This is part 2 of the Ultimate War. If you have not read part one go back and do that, otherwise you will be very confused. If you have not read the Island War READ THAT FIRST! You can ignore the Tyrant Uprising, that is somewhere else.
The blast had left nothing more than a giant crater where the base was. Nothing was living for miles, well, there wasn't plant life. I lived, so did the worms down there who were beginning to continue battling. Let me try that again, the blast created by the prototype being shot resulted in a huge purple explosion, killing everything except sentient beings, only plants, fungus, protists, and bacteria died.
"Why are they continuing the assault," yelled Sigurn, "There is no more base to take over!"
"I don't know," answered Einstein, "But continue to fend them off, we still have something to deal with!"
"What would that be?" Sigurn yelled back.
"The explosion engulfed two humans who are now worms! At least the prototype was successful!"
"Well what are they doing now?"
"They are temporarily incapacitated!"
"In other words they are passed out."
"Bingo."
"We can't hold up for much longer," announced Zribly.
"And we're out of Teleports of any kind," shouted Einstein above the din.
"Screw that, I hope everyone has their Tuberculosis shots," bellowed Sigurn. Suddenly Sigurn, Einstein, Zribly, and the two ex-humans disappeared.
Precisely 13.789735 seconds later, at the Medical bay in the Science Laboratory.
"What is Turbe-colossal?" Zribly asked.
"Tuberculosis," Sigurn corrected, "A tubercle forming disease that normally affects the lungs."
"Ha, I don't have lungs! I breathe through my antennae," Zribly cheered.
"Hello! Einstein here," Einstein announced over the intercom, "I need 4 Medical Scientists, 3 French nurses, 2 Turtle shells, and a partridge with its pear tree at the Medical Bay this instant!"
"What's all that for," asked Sigurn.
"The medical scientists are for tying down and treating the humans. The French nurses are polyglots, just in case the humans don't speak the same language. The turtle shells are good for holding medical tools, the turtle has been removed, of course. And the partridge is an attack bird, it doesn't go anywhere without its pear tree," answered Einstein in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Why French though?"
"It keeps the patients happy, that way they recover faster."
"Doctor Einstein," one of the Medical Scientists started.
"You're not a Doctor," interrupted Sigurn.
"Yes I am, I have a Doctorate in Psychology, Cheese-making, Cooking, Felinology, and of course, Medical Science," Einstein answered.
"The patients should wake up in two hours."
"Thank you, now I am going to take a nap," announced Einstein, who passed out on the floor moments later.
Wake up! Another Medical Scientist is coming!
"What!"
"Doctor Einstein, one of the patients woke up."
"Already," he roared, "Fine! Sigurn, Zribly, come with!"
"Actually, I must be somewhere," answered Zribly.
"Where!"
"Um, somewhere besides here."
"Fine! Go, see if I care!"
So they went into the room. One moment, I will make that sentence more exciting, if I can find my Thesaurus. Crap, um, please wait while we present these messages.
Intermission
Please begin listening to the Organ music from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
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Never mind, that sentence is going to have to remain boring.
"So you woke up," pointed out Einstein.
"Yes," answered the human, he had a British accent, "Now I would really appreciate it if you would untie me."
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Worms have died because I wouldn't untie them, why should I untie a human?"
"Who are you calling human? I was also going to ask about that, why don't you look human? Last I checked I was on Earth, and I don't know of a time-frame that the Earth was overrun by giant, squishy, pink things."
"The Earth is overrun by giant, squishy pink things right now. They are called humans."
"Don't let my companion catch you saying that. She would become very angry. But if Humans are still on Earth then why don't they know about you?"
"The answer is staring you in the face, literally and metaphorically."
"I still don't understand."
Think about what he said!
"Who said that?"
"That would be our narrator," answered Einstein.
"You have a narrator? Oh, how could I have been such an idiot! I don't look like a human anymore, well, at least to everyone else."
"Now look at your fellow human. Someone get my prototype smelling salt-like thing."
"Hey, don't use an untested device on her or else you will answer to me!"
"And what would you do? Don't worry, it has been tested, this one is safe, it either will work or it won't, her internal organs will not explode."
"Well that sure fills me with a lot of optimism. And who's that menacing fellow behind you, is he just in case I escape?"
"He is just here to listen to this interrogation."
"This is an interrogation?"
"Yes, and now your partner is coming around. Hello, my name is Einstein, not Albert, and who would you be?" She didn't seem to hear him.
