He lied.

He had lied to her.

How he fervently wished he hadn't.

That moment in the coffee shop meant much more to Blaine that he let on. He had felt free and right. Like nothing could ever compare. Nothing could ever compare. He had felt almost airborne.

Yet, he had lied. He had taken the easy way out. He had chosen to avoid any all types of confrontation.

He couldn't take the sight of her expectant for his approval, for his acceptance.

And just as he was about to kiss her again, he thought of if he did kiss her, all he's ever been defined as, all he ever thought of himself would be a lie. He couldn't handle realizing his life was a lie. So he did the reasonable thing in his eyes.

He lied to her. He lied to Rachel.

As he watched her watering eyes, he couldn't help but think that he had made one of the greatest mistakes of his life. But as he directed himself towards the bathroom he couldn't help the shudder that escaped him, trying his best to hold the tearless, heart-wrenching sobs that threatened to overtake his body.

When he fell to the floor, he released the tears he'd been desperately trying to hold; he was infuriated at the situation. He was infuriated with her. He was infuriated with himself. Blaine couldn't stop feeling so utterly and helplessly heartbroken and he couldn't handle it.

He was despairingly praying to some deity to help him stop feeling. Blaine was certain that the image of her eyes so rightfully abandoned would forever haunt his dreams; taunting him with many what if's and what could have been's.

In the end, the ones who ended up being hurt were Rachel and he. What made him rage though, was that he had no one to blame but himself.

As he closed his eyes, and tried to stand he brokenly whispered, "I'm so very sorry."

A little drabble that I felt I needed to write after many years of being out. I'm still a little wary but reviews are so very welcome x.