Disclaimer: I do not own either Young Justice or its related characters. Such are the property of DC Comics, Warner Bros. Entertainment and Cartoon Network. I'm just borrowing them for some non-profit entertainment.

(A/N: This is for the 'Den Mother' challenge by Orangevbnin in the Challenge and Requests forum. More details can be found here: http:/ forum. fanfiction. net/topic/ 86355/57004824/ 1/#57029697 …)

Scouting: Den Mother

"Okay, everyone, its that time again! Lets draw straws."

A loud choir of groans and grumbles rose-up to fill the Watchtower's main bridge, it reverberated off the walls and high cathedral windows, continuing to echo long after the original speakers had quieted down. The Justice League of America, a fraternity of the noble and virtuous heroes on the planet Earth all lined up to draw straws for the most physically and mentally taxing mission any single hero could perform… Acting as 'Den Mother' to the Young Justice team!

"And no X-ray vision! That's cheating." A pointed look at the Superman. "And so is using your magic." A sideways glance at Zatara. "Trying to read my mind to figure out which straw to choose." His eyes locked with J'onn's for the briefest of moments. "Or using super-speed to try each straw without my notice." The Bat-glare he fixed on flash could have curdled milk had the speedster been paying attention and not preoccupied stuffing his face.

One by one, Earth's greatest heroes pulled a straw from the Batman's black-gloved hand; their eyes squeezed shut in apprehension. When all straws had been chosen and the Dark Knight's hand was empty they all slowly and with great hesitation opened their hands and peeked at the lot they'd drawn. As per usual, the Watchtower was filled with the sound of one great gusty sigh, as all members of the League breathed out their relief… All but one.

The air of relief that had begun settling over the bridge was shattered by a loud venomous swear as the one whom had drawn the short straw registered his lot. Very loud, angry swears, completely incomprehensible swears, alien swears –kryptonian swears!

All eyes on the Watchtower turned to stare at the Superman.

"Anyone wanna trade?"

…

"I'm stirring up trouble with the Level 3 Doctor Dumm!" Robin pulled a monster card from his hand and threw it down on the table.

"Crap! This is for the winning level!" Wally shouted more loudly than was necessary. They couldn't let Robin win! He pulled a card from his hand. "Ha! You Old Mentor Gone Mad! Plus ten to level of monster. That's brings it up to effective level thirteen."

"T'ch, I'm still beating it." The boy scoffed.

"I believe I can use this card to send in another monster." Kaldur hesitantly set down a Wondering Monster card along with the Level 12 Professor Polar, bringing the force Robin was fighting to an effective level of twenty-five.

"Crap!" Exclaimed Boy Wonder. He looked down at the cards he had in play. "I use my power of Bond by Talking About Sports to force you to help me!" He thrust a finger at Wally and discarded three cards from his hand to use the power.

"What? But I don't-"

"The card says you have to!"

The rest of the Team turned their attention to their own hands to try and find a way to prevent Robin from reaching level ten and winning the game.

"Hey…" Conner ventured, unsure. "Does KF still have to help him if he louses his power?"

"I guess not." Robin admitted with a shrug. "But powers can't be stolen, you need a curse or a trap to get rid of them."

"Can I play this?" Conner pulled a card out of his deck and placed it in front of the Boy Wonder. Trap! Creeptonite; Lose a Power.

It was then that the Cave's computer announced, "Recognize: Batman 02, Recognize: Superman 01"

"Supey, how could you of all people use Creeptonite on me!" Whined the Wonder Boy.

"What!"

Six heads turned to see the pair of mentors (well, the mentor and other Leaguer) standing in the doorway that separated the zetta-hanger from the common area. Batman looked as though he were trying to hold back a grin, it wouldn't do for the ever-stoic Dark Knight to crack a smile. The Superman, however, twitched with mingled confusion and concern. He focused a very unBoy Scout like glare at the Superboy.

"It's a game." Artemis said by way of explanation.

"You're playing a game that has kryptonite!" Horror, abject, undiluted horror.

"No, 'Creeptonite'." M'gann levitated the card over to the Man of Steel to read.

"That's not how you spell 'kryptonite'."

Five faces fell into five palms as the Team minus the Superboy groaned with exasperation. The Superboy, however, blinked in disbelieving awe that the Superman, the Man of Steel, the Man of Tomorrow, the Last Son of Krypton had said something so… goofy. It was a rather disorienting, and just a tad scary.

"Superman will be this week's Den Mother." The Batman announced, commanding everyone's attention.

…

It was one of those lazy-kind of Saturdays. Ya know, the ones that just seem to crawl by at a snail's pace with nothing fun to do or interesting going on.

Conner lounged on the couch in front of the TV, staring blankly at the static on the screen. M'gann was stretched out next to him, he head in his lap. She flipped through the pages of a Pratchett novel without reading a word or it. Robin was doing stretches off in a corner where no one would trip over him. Wally was camped out in the kitchen, inhaling everything in the pantry and refrigerator. Artemis had her arrows laid out on the living room coffee table but wasn't doing any sort of work on them. Kaldur sat in a chair in what looked like the posture of meditation, of course, he could just as easily been asleep.

This was how Clark found the kids when he reentered the living area after bidding good-bye to Batman by the zetta-tubes.

