Hey guys! Sorry I took such a long time to post this. Truth is, I'm a bit caught up with my uni work, especially this month. I will try to write a chapter, but I don't promise anything. Classes end the 1st of june and I have exams on the 11th and 19th. I might write a chapter until then, but, I don't know. Thanks for your patience anyways! And for all your support and compliments!
Now a few questions have been asked, so I will answer them:
- No, Annie did not kill someone in the bloodbath. She did stab a boy, but only to incapacitate him and get a way. She didn't kill anyone directly.
- I've been asked when I will end the story. I was thinking of right before Catching Fire. However, if I am still inspired - and you guys still want to read - I could do a sequel for Catching Fire and Mockingjay from Annie's and Finnick's POV.
- Someone pointed out that no one had gotten a twelve before Katniss and Peeta on the 75th Hunger Games. My bad. Only read the books once, so I forget some details. Let's all pretend I said Adastros got an 11.
So this is it. Anyway, you are all lovely with your reviews, and I got so many nice ones lately! Constructive too! Thanks, every comment helps me progress.
I will stop blablering now and let you guys read. Kisses!
"Try to eat something; you haven't touched your food at all…."
Mags was looking at Finnick over the lunch table. She was genuinely worried about him. He had briefly told her how it had gone with Annie, and she understood very well why he was upset. He didn't even rush down to the hospital wing this morning. She could only guess what he thought of Annie's reaction, but she knew very well it was not what he expected.
"I'm not hungry" he answered quietly, resting his head in his hand and staring at his plate with no interest whatsoever.
"She will come by, Finn" Mags told him in a reassuring tone. "A lot of kids come out of the arena that way"
"Yes, and end up drunk, suicidal, addicted to morphling or something of the kind" the boy retorted.
"But that won't happen to Annie" his friend told him.
Finnick raised his head, looking at her for a while as if deciding exactly what he could answer to that. "How can you possibly know that?"
"Because she has you" the old woman answered.
"That doesn't mean anything" he replied, looking down again. "I'm clearly not who she wants to be with right now"
Yet, as if to contradict him, the dining room door opened and a nurse poked her head in, laying her eyes directly on Finnick. "Sorry to interrupt, but Annie wants to see you. So when you're done…"
She didn't even have to finish her sentence that the boy was on his feet and following her, bewildered. Annie wanted to see him? Yet she'd been so cold the day before… maybe it was the morphling, or shock, or something like that. He felt ashamed of himself for jumping to conclusions. Mags was right, Annie needed him, and he had to do all he could to make her feel better.
"She really wants to see me?" he found himself unable to keep himself from asking.
"Doctor Rews has been trying to talk to her" the woman told him. "She's not very cooperative. After a while she refused to talk to him and said she wanted to see you"
Though he would have preferred, for Annie's sake, that she'd talked properly with the doctor, he couldn't help but feel pleased that she wanted to see him. That meant that, no matter what was going on in her head, she still had room for him in there. So he went the rest of the way in silence, unable to conceal a small smile on the corner of his lips, and as the nurse held the door open for him, he entered the room feeling a lot lighter then when he had left it the previous day.
This time, Annie was sitting up. She was hugging herself and seemed to be staring at something only she could see, for when Finnick walked into her field of vision, her eyes suddenly focused on him as if she had no idea he had been there the second before.
"Hi" he greeted her, pulling up his chair again and sitting by her bed.
She looked at him with an expression he was unable to decipher. "Hi"
Realizing she wasn't planning on saying anything else, Finnick went on. "So, the nurse told me you called for me?"
She simply nodded and continued staring at him, still bracing herself. That simple gesture made the young man quite nervous; she was so tense, as if expecting an attack, whereas she was safe now… Sighing, he moved from the chair to edge of her bed, and slowly took her hands, making her let go of her shoulders. He kept holding her hands in his, and stroked them soothingly with his thumb. "Why did you ask for me?"
"I…. want you here" she answered, turning away as if embarrassed. Did she think it would annoy him to be called down just for that? If so, she was very mistaken. Finnick was nearly ecstatic upon hearing that, way more than if she wanted something precise from him.
"Then I'll stay here" he assured her. "As much as I'm allowed"
"When are we leaving?" she asked weakly, not looking up.
"In less than a week" Finnick informed her, letting go of one of her hands to put her hair behind her ear. "But you have to do your interview first"
"I said no!" she burst out all of a sudden, looking up at him angrily then looking down again. "I don't want to!"
"You have to Annie, they-"
But she pulled her hands out of his and clasped them over her ears, closing her eyes and lowering her head, as if to shut him out completely. When Finnick got over his surprise, he tried to gently pull her hands away. It took him a while until he finally persuaded her to listen to him.
"It's really important that you listen to this, Annie" he told her, and frowned a bit when she didn't look at him. "Annie"
Reluctantly, she raised her eyes towards him.
