Three Against Three Thousand - Final Part.

The audio was off -Fury really didn't need to hear it a second time- while salvaged black and white security footage played on a flat screen on the wall. Most of Niveus' interior had been reduced to barely recognizable slag. SHIELD's experts claimed that the fire had started in the labs, of which there wasn't even a petrie dish left, and spread from there. Surprisingly, a handful of pharmaceutical company's night shift had appeared in the local hospital emergency room. Unsurprisingly, none of them could explain how they had gotten there.

The last thing most of them remembered were the alarms going off, and sick, half-sane laughter. One of them kept apologizing every time someone tried to get close to him, and had to be restrained to prevent him scrubbing at skin he had already washed to a blistered, tender rawness.

Nick Fury mused on cultural differences as the door opened to admit his go-between with the Avengers. Phil Coulson had his mask in place, a pleasantly blank expression that hid everything but oozed competence. Not even the slaughter on the television got so much as an 'eww' out of him. "Sir."

Fury gestured for the agent to take a seat. He looked down at the various reports that had been coming in from his post-battle clean up crew. While it was true the fire raged in the labs and destroyed any and all samples, the techs had found some protected hard drives that had been stored separately. Fury briefly wondered if Niveus' president and CEO had been aware of their existence, but when a report came in reporting his death -found in the middle of a cultist symbol that his researches were already running through the databases- SHIELD's director decided he must have.

Fury tossed Coulson a medical report on what had been tentatively labeled as croatoan in the rescued disks. "Take a look. Seems Niveus wasn't exactly on the up and up."

Coulson's eyebrows lowered as he took in the abstract; he didn't care about the how or the why, but the what. "Is this possible?"

"I borrowed some of Stark's guys to run some simulations. It is entirely possible." He then gestured to the screen behind the agent, and Coulson turned to observe as the film began again from the start. Two men in lab coats where discussing something urgently, the hand gestures gave it away, and then a third walked in with a frown. Words where exchanged, a beaker brandished, and then the third guy laughed as his eyes filled with a pitch black smoke.

"Mutant?" Coulson inquired as the tape continued to show the black eyed man holding down one doctor and injecting him with something, then the other. The unknown then left the room, locking it, as the original two tried to regain their bearings. They pounded on the door for several minutes -Fury fast forwarded- but then started shaking and, turning on each other, made the small lab into their own Jackson Pollock canvas.

Niveus' duplicity didn't end there. More 'trial runs' had been recorded like prized snuff videos, interns had been reported disappeared because they 'couldn't handle the stress', and Fury had already conferred with the FBI and CIA to discover several whole towns who's populations had seemingly vanished overnight - coincidentally after receiving a shipment of free flu vaccinations.

It made one think. It made Fury line up everything he knew about Thor's brother, and Thor himself, from mythological tales to the opinions of psychological profilers.

Thor claimed Loki was dangerous, unstable, and lied like others breathed. He had manipulated events to get Thor banished -never mind that it was entirely Thor's idea to go to another sovereign nation and cause a diplomatic incident- taken control of his government, again manipulated events to justify his murder of the previously mentioned nation's ruler and triggered a WMD to wipe out the rival nation, which Thor had stopped. Then the mischief god capped it all off by staging his own death in such a way that no one, not even the supposed all-seeing celestial gatekeeper, thought he could survive.

It was rather beautiful, really, from an intelligence perspective.

Fury knew that Thor was nothing like his brother. The god of thunder -father being the god of berserkers- was a bruiser. A tank. He followed his heart and while generally in the right place, or at least where Fury wanted it, the Asgardian didn't think much beyond the basics. Jane Foster was working on that, though, as well as Steve Rogers.

Fury knew a lot more about the archetype of the Trickster: he had whole binders devoted to the subject. For one thing, you would be hard pressed to find a culture that didn't have them. For another, Tricksters weren't considered evil, and whatever anyone else claimed the vikings, at no point, classified Loki as evil. Mischievous. The last and most salient point: Tricksters existed to humble the prideful. They pricked egos. They taught painful -sometimes deadly- lessons. Even gods needed a reminder that they weren't infallible.

Thor getting his first born entitled ass kicked out of the house certainly fell into that category.

"Would you like me to inform Thor?" Coulson asked, closing the damning folder.

Fury leaned back in his chair and nodded.

From what he understood of Jotunhiem, not that Thor was very forthcoming, the two worlds had been at war off and on for over a thousand years. Almost all of Thor and Loki's lives, and after the enemy takes an opportunity to off your father/king... Fury didn't condone it, but he understood it. No one would say that Nagasaki and Hiroshima was the right thing to do, but at the time...

"And Coulson?" Fury asked as the agent paused in the doorway. "Make sure the Avengers know, if they see Loki they are not to engage. Report it in, but under no circumstances is there to be hostile action taken against him."

As the door closed, Fury let contentment fill him. If Asgard didn't want their spymaster, SHIELD would be more than happy to take him.

Tony cornered Thor outside the training room. Ever since having his hammer napped the god had thrown himself into sword drills and wrestling. Apparently Mjolnir going missing wasn't uncommon, and after the last time it happened papa Odin had done some magics meant to prevent such things. Which meant Thor was feeling all out of sorts and taking it out on the SHIELD agents.

