Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

It has been two months. Sorry about that but my muse went camping or something, because I sure as hell didn't find her for half the summer. The good news is that this chapter is pretty long and very much faberry.

Thanks Jaely, your review made me re-read the story and you are right, I pretty much overlooked Rachel's point of view. I tried to address it in this chapter. Let me know what you think about it.

Salacious Vixen I pretty much agree with you about them being even, as for Quinn being victimized, I think it seems that way because much of the story is told by her point of view.

Thank to all of you who left reviews, favorited this story, or are following it, it means much. And now the chapter:

Not ready

Chapter 20

The week had gone by so fast that Quinn could scarcely believe it was already Friday and Rachel and she were waiting to perform American Boy in front of the whole club.

The fact that they were waiting for their turn sitting next to each other was really proof of how much things had changed between them.

It had been and odd, beautiful, week really. Rachel and she had been practically inseparable. Like old times, only better.

They had had lunch together on Tuesday in the choir room, to rehearse their duet. They had ended simply talking for more than half their lunch hour even sharing Rachel's fruit salad that quite casually had peaches in it, Quinn's favorite fruit. Wednesday after Cheerios practice Quinn had gone to pick up Rachel from ballet and drove them at her house were they had spent the rest of the afternoon working on the song, with Quinn providing music accompaniment at her beloved piano. Last night Rachel had practically dragged her at her home so that they could "put some more practice in" after dinner. Not that she had put up that much resistance to the idea. Most of the night had been spent laughing with Leroy and Hiram.

It had made Quinn realize many things. Rachel hadn't really changed but she had seriously matured in this three years, even if she suspected the biggest changes in the brunette had happened over the last year. And Quinn had found out she liked this grow up version of her ex-girlfriend, really liked it.

It also made her realize that she had let the fear of being hurt rule her life for the last years. She had kept everyone at arm's length and only in this last weeks she had remembered how much more enjoyable was letting others in. Because she hadn't spent her time only with Rachel. Santana and her had talked, and no small talked, at practice about how much the Latina was happy with Brittany and how Quinn was coping with having to work so closely to Rachel. After that talk Quinn had felt better, much more grounded, even if she had sucked at putting into words exactly why she didn't felt uneasy or angry when she spent time with Rachel.

Feeling someone nudge her shoulder, Quinn blinked and turned to her right. Rachel caught her gaze and winked at her. Quinn couldn't help but smile back at her. Yeah, maybe it was really time to stop being afraid let others all the way in.

"Ahh… thanks Mike and Artie." Mister Shue said clapping politely along with the others, internally still cringing and from the faces around him he wasn't the only one who hadn't found the rendition of (I've Had) The Time Of My Life thrilling. Will promised himself to never make Mike and Artie sing together again, even if he had to rig the draw the next time he used the hat.

Sheepishly, the two boys made their way back to the risers, they too painfully conscious of just how bad they had sounded singing I've had the time of my life. And it went better then when they had practiced. With a glance and a nod they both decided to bring that particular fact to the grave.

"Alright. The last couple to perform will be Quinn and Rachel. The floor is yours." Will said going back to sit.

Nodding, the girls stood up going to position themselves beside today's band. Glancing at them Quinn recognized them as being fellow students. She was curious on just why they were playing for them when Glee was still seen as a losers' club. Having talked to Brad before, she knew he was a professional chosen by Mister Shue by hired directly by school. It was one of the man's few decisions she approved wholeheartedly of. But the bands weren't professional nor she thought were they paid, since Quinn had heard more than once Shue complain about Glee budget. And if they hadn't the money to travel to competition she sure as hell hoped he didn't spend any on live music when recordings would do as well.

Hearing her cue Quinn relegated this line of thought for another time, sooner a or later she would just ask Mr Shue about it. When the instrumental part of the song started she stepped closer to Rachel until she was almost brushing against her just like in the original choreography.

Just another one champion sound

Me and Estelle about to get down

Who the hottest in the world right now

Just touched down in London town

Bet they give me a pound

Tell them put the money in my hand right now

Tell the promoter we need more seats

We just sold out all the floor seats

Quinn rapped smiling to Rachel. She had enjoyed working with Rachel on this duet much more that she had hoped to, especially after their first night. Yeah, when they had been paired up Quinn had thought it would be a disaster at best and a strange form of torture at worst, but a girl could be wrong, couldn't she? And she hadn't ever been happier to be wrong in her life.

