This one-shot is a response to the Cheeky Monkeys "Love Potion Number 9" challenge set forth by Epiphany sola Gatia. The premise is that the main character of the story passes by an old Riviani woman peddling "the key to your heart's deepest desire." Seemingly compelled by a strange force, the character buys the potion. This is the story of smarty pants Valerie Hawke and what happened when she came across this strange tincture. Heads up for some language and NSFW activities! ;)

Huge thanks to beta guru Suilven for turning her speedy beta eye on this. Your suggestions are always spot on!

"Maker's hairy nutsack, Varric. This is embarrassingly painful."

Varric looked across the table to where Valerie Hawke sat, her chin resting in her hand as she watched Aveline stammer and fidget nervously at a nearby table within the main room of The Hanged Man. The object of her failed flirting, Guardsman Donnic, sat across from her, a dark brow raised in questioning. Val shook her head slowly, picking up her tankard of ale and taking a long draw from the vessel. Aveline's forced and nervous laughter reached their table, where Val snorted loudly at the sound.

"You are not helping the situation by staring and snickering at them, mage."

Val looked across the table to Fenris, favoring him with a seething glare. Of all the companions she had met in her years in Kirkwall, Fenris was as irritating as a an infected boil on her ass. Fenris hated all things magic and Val could slightly understand why. Being kept as a magister's slave and having had lyrium implanted under his skin could not have been a ringing endorsement for mages everywhere. Still, just because she thought the Templar Order was full up on crazy did not mean all the individual templars were crazy and that she should hate them all for it. Keran was a nice young man and Emeric seemed to have a decent head on his shoulders. She did not paint all templars with a broad brush, unlike that mage-phobic Fenris who saw all mages as magisters waiting to happen. He found me 'competent' enough to chase after Hadriana… and didn't even give me so much as a thank you!

Val sneered at Fenris and took another draw from her tankard. "Bastard," she whispered into the mug.

"What did you say?"

Smiling amiably, she batted her eyelashes at Fenris. "Nothing," she said, her voice artificially sweet. She saw Varric roll his eyes from where he sat beside her, no doubt wondering if he would once again have to play the peacemaker between them.

Val looked up as she heard Donnic make a hasty excuse to leave, dropping several coins on the table before standing and wrapping his cloak around his shoulders. Aveline watched him leave, a pained look on her face. Or she could just be passing gas.

After a moment staring into her lap, Aveline looked across tavern to where her companions sat. Val shrugged her shoulders, trying to put a sympathetic look on her face. She really did like Aveline and watching her fail so miserably at trying to woo Donnic made her feel bad for her friend. Maybe I can help somehow… well, other than that cockamamie idea she has about getting him alone on patrol. I'm so not doing that.

"This isn't working," Aveline said, her voice miserable and defeated sounding as she flopped down into a chair next to Val. "I need to get him alone, not in a place—" She waved her hands to indicate the tavern around them. "—like this."

"And just what is wrong with this place?" Varric asked, his face an expression of feigned shock. "It has a quaint charm."

"About as charming as tattooed elves," Val muttered onto her nearly empty tankard of ale. She heard Fenris scoff angrily from across the table.

Aveline did not seem to notice the exchange. "I knew I should have just scheduled a patrol together. Hawke, you'll still help me make the patrol safe, won't you?"

Val sighed, lifting her tankard to take a drink and scowled when she discovered it was empty. She sighed in resignation. "Can we try this one more time, Aveline? I just don't think a patrol is necessarily... romantic."

"And this place is?"

"Varric seems to think so."

I know so," Varric said, his index finger lovingly stroking his tankard. "There's been true love discovered here before."

Aveline snorted, a sarcastic sound to Val's ears. "True love? Between who? That slut Isabela and any barfly here?"

"I heard that," Isabela called out from the bar, throwing back a shot of whiskey. "I'm not a slut; I'm monogamously challenged. I like to be well rounded."

"More like 'passed around,'" Aveline said, her voice a low mutter. "It's no wonder she needs to visit Anders' clinic on a regular basis. She has more crabs than a crabbing boat." Aveline stood and sighed heavily, pulling on her cloak and fastening it closed. "I'll see you all later."