"Where am I," she asked in a daze, she also held a British accent, and then started to come to very quickly, "Where am I? Why am I tied up? Doctor!"
Immediately after yelling that, about thirty people in the room said, "Yes?"
"Einstein, you forgot to mention the fact that 83.5783% of the worms here have some Doctorate or another," Sigurn pointed out.
"Thank you for reminding me. 83.5783% of my scientists in this room have some Doctorate or another," Einstein told the male human.
"Thanks, I heard. Rose, calm down I'm here," the human said.
"Where are we? Why do you look like that? Why do I look like this," the human known as "Rose" asked.
"Three questions I do not know the answer to."
"Hey," interrupted Einstein, "How is it that you can speak English?"
"I was actually going to ask you the same question."
"We learned when we were living closer to humans."
*Crash*
Suddenly there was a loud crash.
"I heard the crash Norwegian narrator," yelled Einstein.
Well the people reading this didn't.
"Why do you call the narrator that," asked the ex-human.
"We don't know or care to learn his name so we just refer to narrators by their accent," answered Einstein, "Sigurn, what was that?"
"Mutain got loose," answered Sigurn.
"Ah! The giant mutant worm! Quick, get the Giant Mutant Worm Containment Squad!" (GMWCS)
"Why don't we call it the Giant Mutant Worm Containment Worm? The "squad" consists of Rhubarb," queried Sigurn.
"I really hope that Rhubarb isn't a plant," said the human.
Suddenly Sigurn swung a sword. It was a katana, he swung it outwards and cut the ropes off the humans.
"Follow Einstein, I am going to get Rhubarb."
Suddenly the loudspeakers started blaring.
Code Cyan. I repeat, Code Cyan. Avoid the Simulation Room.
"Code Cyan?" asked Rose.
"Our color code for Escaped Giant Mutant Worm," answered Einstein.
"So where are you taking us to," asked the human.
"The Simulation Room."
"Are you crazy," shouted Rose, "Isn't that the place they told us to avoid?"
"You are right, they did tell us to avoid that, but I am the Head Scientist and I am Clinically Insane. Besides, we'll be watching from the one way glass."
"You better not get us killed."
"Even if I do what could you do about it? Behold, the one-way glass! The mutant shouldn't see us and we get to watch the GMWCS in action."
So they stood in front of the glass watching. Still not very exciting, where is my thesaurus? Anyway, the Giant Mutant Worm just stood in the center doing nothing in particular, which is not very threatening, then Rhubarb squirmed into the room armed with a potato and a Kopis sword. The mutant worm then went on a rampage, throwing chairs, tables, staplers, tape dispensers, pez dispensers, shurikens, throwing knives, tomahawks, soda cans, beer cans, paper airplanes, clocks, light fixtures, scientists, party balloons, snow-plows, snow mobiles, snow balls, snow, hail, rain, pokemon, llamas, alpacas, Holy Hand Grenades, scythes, popcorn, caramel corn, candy corn, corn-on-the-cob, Emperors, Empresses, Dictators, psychopaths, Psychopath, fishing lures, fishing poles, fishing line, fish, explosives, Christmas trees, footballs, football players, football fields, fezzes, me, the writer, an owl, and a telephone, none of which were in the room at the time. How he got a hold of them nobody knows. Rhubarb charged up to the worm, readied the Kopis, cut the potato, and threw it in its eyes (the potato slices, not the sword). Just to give you an idea just how big this mutant is Rhubarb is twice the size of a normal worm, Mutain is five times the size of Rhubarb. Mutain hit the ground with his fist, ran around in circles, grew a third arm, and hit Rhubarb. He went flying, crashed through four walls, and charged back. Rhubarb drew the Kopis and sliced off the extra arm. Mutain then grew seven more arms and uppercut Rhubarb, who then proceeded to enter low-earth orbit, he then stopped rampaging.
"Why don't you just leave him alone," asked Rose, "He doesn't seem to be that aggressive."
"I know," answered Einstein, "But he goes into a rampage if he sees anything move. That is why he stays perfectly still when he is alone. And even if he doesn't see anything move, he still goes crazy every ten minutes."
"What are we supposed to do now," asked the human, "the containment squad is gone."
"That's why we have a back-up containment squad," replied Einstein, "Amoeba should be here any moment."
About thirty seconds later the tiny little worm squirmed in.
"That's our last hope?" exclaimed Rose.
"No, we still have Sigurn."
"Who is Sigurn again?"
"The big menacing fellow your friend saw behind me."