Apparently this new approach of just trying to be happy, and spending time with Rachel made her happy, worked out for her. It had been years Quinn hadn't had a week so wonderful and enjoyable.

Rachel smiled back at the blonde as, like in the original song, she lead the chorus with Quinn easily harmonizing with her.

Take me on a trip I'd like to go some day

Take me to New York I'd love to see LA

I really want to

come kick it with you

You'll be my american boy

It took Rachel every time by surprise just how effortless was singing with Quinn. There was a smoothness to their duets that Rachel had always had to work hard to reach with others, especially with Finn. It made singing with Quinn fun and right.

And from the sparkling in the hazel eyes it was clear that Quinn was having fun too. It let Rachel gather the courage to do something she had been thinking about doing all week but until today she had been unsure if it was the right thing to do.

He said Hey sister

It's really really nice to meet ya

I just met this 5 foot 7 guys who's just my type

I like the way he's speaking

His confidence is peaking

Don't like his baggy jeans but I like what's underneath it

At this line Rachel let her gaze wander meaningfully over Quinn's body, clad in the same baggy pants she had used for the Empire State of Mind performance. The boys whistled and the girls cheered at the display, enjoying the girls' choice of performing the song in a rather spicy way.

Santana saw something more in it behind Rachel's gaze. Knowing what she knew about the girls' past it was pretty obvious there was a lot going underneath the surface. For instance the slightly surprised but shyly pleased look that flashed on Quinn's face told the Latina this wasn't the way they had practiced the song. And she knew Rachel enough to know the brunette didn't like to improvise if she didn't need to.

The conclusion was pretty obvious. Rachel was letting Quinn know she was interested.

Santana narrowed her eyes, she didn't know if she liked it or not but the small smile that was playing on the corner of Quinn's lips made clear her friend was aboard with it, at least somewhat. "At least the hobbit is getting subtler about serenading her love interest, kinda." She thought looking around the room, seeing that nobody had caught Rachel's declaration of interest in Quinn.

And no I ain't been to MIA I heard that Cali never rains and New York heart awaits

For Quinn it was easy to see the serious look in Rachel's eyes, the slightly emphasis she put on the last words. It made her heart beat faster.

First let's see the west end I'll show you to my bridrens

I'm like this american boy

American boy

The rest of the glee club joined to the chorus and began to dance in their chairs. Whatever else it meant for the two of them, Rachel's was a really, really good performance. She felt the song and it showed in the emotions behind her voice.

The brunette took a breath before singing the chorus again, her gaze still locked in Quinn's.

Take me on a trip I'd like to go some day

Take me to New York I'd love to see LA

Rachel sang those lines like she really wanted to see the world with Quinn at her side. Not knowing how much Rachel was just playing a role and how much she really meant the blonde raised an eyebrow in question. As answer Rachel just nodded, making a little cross on her heart.

I really want to

come kick it with you

You'll be my american boy

Seeing Quinn shift her gaze from her own for a moment, a sure sign she had reached limit in dealing with deep emotions, Rachel decided to lighten the tension. The last thing she wanted was to scare the other girl away pushing too fast.

Can we get away this weekend? Take me to Broadway

Rachel winked playfully at Quinn, who just smiled and rolled her eyes, before stepping close to the brunette to dance teasingly against her. The blonde, her eyes half closed, just enjoined the feeling of being there with Rachel, of being in synch with her.

Let's go shopping baby, then we'll go to a Café

Let's go on the subway, take me to your hood

I neva been to Brooklyn and I'd like to see what's good

By this time everyone was out of their chair, dancing and singing along the chorus. Santana too joined the others dragged by Brittany. Before losing herself in the music the Latina made a mental note to keep a close eye on Rachel and her friend and see how things evolved.

Rachel sang the closing verse beautifully, the look in her brown eyes making clear to Quinn she was singing to her.

Would you be my love, my love.

Could be mine would you be my love my love, could be mine

Could you be my love, my love.

Would you be my American Boy? American Boy.

"That was fantastic girls." Will complimented, breaking the girls gaze.

"Thanks Mr Shue." Rachel replied beaming a fake, show, smile. Sure, she liked to be appreciated, but right now she was much more focused on Quinn and her reaction to the song than anything else. She needed to know if Quinn was ready to give them another shot and built afuture together.