"Let me escort you to Hightown," Fenris said, standing and moving toward the door. Aveline nodded glumly. Val found herself surprised by Aveline's response. Normally, the Captain of the Guard would have bristled at such an offer, but it was clear she did not wish to be alone. Val waved to Aveline—while pointedly ignoring Fenris—and turned her attention to Varric. Her friend watched Aveline and Fenris go with a trouble expression on his face.

"She's just can't do it, Hawke. It's too sad to even watch."

"I know, Varric. But what are we to do? Go with that ridiculous plan to clear the roads on the Wounded Coast so that Aveline can try to woo Donnic on patrol?"

"It's a better plan than when she had you give him those ridiculous copper marigolds. You know you will."

"Yeah, the key word there is 'you.' And by 'you,' you mean 'me.' If I have to go down, you're going with me, Varric."

"Hawke, you wound me. Would you torture your best friend in such a way?"

"Absolutely." Val stood and grabbed her own cloak, fastening the clasp around her neck and pulling the hood up onto her head. Varric was looking at her expectantly, one brow raised in silent questioning. Val sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes. "All right, Varric. I'll think about Aveline's request. No promises."

Varric grinned, the corner of his mouth ticking upward. "You know you'll feel good about it. As much as you bitch about these things, you really do enjoy helping people."

"You'll remember to put that in your story, won't you?"

"You got it, Hawke. You'll be nothing less than a goddess by the time I'm done."

Val pulled her cloak tighter around her as she stepped out into the night, the breeze coming in off the Waking Sea gently rippling her hair and causing goose bumps to bloom on her skin. She began the walk toward Hightown, wanting to get home as soon as possible. All she wanted to do was pick a good book out of the library and curl up on her bed with a glass of wine.

"Messere Hawke?"

Stopping abruptly, Val turned to the raspy voice that called out her name from amongst the emptying stalls of the marketplace. At the last, small stall sat a woman wrapped with a threadbare, yet colorful shawl around her shoulders. Her hair was covered by a long silk scarf and one golden hoop earring hung from a wrinkled ear. As Val approached, she caught the conflicting scents of herbs and spices around the woman; only an alchemist would have so many conflicting odors about them. Her stomach rolled as the clashing odors assaulted her nose.

"Can I help you?" Val brought a hand up to her lips, pressing two fingers against them as she willed her rebellious stomach to quiet itself. Throwing up all over the peddler was definitely not polite.

"Perhaps I can help you, Messere."

Val felt her eyes narrowing suspiciously at the old woman and her raspy voice. This day just keeps getting better and better. She began to turn away from the old woman, intent on resuming her journey to Hightown. "Whatever you're peddling, madam, I'm not interested."

"Not even if I have the key to your heart's deepest desire? The desire you have longed for so much it aches?"

Val caught herself before she could snicker out loud. What type of snake oil peddler is this? However, before she could turn away once more, she felt a sudden curiosity bloom inside her. It became harder and harder to listen to the voice inside her that just wanted to go home.

As she met the old woman's rheumy eyes, she saw the peddler pull a small glass vial from under the stall. It was a delicate vial of hand blown glass with a dark cork stopper and a curious pink liquid sloshing inside. Val felt herself being pulled toward the tincture, the pink liquid almost glowing and holding her mesmerized.

"What is that?" Val asked, reaching out and tentatively brushing the glass with a finger. The vial was warm to the touch and sent little tingling ripples up her arm.

The old woman cackled low in her throat, a gruff but strangely sensual sound. "One gold sovereign, and your heart's desire will be yours. A small price to pay for love, no?"

Val watched the liquid inside, hearing its beguiling call. Without even a second thought, she pulled the coin from her pouch, dropping it into the crone's withered hand. With a grunt of satisfaction, the woman placed the vial into Val's palm and wrapped her fingers around it.

"A few drops into your beverage and your unrequited love's. The potion will wake your desires in you, calling out to the other. You won't be sorry, Messere."

Val turned, still mesmerized by the vail in her hand, and continued her journey toward Hightown. Before rounding the next corner, she turned back toward the strange old woman and her stall.

The old woman lifted a withered hand in a saucy wave. Her cackling reached Val's ears, snapping her out of her trance.

