Chapter Six - Pair of Ones

Spelunking

When the rest of the Sins hear Wrath's plans to explore Hogwarts system of pipes, the reactions are... mixed. Lust and Envy, both already part of the plan, have no reason to disagree. Gluttony, having been informed of the purpose of the exploration by Lust, followed Lust's lead. Pride, on the other hand, is the most vocal and vehement in his refusal, as he will not go anywhere near the (probably) filthy pipes.

The Greeds, on the other hand, disagree for a different reason. After all, someone had to be a distraction. Pride readily agrees with them, and co-opts the decision from Sloth, who was dead to the world.

Maladroit

The Greeds kickstart Christmas by locking everyone in the Great Hall during breakfast.

Once the teachers finally get the doors open, the pranking really begins. As each person walks through the doors, some aspect of their appearance changes. For some, it is hair or skin colour, or the addition of extra limbs or eyes. For others, it is more animal in nature, such as McGonagall being forced into a human sized version of her animagus form.

From there, it is a free-for-all.

Going up the certain staircases removes the changes, but others trigger any number of outlandish pranks. Entering any of the Common Rooms brings back any of the changes that disappeared along the way. Of course, everything disappears when victims leave the Common Rooms.

By the time lunch rolls around, everyone is holed up in their Common Rooms hoping that they can avoid any more pranks as the house-elves deliver thankfully prank-free food. This continues till dinner, when everyone hesitantly leaves in hopes of a peaceful Christmas dinner, as the elves, bribed by the Greeds, refuse to deliver.

Pythia

Meanwhile, Wrath is leading his "expedition" down into the pipes in the middle of Myrtle's bathroom. It should probably disturb him, the fact that Envy is looking so incredibly gleeful at the thought of meeting a gigantic snake that could kill with a glance, but Envy's obsession with snakes has long since stopped bothering him. (And he's definitely not thinking about how deeply disturbing it is that the entrance was in a girl's loo.)

Besides, it's not like anyone says a word when he pauses to admire (salivate over) the shed skin.

Eventually, the quartet reaches the end of the tunnel, stopping short of the miniature lake to stare up at a gigantic stone head. They stand there for a few seconds, before Envy takes an extra step forward and says something in parseltongue. Something that, for all Wrath knew, could have been "Here snakey-snakey-snakey." (It wasn't, but still.)

Of course, Wrath can't deny the shiver of dread that creeps down his spine when Envy throws his arms around the snake and practically screams, "She's my new best friend!" (Later, when he learns that the other Sins had felt it as well, he feels justified in telling them the Wizarding World was screwed. Well, at least more so than it had been before.)

Profit

The rest of the winter holidays were spent doing business. Namely, expanding their ventures in modernizing the Wizarding World, which they had largely been ignoring.

While Envy did spend a considerable amount of time with his "pet" snake, he and Gluttony still managed to put some time towards making various muggle electronics work with magic using runic arrays. The Greeds were concurrently expanding their mail-order catalogue for the pranks they personally made, and began looking into setting up a real store.

Wrath, Lust, and Pride, on the other hand, were doing what Pride called a deep cleaning of the Chamber, which pleased all parties involved. Pride, because he could throw cleaning spells with wild abandonment. Lust, because she had free reign with decorating the Chamber. And Wrath was happy because he was able to explore and acquire two more shed skins, several fangs that had also been shed, and crowningly, a book in Parseltongue that was written by a Slytherin that he was coercing Envy into translating.

To finish off the holiday, the further humiliation of Lockhart was planned. And Dobby, in his first truly useful attempt on Envy's health, managed to splash Basilisk venom on the dairy, and although it stains Wrath's desk even darker with its inky blood, all of the Sins are happy to see the half dissolved diary.

AN: Ah, pets, what would we do without them? Also, a couple of snake references, let me know if you find them! (Prize: Free cyber cookies!)

On a different note, sorry for the lateness? Before you kill me, two things to keep in mind. One, my computer died. Two, this story doesn't really have a guiding idea or even a general plot, besides following the books. But that's not really original.

Plus, the entire thing didn't want to be written. And it's not like anyone's been begging me to continue it, so...

Still, here it is! A nice shiny and new chapter! I hope everyone like it, and please don't forget to review!

~Ja ne!