The Fangreaders Anniversary Writing Challenge

Title: Five Years Gone

Author: Drumbjo

Beta: Nope – all my own mistakes

Anniversary: 5 years since Sookie last saw husband Alcide and best friend Eric.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Southern Vampire Mysteries, unfortunately. The words in this order belong to me.

Summary: Written for the Fangreaders Anniversary Writing Challenge. Sookie spills her feelings for him to best friend Eric when things aren't going to well with husband Alcide. Five years later, they meet up again.

It was five years since I'd last seen Alcide. Or Eric for that matter, and four and a half years since my divorce had been confirmed. London was a big enough city, with over twelve million inhabitants in the metropolitan area, meaning that my chances of bumping into either one of them was slim to none.

It had been hard to lose both of them, and I'd lost count of the number of times that I'd kicked myself for opening my mouth. Some things were better left unsaid, and that was certainly one of them.

I'd moved to London to go to university. I wanted the challenge that came from moving to a new country to live and study, and sure, England didn't have the language barriers that other European countries would have, but it was still very different from my native small town Louisiana.

I met Alcide within weeks of moving to London. He was a few years older than I was, and had lived in London his whole life so took me under his wing. The attraction between us was instant; he was tall and muscular with very dark brown curly hair that bordered on being black and sexy pale green eyes that contrasted his otherwise dark features. I fell hard for him, and within two years, we were married.

Sure, many people told me that twenty years old was too young to get married, but I was happy and in love, and didn't once think that we wouldn't make it. And maybe I was naïve. Most people seem to agree with that statement now whenever I told them I'd been married and divorced by the time I was thirty. Or twenty-seven, to be exact.

But it was my own fault. I shouldn't have said what I did, or at least not to who I did.

.

Five years earlier

"Are you sure murder's not legal in this country?" I flopped down onto the sofa next to Eric as he handed me an open beer. It had become a usual routine for us to meet up after work on a Friday and have a few beers if we didn't go out to the pub.

"Sorry. I checked Wikipedia, which seemed to suggest it wasn't."

"Damn. I could make it look like an accident?"

Eric smiled. "I'll be your alibi."

"Thanks." I nudged him in the side and sank back into the seat, trying to pay attention to whatever crap was on the TV.

"Maybe you could get her deported?"

I turned to face him, his eyes bright with humour. "It's an option, although I'm not too sure that pissing me off is an offence."

Eric and I had been close friends since we first met through my then boyfriend Alcide. He was tall, smart, good-looking, funny and likeable, and therefore had attractive women hanging off his arm at almost all occasions. I'd lost track on the number of women that Eric had dated in the time I'd known him, but not one of them had lasted more than a few months. Eric wasn't one to commit to anyone, although I always wondered whether he was just waiting for Miss Right to come along. And I couldn't help but feel jealous that someday some woman would get Eric to herself, as I always assumed any woman in his life wouldn't be fond of me being so close to Eric.

Alcide himself wasn't bothered by mine and Eric's relationship. He wasn't a naturally jealous person, and he trusted both of us. And nothing had ever happened between Eric and me.

But that was a problem in itself, as recently I'd been beginning to have feelings for him.

"Have you spoken to Alcide about it?" Eric's tone was suddenly more serious again.

I sighed. "No. Well, not exactly. He thinks I'm being unreasonable, that I should give her a chance. He certainly is."

Eric gave me a chiding look. "Sookie." His tone was gentle, but there was a warning in there.

"I know." I drained my bottle of beer and went to the fridge for another. But instead went for the bottle of Jack Daniels sat on top and paired it with a can of diet coke.

"Onto the hard stuff?" Eric queried. I wasn't normally one for JD, but I felt the need for it.

"She's pissing me off, Eric. And Alcide is completely oblivious to her schemes. She has always wanted whatever I had, even since we were kids, and he doesn't see that she's trying to get her claws into him."

Eric sighed, a thoughtful expression on his face. I turned away from him and focussed on the TV.

I was so confused. Being this close to Eric was causing havoc with my body and emotions, although it was strange as that never used to be the case. We'd always been friends before and although I had to admit that he was a damned good-looking man, I'd never fantasised about him or wanted him for my own.

However, many things had changed when my cousin Hadley moved to the UK. We were only separated by a year and a half, so had been fairly close growing up in Louisiana. But she always seemed to be jealous of me. I didn't really know what it was that she wanted … her family were probably wealthier than mine, so she always had the nice clothes first before they were passed to me when she got bored of them.

I'd moved to London to seek my own life and be independent of my family. My parents and my gran had been supportive of my move, and they had their own lives in Louisiana along with my older brother Jason who was finally settled down and married to a local girl. They had two sons with a third one on the way, so kept everyone busy.

But Hadley's arrival in London had complicated things for me. She had nowhere to stay, so Alcide suggested that we put her up in our house. I agreed on the assumption that it would only be for a few days or weeks at the most, but months later, she was still living in my house with me and my husband and with no sign of her leaving anytime soon. And of course she didn't work or help around the house either, which really pissed me off.