"Every time you duet together you surprise me." Mr Shue said walking to them. "I mean I always fear Quinn's tremulous voice will be drowned out by yours, Rachel, but in the end it always comes out right."

"Gee, thanks." Quinn said in her driest tone, rolling her eyes. But she was kind of glad of his untimely interruption. Rachel had surprised her with the song and she didn't know quite how to answer her.

Will didn't seem to get Quinn's sarcasm, going on blithely, "Why don't the two of them do our duet at nationals?" He enthused.

"You serious?" Quinn asked arching her eyebrow, disbelieving. Mr Shue had just insulted her voice and now he wanted her to be one of the leads at Nationals? Sometimes Quinn wondered if the man had a screw loose somewhere. Other times she was sure of it. And considering just how deranged Sue was, and how eccentric Miss Pillsbury was, one had to wonder about the standards of McKinley's teaching staff.

"Why shouldn't I?" He asked oblivious. "It's a fantastic idea, isn't it?"

"You do realize that most duet songs are written for a male and a female voice, do you?" Quinn pointed out, meaningfully arching her eyebrow.

"I'm sure that won't be a problem." Rachel cut in, surprising Quinn who turned to face her with her still arched eyebrow pointed at her now.

"I'm not exactly your average male lead Rachel." She challenged, knowing the brunette always tried to get Shue to choose powerful, well-known songs for competition because that was what the judges liked to see performing. And with her not exactly powerful voice and their being both women Rachel had to know that most, if not all, of the more famous duets would be out.

"Good because I have never settled for average." Rachel said looking straight at her, she too challenging. They weren't talking only about the duet anymore.

"Are you sure Rachel?"

"I'm sure Quinn. I want to do this." The brunette replied quite determined.

"Very well." The blonde agreed, nodding, before turning to face their teacher. "We'll do the duet Mr Shue."

"Perfect." The man approved.

"So it'll end once again with Rachel doing the solo and the duet." Mercedes said bitterly brusquely reminding Quinn that there were other people on the room beside them. Apparently Rachel simple presence had started once more to make her forget whatever else was going around. "Another Rachel Berry's show."

"I gave space to others at sectionals." Will pointed out, frowning at the accusation.

"Not everybody got the chance to sing at sectionals." Kurt reminded him.

Will was caught flat footed by that.

"If you let Quinn and me sing the duet, and choose the song to perform, I'll waive any claim to the solo." Rachel proposed, not wanting to risk losing the chance to duet with Quinn, and quite incidentally spend more time with her. Rachel noticed how shocked Quinn looked, but didn't say anything. Rachel had finally got her priorities straight and the chances of singing a solo didn't rate even close to spend time with the blonde.

"Everybody alright with this?" Shue asked, relieved, and a bit startled, that Rachel had stepped in with a compromise solution. Maybe the small girl was really starting to get that there was no I in a team.

"It seems fair." Mercedes said after exchanging a glance with Kurt, who nodded his agreement. The others didn't seem particularly invested in the question but everybody nodded or just shrugged.

"Good. Then the duet it's yours girls. Let me know what song you'll perform."

Once the crisis had been solved, Mr Shue had decided to do a brainstorming session for ideas on their group number. Not surprisingly it had ended without anything significant being decided, largely due to the fact it was Friday and just about everybody wanted to go home and start the weekend. It had took almost twenty minutes before Mr Shue admitted defeat and wrapped up Glee rehearsal, adjourning the discussion to the next week.

Before leavening the school Quinn had gone to change back in her Cheerios uniform mindful of Coach Sylvester's dress code policy. Something that went like "if I see you wearing plain clothes on school grounds we'll see if suicides were called so because people run them until they died or suicide to make them end." She had took her time trying to wrap her mind around what had happened at Glee, so it surprised her to see the brunette still at her locker as she was making her way to the parking lot. Quinn made her way to the smaller girl, not resisting the sudden impulse to just talk once more to Rachel before saying goodbye for the weekend.

She had come just about her side when Rachel startled, practically jumping out of her skin. It would be a normal reaction to having someone surprise you if not for the fear that flashed on Rachel's face when she caught sight of the Cheerios' uniform. It was gone a moment later replaced with a small smile. "Hello Quinn."

