This is my first fanfic! I appreciate all reviews! This one shot takes place after CP.

She was "Jem's Tessa" now. Will tried to look happy, for Jem's sake. But when that proved impossible he just tried to look like he wasn't being tortured. He also tried to stay away from her, but he wasn't very successful at that either. As much as it hurt seeing them together, it hurt even more to stay away from her. And while Will knew that Tessa would never, could never, be his, he also knew that he could never leave. Tessa was his life, even as distant as they were, and he could never stay away from her. The most he could manage was a few days without her. A few days without Tessa felt like years, and eventually he would allow himself to pass her in the hall, or even sit in the same room with her while they each pretended to read.

One night during one of Will's self imposed "avoid Tessa" periods, the pain was so great that he wanted to barge into Jem's room and insist that Jem let her go. Beg Jem to do the thing that Will could not. In a last ditch effort, Will fled the institute and slipped into the night. When he finally returned home, he wanted, needed, a moment of respite. He had to lessen the pain, if only for a moment. He headed straight for Jem's hallway, but it wasn't Jem's door he knocked on.

...

The tap on the door was quiet but earnest. She cracked the door and was eye level with his chest—Will's chest. He was soaking wet. She started to protest before she even knew what he wanted, "Will—"

"Tessa, please." He cut her off, his eyes pleading. His face was full of anguish, and her heart hurt for him, for her, for them. The 'them' that could never be. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and she was sure that he hadn't. Every night he left the institute and roamed the streets for hours. Tonight it was raining, which explained why he was dripping water in her doorway.

"Please," he whispered, "can I come in… if I promise not to touch you?" He looked tortured and exhausted. She didn't want him to promise that. She was all too aware that he hadn't laid a finger on her since that night in the library. She wanted to open her arms to him, but instead she just opened the door. When he realized she was letting him in, he exhaled in relief, like someone who just made it home from a long, miserable journey. She took his hand, and led him over to the bed. Neither of them spoke, each keeping their pain and heartache to themselves. They sat next to each other on the edge of the bed, his eyes full of torment.

"Oh, Will" she whispered, as she brushed his wet hair from his face. He choked back a sob as he laid his head in her lap. They stayed that way for a time. She continued to sooth him and stroke his hair, even as her tears fell silently onto his already wet curls. Eventually his clenched fist that held tightly to her dress loosened, and he fell asleep. "I love you." She whispered, knowing he would not hear her.

She was not sure when she fell asleep, but while it was still dark, she was semi-conscious of him kissing her hair and silently leaving the room.

No, she was not "Will's Tessa." But she was not completely Jem's either.