AN: I was watching the Great Game the other night and this little quote came into my head. I think it expresses John and Sherlock's relationship quite well. I decided to write a fic based on it. Turned out more angsty than I intended but hopefully it works...

Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock Holmes. Unfortunately.

"They say that behind every great man is a good woman.

I suppose for the rest of humanity that's true.

But not in Sherlock's case.

Behind him is a good man, John Watson."

It's insanity. He is quite aware of that. But it doesn't stop him; he can't control what he feels.

He is in love with Sherlock Holmes. There is no denying that fact; not matter how desperately he wishes he could. But that is no what makes him think about getting a therapist. No the emotion that prompts that thought is not love, its jealousy.

Jealousy is normal of course, when the heart is involved. He's had experience with those burning claws in the pit of his stomach a time or two before. What bothers him about it now is the object of his jealousy.

You see he is jealous of a madman. A criminal mastermind. A heartless villain. Why? Because Sherlock is obsessed with him.

Whilst John obsesses over Sherlock; over his brilliance, over his sharp wit, over his porcelain skin and dark curls; Sherlock obsesses over Moriarty.

All his energy is focused on dancing with this brilliant madman. They are enraptured with each other and John; well he's just caught in the crossfire.

Just Sherlock's flatmate. He knows that he will never be anything more than an "errand boy" for Sherlock. Just doing research, retrieving evidence, sending texts and buying milk. Maybe an extra hand in a fight, when the occasion calls for it.

He knows however that to Sherlock he isn't really important.

Handy but dispensable. And that fact is slowly killing him. What's even worse is that fact that he can't walk away. He knows that he will never leave Sherlock; he just can't. Sometimes Sherlock will catch his eye and smile broadly as he pieces together the puzzle in a case; and sometimes John can pretend that Sherlock isn't just smiling at him but that Sherlock is smiling because of him. He lives for those moments.

Jokes and laughter shared at a crime scene are what gets him through the days when Sherlock won't stop rambling about Moriarty. Those days when he catches that hint of admiration in his voice as he goes on and on about him and his schemes.

His fan. His equal. Those days are when he really thinks he can't take it.

Those are the days when he nearly walks away from it all. But then something will stop him. He will realize Sherlock hasn't eaten in a week and will force a muffin down his throat. Or he will notice the dark circles under Sherlock's eyes telling him he hasn't slept in 5 or 6 days and force him to take a nap.

Or a case will appear and Sherlock will say "Come along John." and he does. He always does. He's not sure who or what is up there screwing around with him like this; it seems just as he's found the strength to say "Sherlock I'm leaving." something comes up and he realizes that Sherlock still needs him.

Whilst Moriarty provides him with entertainment John helps him cope in day to day life and with day to day people. He remembers when Sherlock told him "I'd be lost without my blogger." It's true he realizes. He doesn't know what Sherlock meant by it; may have been a thinly veiled apology for their earlier tiff or

maybe he really does realize what John does for him.

John isn't sure anymore, all he knows is that so long as Sherlock needs him he will be there. Because that's what love really is; even if it remains unrequited.

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