Alcide told me that I was being unreasonable, and was annoyingly supportive of her. We'd gotten into more arguments than I could remember in the six months she'd been in England, and it only made me resent her all the more.

It was also after Hadley's arrival that I started to spend more time with Eric. Alcide was a doctor, so often worked unsociable hours, and as I didn't want to be stuck in the house with Hadley, I would relocate to Eric's place to hang out.

"How are things with you and Alcide?"

Eric's voice drew me out from my thoughts, but I didn't turn to face him. "Honestly? Not that great. We hardly seem to see each other anymore, and when we do recently we've been either arguing when alone." I turned to face him, aware that tears were showing in my eyes. "It's getting to me, Eric." I drained the rest of my glass of Jack Daniels and poured myself another; pleased I'd thought to bring the bottle with me.

"Aren't you drinking a little bit too much?" he asked. He knew I wasn't a big drinker, but I really needed to get drunk.

"Probably," I said downing half the glass and feeling the warm burn of the liqueur slide down my oesophagus.

"Sook, you need to sort this out between you and Alcide before it gets much worse."

I sighed. "I know. But whenever I've tried, he's always so defensive. He won't listen to me."

"Still…"

"Everything has changed, and it's Hadley's arrival that has caused it. I just … I'm not sure… I …"

I stopped speaking and leaned back into the comfortable sofa. I put my hands over my face and allowed my emotions to come to the surface, keeping what had been bottled up underneath for several months to the surface.

"What is it?" he asked softly, his body dangerously close to mine and his hands gently prising mine away from my face. I opened my eyes and stared into his incredible blue ones. He really was so handsome, and in that moment, he was all that I wanted.

"Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I met you first."

His brow furrowed but he didn't let go of me. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that recently I've been thinking that maybe Alcide was a mistake." I could feel that my body and tongue were loose from the alcohol, but somehow I couldn't stop myself from speaking. "I wish I was with you."

"Sookie …" he stopped, dropped my hands and ran his fingers through his hair, the muscles of his arms bulging as he did so. It made me want to run my fingernails along them. Or my tongue.

"I think I'm in love with you, Eric."

This time Eric jumped up off the sofa and stared at me. I breathed out a deep breath and shut my eyes. I didn't dare to breathe as I waited for his response.

"Sook…"

"I know. I shouldn't have said that. But it's the truth." I opened my eyes and looked at him. "I do."

"You're married to my best friend."

"I know, but …"

"There's no but about it. I think you should go home. You're drunk and you'll feel better in the morning. Speak to Alcide."

Eric's arms were crossed against his chest, and I knew him well enough to know that I wasn't getting anything else out of him when he was in this mood.

"Fine." I got up and stumbled a little. Eric caught me to prevent me from crashing into the coffee table, and I couldn't help but stare into his eyes. I licked my lips and moved in closer to kiss him, but he pulled back.

"Don't do that. I'll call you a cab."

I sank back down again as Eric left the room, and I heard him on the phone to the local taxi company. I didn't really remember my journey home or climbing into bed, but I obviously did.

I felt like shite the next morning. Unfortunately, I remembered everything of what I had said and done, and I made a mental note to never drink Jack Daniels again. Or possibly anything. I also needed to do what Eric had suggested and speak to Alcide. Things weren't good between us, and we needed to work things out between us, as I did really love him. But one thing I was going to insist on was that Hadley had to go. Things had only become bad between us when she arrived, which meant that for things to get better, she had to leave me and Alcide to it.

After a much needed shower, I went downstairs to make myself a cup of coffee, pleased that Hadley wasn't anywhere in sight. As I ate my breakfast of toast and marmite, the key turning in the door caught my attention. Alcide walked into the kitchen accompanied by Eric, and the look on both of their faces made my breath catch in my throat.

"We need to talk, Sookie," Alcide started as he sat down. His expression was a serious one, whereas Eric's, although serious, was looking more apologetic and a little worried.

Which meant that he'd told Alcide what happened the night before between us. A cold chill went down my spine and I felt my stomach bottom out.

"Sure," I almost whispered.

Eric sat down next to Alcide, although seemed troubled and kept a distance between both Alcide and me. I didn't want to blame Eric for this, but if he had told Alcide, I knew that I probably would.

"Eric told me what you said last night, Sookie. You're in love with him?"

Alcide certainly wasn't going to beat around the bush with this, which surprised me to some extent considering how he'd been about the whole Hadley thing.

"Alcide … I love you."

He shook his head, his eyes full of emotion. Namely anger, but hurt was in there as well. "That wasn't what I asked. Are you in love with Eric?"

I saw no point in trying to deny it, and I wiped the tears from my cheeks. "Yes."

Alcide let out a shuddering sigh and stared down at the table. I could tell that he was desperately trying to process everything that had happened, and I felt incredibly guilty that I had been the cause of his pain. No one said anything for a few minutes before Alcide started speaking again. "I want you packed and out of the house by tomorrow."