"I was really a bitch, wasn't I?" Quinn asked in her soft voice, knowing what had brought forth Rachel's reaction. She had never spent much time thinking how bad Rachel would feel being bullied in high school after having experienced it already in middle high. At first seeing Rachel being as miserable as she felt had made her feel better, after all misery loves company. Quinn supposed it made her a petty and pretty shallow person, it definitely made her a vindictive bitch.

It hadn't been until the pregnancy, when she had been bullied again, that Quinn had asked herself if she hadn't gone overboard with her revenge, and even then she hadn't spent much time thinking about it. Too many things were happening at the time and she had been hanging on by sheer will without trying to sort through matters that weren't of immediate concern. And after, well after, she had somewhat changed her behavior in regard of Rachel and buried whatever self doubt she had felt in a dark corner of her mind.

Rachel regarded the blonde for a long moment, not knowing what to say, before answering, choosing her words carefully. This was an important talk and there was much that rode on it going right. She hadn't wanted to talk about this today but Quinn had broached the topic first and it wasn't something they could just sweep under a rug and forget. "If it makes you feel better you weren't the only one or even the worst one." And Quinn hadn't been. Before joining Glee club the blonde had for the most part ignored her but for an handful of run-ins that hadn't really stood out from the rest of the bullying Rachel had endured freshman year. She had insulted her several times and cut her at knees with her sharp tongue but Quinn had never sought her out specifically to make her life miserable. After the blonde had joined New Directions, and their interactions had become practically daily, things had run hot and cold between them.

Knowing she hadn't been the only one to bully Rachel did make Quinn feel worse actually, but she didn't say anything, waiting for the brunette to go on.

"You know what hurts the most now that I know the truth? It isn't the time you slushied me or the times when you verbally put me down. The first was more of a fluke than anything else and the second, well in a way I had done it to you first, so yours was just a retaliation of sorts. Probably I even deserved it to some extent. I can accept that." Rachel looked up in those hazel eyes with tears in her own. "What really hurts was seeing you laughing after I was slushied by some jock or another." Rachel took a shuddering breath. "That was just plain cruel Quinn."

"I wish I could tell you why I did it, but the truth is I just don't know. But Rachel, I swear to you I never found it funny." Quinn fumbled to find words to explain something she had never quite grasped herself, forcing herself to held Rachel's gaze, when she wanted so badly just look away. "It doesn't make any sense but it's the truth. God I don't know, maybe I'm just messed up in the head. More than I already knew, I mean." She added with a self-deprecating smile that the brunette didn't return. "I'm just sorry Rachel, and not only for that."

Rachel nodded, believing her, accepting that there was no malicious intent behind that laugh. "I don't want to dwell in the past, Quinn." She said softly, after a moment of silence, still choosing her words with the upmost attention. She hadn't broached this topic to fight with Quinn, she had just needed to know why the blonde had done what she had done to close that chapter in her life once and for all. Because they had talked about their past several times but, aside prom night, they had never spoke about what had happened freshman and sophomore year. "I'm much more interested in the future." She said, willing Quinn to understand what she meant. "I made mistakes. You made mistakes. There were outside circumstances neither of us could control that played a role in how we acted. We both regret our mistakes more than we can say. I sure do more than I can say." Rachel stressed.

"And now that we know this, that we know how and why it happened, we can go round and round talking about it until the end of time and still get to nothing, Quinn." Those last weeks had been a frustrating going back and forth and for every step forward they had made they had took three back. And Rachel knew this dance had been her fault as much as Quinn's fault. It seemed that every time one of them wanted to take a step forward, to forgive the past to try and built a future, the other seemed unwilling to let the past up. She was tired of it and after the week they had spent together, Rachel was pretty sure Quinn too was ready to stop this game they were playing. "Nothing that will really mean anything in the long run anyway. And sooner or later we will just have to decide if we can and want to move forward from the past or not." Rachel shrugged just a bit and turned to grab the last of books she needed for the weekend and close her locker before facing her ex girlfriend again. It surprised her finding Quinn giving her a fond half-smile that reached the warm hazel eyes. The words that followed surprised her even more.

"Or maybe we could just forgive each other and be done with it."

Rachel blinked, for a moment not sure she had heard the blonde right. Then seeing Quinn waiting patiently for her answer she smiled, no, beamed at the taller girl. "Maybe I already did."

"Maybe we both did." Quinn teased back, now grinning openly, feeling a weight she didn't know she had lift from her shoulders at Rachel's quick agreement at her impulsive suggestion. "So, now we can just move on, right?"

