Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.

Castle had saved her from a gunshot before, but this time was different.

They hadn't been expecting anyone when they went back to the crime scene to see if they had missed something. The door of the apartment was still locked, nothing looked out of place. Beckett had been inspecting the contents of a bookshelf and trying to come up with a theory that would make sense when suddenly Castle barreled into her, knocking her to the floor behind a convenient couch, just as a shot rang out.

She had struggled up from under him and grabbed her gun, trying to determine the location of the shooter. Five minutes later she managed to hit him, and had him on the ground in cuffs.

Proud, she allowed herself the opportunity to flash Castle a victory smile. The smile froze on her lips. Castle was sitting where she had left him, behind the couch, with his head in his hands. He was shaking from head to toe. After making sure the shooter was secure, she walked over and kneeled down in front of him.

Unsure of herself, she put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey," she said.

He slowly raised his head.

When his eyes met hers she flinched. His warm blue eyes that usually held such laughter and love were now full of cold terror. His shaking got worse as his eyes darted from her face to different points beside and behind her.

"Castle? Hey… hey Castle, it's me. It's Beckett. What's wrong?" Kate let her eyes wander over his body, checking for signs of injury. He didn't appear to be hurt.

"Castle?"

He continued to shake, and squeezed his eyes shut, his breathing quick and erratic.

"Rick," she said, more softly, "Rick, open your eyes."

Castle opened his eyes again, this time doing a better job of focusing on her face.

"Rick, you need to calm down. Just breathe. You're fine. I'm fine. I'm right here." She put a hand on his face, caressing his cheek in soothing motions, and allowing her other hand to gently rub his arm.

She continued to speak soothingly and slowly, and Castle's breathing slowed. Some of the terror left his eyes, replaced by exhaustion.

When Kate felt he might be doing better, she took his hands in hers and drew him to a standing position. She knew they only had a minute or two before the backup she had called for would get there, and she felt that whatever had just happened was probably not something he would want to deal with in public.

"Castle?" She said, still watching him carefully.

He sighed. "Yes?"

"We're going to have company very soon, but I will be right here if you need me, ok? Stay close. And then I'm going to take you home."

Castle just nodded, too tired to argue. Kate was worried. For her writer to be so quiet just seemed… wrong. She heard commotion coming from outside and knew the backup had arrived.

Castle stood out of the way while Kate talked to the officers and helped put the shooter in custody. Apparently he was also the guy that shot their vic, but Castle couldn't make himself pay attention to the details. He couldn't even remember what connection the guy had to the case.

He watched Kate as she moved around the room, taking care of business and answering questions in her no-nonsense detective voice. Every now and then an image would flash in front of his eyes: Kate, bleeding. Kate, her eyes closing. Kate, gasping for breath. Castle shook his head and tried to focus on the Kate in front of him. Alive, breathing, competent. Eventually she finished and headed back to him.

"You ready to get out of here?" She asked, looking tentatively at him. He knew she was uncertain and concerned. He could tell he had really shaken her. He tried to come up with something to say to ease her concern, but he just didn't have the energy to pretend. He couldn't rebuild his defenses fast enough to act like he was fine.

He settled on answering her question. "Yeah."

They got into the crown vic and Kate took him to his apartment. Neither of them spoke during the drive. When they got there, Kate took a deep breath and looked at him. Castle felt himself close off. He didn't want to have this conversation right now – couldn't have this conversation right now. Kate seemed to sense his wariness.

"Castle, are Martha and Alexis home?"

"No. Martha's on a girls' trip with some of her old friends and Alexis decided that was a good idea and scheduled a girls' weekend for herself." Castle felt relieved to know he wouldn't have to face his family. They would know immediately that something was wrong.

Castle got out of the car and tried to give Kate a reassuring smile. "Sorry about today. I'm just… tired. I'm going to go get some sleep." He didn't even give her a chance to protest before he left her there and headed up to his apartment.

Kate sat in the car staring at Castle's retreating form for a few minutes before making a decision. She didn't know what had just happened, but she wasn't going to let her partner… her friend… go home alone when he was so obviously hurting.

She parked the car and waved to the doorman before heading up to Castle's loft. She stood a moment in front of the door to gather her courage, and then knocked.

When he didn't answer, she knocked again.

On the third knock, Castle opened the door, but just a foot, blocking the entrance to the apartment with his body. He seemed unsurprised to see her. They stared at each other a moment, neither saying anything.

"Can I come in?"

Castle sighed and leaned forward until his forehead was resting on the doorjamb, closing his eyes.

"I don't know if that is a good idea, Kate."

"Why not?"

Castle didn't answer.

"Look, Castle," Kate paused, wondering what to say. She decided to go with honesty, "I don't think you should be alone right now. I'm not sure what's going on, but please let me at least keep you company for a while."

Castle didn't answer, didn't invite her in, but left the door open as he walked away.

Taking a deep breath, Kate followed him in and closed the door behind her.

This if the first time I have ever published my fan fiction. The story continues and I would be thrilled to keep posting if anyone is interested. Best, AD.