Seto Kaiba: The Most Unromantic Man in the World

Pairing – Seto x Fem!Joey

Summary – Valentine's Day One-Shot. Seto Kaiba wasn't the romantic type. Fem!Joey

A/N – Plot bunny that came from Valentine's Day and my 19 month old nephew lying on my chest

Frustrated, Joey Wheeler ran a hand though her already messy hair. Her pencil tipped against the counter of the Kame Game Shop, where she was working. But it was a slow day, and she was bored, so she starting to do her math homework.

With a growl and her head hitting the counter, she decided that it was a bad idea without Yugi or Ryou to help her.

But they were on dates because it was Valentine's Day.

Yugi was just going to shut down the shop for the day, so Joey could spend the day with her own boyfriend. But after waking up to an empty bed that was supposed to have her so called boyfriend in it, the only thing she frond was a white square box tied with a black bow on his side of the bed.

Opening it just pissed her off more, so she came here and told her best buddy she'd look after the shop.

But now she was bored and the numbers and freaking letters were just like Greek to her. And giving her a giant headache. With a sigh, she dropped her pencil on her book, faking a smile when a little boy walked in. He ignored all of the games, which had Joey raising her eyebrow, and just walked right up to her. He grinned, leaned up on the counter and all Joey saw was white.

"I was told by some scary man to give this to you!"

Blinking, she grabbed the paper and watched the kid run outside, a group of other kids waiting for him. They each had money in their hands and ran off.

She looked at the piece of paper in her hands and gently, slowly, placed in on the counter and moved it away with her pencil.

She knew who it was from and had no intention of reading it. Ever. Nope. She wasn't even tempted. Not even a little. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the paper.

Okay, maybe she was a little.

But that didn't mean she would look damnit!

She turned away, and with it being a slow day, decided some TV would be good for her. Besides, Joey grinned, Ninja Warrior was on.

She only got half way through an episode (that Spider Jump had most of the people in the water!), something vibrating.

"Ahh!"

Her heart racing, she jumped off of the couch, to see what she was sitting on. Only to feel something pressed against her ass.

Oh. Right. Her cell phone.

Her boyfriend gave it to her when they first starting dating because he hated not knowing where she was. Something about her being kidnapped and used for money, but then the kidnapers would decide she was too pretty and keep her and blah blah blah.

Yeah, she usually toned him out when he talked.

Shaking her head, she reached into her back pocket and thinking it was Yugi or Ryou, she just flipped it opened and looked at the text.

Read the damn note, puppy

For a few seconds, Joey did nothing. Her lips were placed in a straight line, her brows knitted together. But then, her hand enclosed tightly around her phone, her eye twitching.

"He better have had taken those cameras outta here!"

. . . Or he just knew her that well.

Either way, he was a fucking stalker who needed to be punched in the face. Hard. With a heeled shoe.

Without a second thought, Joey snapped her phone shut and went to get the note.

Only to find that stupid box on the counter.

What. The. Hell?

With a growl that would make a dog proud, she snatched the note up and opened it.

Wear it tonight

"That bastard," Joey said out loud, the piece of paper crumbling in her hand, "there's no way I'm wearing that . . . that. . ." Just thinking about what was in that box made her face heat up and her heart race.

Bastard.

Her phone vibrated in her hand.

Mokuba's with a friend and I'll be home at 8

Why was Mokuba always with a friend? That meant something weird was going to happen and combined with the . . . thing, Joey could only image what would happened.

As the bell rung, Joey took the box and the note and dropped them on the floor.

Her head hurt right now; she'd think about it all later.

!.!.!.!

"By the way Joey, what's in the box?"

Damnit, Joey thought, said box tucked under her arm. She'd hoped to get away without Yugi noticing. Yugi had just gotten back his date with Yami, who was also giving her a look. Joey rubbed the back of her head, laughing.

"Nothing, Yug', just, ya know, something that belongs in a box. . ."

Yugi raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He gave her a smile and nodded. "If you say so, Joey. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow. . . Later!"

