A Wedding and Four Funerals

I was thinking about Four Weddings and a Funeral the other day, and I was just switching around the words when this idea popped into my head. Because I'm currently obsessing over Joker/Harley, and I couldn't resist making my thoughts become a reality.

So yeah. The title is a spin off the movie title.

The whole situation seemed all too familiar. The whole entire damn situation was a completely overwhelming sense of déjà vu.

The Joker sat across from his Harley. Except now she preferred to be called Harleen. Harley no longer existed. The thought made him shift uncomfortably in his seat as the uneasy silence between them grew.

"So." He stated. "You're all 'better'?"

"I've been better, Joker." She replied curtly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Joker?" he asked. "Where did 'puddin'' or 'Mistah J' go, huh?"

"They're with Harley." She responded, looking down at her hands.

The Joker giggled lightly. "Harl, you're not gone. You can't get rid of who you really are." He leaned forward. "You know? I know you. Harleen is a… a fake you."

"Stop it, Joker." She lifted her eyes and made eye contact with him, something she had not done for over a year. "Harley was a manipulated child. My name is Harleen Quinzel, and I refuse to listen to your nonsense. You do not know who I am, and you never will."

Leaning back, The Joker licked his lips lightly, scanning her for any signs of untruth. Harleen knew he would not find any. She was completely sure of herself.

"Then why are you here?" he asked. "It's been over a year since they let you out."

"About a year and a half." She nodded, looking down at her hands.

"So…" he said slowly and deliberately. "Why… are you here?"

Harleen wet her lips slowly. She'd taken on that same habit after spending a few months with The Joker. Old habits die hard, she supposed.

"I'm here… because I want to be rid of you forever." She replied, intentionally connecting their eyes. That way, he'd find not a single drop of doubt. "I don't want to get rid of 'who I really am'. I want to be rid of you."

The Joker clenched his teeth. "Y'know… Harley…"

"Harleen." She interrupted.

He raised his hands in defense. "Harleen, got it." Lowering his hands, he made eye contact with her again. "Harleen… you aren't making any sense." He smirked lightly. "If you wanna be rid of me… then why are you here?" He repeated slowly.

"To show you I'm not afraid of you." She answered. "That I am myself again, and there is no manipulation you can use anymore. I am no longer a slave to my feelings or my mind." Harleen lifted her chin high. "You do not control me, Joker. I control myself."

The Joker nodded knowingly. "Hm. Interesting concept." His tongue darted out and ran over his bottom lip. "But, uh… if that were true… then you wouldn't have to prove it to me…" He raised his eyebrows. "Harleen."

Her defense wavered. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for some kind of escape. In her mind, she repeated that he was wrong over and over again. She had to believe it herself before she could make him. "You're wrong." Harleen finally said. "I am my own person. You have no power over me anymore."

"Uh-huh… so… then, I'll say it again…" he smiled. "Why are you here?"

Again her control faded. She tensed her neck and her tongue ran across her top lip.

"Harleen?" he asked in a singsong voice. "Harley?"

"I'm getting married." Harleen snapped at him.

Never before had she seen The Joker caught off guard. But this time, she'd rendered him speechless. He didn't make any significant changes, but she knew him well enough to know the subtle things that he did.

Like how his smile froze upon his face, then faded slowly, so slow, that one had to be looking to see it wipe itself from his expression. Or how he slid his arms off the table and rested his fingertips on the edge of it. Also, his head tilted slightly to the side and pulled it back a bit.

Only she noticed these things. Her inner Harley noticed how her puddin' changed. But Harleen had moved passed that. Though one tiny part of her was screaming at the top of its lungs telling her to comfort him, the rest of her knew better.

"Marriage?" he questioned.

All Harleen did was stare at him. She no longer knew how to answer him. She didn't know how to tell him that she'd only come to see him one last time. That she knew how to let him go and move on with her normal life.

"Who's the guy?" he asked, the smile returning to his face. "Huh? Who is the lucky bastard that is marrying Harleen Quinzel? 'Cause we both know that Harley Quinn would never do something like that." He paused, searching her eyes for a trace of Harley. "She'd never leave her puddin', would she?"

Harleen shook her head. "No she wouldn't." She answered. "But I'm not Harley Quinn."

There was a silence that lasted as The Joker searched for some kind of sign for the old Harley that he'd come to know and control.

"I gotta go." Harleen said suddenly, standing up. "But uh… now you know."

The Joker let the guards take him out of the room. The very same room in which he had seduced a more naïve doctor, an entirely different person. It was the same room where they first became a part of the other. It would always amaze him that no one in the entire Asylum knew about that night. Harley was a doctor for a few more months after that, until she couldn't stand it anymore. This had suited The Joker just fine.

He wanted that Harley back.

xXx

"I told you doing this would be a bad idea." Doctor Jane Stevens said as Harley exited the room after The Joker had been escorted away. "I told you not to say anything about your engagement, too."

Harleen waved her off. "Don't worry about it." She told the doctor. "He's The Joker. He doesn't care about me, remember? Saying something about my engagement shouldn't matter."

Jane narrowed her eyes. "I still don't like it. But I suppose if there is damage done, it's been done. But if you doubt it, then I trust your judgment, Harleen."

Harleen took a deep breath. The Joker passed through one of the TV screens behind the doctor as he was taken through Arkham back to his cell. The look on his face frightened her. It was the face he used to make when Harley disappointed him or made him angry. The he made the face when Harley knew it was time to distance herself from him, or face it head on as he beat her.

She didn't tell this to her doctor. Jane Stevens had been Harley's doctor when she came back seeking help to get rid of The Joker and Harleen didn't want to worry the doctor with nonsense. The Joker was in the best place for him. There wasn't an escape for him this time. He had the most security out of any of the patient in Arkham. He wasn't getting out now.

Harleen and Doctor Jane walked to the outside of the building to say goodbye. "Hopefully I won't ever have to see you again in this place." Harleen said as she gave the doctor a final hug. "Thank you for everything, Jane."

"You take care of yourself, Harleen." Jane smiled.

"I will." Harleen replied sweetly. "I can now."

So… uh… I know this isn't very good. But I got this idea and stuff. It'll get better. It's not going to be like…a full out multi-chapter fic, but it'll be three or five chapters. A three-shot or a five-shot… It all depends on where my ideas take me.

This was mostly inspired by TheJokerBlogs. I actually got the idea about the "Wedding and Four Funerals" before I even thought about TheJokerBlogs, so it's not based off that. This'll be much different. I'm going to go a lot more into how The Joker feels about the situation and what goes on with Harley and said fiancée. I don't know for sure yet. I know where this is headed. It's just a matter of filling in the blanks.

So uh… yeah!

R&R! The second R makes Katie very happy!

Katie