"What?" Eric and I both said at the same time.

I felt my heart shatter at his words. He wanted me gone. He didn't want to work at this; he just wanted me out of his life. Eric seemed just as surprised as I was, but it wasn't time to think about him.

"You heard me, Sookie. I've always put up with your friendship with Eric, and I honestly never thought anything would be between you." He turned to Eric briefly, "but I'm not blaming this on you, man."

Eric didn't have an answer for him, and turned to me, his face a picture of shock. It pissed me off that Alcide was so accepting of Eric in this.

Alcide carried on. "I trusted you, Sookie. I trusted you not to betray me."

I was stunned into silence, and Eric spoke almost in desperation to his friend. "Alcide, I didn't tell you because I thought you should split up with her, I told you because–"

He didn't get to finish his sentence as Alcide cut him off. "It doesn't matter why you told me. It was the right thing to do, and I thank you for being honest with me." Alcide turned his eyes on me. They were colder than I had ever seen them before. "We're over. I won't tolerate you being in love with someone other than me, particularly not my best friend. Leave your lawyer's address, mine will be in touch."

Alcide stood up and walked out, leaving me and Eric alone together. I didn't look at him, but I probably wouldn't have been able to see from the tears clouding my vision anyway.

Eric stood in the kitchen and waited for me to wipe my eyes and look up at him. He looked like he was searching for the right words to say but couldn't find them.

"Just go, Eric," I croaked.

"I'm sorry," he whispered back before he followed my husband out of the kitchen and out of my life.

.

"Get up."

"No."

I pulled the covers over my head and tried to ignore the witch in my room, hoping that she would take the hint and leave me the fuck alone. I'd taken the day off work for the sole reason that I wanted to hide from the world. It had been my tradition on this January day, and at the five-year anniversary, I certainly didn't want to leave my bed.

"Sookie, get out of bed."

"No. And I gave you my spare key for emergency purposes only."

"This is."

"No it isn't, Amelia. Leave me alone."

Amelia and I had made friends within the first week of meeting at King's College, so she knew all about my drama with Alcide and Eric, and stuck by me through the thick of it.

"Not going to happen, Sookie. Tray, Lafayette, Pam, Sam, Isabel and Russell are going to be meeting us in exactly one hour." I groaned to myself at the thought of it. Amelia on her own would've been bad enough, but all of them was too much. She sat down on the bed next to me. "Sook, we've all taken the day off work, and we're going to spend the day with you. It's time you stopped hiding from this."

I sat up and glared at her. "You're talking as if I've been moping for five years solid. That's not the case and you know it."

"I know."

"So let me have this one day to feel sorry for myself."

She pulled the covers off me and threw them onto the floor. "Sweetie, I know that you have put a brave face on it, but I also know that you are still hurting. Your relationships with Quinn and Bill didn't work because you still had issues. We want you to have fun, Sookie. And this is the day to do it."

"Why not tomorrow?" I groaned.

"Because we're doing it today. Now get your smelly arse in the shower."

I did as she ordered knowing all too well that battling with Amelia was a lose-lose exercise. By the time I was out of the shower had dried my hair and applied a little make-up, Amelia had chosen an outfit for me of boot-cut dark blue jeans paired with a white button-down shirt and a red tank top over it. It was a good outfit, I had to admit, and one I wouldn't have put together myself. She let me pull on my trusted brown boots and we were ready to go.

It seemed that Amelia really did have a full day planned, and we started with a trip to London Zoo – a place I'd never been to before despite my thirteen years living in the city – lunch at a trendy hotel, a tour around Madame Tussauds and then a trip on the London Eye as the sun set. The day was beautiful and clear, albeit somewhat chilly, but it meant that the views of London across the river to parliament were superb.

The eight of us laughed and joked, and I'd soon forgotten all my worries concerning Eric and Alcide. In truth, I didn't think about them that often, although I had always allowed myself that one day a year to mope about what I'd lost. I hadn't seen or spoken to Eric or Alcide since that day in my kitchen as we let our lawyers deal with the divorce, but I'd heard news of them both as Pam was a friend of Eric's.

In particular, she had told me that only twenty months after our divorce was finalised, Alcide had married Hadley.

I had to admit that at the time, I was really hurt. And the worst thing was that despite my parents and family knowing all about my drama with Alcide, Hadley and Eric, they were hugely supportive of Hadley being married to my ex-husband. And that ultimately caused a rift between me and my family back home. To me, it just proved that maybe there always was something between Alcide and Hadley, but I had never been given the chance to find out or confront him about it.

It was seven in the evening that we finally made it to the restaurant we'd booked for dinner, and we all enjoyed a veritable feast of Italian food washed down by far too much Peroni. After that we relocated to a nearby jazz bar where Pam used to work.