Did I just get taken? Maker's hairy nutsack, I probably just bought some cheap rose water. But, hey, it wouldn't hurt to try it.

"Varric! I have the solution to our little Aveline problem."

Varric looked up from where he was lovingly polishing Bianca, bringing out the crossbow's warm yet deadly glow. "What's this about it being our problem? Aveline asked you to help her, Hawke."

Val yanked out a chair next to Varric and sat, placing the glass vial on the table and pointing a finger at her friend. "Listen, Varric. If I have to go out to the Wounded Coast on some harebrained scheme of Aveline's, then you're going with me. So, it behooves you to help me, unless you want to go watch Aveline make a complete ass of herself again."

Varric's gaze went from Val to the vial in her hand. After a moment of contemplation, Val watched her friend's face seemingly fall in resignation.

"Norah!" Varric called out, motioning the server toward them with his hand. As she approached Varric's private table, Val heard him mutter under his breath. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"What can I do for you, Messere Varric?"

Varric nodded toward Val, who picked up the vial and showed it to Norah. "The rest of our friends are going to be here shortly. When they arrive, I need you to put a few drops of this liquid into the tankards meant for Guard Captain Aveline and Guardsman Donnic… " As Norah's face began to pinch questioningly, Val reached into her pocket and withdrew a gold sovereign. Maker's balls, this is getting expensive, but if it gets me out of going to the Wounded Coast on a half-baked scheme, it's worth it. Val placed the sovereign in Norah's other hand. "… and no questions."

A bright smile crossed Norah's face and she nodded emphatically, quickly stashing the vial into a pocket in her apron and tucking the gold sovereign into her cleavage. "I understand completely, Messere Hawke. I'll go get ready for your guests."

As Norah bounded away with a new spring in her step, Varric shook his head. "I hope you know what you're doing, Hawke."

"Of course I do," Val smiled, relieved that her troubles with Aveline's embarrassing love life would be soon behind her. "This is going to save us a lot of trouble, Varric. I just know it."

Where is that tart, Norah? This is getting to be too fucking painful to watch.

Val grimaced and brought a hand to the bridge of her nose, pinching it slightly at Aveline's latest gaffe toward Donnic. To his credit, the guard simply took another draw of his tankard and Val could swear she saw a pink blush stain his cheeks. She felt a kick to her shin under the table and looked next to her to see Anders rolling his eyes as he lifted his tankard to his lips. "How much longer do we have to endure this?" he muttered quietly as he took a long draw of ale. Across the table, Fenris glared at them both, no doubt disapproving of not only of their conversation, but of their very presence. Even Isabela was cringing at Aveline's profound ineptitude.

"Norah!" Varric called out, his voice carrying a hint of exasperation "Bring another round of drinks. Quickly."

The silence between the companions was profound and uncomfortable. Fingers tapped on tankards and nervous looks were exchanged between the companions as Aveline's face grew a deeper and deeper shade of pink. Anders cleared his throat awkwardly, turning his attention toward Donnic in an effort to keep him from leaving before Aveline could end this travesty by winning him over. "So, Donnic. Nice weather we're having in Kirkwall, eh?"

Before Donnic could answer, Norah arrived with a tray full of tankards, setting it down on the table with a light thud. Foam sloshed over the rims, running slowly down the sides. Val caught Norah's eye and the server gave her a quick and knowing wink. At least Norah didn't water the ale down today; it was probably a safeguard to mask whatever taste the liquid in the vial may have held.

"Thank you, Norah," Val said, picking up her tankard and taking a long draw. The liquid was blessedly cool as it slid down her throat, damping down the heat of embarrassment she felt from Aveline's awkward flirting.

"You're very welcome, Messere Hawke," Norah said, smiling at Val before returning with the empty tray to the bar area.

Val took another drink of her ale, delighting in the simple joy of her beverage. Conversations started again as Varric began to tell a tale of his Uncle Emmet and his pack of rat terriers that played diamondback every week.

Val laughed as Varric moved on to the tale of the first time he had found out that her dog, Fang, knew the basic rules of diamondback and had challenged the Mabari to a game. As her laughter died away, she felt a growing heat inside her. She picked up her tankard and took a long sip of the ale inside. The warmth within her grew in strength. Wow, the ale is packing a punch tonight. I must have a lower tolerance for it than I thought.