"I would really like that." Rachel admitted with a smile, shouldering her school bag, ready to go home.

"Me too." Quinn agreed, holding her hand out to the brunette, reaching out to her. "So, walk with me to the cars?"

"Sure." Rachel replied interlocking their fingers.

They walked in silence, their shoulders barely brushing until they reached Quinn's red car, exchanging shy, pleased, glances along the way.

"So, I was thinking about starting again my outdoor training." Rachel said coming to a stop, not letting go Quinn's fingers. "The weather is pretty much ideal this time of the year for outdoor practice and I really need to exercise my voice before nationals." Suddenly realizing she was nervously playing with Quinn's fingers Rachel let them go, taking a step back, shooting an apologetic grin to the blonde for her forwardness. "And I miss it." She added not talking about the alleged voice practice at all.

"Tomorrow morning I have Cheerios practice from seven to nine," seeing Rachel's face starting to fall, Quinn quickly went on. "but a walk around the park after that isn't a bad idea. It would do my legs good. To avoid cramps, you know?"

"Yeah?" Rachel asked smiling, happy that the blonde was playing along with the feeble excuse.

"Yeah." Quinn grinned back before opening her car's door and getting in. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Rachel agreed. She watched Quinn start the car and leave the parking lot with a smile on her face, today had gone much better that she had hoped for.

xxx

Saturday's dinner at Pierce's home had been a weekly tradition since Brittany and Santana had started middle high, just like Sunday's dinner at Lopez's was. Even when the girls had started high school and weekend parties or dates had became more and more frequent neither of them had so much thought as skipping either dinner. If there was a party on Saturday night they simply went after having eaten and spent time with the family, and if they wanted to have a sleep over with Quinn they would organize it at the Pierce's home.

So to say Santana felt at ease at Brittany's home was an understatement of epic proportions. She had practically grown up with them and loved the Pierce's like her own family. Her love was completely returned, more than once Brittany's parents had referred to her as another daughter.

This made Susan Pierce all the more suspicious about the girl's strange nervousness at tonight's dinner.

When Susan had asked with just a glance why Santana was so out of sort, Brittany had simply shrugged, her own puzzlement clear. It hadn't been only one thing that had tipped Susan off. Santana hadn't met her gaze once since stepping a foot in the house; she had already dropped her fork three times, blushing and muttering sorry every time she struggled to pick it up. All behaviors very much not Santana's like.

"Are you alright dear?" Brittany's mother asked at least, trying to find out just why Santana was so nervous and jumpy.

"Yes."

The quick, rushed really, answer did all but reassure Susan of the truth of it. She let it go, but after several minutes of just watching the brunette play with the food on her plate she decided to prod a bit. "You know you can tell us anything don't you?"

"Sure." Santana mumbled out, thinking at just how well her own grandmother had took the news. Her beloved abuela had told her she didn't want to see her never again. After that Santana had asked Brittany to be the one to tell her parents. Brittany had looked puzzled by the request but had agreed.

The brunette had been relieved. Santana didn't want her girlfriend be alone if her parents took the news bad like she had been with her abuela. The only thing that made Santana want to go on and tell Susan and Mike about Brittany and her was the fact her own parents had been fantastic about the news. Santana had told them just before prom and they had simply hugged her and asked her to bring Brittany around to get ready for the prom so that they could take their photos as tradition. Santana loved them all the more for it.

"That didn't sound very believable Santana." Mike Pierce said from the far head of the table, frowning just a bit. He too was concerned about the brunette. This evening the girl fidgeted, stammered and generally seemed ill at ease.

"Are you sure there is nothing that would make you turn your back to Britt?" Santana asked point blank looking from one to another, lacing her fingers with Brittany's to shore up her courage. She knew she was grasping for a reassurance before telling them but she couldn't quite help it.

"There is nothing you can say that can shock or dismay us child." Susan said quite sternly, getting really worried now. It wasn't Santana's like to beat around the bush. "So, whatever it is, just spit it out."

"Britt and I are in a relationship." Santana blurted out. She closed her eyes, trembling from the fear they would ask her to get up and never come back or worse.

There was a long silence before Susan broke it. "Haven't you been for years?"

Seeing badass, hard as nails, Santana choke on her own spit was pretty amusing, Susan decided. "What?!"

"Well, there is a reason because every time we step in the house we call out, you know?" Mike informed her helpfully. "We really didn't walk in in anything embarrassing for all of us."