Anyway, Mutain was just about to go berserk when Amoeba gave a shrill whistle, in flew a murder of 63,481,634,512,645 crows. I think that would be called a mass-murder, an extermination, or maybe the Flock That Eliminates All Life Within 70,000 Square Miles. The crows flew in, attacked Mutain, then left. That was boring, the crows swooped into the Simulation Room and attacked Mutain. They tore off every single one of his excess limbs, including the extra head. It was like a group of air-piranhas, by the time Amoeba managed to call them off all of the skin had been removed from his body as well as most of the muscle and one organ.
"In all twenty years of having that mutant, we have never once needed Sigurn."
"Will it be all right," worried Rose.
"It'll be fine," answered Einstein, "in fact it will be up again in ten minutes. Get the scientists in there ASAP," He yelled the last sentence into his communicator.
"What about that Rhubarb fellow," asked the human.
"Right, um, wait a few seconds."
A few seconds later Rhubarb plummeted to the ground in a brilliant ball of fire. He crashed right in the center of the Simulation Room, leaving a huge crater.
"Rhubarb, you forgot your parachute," announced Einstein over the loudspeaker.
"I know! Stop bugging me about it," Rhubarb shouted back.
"Stop? I only just started."
"How is it that he's still alive," asked the human, "He just plummeted out of low-earth orbit."
"Ah, but this is Rhubarb, he once tried to cross a NASCAR track in a chicken suit during the race."
"What happened?"
"Seven of the cars hit him, he was not knocked over, the cars did get demolished though. Do not try anything that he does, only he and Blasted are capable of that, anyone else will probably get killed."
"Why is it called the Simulation Room," asked Rose.
"How about instead of explaining I show you. Sigurn," Einstein started yelling, "Looks like the Academy will be having their final test early!"
"I will go get them," Sigurn shouted back.
This class that is getting its test early consists of only twelve worms. The final test is a simulation death-match between two teams. The class is divided into two teams of six worms each, with the two worms that have the highest score in the class being leaders. The remaining ten worms separate themselves accordingly. The first two worms to get defeated in the simulation automatically fail the class and have to take it again. The first worm from each team to get defeated also suffers the same fate, and any worm defeated in less than a minute after the battle starts. The winning team is able to pardon one of their team members so they do not fail, while the losing team does not get that luxury. The losing team still does have worms pass, but only the ones that did not meet the above qualifications. The maximum amount of worms the losing team will have at the end is only five, while the maximum for the winning team can be six. It is possible for the losing team to have more worms pass than the winning team thanks to the "less than a minute" rule.
"Why do you teach everyone here to kill," asked the human.
"No one usually actually dies," answered Einstein, "Besides, we need to fend off the dictator."
"Have you tried compromising?"
"He beheaded someone for going .5 miles per hour over the speed limit, then had that worms friends drawn and quartered for, and I quote, 'Aiding and abetting a convicted terrorist.'"
"I still don't approve of your methods."
"Their here," announced Sigurn, who was now wearing a deerstalker cap.
You used the wrong they're Sigurn.
"Oh, put a sock in it."
No! I will not be silenced! I will come back from the gra-
"Do not start that or I shall set fire to your appendix."
No! I need that! It helps me find stuff in my thesaurus!
"I thought he was talking about something else," said the human to Rose.
"I was," said Sigurn.
No! Not my internal organ!
"Can we stop talking about Appendixes and Appendices and get on with the test!" yelled Einstein.
This is probably the most exciting test anyone will ever take."
"Anyway," Einstein began, "Open Fire-"
What? It's beginning already?
"No, I am saying the two with the highest scores. Open Fire, Hawk, you two have the highest scores in the class, you will be leading the teams. Okay, have the teams been decided, good. Now head to opposite sides of the Simulation Room. You know the rules, if you run out of health you will be teleported out automatically. You should all know how much health you each have."
Only in the Simulation Room does anyone have health. They base the amount of health on how many punches they can take from Blasted. Here is how it works; it is based on how many punches they can take before ending up in their gravestone. If they are punched once then end up in there they have 50 health in the Simulation Room. If they take one punch they have 100, as in they are punched once, live through it, are punched again, and die. If they take two they have 150, three 200, etcetera. It is increments of 50.
