Suffering the pain of missions

Natsume slowly limped into his special star room. In spite of the pain he was in, his lips were grazed with a smile as he saw the figure of Mikan Sakura lying sleeping on his bed. She had waited for him to come back from that godforsaken mission. Natsume inched closer to her, to watch her sleep peacefully.

Natsume fell to his knees, as his legs could no longer carry his weight. Mikan didn't wake up from the noise, luckily. He laid his head on the bed as he struggled to catch his breath. Blood was probably already on the bed, but he didn't care.

Mikan looked like an angel as she slept and Natsume almost couldn't force his gaze away from her. No matter how terrible or excruciating the mission had been, it had all been worth it. It would hurt him more than any injury he had ever had, if she, got hurt.

His chest burned with exhaustion from overusing his Alice, but he didn't have the strength to stand up and walk over to get his pills. He groaned, and moved his hand over to put pressure on a wound he had on his shoulder. His shirt was already soaked with blood.

The missions had grown worse as he became older and better at fighting. This one was no different. The only reason he had actually been there was to lead all the enemies away from all the other members so they could safely do their stuff. Unfortunately it hadn't been the same for him. He had about 10 men after him, no matter how much he tried he couldn't shake them off. They had attacked him a couple of times, and the only reason he got away was because he ran into the academy. By that time they were almost right behind him. But well they felt what it was like to get roasted. It had taken him almost half an hour to get from the gate to the dorms. It hurt like hell, but he was here now.

Natsume couldn't bring himself to wake the sleeping beauty in front of him so he sat alone in pain. Suddenly his chest started burning and blood could be tasted in the back of his mouth. Natsume started coughing, muffling the sound with his sleeve as he hoped he wouldn't wake Mikan. His coughing steadily grew more violent and he felt blood soak his sleeve.

"Natsume…?" Mikan muttered sleepily and opened her eyes. The chocolate brown orbs widened in shock when she saw Natsume hunched over coughing. "Natsume!" She shouted now fully awake. She quickly sat up.

A couple of minutes passed before Natsume stopped coughing. He panted and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Then raised his pain filled eyes to stare into Mikan's. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she saw the state he was in. She hurried down to him and helped him up on the bed. He laid on his side and followed her with his eyes as she got the emergency kit and his pills. He struggled to get his breathing in check; he inhaled for 3 seconds and exhaled for 3 seconds. Kept going until he could breathe almost normally. The pain decreased a little as he kept breathing.

Mikan came out from the bathroom again with all the equipment she needed. She placed it on the bed and went over to Natsume.

"Can you sit up, Natsume?" She asked. Natsume slowly used his uninjured arm to push himself up, with Mikan's support he finally sat up.

"I'm going to take your shirt off Natsume." Mikan said and started to undo the buttons. Natsume stared at her as she worked. When she was done she slowly took the shirt off him, he grimaced as it ran over his wound.

"Sorry." Mikan apologized crying.

"It's okay…" Natsume said and smiled. He raised his hand and wiped the tears off her cheeks. Natsume leaned over and kissed her. "Keep going."

Mikan nodded and tried hard not to cry as she went over to look at his shoulder. She wiped the blood away, and went over to the emergency kit. She found a disinfectant and some bandages and went over to Natsume. She poured some of the disinfectant onto a cloth.

"This is going to hurt. Do you want anything? Painkillers?"

"No, just do it." Natsume said and grabbed hold of the edge of the bed. Mikan bit her lip and pressed the cloth against the wound. Natsume didn't cry out, but she could feel his body tense and his hands were white from grabbing the edge of the bed so hard.

"Sorry…"

When she was done she dressed the wound and took care of all his other smaller wounds. Natsume saw the pill glass laid beside the emergency case and reached out for it. He took two and swallowed them. The pills were for his Alice type.

"Are you okay?" Mikan asked worried, and stared at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." Natsume said and embraced her.

Mikan pushed away from him marched away angrily. "No you're not!" She yelled, "Natsume, you've been doing missions for 4 years! When is it going to be enough? You earned your freedom years ago! It shouldn't be like this. You don't deserve this Natsume. You… You're growing weaker. If it keeps going on like this you might actually die Natsume…" Mikan sobbed, her hand over her mouth not wanting to believe that fact.

"Mikan, I…" Natsume started and got up from the bed. He staggered and fell down to his knees.

"Natsume!" Mikan ran over and kneeled down beside him, tears flowing freely from her eyes. Unexpectedly he leaned over and kissed her.

"I love you Mikan, you know that right?"

Mikan nodded, her head buried in his chest as she continued to cry. Natsume held protectively around her.

"I can't stop doing missions Mikan. It isn't an option for me, so we just have to live with it."

"Then let me help you with them." Mikan protested.

"Please don't ask it of me to bring you in danger. I could never forgive myself if anything happened to you. I love you Mikan. Please don't ask it of me. It would hurt me more than any wound could."

"But I don't want you to die."

"I won't. Don't you remember the day I promised that to you? I won't ever leave you. After graduation this will all be over. We'll get married and buy a house and have children. We'll never have to worry about a single thing. Right?"

Mikan nodded, she had stopped crying ad now they just sat on the floor holding each other. Seeking comfort from the life they were living.

Natsume silently wondered if he would make it to graduation. He knew that it would be a long shot and he would have to minimize his Alice usage a lot, but he was willing to do it for the dream that he and Mikan could live together peacefully outside the academy's walls. He let himself believe it, repeating it again and again inside his head so it would sound right.

Mikan yawned quietly against his shoulder. He smiled and pulled her with him up on the bed. They spooned together on the bed Natsume lying with his arm around Mikan's waist. Both of them were exhausted so it didn't take long before they fell asleep.