"You can't refuse to do something the Capitol asks" he explained calmly. "If you do, they will hurt, not you, but someone you love. So if you don't care about yourself, think about your parents" "I really don't want to do an interview" she whispered, seeming suddenly so hopeless and fragile, now that she was facing a problem she couldn't just ignore.
"I know" Finnick murmured, taking her hand again. "I know. But think of it this way: one interview, and you'll be back home. Do you think you can do that?"
She passed her free hand over her face and didn't answer.
"Annie? Can you do that?"
"I don't know…" she was holding on to the tips of her long dark hair now. "What makes you say that?"
"Say what?"
"That they'll hurt my family?" she replied, so low that he barely heard her.
"Because that's what they did to me when I refused to obey them" he told her bitterly.
Hearing this, she looked back up at him, her green eyes wide, and for a split second, he recognized the Annie from back home, the Annie who had such a big heart, who was kind and caring.
"But I thought-"
"Fishing accident." He interrupted. "That's what they made it look like. But they made it very clear to me that I was being punished"
"Oh" she stared once more at the empty space in front of her, as if she was alone somewhere else. She seemed to come to some realization though, because her eyes filled suddenly with tears. Without hesitating, Finnick moved closer and pulled her gently against him, holding her head against his shoulder. He stroked her hair gently, assuming that everything that happened to her had finally hit her, and was a bit glad that she was finally crying it out. But he wasn't exactly right.
"We'll never be free, will we?" she mumbled against his shirt. "Being Victor only means we survived, not that we won, doesn't it?"
The boy closed his eyes. She had realized it fast. Way too fast. When he had won, his way of coping with it was acting proud of his title and of his survival. Pretending everything was great. That he was some kind of superhuman. But Annie did not fool herself. Which was probably the reason why she was reacting so badly. She didn't develop any kind of denial. She was way too insightful. She knew exactly what was going on.
"It's not that bad…" Finnick found himself lying, while he gently stroked her long dark hair. "You get used to it."
"I don't know if I can do the interview" she said all of a sudden, pulling away and looking into Finnicks eyes. "I can't, actually. I can't"
"I know it'll be hard-"
"I don't want to watch the recap, I don't want to talk about it!" she was becoming very agitated, and Finnick tried to hug her again, but she recoiled. "I hate this!"
"Maybe, if you start talking about it now, it will help?" Finnick suggested, not sure what to do … he wanted to comfort her but her reactions were totally unpredictable.
"It won't" she told him, bending her good leg so that she could hug it, placing her head against it.
"Believe me, it will"
"How?" she asked angrily. "It won't undo what happened! It won't bring Nepto back! It won't bring none of them back! It won't make me any less of a murderer!"
She had raised her head, and was glaring at him, tears flowing from her eyes. Before Finnick could even react, two nurses had entered the room, alerted by her screams. One of them was holding a needle in her hand, the other was making her way to Finnick.
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave…" she told him.
"NO!" Annie had lunged forward, grabbing the boy tightly to stop him from moving, With her good leg, she was kicking in the other nurse's direction, trying to keep her and her needle away, screaming at her.
Finnick would have found the situation comical if he wasn't aware of how serious this was. But he knew this wasn't a joke, and was quite shocked to see Annie acting this way. He held a hand out to the nurse, trying to motion her to stay away.
"It's alright, no need for that"
"Doctor's orders" she answered curtly, trying to grab Annie's leg with one hand as to stop it. "If she panics, we have to sedate her"
"NO! STAY AWAY, I DON'T NEED THAT!" she went on screaming.
"Now calm down, it's for the best" the nurse ordered her impatiently.
"It's fine, leave her alone" said a fifth voice.
Finnick and the nurses turned to look. Annie, once she saw the nurse was leaving her alone, stopped kicking and edged closer to her friend, clinging onto him and hiding her face against her neck. The same doctor that had let Finnick in the day before had entered the room.
"Doctor Rews, you said-" a nurse began.
"I know" he interrupted, raising a hand to ask for silence. "But she is not having a nightmare or a delirium. She was exteriorizing her feelings. You may go"
The two nurses left in silence, and the doctor turned to look at Finnick. For a moment he thought the doctor was going to lecture him, or require him to leave, but instead he gave him a small smile.
"I'm really sorry for the disturbance. I'll tell them to leave you alone from now on" he told Finnick, then turned to look at Annie, and went on in a softer voice. "It's alright, you can let it out"
She didn't answer, nor even look up at him, but the doctor went on: "If you don't want to talk to me just yet, it's alright. But try and talk to Finnick then"
He left the room, and Finnick felt an immense gratitude towards him. For a Capitol citizen, he was understanding and kind. The boy smiled and turned his attention back to Annie, kissing her head. The recap was only two days away. He head to help her as much as he could during that time.