"Why are you all laying about in here?" Asked the country-raised American Alien. "You're missing the best part of the day!"

The kids all groaned.

"Gawd! You sound like my mother." Kid Flash said through a mouthful of Snickers bar. He swallowed before continuing. "I spend almost all my time outside either at school or catching bad-guys with my uncle. I think I'm entitled to spend some time indoors every now and again."

There was a round of nods all agreeing with the young speedster to some degree or another.

Wally then came around to join M'gann and Conner on the couch, the martian girl sitting up to make room for him. "Hey, Supey, can we have the TV? I wanna see if the new Torchwood episodes are on Netflix yet."

The Superboy gave a shrug and passed the remotes to the Kid Flash.

"So, you're just gonna sit here and watch TV all day?" Clark was affronted. If he had ever tried to do that when he was their age Ma would have dragged him out by the ear and found something useful for him to do.

"Pretty much." Robin said as he stretched both feet strait out in front of him and reached out to touch his toes. "We mostly just hang-out until Bats comes by with a mission."

"But there's so much stuff to do outside!" The Superman insisted. "Don't you want to go down to the beach? Or hike around some of the trails on the mountain, or-"

"Oh my gosh, its true. You are a boy scout!" Artemis scoffed.

"We are not stopping you from doing any of those things, if that is what you wish to do, Superman." Aqualad looked up from his meditative posture. "It is not necessary for you to hover over us at all times. Our previous den mothers kept a moderate amount to themselves."

…

Clark turned the heat down on his gravy to a low simmer, double checked the chicken to make sure it was done and covered the mashed potatoes and collared greens to keep them hot.

"Okay, who's setting the table?" He called from the kitchen.

"What?" Six pairs of eyes blinked at him from the living room.

"Dinner's ready." He said by way of explanation.

"You cooked for us!" Wally exclaimed in disbelief.

They all exchanged looks. None of their other den mothers had ever cooked for them, trusting them to feed themselves when they got hungry and not schedule meal times and assigning place settings.

"Well, yeah." The Superman said in much the same way someone would confirm that water is wet.

Again, the Team exchanged a look. This was weird. He was acting more like a baby-sitter rather than an adult whom was just supposed to be 'on-call' in the event that a senior Leaguer, or just someone over the age of eighteen, was needed.

A pregnant silence filled the Cave as the Team stared at the Superman and the Superman stood with his hands on his hips (mimicking a pose Ma Kent had employed on more than one occasion when dealing with both him and his friends) waiting for one of them to get up and start setting the table. If none of them volunteered in the next two minuets he'd just have to assign the task to someone.

"I…" It was Conner who broke the awkward silence. "I wanna try Superman's cooking."

Clark suppressed the urge to cringe. Superboy was not the volunteer he would have chosen. "Alright, then you can be the one to set the table."

…

The Team knew that their rooms were equipped with intercoms, but they had never thought much about them until first morning that Superman spent with them as their den mother. The ear-splitting and obnoxiously offensive sound of a triangle rent the air and shocked the six members of the Young Justice Team out of their pleasant dreams.

"Ugh… did he bring that here from Kansas…?" Robin groaned into his pillow, refusing to get up. Clark should know that he, like his mentor, was a 'creature of the night'.

While in Artemis' room, the thunderous clanging of the triangle caused her to tumble out of bed in a disoriented stupor. When she did come to her sense, the fem fatal archer glared up at the Cave's intercom and muttered, "Why does he hate us?"

Wally groaned and burrowed under his blankets, covering his ears with his pillow. He suddenly felt like he was back at summer camp. Next thing they knew, Superman was going to be making them weave baskets and make swaps. Damn, dorky Boy Scout!

Kaldur had jumped out of bed at the sound and quickly made his bed, showered and changed and stood at attention at the foot of his bed for a moment before he remembered that he was in the Young Justice Cave not a barracks of the Atlantian military. There was no petty officer coming to inspect his quarters and he could relax.

Conenr had already been awake for several hours prior to Superman's ear-piercing wake-up call. However, M'gann whom had still been sleeping with her head pillowed on his shoulder jerked awake suddenly, smacking the Superboy in the face as she did so.

"Wha's goin' on?" She slurred sleepily.

As if to answer her question, the clamoring clanging of the triangle stopped and was replaced instead with the voice of the Man of Steel. "Rise and shine!" He called over the intercom with a chipper energy that should be outlawed so early in the morning. "Breakfast is waiting. Anyone who's not dressed and ready to start the day by the time I come around to inspect your rooms gets first shift of KP duty."

Robin snarled. Bruce would hear about this, he could keep the Superman in check.

Artemis' intercom died with a green-fletched arrow imbedded through its speaker.

Wally was up and dressed; his bed made and room passably clear (not 'clean', just 'clear') before the Superman had even switched off the mic.

Kaldur tied with the speedster as the first two sitting at the island for breakfast.

"What's KP duty?" M'gann asked. Thanks to his Cadmus programming, Conner usually had the answers to everything.

"I have no idea." The Superboy confessed. "But, M'gann, remember that campfire we all had way back when, when I said I had been thinking of killing Superman?"

"Yeah…?"

"I'm revisiting those thoughts now."

The martian girl pursed her lips into a single thin line before saying, "I'll be your alliby."

…