"You never told us anything!" Santana almost screeched, still stunned. She felt the blood rush to her face and knew she was blushing fiercely.

"What should I have said?" Mike explained with a shrug. "Girls, I know you are together because I caught you making out topless on the couch when I got home earlier than scheduled?" He paused shivering remembering that late afternoon when he had made the earliest flight to get home from a work trip out town. "And just to be perfectly clear." He looked straight at them after clearing his throat. "And as far I am concerned making out is as far as you ever have gone and ever will go."

"Of course dad." Brittany agreed humoring him, since Santana was apparently speechless.

"You picked her up for Prom and brought her corsage, Santana." Susan added trying to slightly change topic. As funny as seeing Santana blush that shade of red, lobsters would be envious of that color, she really didn't want the image of her little girls having sex in her mind. After Mike had told her what he had seen, she had been very careful to never walk in on them, always making as much rumor as possible whenever she got home. It had happened anyway, but lucky her she had only caught them kissing and cuddling. She could live with that. "And you drive her to school and back every day. Did you really think we wouldn't add two and two and get four?"

"Yeah?" Came Santana's strangled reply but the she was beginning to calm down. Now if only her ears would stop burning almost painfully everything would be perfect.

"Really?" Susan rolled her eyes. "You have been in love, and been quite obvious about it, for years. We are only glad you feel comfortable enough to tell us." Susan added. "So, who wants dessert?" She asked like she did every Saturday when everybody had ate up the second course.

xxx

Rachel walked in the studio for her lesson with Elizabeth Winthrop perfectly on time but feeling pretty apprehensive. It would be her third lesson with the woman but Rachel couldn't quite shake her fear it would be the last.

It was the first time they would see each other after the blonde woman had learned that she was Lucy's Rachel. And the way Elizabeth had looked at her after finding out, a mixture of curiosity and censure, had told Rachel that she knew about what happened three years ago.

What Rachel didn't know was how much the woman knew about that or what her reaction would be.

When Elizabeth didn't cancel the lesson outright, Rachel had felt her anxiousness lessen, even if only a little. It had been enough that now she was about to enter in the little studio she didn't feel like throwing up from nerves.

Her mind had had fun conjuring apocalyptic scenarios when she had realized the connection between Quinn and Elizabeth. The thought that the same mistake that had cost her Quinn years ago could now cost her the best teacher she could learn from in Lima had formed pretty fast in her mind. Rachel knew it was a unfounded fear but no matter how much she knew it was irrational and pessimistic the brunette hadn't quite managed to quell it.

So, even if she had tried hard to rationalize it all away, the first words that came out once she had walked through the door were, "I'm still your student?"

"Why shouldn't you?" Elizabeth's tone was puzzled, the woman obviously startled by her question if her cocked head and arched eyebrow was anything to go by.

"You know Quinn and care for her. And you know I broke her heart." Rachel quickly laid out, for once going straight to the point. "You know how I broke it."

"I don't really know what happened between you." Elizabeth said sitting down in one of the chairs scattered around the room, her hand motioning to Rachel to do the same. "All Quinn ever told me was that you broke up with her."

"She never…" Rachel started before stopping not quite sure of what to say.

"No." Elizabeth confirmed. "Why did you?" Because it really made no sense to the blonde woman seeing how much Rachel still cared for Quinn. Just about every single of hers actions in the choir room days ago screamed it.

"I made an horrible mistake." The arched eyebrow now was familiar to Rachel, almost reassuring. Even if it meant Elizabeth was waiting for her to elaborate before deciding if she needed to get angry or not. Quinn had an expression just like that. IT was almost scary how much they resembled each other. "I'm a very intense, determined, driven, person, you know?" Rachel asked, apparently changing topic.

"I suspected." Elizabeth said with a wry smile. "Not many people come to me saying they will be Broadway next big star." "Nor they have the talent to actually make it." She added to herself.

"Yes, Broadway is my big dream." Rachel agreed with a beaming smile that made Elizabeth smile back. The girl's enthusiasm was that infectious. Then the brunette got serious, "The only problem is that sometime I get too focused, so much so I lose sight of everything else but my objective. I get lost in it for a lack of better explanation. I'm the kind of person that goes all out or not at all." Rachel added with her own wry smile. "It's just the way I am."