"Sooks, what's your opinion?" Lafayette was being a brash as he usually was after alcohol, and as always the conversation turned to his favourite topic: Men.

"On who's better looking? I'd definitely pick George."

"George Clooney over Brad Pitt? You're wrong."

"You asked me my opinion!"

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd give the wrong answer."

"I'm sorry, I'm not saying I don't think Mr Pitt is hot, as he really is, but I can't forgive the man for all that facial hair the other year. And George … I am still in love with Doug Ross, so he'll win every time."

Lafayette looked like he was considering my point. "Clooney was hot in ER."

"And I loved him in Out of Sight and From Dusk til Dawn. And Ocean's 11. Yum."

"True," he agreed. "But I think Bradley has aged better."

"George is two years older," I pointed out, laughing at the face that Lafayette pulled.

I expected Lafayette to continue our bickering, but him, just like everyone else remained quiet. It was then that I turned my head to the side to see Eric standing by our table.

And boy did he look good. He was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a dark grey button down shirt. His blond hair was longer than I remembered it to be, but it suited him.

I didn't know what to do or say. I suddenly felt sober despite all the beer I'd drunk, and I was worried that if I opened my mouth I'd revert to my normal protocol on this day of the year: crawling into a ball and hiding in the corner.

Instead, I settled on giving Amelia an evil glare before staring at the table in front of me as if it was the most interesting thing in London.

"Sookie," he started but was interrupted by Amelia.

"No. You can go. We don't want you here, and certainly not today."

"Amelia," Pam warned, obviously sticking up for her friend.

"What? He has caused enough pain for Sookie, and it took me enough effort to get her out of bed in the first place this morning." I was torn between wanting to smack Amelia and wishing for the ground to swallow me up whole. If given a choice, I'd have taken the second option.

"Can we talk, Sookie?" Eric asked, obviously ignoring the pair of them. "Sookie?" he prodded when I hadn't answered him.

I took a deep breath to steel myself before looking up at him. As he was dressed nicely, I assumed that he was on a date, and I knew from past experience that the woman he was with would not be happy about him talking to a woman who probably was still in love with him.

"I don't think so, Eric. Go back to your date."

He looked a little surprised that I had guessed he was on a date, and almost on cue an attractive redhead came up by his side.

"Eric, are you coming?" the redhead asked him.

"Give me a moment," he said to her. She raised an eyebrow and walked off. Oddly, she hadn't looked annoyed or upset. He turned his attention back to me and met my eyes. "Please, Sookie. There are things I need to say to you."

I could tell that he wasn't going to back down any. "Fine," I said begrudgingly, standing up and pushing my way past Russell and Isabel. I followed Eric to a quiet corner and sat down at the table opposite him.

"Alcide is here."

I really hadn't expected him to say that, and he caught me completely off guard. "With Hadley?"

He nodded. "Yes."

When he didn't say anymore, I stood up to leave. "Thanks for the warning."

I stepped a few paces away from him before he grabbed my elbow and pulled me back. "Sookie, stop. That wasn't all that I wanted to say." He pulled me back to the table and I sat down opposite him.

"Okay."

"Sook, I didn't tell Alcide what happened that night because I wanted to get you in trouble. I did it because I wanted you and Alcide to be happy."

I laughed bitterly. "Well you failed there."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I didn't for one moment think that he'd end things with you."

"I'm sorry; I don't understand your reasoning."

He took a moment to collect his thoughts before answering. "I know I asked you that evening how things were between you and Alcide. But I'd noticed myself that things weren't right between the two of you. And when you announcing that you had feelings for me … I was stunned. I never for one moment thought that you would feel anything like that for me."

"I still don't get your point, Eric."

"I'm getting there," he said with a slight smile. "The point is that I told Alcide as a warning. As I said, I could see that things weren't good between the two of you, and I was hoping that my telling Alcide that you were looking elsewhere meant that he'd work harder at your relationship. I didn't want to see you hurt, and I was certain that your predicament was more his fault than yours."

I did understand what he was getting at. He told Alcide because he thought that it would save rather than ruin our relationship. Of course, that only fed my theory that there was something between Alcide and Hadley, as my ex-husband obviously took that piece of information and ran with it.

It also showed that Eric felt absolutely nothing towards me.

"I understand, Eric. I think ultimately we wouldn't have lasted long that together anyway. There were too many things wrong between us." I put on a brave face and gave him a smile. "Can I ask how long it was between Alcide leaving me and him getting together with Hadley?"

He gave me a sympathetic smile. "A few months, I believe."

Wow ... that hurt. I always assumed that Alcide might have at least waited for our divorce to be finalised before hooking up with my cousin.

Eric continued. "He didn't tell me about it at first, and I will admit to hitting him when I found out."

"You hit him?" I asked, genuinely surprised.

"Yes. In my opinion he should have fought harder to keep you, but it was obvious that he'd had feelings for Hadley before you guys split up."

"He admitted to that?"

He nodded. "Yes."