Iron Man zeroed in on the god with smile that would send rabid mountain lions running for cover. "Thor, buddy!" The billionaire exclaimed as he wrapped an arm around the blonde and steered him toward a break room. "We have got to talk."

"Of what, Stark? You have made it quite clear proper training isn't something you enjoy."

Tony waved his hand as if clearing a bad smell from the air. Once they were safely in the break room, the Iron Man locked the door and crossed his arms with his smile still in place. Captain America and Black Widow were also in the room, sipping cocoa, as if they had been waiting. Thor smiled in greeting and turned to face Tony.

"You need to apologize to your sister." Tony stated.

Thor frowned. "I don't have a sister, Tony."

Steve sighed. "Loki, Thor, he means Loki."

A confused sort of understanding dawned. "Ah. You are mistaken, Iron Man. Though Loki has been known to tumble with warriors and give birth to horrors, he is my brother. Prone to moodiness and trickery, true, so I do not blame you for your mistake. His... performance at the Niveus Sorcerer's lair was most convincing."

Natasha huffed, looking thoughtful. "So he is the mother of a horse?"

Thor laughed. "Not Sleipnir, no, but a great monstrous snake and deadly wolf, yes. But you need not concern yourselves with them. My nephews are well in hand. Jormungandr was banished to Midgard long ago, patrolling your oceans and seas, while Fenris remains chained and incapable of harming others."

Tony's eyes lit with a dark gleam. "Can you give birth, Thor? Is it some quirk of Asgardian biology?"

"Never! I am a man, only women-folk can bring new life into the world. Surely you know this, is it not the same in Midgard?"

"And yet, Loki is your brother?"

"I have already said this, Stark." Thor growled as he began to get annoyed with the circles their conversation was taking.

Black Widow propped her chin in her hands and stared at Thor, fascinated. "Does he not hear the contradictions coming out of his mouth?"

Captain America Frowned. He stood up from his seat, and his cupcakes, and crossed the room to place his hands on Thor's shoulders. "I'm beginning to understand why your... brother... is so irritated with you. Thor. I say this as a friend and... and battle-brother. Buy Loki some flowers-"

"And chocolates! JARVIS said tricksters have a ridiculous sweet tooth!" Tony added helpfully.

"-and chocolates. Then say you're sorry. It doesn't matter what you think you've done. What matters is what Loki thinks. Trust me. I know women."

"Loki is a-"

"Don't say it!" Tony cut him off, marching forward, a man on a mission. "I don't care what sex Loki is or isn't. She can have babies, has great legs, and if those shape-shifting rumors are true can manifest breasts of any size. So that's good enough for me. You will apologize, grovel if you have to, and once you've kissed and made up you are going to introduce me to your sister."

Thor didn't know what to say to that, so he nodded quietly.

"Loki!" Gabriel shouted cheerily as he bounced into his Parisian sitting room. The Norse god of Mischief -capital M- was spread out on a couch that matched his outfit. He looked up over the tips of yellow-tinted glasses and arched an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"Presents!"

Loki tensed. "Who would be sending me tribute? And how do they know I'm here?"

Gabriel waved off his concerns. "They don't. They just sent them to one of your temples in the Old Country. I stopped by to pick them up when the priest was trying to figure out if it was appropriate to burn electronics for celestial sending."

Loki accepted the flowers with confusion, but remembered to conjure a vase, and smiled at the chocolate. He ripped off the wrapping and moaned as the bitter sweetness hit his tongue. Not quite as good as Gabriel's theobroma, but close. Very close. "Who sent it?"

"...your brother," Loki scowled, but didn't stop eating the candy.

"What's this, then?" The god asked after fishing out a small metal contraption from a sea of tissue paper. It was green and gold, with a flat plastic screen and had runes artfully inscribed along the edges. With a flash it turned on, and Loki began poking at the buttons interestedly.

"Hmm. Looks like a Starkphone, but smaller. And personalized."

"It seems that one 'Tony Stark - Iron Man' is already in the directory. Speed dial one." Loki said with amusement. "As well as 'Steve Rogers - Captain America', 'Bruce - Green Rage Monster' and 'Nick Motherfucking Fury'. Do you know these people?"

"Yeah. Fury is your Thor's boss, Bruce is the ogre you were flirting with in Canada, Rogers is the man you buried in jello, and Stark is the one that fell over when you accused Thor of having retractable genitalia."

"..."

"I know, right?"

"Cas?" Dean asked hesitantly as his libido sat up and took notice. The Black Widow popped into Bobby's living room, only it couldn't be the notorious Avenger because this Widow was wearing a long tan trench coat and expression that was all angel. "Uh, did you go shopping for a new vessel?"

The widow blinked, then her eyes widened comically. "No, my apologies." Eyes closed in concentration, and Dean relaxed as the female form melted to reveal a familiar man. "I forgot to slip the glamour."

"So..."

"Yes?"

"Why were you a girl?"

Castiel blushed and fidgeted. Dean shook his head and headed for the kitchen. He needed a beer. At least it promised to be an interesting story.

End Part Three.

Note: This is it! No more! The 'verse is finished!