something.

"Wait!" Kat screamed. "Stop the car!"

Lee slammed on the breaks and pulled out his pistol. "What is it?"

Kat pointed straight ahead, right to the grocery store. "Someone's in there!"

Oh, goodness. "Kat, we're not stopping for zombies!" We're trying to avoid them, actually.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "No, no! They're people! I see them! They've got kids with them!"

A little peeved, I scanned the windows of the store , and, wouldn't you know, there was movement. Whether or not that movement consisted of zombies was still questionable, though."

"Just forget about it, Kat." Lee stepped on the gas once more, putting his gun away.

Unfortunately, Kat can't simply forget things once they've caught her attention. That foolish woman jumped out of the car and bolted for the grocery store.

Crap.

"Kat, get back here!" I grabbed my gun and went after her, silently cursing myself for not just letting her go.

Like I said before, she's got a good shot.

We reached the doors just as I was catching up to her, and she stopped.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I whisper-yelled, grabbing her arm to drag her back to the car.

She shushed me, her ear focused on the half-open doors. I could hear just the slightest sound at first, but soon enough I could catch an entire conversation.

"What do you think this is, Merry?" A cheerful little voice rang out in an odd, thick accent.

"I don't know, Pip!" Another voice replied in that same accent.

"Well, d'you think we could eat it?" The first voice asked.

"Don't eat anything!" A new voice entered the mix, far more deep than the other two. "Not until we find out where we are."

"Where is Gandalf?" Another voice asked.

Hearing enough, Kat and I ran through the door, guns at the ready.

Let's just say that we were met with an interesting sight.

It was like the Renaissance festival workers got hungry for more than just turkey legs, so they came into town for more variety. There were four men and four children, but one of the men was clearly a midget, and the kids looked just like mini adults. Only, their ears... They were pointed.

One of the men pointed an arrow at us, and the others drew... swords

A little panicked, Kat and I aimed our guns.

"Drop your weapons!" Kat shouted, and one of the little children dropped his dagger.

"Pippin!" One of them glared at the now weaponless little man.

"Sorry, Merry!" He held his hands up, eyes wide with fear. "I panicked!"

The men held their ground, not at all bothered by our guns. The particularly tall man with dark, greasy hair took a step forward, so I took this opportunity to shoot a warning bullet into the ceiling.

"Get back!"

The group of men jumped, their eyes on the new hole in the roof. They lowered their weapons, but continued to hold them at the ready.

"Witchcraft!" The midget man with a long, fuzzy beard cried out. He clung to a giant axe for comfort, and you could hardly see his face underneath a massive helmet.

"For real, little man?" Kat laughed. "Witchcraft? What are we, puritans?"

Dang it, Kat. Don't tick off the men with the sharp, pointy blades...

That 'little man' about had a fit. "Little man?" He studdered, hardly able to believe his ears. "I am a dwarf!"

Well, that's new.

"Miladies!" The tall, greasy man who had stepped forward raised his free hand in what seemed like a gesture of peace. "Drop your weapons, and then we may speak peacefully to one another as civilized beings."

Due to my unwillingness to argue and Kat's love for kids, we lowered our guns, but were sure to stay prepared. That warning shot could have alerted nearby zombies, and now we've got these men to deal with.

Lovely.

"Who are you, and where did you guys come from?" Better to start at the beginning, eh?

"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn." The tall man gave us a slight bow. "These are my companions; Boromir of Gondor, Legolas of the woodland realm, Gimli son of Gloin, and these four hobbits are Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Frodo. We come from the mines of Moria."

"Uhuh..." Kat gave me a funny look before turning back to the men. "And I'm Captain Kat of the Black Pearl. This here's my partner in crime, Lady June of Bikini Bottom."

One of the men, the blonde one with those ridiculous sculpted elf ears raised an eyebrow at us. "You are pirates?"

Kat did a dramatic bow. "You are correct, sir."

"Kat!" I elbowed her in the gut and sent her a warning glare. "We're not pirates, we're survivors of the apocalypse. Now, seriously, who are you and where are you from?" My best guess? These were a couple of nerds who had dreamt of the apocalypse their entire lives. Now, they're just dying to play hero.

The man called Aragorn shook his head. "I told you the truth, milady. We came from down there." He pointed behind the front counter, where a little trap door met with a staircase leading to the basement.

When I moved to go downstairs, Aragorn stopped me.

"I would not go down there, milady. We barely escaped with our lives. We were attacked by a monster. It was lurking within the lake..."

"Oh, I'm sure I'll be fine." I moved around the giant man and carefully made my way down the stairs.

Just as I expected!

A basement.

Turning back to the group of foreign men, I studied their apparel more closely. Cloaks, swords, daggers, bows and arrows... Chainmail?

"What kind of game are you trying to play?" Sure, it'd be understandable if they were just using these things for their own protection. Chainmail would do a good job at protecting from zombie bites. They just had to bring their own little stories into it.

"We play no games, milady!" One of the 'hobbits' cried- Merry, I think- looking just as frustrated as I was. "We're telling you the truth! We don't know where we are, and we don't know where Gandalf is."

Aragorn sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "We would very much appreciate it if you could tell us where we are. I have been through Moria once before, and this is far from the mines." He looked down the stairs, a look of pure confusion on his face as he studied the lakeless basement. "It would be best for us to find our way back, and soon. We have a friend that is still down there."

"A man, asking for directions?" Kat laughed. "You see something new every day."

No joke. "You're in western Virginia. I'm not sure what city this is, though. We're just passing by."

The foreigners exchanged looks.