Einstein started speaking again, "Each team is given three random weapons, the landscape is generated randomly, and if your leader gives an order you listen. If you don't know how much health you have remaining look up towards the viewing station, above the one-way glass there is a giant screen television than lists all worms and their health, as well as if they are poisoned and the intensity of the poison. If you are wondering about that, it is so you can help poisoned team members. The teams are as follows, Red Team: Open Fire, Dinnerbell, Lemon, Eggtrotter, Silverfox, and Sputnik, the Russian foreign exchange student. Blue Team: Hawk, Tomb Junior (Tomb's brother), Ax, Heimdall, Loki, Odin. Now for the weapons, Red Team: Spear, Dragunov Sniper Rifle, Land Mine. Blue Team: Brass Knuckles, Sentry-Gun, EMP, luckily for you that does not stand for Electro-magnetic pulse, it means Emergency Missile Program. It activates automatically if you have half the worms the enemy does. It will launch three random missiles at the landscape. Now for the landscape, a large circular island with a very tall mountain in the center, surrounded by forest. Good luck." With that Einstein turned off the loudspeaker and turned to the humans, "This isn't just one-way glass, it is also a giant touch screen, using it we can view anywhere on the landscape, so where first?"
"First I would like you to explain why we are here," demanded the human.
"Simple, you were running along when someone shot my prototype worminator."
"What does that mean?"
"I was in the middle of a large battle and important mission carrying only that prototype when it was shot."
"What did it do?"
"It was meant to turn anything larger than, and different species, into a worm. Someone shot it and it exploded, turning you two into worms, at least it worked. What were you doing there anyway?"
"Investigating the reason for time falling apart, there were also random explosions."
"Those explosions were not random, they were deliberate, one was a cloning factory, and one was a Holy Hand Grenade."
"Why did we change without any side-effects," asked Rose.
"There were side-effects; however, we removed them before you woke. You should have seen your friend, he had a horrible heart attack, so bad it seemed as if he had two hearts."
"He does have two hearts."
"No, that's impossible. Gerald! Bring the X-rays!"
"Here they are sir," mumbled Gerald.
"This is impossible!" gasped Einstein.
"Not impossible, just highly-unlikely," said the human.
"Explain this," yelled Einstein.
"No need to yell, hello, I'm the Doctor."
"Okay, I am now going to act very confused. What! Doctor Who?"
"Just the Doctor."
"That explains why Rose yelled "Doctor!" earlier."
"Now would you please untie the cut ropes that are still on our arms."
"Gerald! Untie them!"
"But, Sir, they are not tied up," Gerald mumbled
"They have rope pieces on their arms!"
"That's much better," said the Doctor.
"Okay, Silverfox and Eggtrotter have failed, as well as Loki, it is passed the one minute mark so no more disqualifications, where to first."
"Can you believe this Rose? It is only the year 2012 and yet these worms are far more advanced than the humans are! Mostly weapon-wise but still."
"Not only weapons, I have a functioning Time-Machine."
"That's not possible, Time travel is years beyond the current technology!"
"Yes, but in case you haven't noticed we are years beyond the current human technology. Now who do you want to observe first?"
"Why do we have to watch them killing each other?"
"Because you wanted to know what the Simulation room does, besides, it helps you figure out who to annoy and who to stay far away from."
"Fine, how about the one with Open in his name."
"Open Fire? Sure."
Einstein did a bit of tampering with the glass and finally zoomed in on Open Fire. He was just standing around with a small circle around him. After just standing like that for about a minute he started yelling. "Hey! I am over here! Can someone help me? I'm trapped from a Sentry Gun!" Suddenly Tomb Jr., Ax, and Heimdall charge out from the bushes straight for Open Fire. Upon reaching the circle, Open Fire suddenly did a back flip and the circle exploded. All three were lying on the ground, dazed. Heimdall said the only words, "Damn land mines." As soon as he landed Open Fire finished them off with his spear and said, "Works every time." However, it was not without consequences as the EMP was just activated. The three missiles pummeled the landscape, leaving only Open Fire left alive on one side, and Hawk and Odin on the other. Open Fire moved to a different clearing, ready to pull the same charade as earlier, only as he strolled into this clearing he came face to face with Hawk, who then punched him over, ran a fair distance away, and placed a Sentry Gun. Now Open Fire was really trapped from a Sentry Gun. He deliberated for a few moments, and then decided to throw a spear at Hawk. Unfortunately, he really did not think this through because as soon as he reached for his spear a barrage of bullets straight out of the Sentry Gun assaulted him.
"Blue Team Wins!" Yelled Einstein, "Now do you want Loki to pass?"
"Sure, why not," answered Hawk.
"The entirety of Blue Team passes! Now go to the waiting boxes to wait to be recruited."