I shook my head, suddenly angry at Alcide and wanting to go and hit him myself. "So really, me being in love with you wasn't any different to him being in love with Hadley? The fucker." I kicked the table in front of me in wanting to do something to let out my frustration. I was pissed that he'd let me take the fall when he was no better himself.

Eric met my eyes and spoke after a moment. "You were really in love with me?"

I tried to avoid his gaze, but he placed a hand on my cheek and forced me to look into his eyes. "Yes, Eric. I was." And probably still did, but he didn't have to know that.

"I'm sorry I didn't handle it well. You shocked the hell out of me."

I looked down at the table and picked at my fingernail. "It doesn't matter. I don't know what I expected you to say to be honest."

"You'd been feeling it for a while?"

I didn't quite know where Eric was going with this. "Yes. A few months, probably. And the alcohol loosened me into telling you when I wouldn't have otherwise."

We were both silent for a few moments, and I went to get up again. I hadn't seen Alcide in five years, but knowing what I did now, I intended to give him a piece of my mind. He not only hurt me, but he let me take the blame all on myself for our relationship breakdown when he was just as guilty himself.

"Sookie, I used to think it as well."

His voice was almost desperate as he held me back in my place. His body was close to mine, and I felt my whole body hum with excitement at the thought of his touch. It told me that where I was certainly over Alcide, I still had some pretty intense feelings for Eric.

"What?"

"Five years ago … you told me that you sometimes wondered what would have happened if you met me before Alcide."

"Yes, I did." I remembered it all too well.

"I used to think it as well."

That confused me. "What? What did you use to think?"

He moved even closer to me. "That I wished I'd met you before Alcide did."

"Why?"

He laughed to himself. "Sook, I always had a thing for you."

"What?" I was aware that my mouth was hanging open, but I couldn't close it.

"I always wanted you. From the moment I first met you, I wanted you. But Alcide was my best friend, and I wasn't going to go after his woman no matter how much I wanted to."

I could hear my heart thumping within my chest even over the music of the club. This was probably about the last thing I expected him to say.

"Alcide knew what I felt for you," he said to me when I didn't respond. "It was probably part of the reason why he acted the way he did."

"But why did you tell him?" I said softly, still stunned at his confession.

"Because it would have been selfish of me to take advantage of you. You were hurt by Alcide's reaction to Hadley, and I didn't like seeing you hurt. I'd rather have seen you happy with Alcide than miserable."

I sat down heavily in the chair at the table trying to process all that he was telling me. It was unreal to think that all the time I'd known him he'd been attracted to me and I hadn't known it.

"It is exactly five years, isn't it?" Eric mused, more to himself than for my benefit.

"Yeap. I normally spend the day hidden indoors with a duvet over my head."

Eric reached out and took my hand. "I'm glad you came out tonight. I've missed you."

I'd missed him as well. "As a friend?"

"As a friend, yes. But more than that – I loved your company. And sure, I wasn't with you in the way I wanted to be, but being your friend was better than nothing. I beat myself up over the fact that my actions broke our friendship."

"Not literally, I hope."

"No, although it was tempting." He smiled for a moment. "Are you seeing anyone now?"

I shook my head. "No. I've had a couple of boyfriends, two of which lasted for a year or so. But nothing now." He nodded. "Hadn't you better get back to your date?"

I didn't want to get rid of Eric, but spending time with him would only make things more difficult.

"Sophie-Anne is a friend. We did have a brief thing a while back, but we realised we were better friends than lovers."

That surprised me. Eric had never been one to make friends out of the women he slept with before.

"Okay…" I paused for a moment. "You're here with Alcide and Hadley?"

He nodded. "Yes. But as I said, I did hit Alcide when I found out about him and Hadley. We've only become friends again in the last year or so. Out of the blue He asked me to be godfather to his son."

I felt my mouth open in shock. I hadn't known that Alcide and Hadley had kids together. He'd always told me that he didn't want them.

"You didn't know?" Eric seemed genuinely surprised.

"No."

"But Hadley is your cousin. Didn't your parents tell you?"

"No. Since the whole Alcide/Hadley thing, I haven't exactly been on good terms with my family. They completely took her side in everything."

"I am so, so sorry, Sookie." There was a genuine look of regret on his face.

"Not your fault. I don't blame you."

"You should."

"I don't. At least not now. Maybe I did a little when it first happened, but I understand what you've told me and I'm more than aware that Alcide and I had quite a few things wrong with our relationship."

"I think you're being very mature about it."

I scoffed to myself. "Trust me, I've had more than my fair share of tantrums over it, and I am sorely tempted right now to find Alcide and knee him in the bollocks."

Eric smiled at my use of English slang. He always said that it sounded weird coming out of my mouth even though my Louisiana accent had dissipated into 'generic American' according to him.

"I normally don't advocate such actions to any man, but I can see that you probably have a reason to do so." He paused for a moment. "Are you going to speak to him?"

"I probably should, but I'm not really sure this is the right place."