As she set her ale down, she glanced across the table to where Fenris sat, his hands tightly gripping his own tankard. Val could have sworn she saw a slight ripple of light travel along his lyrium tattoos. The others likely would not have caught it; being a mage, Val was sensitive to the presence and feel of lyrium. Since Fenris had pure lyrium tattooed into his skin, she could usually sense when the markings were becoming active.

An elbow gently poked her in the side. Val turned to see Anders looking down at her. He flicked his eyes quickly toward Fenris and back again. "What's up with him?"

Val shrugged, feeling the heat within her grow with each small flicker of Fenris' tattoos. "Beats me. Probably brooding over something."

Anders returned to his tankard, shrugging slightly. He laughed as Varric brought out a diamondback deck and moved to the other end of the table to sit near Aveline, Donnic, and Isabela. As he began to deal out the cards, Val felt a sudden rush of need flow through her, filling her with a decadent heat and a tingling in her core. The urge to touch herself and relieve the sudden tension was nearly overwhelming. She picked up her tankard to drain the last of the contents and froze as it came to her lips.

Fenris was staring at her, watching her every movement with darkened desire in his eyes. The heat in her core intensified under his powerful gaze. As she watched, his lyrium tattoos flickered once again. Turning her attention back to Aveline and Donnic, she saw them both grinning as they began betting on their diamondback hands. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary between them.

Val felt her stomach suddenly drop as she remembered the words of the old crone in the marketplace. "A few drops into your beverage and your unrequited love's. The potion will wake your desires in you, calling out to the other. You won't be sorry, Messere."

Val was suddenly feeling very, very sorry. Oh shit. That stupid bitch! I have to get out of here. I can't… no… not with that brooding asshole…

Standing slowly, Val said hasty goodbyes to her companions, seeking to put as much distance between her and Fenris as she possibly could in the shortest amount of time. She saw the strange looks of her companions, but did not hesitate long enough to allow them the time to ask awkward questions. She quickly made for the tavern door, fighting the urge to seek out Norah and shoot lightning at her. It was what she deserved for totally fucking this up, but it would have to wait until she was feeling more like herself.

The streets of Lowtown were dark and nearly deserted, something Val was instantly grateful for as she stepped out into the night air. She knew the quickest way back to Hightown was through several alleys and while she normally would not travel them alone at night, the heat and now the incessant throbbing of lust through her body compromised her decision making abilities. She tried to bring forth the words to a rejuvenation spell, but whatever was in the potion rendered her spell ineffective. Shitdamnfuck! She knew the best thing to do would be to get back to her estate before attempting to cast the spell again. Of course, she could always take care of the decadent heat by touching herself. That sounded like the better option.

Suddenly, her arm was grabbed from behind. Val found herself slammed up against the stone wall of the building next to her, her head thumping painfully on the hard surface. Before she could protest, a mouth pressed itself against hers, a tongue pushing past her lips to graze her own. The heat in her blood sang in response and she found herself powerless to stop kissing back. She could sense a bright light from behind her closed eyes. Slowly opening them, she quickly broke the passionate kiss as she saw the source of the light.

The light was from the brightly glowing and pulsing lyrium tattoos of Fenris.

"I have no idea why, but I cannot stop thinking of you, mage," Fenris said, his voice a low growl as he brushed his teeth along the skin of Val's neck. He bit down hard and she knew she would have a deep bruise there by sunrise. While her stomach roiled in revulsion from his touch, her body cried out for him.

"Fenris…" she said, her voice a deep and throaty moan. She placed her hands on his shoulders and tried to push him away. He easily countered and pressed himself against her, growling in his need. Against her own will, Val found herself rubbing and grinding her hips against his growing hardness.

"Fenris, no, you're not yourself. You have to… oh, don't stop…" Val gasped and groaned in want as Fenris' hand cupped her, his thumb rubbing and pressing into her trousers just above the spot that begged for attention. She ground herself into his hand, bending her head to run her tongue along the lyrium vein that snaked its way up his neck near his ear.