Suddenly the silly superior Sigurn shot into the space solely for the single-mindedness of searching for a solution to his subjective question.
"What is with the alliteration," shouted Sigurn.
That was not your inquiry was it?
"Of course not. Einstein! Why and how did they manage to put up a cloning factory in the middle of the Mainland?"
"Do I look like I know the answer to that question?" Einstein replied.
"You said yourself you know almost everything."
"The key word there is ALMOST! Besides, I sent out spies to find out."
"You do know they probably aren't coming back alive right? I mean, you're more likely to survive a Gryphon attack than a spying mission that involves those three."
"I know, anyway, I don't believe you three have been introduced," Einstein said while gesturing to the two humans, "Sigurn, this is the Doctor and Rose. Rose, Doctor, this is Sigurn."
"Pleased to meet you," said the Doctor amiably, "Alright then, would any of you care to explain why time is falling apart?"
"Now it is our turn to ignore your question," began Sigurn, "Wait… You are THE Doctor, last of the Time Lords?"
"Yep, that's me, how do you know that?"
"It's a long story-"
"I've got time, please tell."
"When I say 'It's a long story' that means I am not going to tell. So that really was your TARDIS in Utah."
"Utah? I don't recall ever being in Utah."
"Forget I said anything."
"Now would any of you care to explain why time is falling apart?"
"Okay, there is a very simple explanation. Me and two other worms are the only of us in the entire of reality, we exist in no other universe. We were gifted with special powers that belong to no one else. Tomb is incredibly strong, unbelievably strong, he is an unstoppable Physical Force. DragonFace has an amazing intellect, most of it untapped. They say the average worm uses 10% of their brain, he uses less than that, only 1%, and his intelligence is higher than that of Einstein, not Albert. He is an unstoppable Mental Force if he could use more of his brain. I can make anything with just the power of thought, I can appear anywhere at any time, I defy the laws of reality, in fact I can rewrite them-"
"No one should be given that much power," the Doctor interrupted.
"That's the thing, I shouldn't have this much power, I was- err, we were a fluke, an accident, a freak of nature. We were not supposed to happen. Reality was supposed to go on its merry way without ever being in mortal peril. But something happened in Reality that created us, maybe a chain reaction, maybe an accident, maybe something we cannot comprehend, whatever it was we aren't supposed to exist."
"So how is that causing Time to fall apart?"
"Actually we aren't the only flukes, we all had a twin who has our powers, but who is evil, an AntiSigurn if you will-"
"Why is it starting only now," the Doctor interrupted again.
"They were put to sleep the moment they were born-"
"How could they tell the difference?"
"Well they hit them, if they ceased to exist that one was put to sleep. They recently were awakened by, *Cough*, Joe Bananas. I know you're listening!"
"Am not- err, um," a voice came out of nowhere. Suddenly the bug exploded.
"Anyway, it will be 9 months before the universe implodes and then disappears. Einstein! Is the Dimensional Transport ready?"
"It needs three days, unfortunately they probably know about it so it needs to be guarded. It is at Crow Base 1."
"Okay Doctor, Rose, Let's go."
"What about my TARDIS?"
"We have absolutely no idea where it is, neither do you. Luckily the Dimensional Transport is capable of locating anything capable of traveling through time."
"So let me get this straight," interrupted Rose, "We are nameless kilometers away from the TARDIS, we have been turned into worms, Time and Space are falling apart, and we are supposed to wait around for several days with worms who claim they are all powerful." As if on cue Sigurn made a wall disappear.
"Okay you are all powerful," anxiety was creeping into her voice.
"Now it is time to defend the Dimensional Transport. To Crow Base 1! Oh, you might want to know that the winter there is 9 months long."
"Where is it? The South Pole?"
"Almost."
And that's a wrap, for this chapter at least. Sorry it took so long, my computer crashed repeatedly, I needed to get a new computer, and this one Doesn't have Microsoft Works Word Processer, so I am disgruntled. Sorry about the typo in chapter 1 of the Ultimate War: Part 1, where it says years instead of months, I meant to change that, but as I said before, my computer died, I was only able to save this chapter. So the Doctor and Rose are to accompany Sigurn to an eternal winter in order to guard the Dimensional Transport and locate the TARDIS. Now for the questions because I have nothing else to say.
Where did Sigurn learn to disappear?
Does anyone know any accents I haven't used?
Why are all the good worms so naïve?
Why did Psychopath accept them so readily?
Will they reach the DT on time?
Will the TARDIS be located?
Can the Evils be stopped!