"You're probably right there. Why don't you meet him at my place – neutral territory and all?"

I shrugged. "That sounds like a good idea."

"Hadley as well?"

"That I'm not so sure about. I don't think I have anything that I want to say to her."

"That's up to you," he said supportively. He took my hand in his, and I tried my utmost not to think about the fact that he was touching me.

The one thing it did tell me was that I was still very much attracted to Eric. And where any romantic notions towards Alcide had long gone out of the window, I still felt things for Eric.

I didn't say anything, but focused on the feel of his hand as he gently ran his thumb over the back of my hand. But Amelia, of course, chose that moment to ruin things as Eric let go of my hand.

"What's going on?" she demanded, obviously unaware of what was going on between us.

I stood up. "We talked. It seems that Alcide and Hadley are here as well, so I think that I'm going to head off."

"You don't have to leave," Eric protested.

"I probably should. Amelia, can you please get my bag and coat, I'm going to grab a taxi home." She gave me a long look before doing as I asked.

"Give me your number. I'll text you mine and we can arrange a time to meet up."

I did as he asked and watched him programme the numbers into his phone. When Amelia handed me my stuff I thanked her and headed for the door. Eric walked me out and stood in the cold for a moment as we came to a halt.

"Wouldyouletmetakeyouout?" he asked quickly so that I almost had to unjumble the words to grasp at what he was saying.

"What?" I had heard what he said, but I wasn't quite sure if he meant what I hoped he meant.

He took a deep breath. "Will you let me take you out," he said more slowly. "Just you and me."

"Like a date?" I asked nervously.

He nodded. "Yes. Like a date."

For a brief moment I allowed myself to be caught up in the notion that Eric and I could actually have something together. Sure, it would be difficult considering Alcide, but we'd already admitted to each other that we'd had feelings for each other in the past, even if I did find it very hard to believe on Eric's part.

"Are you going to answer?" he asked when I hadn't responded to him.

"Yes."

"Yes you'll answer?"

"No, yes I'd like to go out with you."

He smiled. "Good. I'll text you and we can arrange a time."

"Sure," I said smiling back at him. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek before I hailed a cab to head home.

.

Eric and I had spent a week or so texting each other before my arranged meeting with Alcide the following weekend. Amelia hadn't been happy that I'd arranged to do this, and apparently neither had Hadley, but neither one was invited to our confrontation and that seemed for the best.

Amelia and Pam did, however, come over to my house to make sure that I was in the right outfit. I'd been more than happy to throw on a jeans and t-shirt combo, but apparently that wasn't the thing to wear to such an event. As if there was a dress code.

"Do you have it all planned?" Amelia asked me.

"Not really," I said with a shrug. "We both made mistakes, and I'm certain we wouldn't have lasted much longer even without me telling Eric what I felt about him."

"Yes," Amelia started, "but things changed when your bitch cousin turned up. And since Alcide had feelings for her, it means it's all his fault."

I shook my head. "I don't think it's that black and white. What I'm pissed off about is that he let me take the blame when it was probably as much his fault as mine."

Pam agreed with that. "And what of Eric?" she asked as she selected a pair of heels for me to wear. I was thinking the whole skirt and jumper thing was a little overboard, but I had to admit I looked damned good.

"I don't really know. We're going out tomorrow evening for a meal. I guess I'll just have to see what happens."

"But you like him?"

"Of course she still likes him," Amelia interrupted. "Eric is the reason that she hasn't moved on."

I scowled at Amelia, as she was the only one who was privy to that piece of information. "Really?" Pam asked.

"Pretty much" I admitted. "Which is stupid considering I haven't seen him for five years."

"If you'd have said something before I could've arranged it so that you 'accidentally' met up." Pam had a wicked smile on her face.

I had to admit that the thought had crossed my mind before now, but I didn't know what Eric's reaction would've been towards me. At least this time I knew that he certainly used to have feelings for me, and he was the one that asked me out.

"Nothing can be done now," I said philosophically. "Are you two going to let me go out now?"

Amelia stepped back and raised a critical eyebrow. "You'll do."

I shook my head and picked up my purse, coat and car keys to drive to Eric's place south of the river. Both Pam and Amelia wished me good luck as I climbed into my car, but I couldn't deny my nerves as I drove the twenty minutes or so to Eric's house.

"You look good," he whispered to me as he let me into the house. And he did as well in a tight-fitting black jumper and dark blue jeans. "Don't be nervous. If anything, Alcide is more nervous about this, and I'll be here."

"Thanks," I muttered to him as he took my coat.

I took a deep breath and walked on into the living room where Alcide was sitting waiting for me. He was dressed simply in a pair of blue jeans and a dark green t-shirt. And I had to admit that I felt nothing for him, which in many ways was a relief. I didn't need things complicated further by lusting after my ex-husband.

He stood up as I entered, but neither one of us said a word.

"Okay…" Eric said to break the silence. "Drinks?"