Fenris looked around, seeing a nearby door leading into the building they had pressed themselves against. A lock held the door shut but with a surge of power, Fenris pulled the lock free and threw it aside. He pushed the door open, pulling Val in behind him.

It was a small warehouse they found themselves in, rows of large crates stacked neatly along the walls. With a quick motion, Fenris pulled away her cloak and picked Val up, depositing her on the edge of the nearest large crate. He grasped the collar of her tunic, pulling the cloth away with a great tearing sound. Val ran her hands through Fenris' white hair, groaning with lust as he pulled away her breast band and firmly suckled her left breast while squeezing the right in his hand. The lyrium veins pulsed rapidly, sending shocks of pleasure through Val's body. Against all rational thought, she thrust her breast deeper into Fenris' mouth, using her hands to keep his face pressed tightly to her skin. She pulled at his hair as he firmly bit the raised nipple, causing her to moan with lustful pleasure.

As if possessing a mind of their own, Val's hands soon moved from Fenris' hair to the buckles of his breastplate, yanking them free so that the plates could fall to the floor with a loud clatter. Fenris pushed Val back onto the crate, climbing up to loom over her.

"Fenris, there's something you need to know," Val gasped as Fenris ground his hips into hers. She responded by arching upward, wiggling her hips against his erection.

"What, mage?" Fenris said through gritted teeth. He leaned forward and bit at the lobe of Val's ear and gasped as she firmly raked her nails down his bare skin. She could feel the welts blooming under her touch and his heart beating firmly under his flesh. Hers quickly matched it, their bodies responding as one.

"I think we're the unwitting victims of a love potion." She raised her mouth to the flesh of his collarbone, biting down hard enough to break the skin. Warm blood teased the tip of her tongue. What rational part of her mind remained screamed at her to stop, that she hated this man and he hated her, but she was powerless to stop herself. The raging heat of the potion muddied her mind so that all that remained were lust and desire.

"So, that explains this," Fenris said, his lips once more finding the skin of her neck and biting down hard. His sharp teeth broke open her skin and she felt the warm trickle of blood flow, a contrast to the chill of the warehouse around them. "This is the last thing I had ever thought I would do with you. Did you bewitch the potion with your magic, mage?"

Val reached down and found the ties to Fenris' trousers, loosening them so that she could snake a hand down the front and grasp his throbbing erection. She squeezed it hard, eliciting a groan of pain and pleasure from him. "Malum meretrix," Fenris said as he humped against Val's gasping hand. "Your evil magic has brought this shame upon us."

"It wasn't magic, you stupid elf," Val said, her voice a growl as she continued to massage and squeeze Fenris' erection. She was not sure what it was that made the potion work like it did. It might have been some sort of magic or simply advanced knowledge of alchemical processes. Either way, Val was not about to let Fenris think this was entirely her fault. "It wasn't my magic. It was simply… oh don't stop… alchemy!"

Fenris slid down Val's body, grasping the waist of her simple trousers and yanking them down her hips. His short yet sharp nails dug grooves into her skin, causing her to hiss in pain. When she was naked before him, he likewise yanked his own trousers down, exposing the true extent of the lyrium markings on his flesh. Had Val not been lost in her own lust, she would have found the extent of his markings curious and likely answering the long standing question she had of "How far do those markings go?"

With lithe grace, Fenris climbed back up onto the box, his tongue drawing a line up from the cleft between her legs, over her taut stomach, and around each of her pebbled nipples. Val writhed beneath him, grasping him by the hair and attempting to pull him down toward her nub. It throbbed with an almost insatiable need. She needed Fenris to touch it, to bring the release that would break the hold of the potion flowing inside them…

She gasped as Fenris' hands wrapped around her neck and tightened, cutting off most of her breath. She released his hair and grasped his hands, clawing at them as she tried to pull them away. The wetness between her increased, nearly running down her thighs as the want and desire grew even more intense. She bucked beneath him, seeking to find her release by rubbing her cleft against his hard cock.

"This is your fault, mage. I will not give you that pleasure." Fenris released her throat, placing his hands on her shoulders and sliding her further up the box they lay on. She groaned and growled as splinters entered her flesh. She opened her mouth to protest, but Fenris clapped a hand tightly over it, the lyrium tattoos pulsing brightly. Val felt her mana fade somewhat; not drained, but somehow negated. "If we must endure the madness this potion has brought upon us, let us do it quickly and be done with it. I will take no pleasure from this, and certainly none from you."