Joey nodded at the pair, running out off of the door. She thought about heading to Kaiba Corp. if only to give said CEO a piece of her mind, but decided to just head home. If she saw him now, they'd just get into a fight and cause a whole scene that would be in magazines tomorrow.

As much as Joey loved being in the spot light, she hated people spreading around that Seto was getting tired of her and it was only a matter of time until he dumped her. Not that he would, the bastard did love her, on some level, and showed it as much as he could.

He was just a social dumpy. That, in itself, made her giggle and fall in love all over again.

It would take a few to walk home, but she didn't mind. She nodded and smiled at people, enjoying that they did the same thing back. It made her feel good that people thought she was good enough for it. Before, when she was in that gang with Tristan, people didn't even spare her the first glance, let alone the second.

Hands in her pocket, box under her arm and head held up high, Joey walked the rest of the way to the Kaiba Mansion, grinning like there was no tomorrow.

Enough though, inside, she was dreading tonight.

The box was just a reminder.

As she walked up to the gates, typed in the code and walked up the long driveway, she noticed no one was about. Usually there was a guard or two at the gates, at least one gardener and someone who was waiting to open the door.

But there was no one and it was quite. Like, horror-movie-something-bad-about-to-happen quite. Closing the door behind her, Joey glanced at the grandfather clock.

8:15

Oh.

Shi-

"What took you so long?"

Not expecting that, Joey dropped the box in fright, turning around to face the stairs, her eyes locking Seto's blue ones. She placed a hand over her heart.

"Don't do that! I almost had a heart attack, bastard!" Joey hissed, the lamp catching light on something, making her blink. Glancing down, she saw what it was.

Seto's present; that stupid dog collar. Seto also looked at it, smirking.

"Well? Are you going to put it on, puppy?"

"Hell no."

Joey watched every move he made as he walked down the stairs. He stopped in front of her, the tip of his leather shoe flipping the collar up and catching it in his left hand. He unhooked it, staring Joey down.

"Should I put it on, then?"

Joey pushed him out of the way, indenting on making him sleep on the damned couch that night. A dog collar for a Valentine's Day present?

Worst. Gift. Ever.

At least until Joey walked into their bedroom and saw a blue and white lingerie set lying innocently (yeah, right) on their bed. The strapless corset and matching panties were on her side of the bed, along with thigh high stockings and a garter belt.

. . . Is this considered romantic? Almost two years together and Seto has never done anything like this before. Joey walked over to her side and ran her fingers over the corset.

Was. . . Was Seto getting bored of her?

Joey shook her head. No way! If he was getting bored, he would just tell her. He's a blunt asshole like that. But. . .

She grabbed the corset and pulled it off of the bed.

Only for something small to fall on the floor.

Joey blinked, putting the corset back and bending down to pick up the object. Her heart raced as she held the object, fingering the small ring. A white ring, with three black stones, surrounded by four, smaller, white stones.

Even she wasn't that stupid to not know what that was.

"Well?"

Joey turned her head slightly, to see Seto leaning against their door frame, arms crossed. Look between her boyfriend and the ring, she walked over to him.

And shoved it right into his face.

"This is how you propose to me?"

A brown eyebrow rose.

"It was unique."

"We're still in high school."

"We're graduating in two months."

"Then why not just wait those two months?"

"Be thankful, I was going to ask you six months ago."

Joey pulled her arm back; it was getting tired, and crossed her arms. Six months he's been thinking about this? They were high school students! Joey rolled the ring onto her left ring finger. It was her size. She sighed and let her arms go limped at her sides. Seto had his eyes glued to her finger.

"I'm taking this as a yes."

"Whatever. . . I'm not wearing that." With one hand on her hip, she pointed her left hand to their bed. Seto shrugged and pulled her tight to his side.

"I never expected you too; in fact, I'd prefer it if you wore one of my dress shirts. . ." Hot breath on her ear added with a nipped on her lope, had Joey weak in the knees. The feeling of something being put around her neck had her look down. It was the collar and with a glare at her now fiancé, she grabbed the tag and turn it so she could read it.

Property of Seto Kaiba

If lost, call 555-555-1025

Do not touch

". . . Most unromantic bastard in the world."

1025. . . Kaiba's birthday. XD