"Where's Virginia?" Pippin asked, earning an elbow in the gut from Merry.

"Ahh... I am not sure that we have had the pleasure of visiting Virginia?" Aragorn sighed, exchanging a worried glance with the other dark-haired man. Boromir, I think. "In which direction may we find Gondor?"

This time, it was my turn to exchange glances with Kat.

"Is that like a city, or something?" Kat inquired, looking to me for support.

Boromir's eyes widened. "It is a country, milady. East of Rohan. Do you not know of it? It lies to the west of Mordor's black gates."

Okay, that description helps a lot. "Look, I'm no genius when it comes to geography, but I'm pretty sure that those countries don't exist. Actually, I'm positive that they don't."

A gunshot rang from outside, and I looked out the window to see Lee shooting at three approaching zombies.

"Kat, go help him out, will ya?" Without another word, she was out there bashing zombies in the head. I turned back to the men and studied them closely. "Look, I'm convinced that you're crazy, but that really doesn't matter right now. You've got the little guys to protect, and we could use some more muscle. Come with us for now, and we'll sort things out later. We'll just have to find a globe, first..."

Of course, no one answered me at first, because they were all watching the zombie battle going on in the parking lot. Kat was using Leon as bait while she picked of any zombies that came near him.

After clearing my throat, Aragorn finally answered. "We have no other choice. Lead the way."

"What about Gandalf?" Frodo grabbed the man's shoulder, looking ticked and worried. "We cannot leave him behind!"

Legolas, the man with the ridiculous sculpted ears, stepped forward and whispered quietly into Aragorn's ear. He spoke in an odd language that I had never heard of before. It sounded nothing like French or Spanish, and the accent didn't resemble any other modern languages that I'd heard. If anything, it sounded like Old Norse.

Yepp. These guys are nerds.

Aragorn nodded silently to his friend, exchanging looks with Boromir, as well. "We go with the women. At present, they are our only sources of information. Gandalf is wise and powerful; he will find his way back to Rivendell. As for us, we must rely on our own resources."

Amid many complaints from the hobbits and Gimli, I led the group out into the sunlight. Let me tell you, it was like taking Amazon tribesmen into New York City. The hobbits studied everything with wide, fearful eyes, yet there was a curiosity in them that was evident. The men, however, did their best to keep on their poker-faces, even though their eyes continued to study their surroundings in amazement.

Not much to look at, if you ask me. A couple of old power lines and an abandoned pit-stop. Grass was sprouting through cracks in the pavement, and the buildings had a clear veil of dirt on their faded walls. It was no Mona Lisa.

Lee looked up to us from where he sat on the hood of his car. His hazel eyes brightened considerably at the sight of our newcomers.

"More survivors!" He exclaimed, wiping sweat from his prow. He hopped down from his car and strode over to the men, extending his hand for a handshake. "Leon Rodgers. You can call me Lee, though. I've gotta say, it's great to see that we're not the only ones alive..."

While the men got acquainted, I turned to Kat, who was sneakily putting on perfume behind the car. With a humored eye-roll, I snatched the perfume from Kat and tossed it back into the trunk. "Go get some more food. We're traveling with these men for a few days."

"Oh, really?" She raised an eyebrow and gave the men quick once-overs. "Well, dreams do come true."

"Please, don't make me regret inviting them." I don't need Lily exposed to anything too... Adult.

Kat gave me an innocent pout. "What are you talking about, June bug?" She then gave me a quick wink before heading back to the store.

That woman will be the death of us all.

With a sigh, I knocked on the car's back window. "Lily, you can come out, now."

My little sister peeked her blue eyes through the window, scanning her surroundings. They stopped at the hobbits, wide and amazed. "Elves!" She cried, hopping out of the car door and running for the little ones, who greeted her with big smiles.

"We're not elves, milady!" Sam gave her a shy smile.

"We're hobbits!" Merry chirped.

I rolled my eyes. Hobbits, indeed.

"So, where are you guys from?" Lee asked the men, who were eyeing a fallen zombie suspiciously.

"We can finish introductions, later." I sighed, cutting in on Lee's guy-time. Poor man's got to feel terrible, having to spend every day surrounded by women and zombies. "Right now, we've got to find a new car."

Lee's eyes brightened. Cars were his thing. "Of course! What kind of car do you guys prefer? We've got room for one more in our car, and I'm sure that we could find you guys a mini-van, somewhere..."

Okay, now I've got to break it to him. "Actually, Lee, I was thinking that we'd just get a big trailer for all of us..."

Lee blinked. "You mean, for you to drive, and I'll follow you in my car?"

Sigh... "No, I mean for you, too."

The man looked like he was about to have a heart attack. "I'm not getting rid of my car! I've had it since I first learned how to drive!"

"I know, I know! But you're the best driver we've got! We need you with us!"

"No, no, no!"

"Come on, Lee! Please!" I begged. "We can't get separated! The group has to stick together. Your car can't make it much farther."

"My car is fine!" He huffed, getting in the driver's seat and slamming the door. He put the key in the ignition and turned it.

The car didn't start.

Wow... Perfect timing!

Lee tried again, looking like he was ready to cry.

No luck.

The little devil on my shoulder smiled.

"Fine..." Lee sighed, slamming the car door behind him. "There's a camp site not too far from here. We could get there by nightfall if we left now."

"How do you know all of this?" Kat asked, returning with her hands full of bags.

Lee shrugged. "My grandparents used to live around here. I traveled a lot, back then."

Hey, at least someone knows what they're doing. "Lead the way, my friend!"