Prologue

Behind the "Geekyness"

FABIANS POV

It hard to tell secrets. Defiantly big, personal ones. It would be easy to tell somebody like Alfie my secret. Then again, it might not be. I am not ready to tell anybody my secret, but I may not have a choice. I am hurting people I love, like Nina, and I am hurting my friends, like Amber. If I don't tell them, it just makes them more upset. But if I tell them, I have no way to know how they will react.

I'm gay. And I have no way how to tell Nina.

I knew I was gay when I kissed Nina at the prom. I kissed her to find out. It's not that I didn't love Nina (I do love her); it's that I needed to know who I was. On a dare, in the summer, I was told to kiss another guy. I did it only because I needed to make sure. Maybe Nina was just not the one. Maybe it was just her. But when I kissed the guy, it felt more right. And sadly, I can't change that.

I can never be with Nina Martin. I can never be with Joy Mercer. I am stuck having to be with someone of my gender. I am trapped. Sadly, in a way, I want to be with Nina. Joy, out of the question. I am holding on to Nina, and holding on to the guy I kissed over summer. Does that make me bi? No, because my feelings are different.

The way I feel for Nina, is different than the way I feel for the guy I kissed. Nina, I love her as my best friend, and the guy I kissed (And now kind of am dating), I love him, love him. And it sickens me to be this way. I try to tell myself that Nina is the one, but she isn't. Another guy is.

How do I tell Nina? I can't just walk up to her and say "Hey! Guess what, I'm gay! And I can never be with you!" That would hurt her so much. That's why I don't want to tell her. But if I don't tell her, and refuse to date her, that will hurt too. Then she will think I don't love her at all. And I do. Nina is so special to me. If anything happened to her because of me, I don't know if I could live with myself.

For now, I need to keep things quiet. I need to hold it off for now. Summer just ended, and I am not even at the House of Anubis yet. I am still in a black taxi, only a few miles away from everyone. Just thinking about it makes me break into a sweat.

My cell phone rings, and I take it out of my pocket. Nina. At first, I wasn't going to answer it. But then she might feel like I am ignoring her. So, I take the call. She sounds so excited on the phone, and it makes me smile. I am so glad her summer was nice.

"Hey Fabian! Are you almost at the house? Sadly, my plane was delayed so I won't be there till tomorrow." Nina said, cheery as always

"Good for you, you arrive on the first day of classes!" I said, smiling to no one.

"Shut up! I got to go, our plane is boarding. I'll be at school around five in the morning tomorrow. See you!" Nina said, hanging up. I put my phone back in my pocket, and relax until the taxi pulls up to the house. Everybody is standing outside, as more people arrive at the school.

Amber was (I think, anyways) wrestling with Jerome, which I noticed he had her hairbrush. Patricia was hugging Joy, and I saw Mara kissing Mick. Without Nina, it felt like I didn't belong much. She wasn't here before, but things were different. The whole mystery last year changed a lot. And kissing Nina changed me completely.

I step out of the taxi, and Alfie waves to me. I take my stuff out of the trunk, and set it on the Anubis' door step. Amber stops wresting Jerome, to give me a hug. I hug her back gently, and she let's go.

"Fabian! I have missed you so much! Where's Nina?" Amber asked me, looking over to Jerome, who was whining. Amber had actually gave Jerome a bloody nose. I didn't know she had it in her. Who knew?

"Her flight's been delayed. She should be here tomorrow." I said, looking over to Jerome myself. Trudy had given him some tissues, and he mumbled something under his breath. Amber giggled, and Jerome rolled his eyes.

Amber walked back towards Jerome, and took her hairbrush from his hand. "That outta teach you something." She said, skipping happily into the house, holding her bejeweled hairbrush. I couldn't help from laughing, and Jerome gave me a glare.

Things were awkward between us.

I decided to take my bags into my room, so I could get settled in. I picked my bags back up, and walked into the house. Trudy was busy baking up a storm, and Amber was already upstairs. Patricia walked in, as I walked towards my room. She waved, and I politely smiled at her. My hands were full.

I walked into my room, and Mick's stuff was already put away. I set my bags out on my bed, and left them there. I can get settled later. I need to get some certain things done.

What do you think so far? Who do you think Fabian kissed over summer? Please review, and check out my other stories sometime!