"No thanks," Alcide and I both said to him at the same time, but said no more.

Eric was looking between the pair of us and I caught him rolling his eyes. "Sookie, this is Alcide. Alcide, Sookie." He indicated between the two of us. "You guys were married for seven years before splitting up. Now discuss."

Eric was obviously injecting some humour in to try and ease the tension that had fallen on the room, but neither one of us reacted.

"One of you … say something?" Eric had an exasperated tone to his voice, and I probably spoke only to alleviate the pressure on him.

"Did you have feelings for Hadley before we split up?"

It was a little blunt, but I needed to get to the point, and this was the reason I was here for. Eric cursed softly under his breath while Alcide looked away from me and sat down heavily on the sofa.

"Did you?" I pressed.

He nodded, finally looking at me. "Yes, I did."

"Were you sleeping with her?" I defensively crossed my arms across my chest and stared down at him. Eric was hovering by my shoulder but remained quiet.

"No. I promise."

"Was there anything between you?"

I took a deep breath. "We had kissed two weeks before."

I somehow resisted throwing anything at him.

"But I felt so guilty, Sook. I had feelings for her that I couldn't understand, and I really didn't want to hurt you. She … she wanted us to sleep together, but I resisted." Somehow that didn't surprise me. Hadley was more of the slut than Alcide ever was. "I was so confused. I had these feelings for both of you, and I knew how hurt you would be if you found out about me kissing her."

"You're right, I would have been. But you let me take the blame for our breakup when you were more guilty than I was."

"Eric told me that you tried to kiss him. Is that any different?"

"That's not the point," I snapped back at him.

"You were in love with him. And thinking back, I think I could see it as well. I saw how your relationship changed with him, and even though nothing happened between you, I'm certain that if Eric had been willing you'd have kissed him or even more."

I gritted my teeth together in anger. "But I didn't. Luckily Eric isn't the whore Hadley is."

Alcide stood up to confront me.

"Don't you dare call her that," Alcide growled at me. Eric moved so that he was standing to the side of us, obviously ready to intercept if he had to.

"Well she is. She always was. And it is all her fault. If she hadn't come over we'd still be married!" I was yelling to the extent that Eric's neighbours could probably hear every word, but I wasn't concerned. It felt good to take my anger out on him.

I'd expected Alcide to argue back, but he didn't. "Would we?"

That caught me off guard, but I'd already said as much to Eric. "I don't think so," I finally said. "I don't think we would have lasted even without the complication of Eric and Hadley."

He let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry I let you take the fall, Sook. But I was so confused anyway at that time over what I felt for Hadley, so hearing what Eric said about you just made me flip. And I know that he only did it because he thought it would save us, but I'm not sure there was a marriage for us to save. Neither one of us would have looked elsewhere if we were completely happy."

"I loved you," I told him truthfully.

"And I loved you. It's why it hurt so much."

I raised an eyebrow. "You certainly didn't have any problems moving on."

He had the decency to look guilty. "Hadley … she stayed in the house after you moved out. I was hurting, but I still had feelings for her as well, which confused the hell out of me." He ran a hand through his hair, which was shorter than I had always liked it. "We took it slow. Yes, we got together, but it wasn't quick. The divorce was hard on me as well, and I was pretty depressed for a while. But Hadley supported me. She became the rock I needed and it made me love her all the more for it."

I couldn't stop the tears that sprang into my eyes. "I had no one," I sobbed gently. "I lost you – my husband – but I lost Eric as well." I didn't look to Eric, as I wasn't sure that I'd like what was on his face. "Even my own family seemed to side with Hadley over this."

I noticed that Alcide's eyes were on Eric, and I turned to meet his gaze. His blue eyes were full of sorrow. "I am sorry I betrayed you, Sookie. I'm sorry if you feel that I abandoned you."

"I don't blame you," I whispered to him. "I always knew I was the one who screwed up. But I really missed you."

"More than you missed me?" Alcide interjected.

I looked to him and sighed. "Eventually, yes."

Alcide took a step closer to me. "I want you to be happy, Sook. And I hope that Eric can be that man." I saw a surprised expression on his face as he watched Alcide and I.

"Really?" Eric asked.

"It probably won't be easy, but I'm happy with Hadley now. Just don't hurt her, okay?" I gave Alcide an incredulous look that he ignored. "I'm guessing things between you and Hadley probably aren't going to be that great, but I would like you to meet my sons."

Eric had already told me that Alcide and Hadley had two sons called Hunter and Remy, who were three years and eighteen months respectively.

"Give it time," I said to him. I wasn't ready to catch up yet with Hadley or become best friends with Alcide, but I was glad we'd had this talk and cleared the air between us.

"Will do." He leaned in and placed a kiss on my head. "Have fun tomorrow night," he said in recognition of my date with Eric.

I sank down onto the sofa as Eric showed Alcide out. I heard them speaking quietly to each other, but I didn't strain to hear what was being said. After a few minutes Eric closed the front door and joined me in the living room.