"I hate tell you this, but it's pretty obvious." It was probably the first thing Elizabeth had noticed about Rachel's personality.

"It is, isn't it?" Rachel sounded almost wistful. "I'm very much like my daddy that way. We are very methodical, we like set routines. We are perfectionist. There is a technical, psychological, term to describe this: obsessive tendencies. Last year I saw a psychologist for some time to learn how to manage them." Rachel explained, sounding much more mature than a sixteen year old. "Like many, let's call them, personality traits, it makes some things difficult."

"Such as?" Elizabeth asked curious.

"People like me find difficult to understand that there can be a middle ground between right and wrong. That not everything has to be perfect to be good enough. We think in absolute terms. We see in black or white: you make it or not; you are invested in something it or not; something is permitted or not."

"I get it."

"Good. I'm not trying to be difficult or changing topic. Just please bear with me, it's a bit of a complex thing to explain." Rachel explained. "When I started studying with Miss Ferguson she told me something: music is the greatest love of the life of every professional singer. The only one." She recited verbatim. The sentence had made a lasting impression in her. It had been the very first day, and this imposing, severe woman whom towered over her and had the most beautiful voice Rachel had ever heard live, had told her these words, looking straight in her eyes, their importance so clear even to a nine years old child.

"It's something pretty common to say. My own teacher liked to say one has to live music, to breath it, to dream it to make it big at Broadway." Elizabeth recalled fondly.

"Exactly." Rachel chuckled ruefully, shaking her head a little. "It's a perfectly normal thing to say to motivate your students. The problem is I got fixated on the only one part. It suited my personality, you see." From Elizabeth's surprised look she was beginning to get it. "I was comfortable with the idea that there could be only one true love in one's life, it made being friendless less a burden." Rachel admitted with a shrug. "I was so sure my only love was music. And then I met Lucy. She made me happy in a way music never did. And I loved her."

Rachel took a deep breath and started again after a moment of silence, the words beginning to get just a bit rushed, like she wanted to end this story as soon as possible. "I cut back the hours I spent practicing to spend time with Lucy or thinking about her. I was always distracted, even if I didn't even realize it then, I mean I was what thirteen and falling in love. I lost my usual focus while singing so I began to make stupid mistakes." Rachel told obviously lost in her memories. "One day, after a really bad lesson, Miss Ferguson told me I had to focus once again or my dreams would never become reality. That she wasn't one to lose time teaching to someone who didn't give it all." There was another pause as Rachel was searching for the right words to explain what that words had meant to her. "In my mind it come down to choosing between music or Lucy." It was easy for Elizabeth to see that Rachel was telling her the truth. The girl seemed torn about it even now. "Something I had dreamed since I was three or the girl that in less than six months had made my life perfect."

"As you can guess I choose music." When Rachel went on she wasn't looking at her anymore, her gaze far away, but Elizabeth saw the tears gathered in the brown eyes. "I went to Quinn and broke up with her, telling her she just wasn't good enough. It took me a pretty long time, and my psychologist's help, to understand that I said that because I didn't feel good enough and took it out on her." The girl fell quiet for a long moment after that, her gaze now locked on her hands. "I still struggle with it you know?"

"Struggle with what, Rachel?" Elizabeth prodded feeling there was much behind the girl's non sequitur.

"To believe that my Broadway dream isn't the only thing that matter in my life. That I don't have to always put my Broadway dream first. I still have many problems to really believe that, to deal in a healthy way with my Broadway dream."

"Rachel look at me." Elizabeth asked kindly, gently guiding the brunette's chin up when she didn't lift it on her own. "It hasn't to be that way."

"It hasn't?" Rachel asked almost bitterly. "You told yourself your teacher told you: one has to live music, to breath it, to dream it to make it big at Broadway."

"You are twisting my words Rachel and you know it." Elizabeth gently rebuked her. "Look at me. I'm the living proof of that alright? I fell madly in love and married the man I'm still with today, just out of high school. And I got to perform on Broadway and the Metropolitan. I became a successful singer. You can have both. Got it?"

"Got it." The brunette said, nodding a bit hesitantly.

Elizabeth regarded her critically, studying her for a long moment. "I don't think you really get it yet, but I'll help you get there, ok?" It was clear she had startled the girl and it was as clear that Rachel had had all the emotional conversations she could deal with for the day. "Now, let's get to work, you have much to learn before being ready for Broadway."