Val reached up and slapped Fenris, the crack of her hand against his skin loud in the air around them. His skin immediately began to redden where her hand had met his flesh. She yanked the hand covering her mouth away. "Fucking bastard. Go fuck yourself, slave."

Snarling at the insult, Fenris thrust himself into Val in a single, brutal stroke. "Unfortunately, I have to fuck you to break the hold." He thrust inside her deeply, each stroke stronger than the last. Val writhed beneath him, bucking into his strokes and moaning in pleasure despite her anger for the elf. She raked her nails across his chest, raising welts on both flesh and lyrium as he groaned above her. Resting her fingers on a lyrium mark, she discovered she could channel some magic into them and sent small arcs of lightning through him. She tilted her head back and chuckled as Fenris hissed and twitched in pain. His thrusting began to quicken in earnest as the magic flowed through him. Val placed a hand between them, finding her pulsing nub and allowing the motion of Fenris' body to move her hand. She gasped at the ripples of pleasure that raced through her.

Fenris, impossibly, increased his pace, his thrusts causing the splinters in Val's back to dig in even deeper. For a fleeting moment, she wondered how she would explain them to whoever she decided would be the one to remove them. It would most likely be Anders and Val knew she would have to steel herself for whatever grousing Anders would do about her and Fenris… doing whatever this was. Shit, I can't tell him about this! I can't tell anyone about this!

"Fenris," Val gasped, moving her hands down his body to grasp one firm buttock in each hand. She squeezed them in her hands, not minding the firmness of his muscles or how he groaned lustfully above her. "We need to keep this between us. No one can know about… this."

"For once, mage, I am in complete agreement," Fenris said, his voice breathless. Val felt the first twitches of her climax beginning and quickly removed one of her hands to touch her nub again. At the first touch, she came loudly, her voice echoing through the walls of the dark warehouse around them.

With a guttural growl, Fenris climaxed a moment later, pumping inside her the last few times as the shivers ran through his body and caused his tattoos to flare brightly. After a moment spent catching his breath, he quickly slid out of Val and onto the floor next to the crate. Val felt the raging desire of the potion quickly fade, sated by the completion of their coupling. Replacing the decadent lust was a feeling of profound tiredness, as if she had run all the way up to the peak of Sundermount at a dead sprint. Fenris likewise looked spent and weary from their ordeal. Finally able to cast a rejuvenation spell, she allowed the warm magic to course over both her and Fenris

Surprisingly, Fenris held a hand out to Val, helping her to sit up and move to the edge of the crate. She nodded her thanks as he held out her breastband and the tattered remains of her tunic.

"I… apologize for your tunic."

Val snickered slightly, pulling the breastband in place first and ragged remnants of her tunic second. She tied the laces as best she could, but there were still large tears and gaps leaving broad swaths of her flesh exposed. "It's just a tunic," she said, shrugging lightly. The splinters in her back pulled uncomfortably on her skin, causing her to wince slightly.

Fenris frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I… have splinters in my back," Val said, smirking slightly. "From… you know…"

With a gentle hand, Fenris turned Val around and cautiously lifted her shirt before removing the splinters from her skin. After several moments, Fenris declared the job done and pulled Val's shirt down and back into place.

"You should have your back looked at, just to make sure they are all out," Fenris said. "I suppose you will have to tell the abomination what happened here if you seek out his services."

"Are you fucking kidding?" Val said, gently moving herself off of the crate to finish dressing herself. "I'll tell him I got jumped on my way home."

"He will admonish you for traveling alone."

"I know he will, Fenris, but it's a small price to pay to keep this little affair between us. Varric will ultimately suspect it, but he does have a modicum of discretion."

"Well, I for one will not be confirming any wild theories he may have on why we both left so early this night."

Val laughed at Fenris' words, shaking her head slightly. "For once, I am in complete agreement," she said, echoing his words from several minutes before. They might never be friends, but perhaps their shared ordeal would bring some sort of new understanding.

"This is all your fault, mage."

Or not.

"Malum meretrix" is Latin for "evil whore."