"How are you feeling?" Eric asked cautiously as he sat on the sofa next to me.

"I'm glad I met with him. It's cleared the air, I guess."

He nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. "I am sorry that I left you alone. I wasn't entirely sure that you would want to see me, as I was the one who told Alcide what you said. I kinda figured that you'd hate me."

"I couldn't hate you, Eric. And I don't blame you. I could have come to you if I'd been inclined to. I just found it easier to feel sorry for myself."

"Friends?" he asked holding a hand out to me.

"Friends," I agreed, shaking his hand before leaning my head on his shoulder.

"You're still up for tomorrow night?" he asked after a few minutes.

"Yes if you are."

"I'm looking forward to it," he said with a smile.

"Me too."

Neither one of us said anything for a few moments, but I could tell something was on Eric's mind. "In the duty of full disclosure, I should probably tell you something."

I sat up and looked at him. He looked a little nervous. "Okay…"

"Do you remember how I used to say I wanted to get more tattoos?"

"Yes," I said with a nod. Eric had quite a few tattoos when I'd known him, but he'd always said that he wanted full sleeves. "Did you?"

"Yeah. My arms, my back, my chest and sides …" he trailed off, although I wasn't quite sure why he was concerned.

"Why do you feel I wouldn't like it?"

He shrugged to himself. "I've been out with a few girls who were really put off by them."

"I'm not," I assured him.

"You don't know that," he said quietly.

"Show me."

He raised an eyebrow and met my gaze. When I didn't back down any he pulled his jumper off to reveal the best torso I'd seen since David Beckham's recent adverts. His muscles were corded and hard, but not over-bulging, and I couldn't stop my eyes from devouring the abdominal muscles of his stomach.

And the tattoos.

The tattoos were gorgeous. I wanted him to explain to me what each one meant, and I was almost desperate to touch them. I was definitely getting a little hot under the collar with him being shirtless, and I remembered all too well how much he used to affect me.

"You're drooling a little," he teased.

I finally managed to pull my eyes off his chest and met his eyes, which were sparkling with humour. He was obviously pleased with my reaction.

"It should be illegal for you to wear a shirt."

He lifted an eyebrow. "You're really okay with them then?"

I nodded, my eyes falling back to his torso again. "More than okay. I like them a lot." I met his eyes. "You have ones on your back?" He nodded. "Turn around."

He did as I asked, and this time I couldn't stop myself from running a finger over the large angel design he had on his back. It was truly incredible art.

"Sookie," he moaned to himself, and I withdrew my fingers from him.

"I have one myself," I told him, taking in his expression of surprise.

"Where?" he asked thickly.

"On my back."

He gave me a look. "Tell me it's not a tramp stamp."

I shook my head. "No, it's not. I got it not long after I split from Alcide. I knew he always hated them, so it seemed like the right thing to do."

Eric had a heated look in his eyes. "Show me."

I nodded before pulling off my own jumped and turning away from him. My tattoo went the whole length of my spine and was a pale green rose vine with small blue roses blooming every few centimetres. I felt Eric's finger run down the length of it, and I shuddered at his touch.

"Face me, Sookie," he breathed into my neck, and I did as we asked.

He intensely met my eyes for a few moments before running them down my neck and to my chest where his gaze lingered over my bra-clad breasts. I was glad that I'd taken Amelia's advice and worn one of my nicer sets of lingerie.

"Beautiful," he whispered. "I always knew they would be."

"Thought about them often?" I teased trying to lighten the mood.

"More often than I care to admit." He slowly moved his hands forward and ran his thumbs over both nipples, the lacy material of my bra making his touch feel delicious.

"Fuck," I moaned, shutting my eyes.

"Christ, Sookie. I have to stop this or I'm not going to be held accountable for fucking you right now on this sofa."

I was a little shocked at the harshness of his words, but they really got me hot under the collar. I met his heated gaze, almost daring him to do just that.

"Don't Sookie. Not unless you really mean it, and although I would give about anything for you right now, the sane part of my brain is telling me we should at least try and take this a little slower."

I knew he had a point, and I somehow managed to pull my jumper back on. "I know you're right, although most of my body is disagreeing with you." I moved in to snuggle into Eric's chest before he pulled his own shirt back on. He wrapped his arm around me and held me tight as my fingers danced over his skin.

"I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes," he told me.

"Me too. Where do you think we'll be in five years' time?"

He took a deep breath and thought for a moment. "Hopefully here, with you by my side a few blonde haired kids running around."

I met his eyes. "I hope so." I leaned in and placed a gentle kiss of his lips. "I should probably go."

He nodded. "That may best if you don't want to end up in my bed tonight."

"It's nothing to do with want, Eric."

"Go," he said with a lazy smile. "I'll pick you up tomorrow night."

"Sure thing."

.

And yes, I was so imagining Mr Beckham's torso and tattoos. Just yum.

;)