Disclaimer: I do not own Glee
Note: ND is notoriously nosy. What happens when they have booty camp the day after Kurt tops for the first time? Based on how amazing Chris Colfer looks in Kurt's skinny jeans...and how in the world does a man with that high a voice and that little body hair have...THAT going on.
Blaine groaned softly in pain as he settled into his seat in the choir room. Kurt reached over and squeezed his hand, offering a silent apology.
"Blaine, are you okay?" Brittany asked, observing the two. "You look like you're hurt. And that's not good. Cause when dolphins get hurt-"
"He's fine, Britt," Kurt said, not unkindly. "Or he will be." The last was whispered in Blaine's ear.
Blaine smiled and squeezed Kurt's hand again. Then it was time to practice choreography. Blaine thought about making up an excuse to get out of it, because the truth was a little too uncomfortable to discuss, but he finally just decided to suck it up and go for it.
He didn't sing though, for once thankful that he had no solos. It was all he could do to grit his teeth and dance. At one point, Tina pulled him aside, out into the hall and down to the girl's bathroom, where no one would overhear.
"Tina, we're in the middle of rehearsal. What are you doing?"
"Blaine, you look the same way I did the day after losing my virginity to Mike. Did you and Kurt…"
Blaine leaned against the wall and nodded weakly. "Yeah," he said. "Last night. Then we remembered Saturday rehearsal. What a mistake. Who would have thought…never mind."
"What?" Tina asked gently, rubbing a caring hand up and down Blaine's arm. "What are you thinking?"
"He's a countertenor. He doesn't need to shave, ever. How in the world," Blaine sighed. "How in the world did a guy like Kurt end up being hung like a horse?"
Tina pressed her lips together, her eyes dancing with silent laughter. "Oh, honey," she said softly. "His clothes leave nothing to the imagination. Didn't you ever suspect?"
"I tried not to look," Blaine said quietly. "I really did. But I didn't….I never thought….holy fuck, Tina."
"You'll be okay. Just give yourself some time to adjust," Tina advised. "Besides, it's not like you're a shrinking violet yourself." She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "You guys are lucky. You can try it both ways."
"We'd better get back in there, in case someone comes looking for us," Blaine said. He splashed some water on his face.
"Someone like me?" the door pushed open and Kurt walked in. "What's going on?" He looked at the two of them, Tina's hand on Blaine's back, shut away in the girl's bathroom when the school was all but empty. If he hadn't known Tina was head over heels for Mike, and that Blaine was 100% gay, he might have been suspicious.
Blaine blushed. He actually blushed. "Um, well, Kurt…Tina noticed I was walking a little stiffly, so she pulled me out of rehearsal to make sure I was okay."
"And Blaine let it slip that you are…I believe his exact words were, hung like a horse," Tina smirked. "I'll leave you two alone while I go ponder the genetics of that even being possible."
"Hey!" Kurt exclaimed.
"Calm down, love," Blaine said, smiling at Kurt. "She just means the innate lack of facial hair you have going on, and the fact that you're…well…well-endowed."
Kurt grinned. "Just lucky, I guess. Blessed, if you will."
Blaine groaned. "I swear, you're going to pay for this."
"You sure, Anderson?" Kurt said flirtatiously. "Or is your mouth writing checks your ass isn't willing to cash?"
"It's your ass on the line next time. Why did I ever think that doing it your way was going to be easy?"
"Because I turned the puppy dog eyes on you, and you couldn't bend over fast enough," Kurt said sweetly. "Now, rehearsal. I'm not ready to take bets on who the next person through the door is going to be."
"Either Rachel, or Mr. Schue. Neither of which is a pleasant thought," Blaine agreed. "I love you."
"I love you." Kurt leaned in, kissed him thoroughly, and palmed his boyfriend's cock through the tight red pants he was wearing. "See you back in the choir room!" he called, sauntering out of the bathroom.